Capital Reviews

 Poop Cruise [movie, nonfiction] HONESTLY THE NAME OF THIS IS BETTER THAN THIS IS. IT HAD SOME REAL REALITY SHOW STYLE EDITING I DIDN'T LIKE AND NOT REALLY A LOT HAPPENED. IT'S A VERY FUNNY NAME THOUGH.  PS. I HATED THE THREE WOMEN AT THE TABLE AND I HATED THE GUY WHO HAD A HARROWING STORY OF NOT POOPING FOR LIKE 4 DAYS

 Escape from New York [movie] THIS FELT LIKE THE TOP OF "MOVIES IT SEEMED LIKE I'D HAVE WATCHED". BOY, THIS REALLY IS THE SOURCE OF EVERY SINGLE THING HIDEO KOJIMA DOES, HUH? I KNEW THAT WAS TRUE BUT I NEVER *KNEW* HOW TRUE.  PS. I WATCHED THIS BECAUSE "THE WARRIORS" WASN'T FREE. 

 Monster Train 2 [game] GOD, I PUT 160 HOURS INTO THIS. I BEAT EVERY CHALLENGE RUN AND BEAT MAX COVENANT TITANS WITH EVERY SINGLE CLAN (BUT NOT EVERY SINGLE CLAN COMBO BECAUSE THAT'S LIKE, 185 NEAR IDENTICAL RUNS). THE ONLY REASON I'M STOPPING IS THE DEVS PUT OUT A DEVELOPMENT ROADMAP AND THERE IS MAJOR CONTENT AND DLC COMING WITHIN A YEAR.  I LIKE THIS GAME A LOT BUT IT'S WEIRD, I WILL NEVER LIST THIS AS MY FAVORITE GAME, OR ANYTHING LIKE IT. IT REALLY IS JUST THAT ROUGELIKES HOOK INTO SOME SORT OF PART OF MY BRAIN AND MAKE ME WANT TO PLAY THEM FOREVER.  PS. IT WILL BOTHER ME FOREVER THE TRAIN IS VERTICAL. THE WHOLE CONCEPT OF THE GAME IS SO SO SO CLEARLY DESIGNED AROUND TRAIN CARS,  LIKE THE WHOLE REASON IT'S A TRAIN AT ALL IS THAT. AT THE START OF THIS GAME THEY SMASH THE OLD TRAIN AND MAKE A NEW ONE, SO IT SHOULD HAVE BEEN THEIR CHANCE TO FIX IT BUT NOPE, TRAIN ENGINE AT THE TOP. I GET GRAPHICALLY WHY YOU WOULD DO THAT, BUT YOU CAN JUST MAKE IT JUST A DISPLAY THI...

 The Memory Police [book, audiobook] THIS BOOK IS ROUGH TO READ. IT'S A BOOK ABOUT FANTASTICAL POLICE RAIDS AND FANTASTICAL SCI-FI ANNE FRANK STUFF,  BUT IT'S ALSO JUST AN ABSTRACT BOOK ABOUT MEMORY AND IDENTITY AND THINGS LIKE THAT. BUT IT FEELS HARD TO READ IN THE CURRENT DAY BECAUSE LIKE, THE POLICE RAIDS STUFF FEELS MORE RELEVANT WHEN THEY ARE LIKE, SECRET AGENTS ATTACKING KOBE NINJA HOUSE DOWN THE ROAD IRL. SO IT'S LIKE "I DON'T WANT TO HEAR ABOUT THESE TYPEWRITERS AND PHILOSOPHY,  GO BACK TO THE LITERAL PLOT". IN AN UNCOMFORTABLE WAY. LIKE YOU ARE CLEARLY SUPPOSED TO CARE MORE ABOUT THE METAPHORICAL THEMES BUT LIKE, THE LITERAL PLOT IS VERY GRIPPING AND RELEVANT AND IT MAKES NOW NOT THE TIME TO READ THIS I GUESS? PS. THE MECHANISM OF FORGETTING WAS VERY CLEARLY MEANT TO BE ABSTRACT AND ILL DEFINED. THE BOOK WAS VERY DISINTERESTED IN BEING ANY SORT OF HARD SCI-FI THAT HAD D&D RULES FOR HOW THE MAGIC WORKED. BUT THERE WAS A BUNCH OF THINGS LIKE FRUIT A...

 Lost in Starlight [movie] KOREA MADE A HIGH BUDGET 'ANIME' AND DID GENERALLY A GOOD JOB. IT'S KINDA IFFY ON THE PACING AND A LITTLE GENERIC, BUT VISUALLY GOOD AND PRETTY HEARTFELT. THE KINDA THING I WILL FORGET I WATCHED BUT KOREA IS DEFINITLY GOING TO BE THE NEXT BIG THING FOR ANIMATION. PS. I HATE HER LITTLE HAIR THINGS. 

 Moon Garden [movie] EH, THIS MOVIE IS SO CLOSE TO BEING AMAZING BUT IT'S KINDA LIKE MAD GOD WHERE IT JUST HAS A BUNCH OF VISUALS AND NOT MUCH MOVIE. IT'S KINDA OVER THE GARDEN WALL PLUS "WHAT IF A BABY WENT TO SILENT HILL" BUT THERE ISN'T A TON OF WEIGHT TO IT. IT'S A LOT OF VISUAL ELEMENTS THAT YOU GET WHAT THEY ARE GOING FOR BUT JUST ARE KINDA WHATEVER. IT'S TOO BAD! IT'S A COOL LOOKING MOVIE! PS. I FEEL LIKE IF THIS WAS A NON ENGLISH LANGUAGE MOVIE I WOULD OF LOVED IT. LIKE SOMETHING TO HIDE NO ONE COULD ACT. IT'S SO SAD TOO, THE BABY ACTUALLY *COULD* ACT AND THAT IS THE HARD PART, THEN IT'S ALL DRAGGED DOWN BY ALL THE ADULTS KINDA JUST NOT BEING GOOD AT TALKING. IF THIS WAS IN SPANISH I WOULDN'T HAVE KNOWN AND IT'D HAVE BEEN GREAT.