tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-90099044828176762012024-03-28T07:40:05.005-04:00Capital ReviewsCapital Reviewshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01676950448402457708noreply@blogger.comBlogger2369125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9009904482817676201.post-6243866113399565852024-03-28T07:39:00.002-04:002024-03-28T07:39:28.007-04:00carol and the end of the world [Television]<p> carol and the end of the world [Television]</p><p>IT'S HARD TO PIN DOWN WHAT I THINK ABOUT THIS. IT'S MELANCHOLIA BUT A CARTOON ABOUT A 42 YEAR OLD WOMAN THAT SITS AT APPLEBEES IN HER FREE TIME WHILE EVERYONE ON EARTH 'ON THE BEACH'ES IT. I FEEL LIKE EVERY SINGLE SECOND OF WATCHING THIS MADE ME WANT TO DIE. </p><p>PS. I DON'T FEEL LIKE THE ENDING WORKS. LIKE CLEARLY IT'S GOOD SHE GOT FRIENDS AND WENT TO PARTIES BUT LIKE, LITERALLY EVERYONE ON EARTH WAS HAVING PARTIES NONSTOP. I GET IT CAN BE SOME LITTLE PRINCE TYPE THING WHERE BEING HAPPY MIGHT MEAN BEING SAD, BUT IT FEELS LIKE THE HR WOMAN IS RIGHT AND SHE'S MADE THEM ALL WORSE OFF. I FEEL LIKE WANT TO TALK ABOUT THIS SHOW TO COMPLAIN ABOUT THIS. </p>Capital Reviewshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01676950448402457708noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9009904482817676201.post-26416348221679277722024-03-24T16:06:00.000-04:002024-03-24T16:06:13.946-04:00Ghostbusters: The Frozen Empire [movie]<p> Ghostbusters: The Frozen Empire [movie]</p><p>THIS MOVIE IS FINE. I LIKED IT WELL ENOUGH. THERE WAS A PART SLIMER CAME OUT AND SOMEONE YELLED "I KNOW THAT GUY" AND THAT IS THE SUMMARY OF THIS MOVIE. IT FEELS LIKE THIS WAS MOSTLY A GOOD MOVIE BUT ENDLESSLY BOGGED DOWN IN 'HEY HERE IS THIS GHOST BUSTER THING' UNTIL THE CLIMAX WHERE THERE WAS LIKE 16 DIFFERENT PEOPLE AND THINGS THERE. ALSO I FEEL LIKE THEY WANTED EVEN MORE, LIKE, IT FEELS LIKE THEY SET UP THE FIRE POLE BEING THE EXTREMELY IMPORTANT SOURCE OF BRASS OR SOMETHING THEN SHE JUST GETS IT OFF SCREEN IN LIKE 2 SECONDS FROM SOMEWHERE ELSE. </p><p>PS. I FEEL LIKE THEY WORKSHOPPED THE GHOST GIRLFRIEND STORY RIGHT INTO THE GROUND. LIKE YOU CAN TELL ONE WRITER WANTED TO BE COY ABOUT IT AND GAY BAIT THEN ANOTHER WRITER WAS LIKE "IT'S 2024 AND THIS KID IS SUPER GAY" SO IT ENDED UP IN A WEIRD SCENE WHERE SHE'S LIKE "YOU ARE THE ONLY ONE THAT GETS ME GHOST GIRL, EVERYONE ELSE HATES ME AND MY LIFE ISN'T WORTH LIVING, IF THERE WAS ONLY A WAY I COULD BE WITH YOU" AND THEN INSTEAD OF KILLING HERSELF SHE WENT INTO A CASPER MACHINE AND LIKE.... WHAT WAS THE PLAN? FUCK THE GHOST FOR 2 MINUTES? WHAT WAS SUPPOSED TO HAPPEN IF A DIABLO BOSS HADN'T COME OUT OF HELLRAISER ORB? </p>Capital Reviewshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01676950448402457708noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9009904482817676201.post-5398614258729887352024-03-23T23:30:00.000-04:002024-03-23T23:30:03.559-04:00Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Mutant Mayhem [movie]<p> Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Mutant Mayhem [movie]</p><p>FIRST OF ALL, THIS MOVIE EXTREMELY WANTED TO BE SPIDERMAN, IT'S WEIRD HOW IT GOT A REALLY GOOD VISUAL STYLE BUT THEN ALL THE NON-TURTLE CHARACTER DESIGNS WERE ABSOLUTELY THE UGLIEST EVER IN A MOVIE EVER. IT WAS STILL A GOOD MOVIE THOUGH. </p><p>PS. THE WEIRD REFERENCE BASED HUMOR REALLY CAUGHT ME OFF GUARD. IT FELT LIKE IT WOULD BE A SPACE JAM II THING WHERE IT WAS JUST CO-BRANDING (WITH HEY ARNOLD??) BUT IT WAS GOING ALL OVER, DISNEY STUFF, ATTACK ON TITAN, THAT COMIC WITH MEGA MILK (!), AND LITTLE BITS OF THE WRITING WERE JUST EXTREMELY GOOD. MOSTLY "IT MAKES SENSE IF YOU THINK ABOUT IT" AND "HE USED MY STICK AGAINST ME AND NOW HE'S MOLLYWOLLOPING ME" </p>Capital Reviewshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01676950448402457708noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9009904482817676201.post-27875278646668407652024-03-18T22:27:00.002-04:002024-03-18T22:27:32.915-04:00Mighty Morphin Power Rangers: Once & Always [movie]<p>Mighty Morphin Power Rangers: Once & Always [movie]</p><p>I DON'T KNOW. THIS MOVIE RULES. IT'S ONE OF THOSE MOVIES THAT IS DEFINITELY A PARODY BUT THE KIND OF PARODY WHERE THEY LITERALLY EVER MAKE A JOKE OR TRY TO BE FUNNY AND IT'S JUST LIKE THE MOST SPOT ON FULL HEARTED LEGITIMATE VERSION OF HOW STUPID POWER RANGERS ALWAYS WAS. LIKE ALL THE POWER RANGERS ARE 40 AND YOU THINK THEY WOULD MAKE JOKES ABOUT THAT, BUT THEY REALLY DON'T. SO YOU THINK THEY WOULD EXAGGERATE HOW BAD THE WRITING IS, BUT THEY DON'T DO THAT EITHER, OR YOU THINK THEY WOULD GO THE OTHER WAY AND TRY TO MAKE POWER RANGERS ACTUALLY COOL AS IT THOUGHT IT WAS AND THEY DON'T DO THAT THEY JUST WRITE EXACTLY WHAT EVERYONE WOULD HAVE SAID EXACTLY IN THE ORIGINAL AND JUST LET HOW STUPID IT IS STAND. IT RULES. LIKE HE JUST BREAK DANCE FIGHTS AND THE MOVIE NEITHER TRIES TO MAKE IT ANY LESS LAME THAN IT WAS NOR PLAYS UP HOW STUPID THAT IS. IT JUST DOES IT. </p><p>PS. JESUS CHRIST, YELLOW RANGER DIED IN REAL LIFE. THE WHOLE PLOT OF THIS BEING YELLOW RANGER EXPLODING THEN SNIZZARD ATTACKING HER WEIRD 1 YEAR FUNERAL THING FEELS EXTREMELY DARK FOR A PLOT CONCEPT. </p>Capital Reviewshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01676950448402457708noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9009904482817676201.post-55579498209474020502024-03-17T21:47:00.002-04:002024-03-17T21:47:37.337-04:00Midori [anime, movie]<p> Midori [anime, movie]</p><p>THIS MOVIE ISN'T GOOD AND YOU SHOULDN'T WATCH IT, BUT LIKE, IT'S A WEIRD ADAPTATION OF A 1930S 'GHOST STORY' TYPE THING FROM JAPAN ABOUT A FREAK SHOW THAT WAS ONLY SHOWN AT FREAK SHOWS AND WAS 'TOO SHOCKING' TO RELEASE IN THE US. IT'S MOSTLY JUST POINTLESS SHOCK NONSENSE OVER BARELY MOVING PAINTINGS. </p><p>PS. THE PART THAT IS GOOD, OTHER THAN THE WHOLE THING BEING KINDA INTERESTING IS THAT IT'S A FICTIONALIZED STORY OF THE FIRST PERSON IN JAPAN TO DO WESTERN STAGE MAGIC AND I REALLY LIKE THAT YOU CAN SEE THE CONFUSED UNDERSTANDING THROUGH IT. LIKE, MAYBE THE GUY DID HAVE WIZARD POWERS, BUT MOSTLY IT WASN'T ABOUT THAT. 90% OF WHAT HE DID WAS BASED ON THE WRITER KNOWING STAGE MAGIC ISN'T REAL AND IS JUST TRICKING YOU TO THINK THINGS HAPPENED. BUT LIKE, IT'S EXTREMELY UNREASONABLE ABOUT WHAT PEOPLE ARE THINKING IS HAPPENING. SO LIKE THE MAGIC TRICK IS LIKE, THINKING YOU ARE SINKING IN SAND AND GETTING EATEN BY ANTS, THEN THE TRICK IS DONE BY HIM JUST SHOVELING ANTS IN YOUR MOUTH. </p>Capital Reviewshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01676950448402457708noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9009904482817676201.post-24968542083100876652024-03-10T20:42:00.002-04:002024-03-10T20:42:14.819-04:00Megamind vs. the Doom Syndicate [movie]<p> Megamind vs. the Doom Syndicate [movie]</p><p>I'M NOT LIKE, A HUGE FAN OF THE ORIGINAL MOVIE OR ANYTHING, BUT PEOPLE HAVE POINTED OUT THAT THERE IS LIKE 5 DIFFERENT THINGS THAT MEGAMIND IS VIRTUALLY THE ONLY MEDIA THAT DEALS WITH IT. I WATCHED THIS BECAUSE I WATCHED CAT PERSON AND BECAUSE THIS IS GETTING HYPE AS BEING SO BAD IT HAS A 0% ON METACRITIC. IT REALLY IS BAD, BUT NOT EVEN FUNNY OR INTERESTING BAD. IT'S JUST A 90 MINUTE PILOT FOR A TV SHOW WITH PAW PATROL LEVEL ANIMATION. IT WAS VERY DIRECT TO VHS QUALITY AND NOT ANYTHING. THE ONLY KINDA GOOD PART IS THE NAME 'PIERRE PRESSURE' </p><p>PS. I FELL ASLEEP FOR LIKE 30 MINUTES AND MISSED NOTHING. </p>Capital Reviewshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01676950448402457708noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9009904482817676201.post-18220166660936328572024-03-09T21:12:00.002-05:002024-03-09T21:12:36.315-05:00Cat Person [short story] + Cat Person [movie]<p> Cat Person [short story] + Cat Person [movie]</p><p>THE 2017 SHORT STORY 'CAT PERSON' IS A VERY SMALL SCALE LITTLE 3 PAGE LONG STORY OF A YOUNG WOMAN GOING ON A DATE WITH A MAN, THE MAN BEING A PATHETIC LOSER, THE WOMAN REJECTING HIM AND HIM CALLING HER A WHORE. IT'S VERY GROUNDED STORY. THE MAN IS NOT WRITTEN AS A HORRIBLE PREDATOR OR SUPER EVIL, THE WOMAN DUMPS HIM BY HAVING HER ROOM MATE WRITE A TEXT THAT IS MUCH MEANER THAN NEEDED AND HIS REACTION TO RUNNING INTO HER IS THE REALISTIC SORT OF AGGRESSIVE MEN TURN TOWARDS WOMEN WITHOUT BEING RIDICULOUS OR OVER THE TOP. </p><p>THEY MADE A MOVIE OUT OF IT. THE FIRST TWO THIRDS ARE JUST ABOUT THE SAME STORY, THEY MAKE HIM MUCH DORKIER SO HE COMES OFF AS KINDA AUTISTIC AND IT INTRODUCES A LOT OF THE CONCEPT OF HER HAVING LITTLE FAMILY GUY CUT AWAYS SHOWING HER BEING AFRAID OF HIM AS A WOMAN ALONE WITH A STRANGE MAN. THAT CHANGES IT UP SOME, BUT THAT IS AN EXTREMELY REASONABLE ADAPTATION. BUT THEN THE THIRD ACT JUST GOES ABSOLUTELY OFF THE RAILS AND SHE IS LIKE, BREAKING INTO HIS HOUSE AND THEY ARE HAVING A FIST FIGHT IN A BURNING BUILDING AND HE'S MASTERMINDED THE WHOLE THING BY PLANTING STRAY DOGS FOR HER TO FIND AND IT'S ABSOLUTELY MENTAL. ALSO I GUESS THE CATS JUST DIE. IT FEELS WEIRD THE MOVIE EVEN BOTHERED TO ESTABLISH FIRMLY THERE EVEN WAS CATS. </p><p>PS. I WATCHED AND READ THIS AFTER LISTENING TO A COMPLETE SCENE BY SCENE SUMMARY ON FLOPHOUSE, I DID THAT SO I CAN WATCH MEGAMIND 2 NEXT THEN MAKE THE JOKE THAT THIS MOVIE WAS MEGAMIND 2 AND THAT FEELS LIKE A PERCEPTIVE CLAIM THAT IS ALSO A JOKE NO ONE ON EARTH WILL GET AND IS NOT WORTH WATCHING 2 MOVIES WITH ADDITIONAL READING TO JUSTIFY MAKING. </p>Capital Reviewshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01676950448402457708noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9009904482817676201.post-22718921189645012222024-03-08T16:21:00.000-05:002024-03-08T16:21:47.730-05:00Palworld [game]<p>Palworld [game]</p><p>IT'S HILARIOUS HOW GOOD THIS GAME IS COMPARED TO WHAT YOU'D EXPECT. LIKE, YOU CAN TELL IT STARTED AS A CHEAP EDGY MEME GAME THEN WAS LIKE 'WHAT IF WE MADE THIS ACTUALLY FUN' I PLAYED 50 HOURS OBSESSIVELY AND AM UNINSTALLING THE GAME NOW BECAUSE I ENJOY IT SO MUCH I WANT TO SEE WHAT IT'S LIKE AFTER EARLY ALPHA AND DON'T WANT TO BURN MYSELF OUT. </p><p>PS. I LIKE THAT THE GUNS ONLY BARELY MATTER AND THE HAPPINESS MECHANIC MATTERS SO MUCH YOU CAN'T REALLY EVEN MISTREAT ANYTHING. </p><p><br /></p>Capital Reviewshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01676950448402457708noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9009904482817676201.post-16359589522169292512024-03-04T07:22:00.002-05:002024-03-04T07:22:34.293-05:00The Electric Kingdom [book, audiobook]<p> The Electric Kingdom [book, audiobook]</p><p>THIS IS A WEIRD ONE. IT'S A BOOK THAT STARTS WITH A REALLY FLESHED OUT PREMISE (AND EXTREMELY GRIM AND SERIOUS POST APOCOLYPTIC EMPTY WORLD) THEN STARTS LEANING TOWARDS A SECOND WAY WACKIER SECRET PREMISE, BUT THEN BY THE END THAT SECOND PREMISE IS ALSO SUPER WELL FLESHED OUT AND WELL DONE, BUT IN THE MIDDLE PARTS WHERE IT'S JUST HINTED AT IT HAS A VERY "WELL THIS IS DUMB" FEELING. EVEN IF IT ENDS UP NOT DUMB. I DON'T FEEL LIKE THIS IS A BOOK THAT IS SUPPOSED TO HAVE A SEQUEL, SO IT REALLY LEAVES A LOT OF STORY ELEMENTS AS "THAT PART DIDN'T MATTER" IN A WAY WHERE YOU TAKE THE BOOK AS A WHOLE THAT'S NOT BAD, BUT READING THE BOOK GETS FRUSTRATING AT POINTS. I FEEL LIKE THIS BOOK GOT REWRITTEN MID WAY TO BRING THE TWIST MORE IN, LIKE THE WHOLE ECHO PLOTLINE FEELS LIKE IT BELONGED IN SOME OTHER STORY. </p><p>PS. I HAVE TO ADMIT, I REALLY LIKED THE FLIES AS A CONCEPT, BUT FOR SOME REASON THE FACT THEY PICK YOU UP LIKE A CARTOON REALLY BUGGED ME. IT SEEMS LIKE SUCH SILLY IMAGERY FOR HOW OTHERWISE GROUNDED EVERYTHING IS. I FEEL LIKE THEY ESTABLISHED IT SOLELY TO SET UP A DEATH IN A WAY THAT I AM SURE IF THIS EVER GETS A MOVIE (IT SHOULD) WOULD BE LIKE, THE BIG SCENE, BUT WHEN THE DEER GOT LIFTED IT TOOK ME A WHILE TO FIGURE OUT IF THIS WAS MEANT TO BE A KIDS BOOK THAT JUST HAPPENS TO SWEAR AND STUFF. I DON'T REALLY EVEN KNOW WHY THAT ONE ELEMENT BUGGED ME SO MUCH, LIKE EVERY OTHER ASPECT OF THE FLIES WAS SO GRIM AND SERIOUS AND SAD THEN JUST "OH, ALSO A BUNCH OF BEES PICK YOU UP" JUST SEEMED SO GOOFY TO IMAGINE. ESPECIALLY WITH THE AMOUNT THEY DO FALLOUT ENVIROMENTAL STORYTELLING SKELETONS SO IT DIDN'T EVEN FIT WELL </p>Capital Reviewshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01676950448402457708noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9009904482817676201.post-89884485678134013002024-03-02T21:43:00.001-05:002024-03-02T21:43:10.920-05:00Stutz [movie, nonfiction]<p> Stutz [movie, nonfiction]</p><p>THIS MOVIE IS WEIRD BECAUSE IT'S REALLY HEARTFELT BUT NOT VERY GOOD. IT'S JONNA HILL INTERVIEWING HIS THERAPIST WHO IS DYING OF PARKINSONS DISEASE. AND THAT IS KINDA IT. THEY STYLE OF IT FELT LIKE IT WAS GOING TOWARDS SOME 'SECRETS OF THE UNIVERSE' SCIENTOLOGIST TYPE RECRUITMENT THING WITH THE THERAPY DRAWINGS, BUT THEY PRETTY MUCH STUCK TO SUPER STANDARD THERAPY CONCEPTS. </p><p>PS. THE BEST PART WAS THE TWIST JONNA HILL WAS WEARING A WIG AND IT WAS A GREEN SCREEN </p>Capital Reviewshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01676950448402457708noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9009904482817676201.post-86781562870056904632024-02-23T23:40:00.002-05:002024-02-23T23:40:40.415-05:00Bottoms [movie]<p> Bottoms [movie]</p><p>YOU NOW WHAT? IT DOESN'T MATTER IF I LIKE THIS MOVIE OR NOT. IT'S CLEARLY EXTREMELY MADE FOR A SPECIFIC DEMOGRAPHIC AND SOMEONE IN THAT DEMOGRAPHIC IS GOING TO LOVE THIS MOVIE SO MUCH AND THAT RULES. </p><p>PS. MUCH LIKE GOING TO A PUNKIE JOHNSON SHOW</p>Capital Reviewshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01676950448402457708noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9009904482817676201.post-89495370786630769902024-02-21T13:49:00.002-05:002024-02-21T13:49:34.179-05:00Trolls: Band Together [movie]<p>Trolls: Band Together [movie]</p><p>OKAY, SO WHAT ARE THE VILLIANS SUPPOSED TO BE? IT'S DRIVING ME CRAZY. THEY ANIMATE LIKE WEIRD STOP MOTION AND ARE VERY 90S, BUT *WHAT* ARE THEY. THEY FEEL LIKE SOMETHING LIKE THE ABC "AFTER THESE MESSAGES" BUMPERS BUT I DON'T THINK THAT IS QUITE IT. </p><p><br /></p><p>PS. AT AROUND 8PM I REALLY WANTED TO FALL ASLEEP BUT COULDN'T JUSTIFY IT SO I WATCHED A MOVIE I WOULDN'T MIND FALLING ASLEEP AND MISSING. </p>Capital Reviewshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01676950448402457708noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9009904482817676201.post-46866908371112359972024-02-18T19:24:00.001-05:002024-02-18T19:24:24.538-05:00Our Drawings - Princess Movie [movie, amazing]<p> Our Drawings - Princess Movie [movie, amazing]</p><p>THIS MOVIE IS ONE STEP TOO BORING TO RECOMMEND YOU NEED TO DROP EVERYTHING AND WATCH IT BUT MAN, THIS MOVIE IS SO TERRIBLE IT RULES. IT'S GOT SOME EXTREME MS MAVILDA ENERGY. YOU CAN TELL AT SOME LEVEL THEY ARE MAKING IT BAD ON PURPOSE TO BE A MEME, BUT MOSTLY IT COMES TO BEING GARBAGE HONESTLY. IT HONESTLY ALMOST FELT LIKE IT HAD THE BONES TO HAVE A REAL MESSAGE, LIKE, A META MESSAGE ABOUT ART BEING DEVALUED AND THAT IS WHY IT SUCKS SO BAD. BUT LITERALLY NOTHING THAT HAPPENS IS ANY WAY COMPREHENSIBLE SO THE MESSAGE ISN'T THAT AND ISN'T ANYTHING. </p><p>PS. "OH, BEFORE I GO, I LOST MY COOL ACCENT, IT'S CRAZY MATE, JUST CRAZY!" / "THAT'S COOL AS HELL! LET'S ALL DRINK TO THIS GLORIOUS DAY WHERE A DAMN ANIMAL CAN TALK."</p>Capital Reviewshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01676950448402457708noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9009904482817676201.post-49528416856754457482024-02-13T23:22:00.002-05:002024-02-13T23:22:21.480-05:00Strays [movie]<p> Strays [movie]</p><p>I TRIED TO CANCEL PRIME BYJUST NOT UPDATING MY CREDIT CARD THEN AMAZON CHARGED A DIFFERENT CARD THAT MADE MY DEBIT CARD DEACTIVATE. SOI WATCHED A MOVIE I KNEW ID HATE TO COMPLAIN ABOUT THAT.</p><p>PS. I FEEL LIKE THEYJUST HIRED ALL THE ACTORS FROM BIG MOUTH AND MADE THE EXACT SAME JOKES </p>Capital Reviewshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01676950448402457708noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9009904482817676201.post-62069197645453107502024-02-11T17:38:00.000-05:002024-02-11T17:38:20.609-05:00Q-in-Law [book, audiobook]<p> Q-in-Law [book, audiobook]</p><p>EVERY STAR TREK BOOK SUCKS SO MUCH AND IT RULES. THIS IS A VERY VALENTINE'S DAY APPROPRIATE STAR TREK STORY OF THE ENTERPRISE HAVING TO BE A WEDDING VENUE FOR SOME ALIENS AND Q SHOWING UP AND DATING TROI'S MOM AND LEARNING ABOUT LOVE. IT'S JUST SO INCREDIBLY STUPID IN SUCH A DELIGHTFUL WAY. IT FEELS LIKE SOMETHING THAT WOULD HAPPEN IN A REAL EPISODE IF SOMEONE DECLARED THE SHOW HAD TO BE 10 TIMES STUPIDER. </p><p>PS. I DON'T HATE AUDIOBOOKS, BUT TRY TO NOT ONLY DO AUDIOBOOKS AND READ SOME BOOKS FOR REAL. I HAVE A SECOND RULE THAT IF AN AUDIO BOOK HAS SOUND EFFECTS IT'S TOO MUCH INTO JUST BEING A RADIO DRAMA AND I CAN'T COUNT IT. THIS HAD HEAVY AUDIO DRAMA PRODUCTION. BUT JOHN DE LANCIE DOING ALL THE VOICES RULED. HE DID SUCH A GOOD JOB MAKING IT SO YOU COULD TELL WHEN HE WAS BEING PICARD WITHOUT DOING A VOICE MIMICRY. ALSO THE AUDIO BOOK IS ABRIDGED AND CUTS OUT A SUB PLOT WHERE WESTLY .... OWNS A SLAVE? AND HAS TO AS ALL THE ADULTS ON THE SHIP IF HE SHOULD OR SHOULD NOT HAVE SEX WITH HER? </p>Capital Reviewshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01676950448402457708noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9009904482817676201.post-24284013912533993642024-02-11T11:00:00.001-05:002024-02-11T11:00:41.429-05:00Hazbin Hotel: Season 1 [television] <p> Hazbin Hotel: Season 1 [television] </p><p>I DON'T NOW QUITE HOW TO DESCRIBE IT BUT THIS JUST FEELS 'OVERCOOKED'. LIKE THERE WAS AN INTERVIEW SAYING SOME CHARACTER WAS TOO MUCH LIKE THE BAD GUY FROM PRINCESS AND THE FROG AND THE CREATOR POINTED OUT THIS PREDATES THAT. LIKE THIS JUST HAS BEEN COMING OUT FOR DECADES AND STEWED IN TUMBLR FOR AS LONG AS TUMBLR EXISTED AND IT JUST FEELS LIKE EVERYTHING IS OVERDEVELOPED. LIKE IT'S NOT CONFUSING OR OVER COMPLICATED. BUT LIKE, A TETERAY CHARACTER HAVING EGG MINIONS AND THE EGGS HAVING SEPARATE PERSONALITIES DOESN'T FEEL LIKE A THING YOU WRITE UNLESS YOU HAVE BEEN WRITING A SERIES FOR LIKE 20 YEARS. BUT IT KINDA DOESN'T FEEL LIKE DEPTH AS MUCH AS IT FEELS LIKE OVERCOMPLICATION. LIKE EVERYONE HAS LIKE 30 THINGS GOING ON IN THEIR DESIGN AND WOULD HAVE BEEN MORE INTERESTING IF THEY JUST HAD ONE THING EACH. </p><p>PS. I FEEL BAD FOR THIS BECAUSE ANGEL DUST SEEMS LIKE HE WAS MEANT TO BE THE BIG EMOTIONAL MOMENT FOR THE SERIES AND IT'S JUST LIKE, "ASTERION BG DID THIS EXACT STORY A FEW MONTHS AGO BUT WAY BETTER" </p>Capital Reviewshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01676950448402457708noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9009904482817676201.post-91447131896701117362024-02-05T20:45:00.005-05:002024-02-05T20:45:45.552-05:00Project Hail Mary [book, audiobook]<p> Project Hail Mary [book, audiobook]</p><p>I FEEL LIKE I PRE-DECIDED I WASN'T GOING TO LIKE THIS BOOK. AMAZON JUST ADVERTISED IT TO ME SO HARD IT TURNED ME OFF, AND ANDY WEIR IS THE SORT OF AUTHOR WHERE I DO LIKE THEM BUT I CAN JUST TELL SOMEDAY I AM GOING TO READ ONE TOO MANY BOOKS BY HIM AND JUST GET SO ANNOYED IT TURNS ME OFF IT FOREVER. BUT NO, THIS BOOK WAS GOOD. IT DOES KINDA FEEL LIKE SEVERAL BOOKS MASHED TOGETHER, IT FEELS LIKE HE WAS WRITING A PRETTY HARD SCI-FI BOOK AND COULDN'T HANDLE KEEPING THAT UP AND WENT BACK TO I F*CKIN LOVE SCIENCE ADVENTURE STUFF (WHICH SEEMS LIKE IT LITERALLY IS WHAT HAPPENED BECAUSE THIS APPARENTLY STARTED AS A DIFFERENT BOOK) BUT I LIKED IT. </p><p>PS. I READ THIS AND WAS GOING TO MASH IT INTO WHATEVER LIBRARY CATEGORY BUT I LOVE HOW IT ENDED UP SO CLEANLY FALLING INTO "BOOK ABOUT FRIENDSHIP" WITHOUT ANY STRETCHING THE CATGORY. </p>Capital Reviewshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01676950448402457708noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9009904482817676201.post-20073470219497698402024-02-04T08:37:00.003-05:002024-02-04T08:37:29.535-05:00Necro Files 3000 [movie]<p> Necro Files 3000 [movie]</p><p>UGG, THIS HAD A LOT OF POTENTIAL FOR SOME SO BAD IT'S GOOD NONSENSE BUT IT WAS JUST SO BORING. IT IS A PUPPET BASED HORROR MOVIE WHERE "PUPPET" JUST MEANS "HOLDING A DOLL BY IT'S FEET OFF THE BOTTOM OF THE CAMERA THEN SORT OF SHAKING IT TO MAKE IT TALK" THEN ALL THE DIALOG IS AD LIBBING IN THE STYLE OF THAT THING WHERE WILL FERRAL HAD A BABY FOR A LANDLORD. IT WAS OUTRAGIOUS ENOUGH IN CONCEPT THAT COULD HAVE BEEN REALLY FUNNY, BUT IT JUST WASN'T.</p><p>PS. ALSO UGG, BEING A RAPE SKELETON IS LAME. LIKE, RAPE JOKES AREN'T FUNNY BUT IT BEING SO ABSTRACT OF WHAT DOLL SEX IS I GET THAT BEING THE THING BUT THEY HAD TO USE REALLY GROSS AUDIO THAT MADE IT NOT FUNNY AT ALL. SAME WITH THE RACIST STUFF, RACIST JOKES AREN'T GOING TO BE FUNNY BUT THEY CAN BE 'YEAH WHATEVER' IN A MOVIE LIKE THIS AND IT WAS JUST TOO MUCH</p>Capital Reviewshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01676950448402457708noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9009904482817676201.post-82659996930320835572024-01-28T20:10:00.002-05:002024-01-28T20:10:49.945-05:00Breakout 13 [game]<p> Breakout 13 [game]</p><p>WHY IS THIS GAME SO GOOD!??!? WHY IS THIS GAME EVEN GOOD AT ALL!???? IT'S A CHINESE LANGUAGE FMV ADVENTURE GAME THAT SEEMS LIKE IT COULD RUN ON A LASERDISK PLAYER. LIKE ABOUT A KID WHO IS SENT TO A SCHOOL TO TREAT HIS 'VIDEOGAME ADDICTION' THAT IS SKETCHY AND CONVERSION THERAPY-ESQ, THE WRITING GETS A LITTLE WEAK AT THE END, BUT IT'S NOT EVEN SO BAD IT'S GOOD OR SO CRAZY IT'S FUNNY OR SOMETHING, IT'S JUST SUPER ENGAGING. I THINK IT'S HARD TO THINK OF GAMES THAT MAKE THE CHOICES LIKE THIS GAME DID. SO MUCH OF THE GAME IT'S NOT LIKE, TWO HARD NO WIN CHOICES AND YOU HAVE TO DECIDE BETWEEN THEM, GREY AREA STYLE. IT'S A GAME WHERE YOU GET GOOD CHOICES AND BAD CHOICES AND SO MUCH OF THE TIME YOU HAVE TO TAKE THE BAD CHOICES AND THATS IT. YOU JUST LOSE IF YOU MAKE THE GOOD CHOICE. IT'S ALL LIKE, INVESTIGATING YOUR FRIENDS AND HAVEING TO FIND ENOUGH WRONG WITH THEM YOU CAN SEND THEM TO TORTURE BUT ON SOMETHING NOT QUITE AS BAD AS THEIR SECRET THING. IT SUCKS BUT THAT IS GREAT WRITING. I AM SHOCKED HOW ENGAGED I WAS PLAYING THIS. IT'S AMAZINGLY GOOD FOR BEING KINDA CRAP THE WHOLE WAY THROUGH. </p><p>PS. THE BEST PART OF THE GAME WAS SPITE SODA, BECAUSE LITERALLY NOTHING ELSE IN THE GAME WAS LIKE THAT AND I DON'T KNOW WHY THEY HAD SPITE SODA. (ALSO THE BEST PART OF THE GAME IS DEFEATING THE FIRST OFFICER WITH A COMPLEX INVESTIGATION THEN GETTING HIM REPLACED WITH A MUCH MORE COMPLEX AND NUANCED EVIL AND THEN YOU JUST KINDA PUNCH HER IN THE FACE AND THAT'S IT) </p>Capital Reviewshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01676950448402457708noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9009904482817676201.post-59190721719700808392024-01-27T22:40:00.003-05:002024-01-27T22:40:50.560-05:00Justice League: Crisis on Infinite Earths Part One [movie]<p> Justice League: Crisis on Infinite Earths Part One [movie]</p><p>THIS IS A BUNCH OF REALLY GOOD IDEAS FOR STORIES THAT ARE DONE JUST KINDA OKAY. </p><p>PS. I KNOW IT'S PART ONE AND PART TWO WILL BE DEALING WITH IT BUT I LIKE EVERYTHING JUST SUCKS AT THE END. I HOPE IT JUST ENDS LIKE THAT AND THEY NEVER MAKE ANOTHER. </p>Capital Reviewshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01676950448402457708noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9009904482817676201.post-69320829674018242412024-01-24T17:59:00.000-05:002024-01-24T17:59:09.946-05:00Dave the Diver [game]<p> Dave the Diver [game]</p><p>THIS IS A VERY WELL MADE GAME. I DO LIKE IT. JUST SOMETHING ABOUT THIS MADE IT THE MOST STRESSFUL GAME I'VE EVER PLAYED. IT'S A PRETTY CHILL RELAXING GAME AND I FEEL LIKE THIS ASSESSMENT IS UNIQUE TO ME BUT I FELT SO STRESSED OUT BY EVERY ASPECT. LIKE STARDEW HAS A MILLION SYSTEMS YOU HAVE TO JUGGLE BUT IT NEVER GOT TO ME BUT IN THIS I ALWAYS FELT TERRIBLE IF I WASN'T MANAGING MY FARM OR SUSHI RIGHT OR IF I WASN'T USING THE MIRROR TO RECOVER BY GOING TO THE SEA VILLAGE OVER AND OVER. I HATE THAT THIS IS A NEGETIVE REVIEW BECAUSE I FEEL LIKE I JUST AM STRESSED OUT AND PROJECTED IT ONTO THE GAME I WAS PLAYING RIGHT NOW. ALSO THERE BEING TIGERS OR SHARKS OR WHATEVER PREDATORS AS ENEMIES IN VIDEOGAMES IS NOT A THING AT ALL THAT BOTHERS ME BUT I FEEL LIKE I WAS APOLOGIZING TO THE SCREEN WHEN I HAD MY HARPOON NOT UPGRADED ENOUGH AND I HAD TO JUST KEEP SHOOTING SOMETHING OVER AND OVER AND OVER TOO MANY TIMES. LIKE IT FELT AWFUL!</p><p>PS. THE ANIMATIONS ARE *SO GOOD* AT LEAST. </p>Capital Reviewshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01676950448402457708noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9009904482817676201.post-82731810639646328622024-01-20T14:42:00.001-05:002024-01-20T14:42:18.178-05:00Resident Evil: Death Island [movie]<p> Resident Evil: Death Island [movie]</p><p>I LIKE THE FULL CIRCLE OVER 30 YEARS OF THE TRANSLATION OF RESIDENT EVIL BEING ALL FUCKED UP AND WEIRD BECAUSE THEY HAD ONE JAPANESE GUY WHO DIDN'T SPEAK ENGLISH DO IT TO THE TRANSLATION BEING ALL FUCKED UP AND WEIRD BECAUSE THEY USED SOME WEIRD TRANSLATION AI TO WRITE IT. </p><p>PS. DID GOOD AND EVIL EXIST IN DINOSAUR TIMES</p>Capital Reviewshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01676950448402457708noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9009904482817676201.post-5788063124485869692024-01-15T17:34:00.002-05:002024-01-15T17:34:21.909-05:00Poor Things [movie]<p> Poor Things [movie]</p><p>YEAH, THIS MOVIE IS GREAT. I LOVE THAT THE LOBSTER GUY CAN'T MAKE A MOVIE WHERE ANYONE TALKS RIGHT, CAN HE TALK RIGHT? I LOVE HOW MUCH AND SO ACCURATELY THIS IS "WHAT IF FRANKENSTEIN WAS A WOMAN" BUT MARY SHELLY ORIGINAL FRANKENSTEIN, NOT MOVIE FRANKENSTEIN. </p><p>PS. OKAY, SO WHY ARE CERTAIN SCENES EXACT RECREATIONS OF BIOSHOCK INFINITE SCENES? I MEAN, MY THEORY IS BIOSHOCK INFINITE WAS ALSO RECREATING EXACTLY SCENES FROM SOMETHING ELSE, BUT I DON'T KNOW *WHAT*</p>Capital Reviewshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01676950448402457708noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9009904482817676201.post-83070043188027928692024-01-14T19:49:00.002-05:002024-01-14T19:49:58.852-05:00Radio Iris [book, audiobook]<p> Radio Iris [book, audiobook]</p><p>AH. I LOVE THIS BOOK. STARTING 2024 RIGHT OFF MESSING WITH THE CATAGORIES, AS I AM COUNTING THIS AS MY BOOK WITH 2 OR MORE GENRES BUT THIS BOOK IS VERY CLEARLY IN ZERO KNOWN HUMAN CATEGORIES. IT'S LIKE A MURAKAMI BOOK IF ABSOLUTELY NOTHING HAPPENED UNTIL THE LAST FIVE PAGES. </p><p>PS. ACTUALLY I LOVE THE IDEA OF SUPER DULL GUY READING THIS WHOLE BOOK UNABLE TO REALIZE IT'S ANYTHING BUT THE MOST STRAIGHTFORWARD NOTHING BOOK IMAGINABLE. ALTHOUGH I HAVE TO ADMIT I ALSO ONLY HAVE THE BAREST IDEA WHAT THIS BOOK WAS EVEN ABOUT. </p>Capital Reviewshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01676950448402457708noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9009904482817676201.post-52764808255387426122024-01-11T11:04:00.001-05:002024-01-11T11:04:19.357-05:00Tear Along the Dotted Line [television]<p> Tear Along the Dotted Line [television]</p><p>I WATCHED THESE IN REVERSE ORDER, BUT THAT DOESN'T MATTER MUCH. YEAH, THIS ONE IS GOOD TOO. </p><p>PS. EVANGELION JOKE IN THE FIRST 10 SECONDS<br /></p>Capital Reviewshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01676950448402457708noreply@blogger.com0