Capital Reviews

 Fortress Sol [book, audiobook] EH, I DIDN'T HATE THIS. I USUALLY LIST STEPHEN BAXTER AS MY FAVORITE AUTHOR BUT THE SECRET IS HE DOESN'T WANT TO WRITE SCI-FI, HE WANTS TO WRITE LARGE SCALE SPECULATIVE SCIENCE ESSAYS SO ALL HIS BOOKS ARE JUST "HERE IS THE POINT OF VIEW CHARACTER, OH, NOW THEY TURNED INTO A CRYSTAL AND ARE NEXT TO A ROBOT THAT KNOWS EVERYTHING SO THEY CAN FLY AROUND FOR A TRILLION YEARS AND DESCRIBE HOW THINGS WORK". THIS BOOK CLEARLY TRIED TO BE SOME ROMEO AND JULIET LOVE STORY THING BUT IT JUST REALLY WAS WAY TOO MUDDLED AND KEPT COMING UP WITH DIFFERENT PLOTS AND THEN FIZZLING OUT AND JUST NEVER REALLY GOT ANYWHERE. LIKE, WITHOUT THE SPACE ROBOT ELEMENT THEY HAD TO KEEP LOOKING THINGS UP ON SPACE WIKIPEDIA AND THERE WAS AN INTERESTING PART FOR A WHILE WITH THAT WHERE THEY KEPT LOOKING UP EACHOTHER'S CULTURES ON WIKIPEDIA THEN THE OTHER ONE WOULD BE ALL MAD ABOUT HOW INSENSITIVE THAT WAS AND HOW YOU COULDN'T SAY THAT OUT LOUD. THEN IT STOPPED ...

 Heartbeeps [movie] ONE TIME SOMEONE DREW SOME VENN DIAGRAM CIRCLES THAT WERE LIKE "HUMAN EXPERIENCE" AND "ANDREW'S EXPERIENCE" AND THEY WERE FULLY DISCONNECTED. I WATCHED THIS MOVIE SO I COULD MAKE SOME COMMENT ABOUT HOW THIS MOVIE IS THE SAME AND OPPOSITE AS "BLIGHT OF HUMANITY" AND THAT IS *NOTHING*.  THESE ARE NOT MOVIES ANYONE HAS SEEN OR CARES ABOUT. NO ONE IS WONDERING MY OPINIONS ON THE SIMILARITY AND DIFFERENCES BETWEEN A 0% RATED AMERICAN COMEDY WITH ROBOTS AND JERRY GARCIA'S ONLY SPEAKING ROLE AND A GERMAN MOVIE ABOUT RAPE AND MURDER WHERE A DWARF POOPS IRL ON CAMERA. THERE IS NOT ONE SINGLE PERSON ON EARTH WAITING FOR SOMEONE TO WRITE SOME ESSAY CONNECTING THE TWO.  PS. THIS MOVIE IS JUST NOT GOOD. I FEEL ENTIRELY SURE THE ROBOT PROPS ALL BROKE AND THEY HAD TO TAKE OUT LIKE A THIRD OF THE MOVIE. IT ENDS SO ABRUPTLY. 

 Blight of Humanity  [movie] I DON'T KNOW, THIS IS VERY LIKELY THE MOVIE WITH THE MOST EXPLICIT/GRAPHIC SHOCK STUFF I'VE EVER SEEN. THE PREMISE IS PRETTY LITERALLY JUST FILM ON THE MOST NICE DAY OF SUMMER THEN HAVE HORRIBLE STUFF.  I KIND OF HATE HOW IT ENDED. FOR LIKE 95% IT WAS ACTUALLY EARNING IT'S HORRIBLE STUFF WITH A PRETTY STRONG ARTISTIC MESSAGE. AS LONG AS THE DAD/DOCTOR/GOD/PROFESSOR GUY WAS DOING EVERYTHING THROUGH A "LOOK AT HIM GO", "WHY ARE YOU BEING SO DISRUPTIFUL", "YOU KNOW YOU CAN'T ALWAYS HAVE IT YOUR WAY" LENS IT WAS REALLY WORKING AS MEANING *SOMETHING* EVEN IF THAT WAS STILL ABSTRACT. AS SOON AS HE WAS HELPING/REACTING IT MADE IT JUST WAY MORE A DIRECT GROSS OUT FILM THAT SUCKS. I GUESS YOU COULD SAY SOME JESUS ALLEGORY? EH, MEH. PS. THIS HAD A BUNCH OF REAL ANIMAL DEATH. THAT SUCKS. I HATED THAT MORE THAN THE STUFF WITH THE ACTORS. THEY HIT A SALIMANDER WITH A STICK AND HIT A CRICKET WITH A DIFFERENT CRICKET AND THAT ...

 Cyberpunk 2077 [game] I HAVE A BAD HABIT OF PLAYING GAMES TOO EARLY, IN THIS ONE THE GAME LAUNCHED BAD THEN THEY PATCHED IT UNTIL IT WAS A COMPLETELY DIFFERENT GAME THEN PATCHED IT MORE TO JUST GO "JUST LET THEM DO COOL CRAP" THEN I PLAYED IT AND YEAH, IT'S EASY AS HECK, EVEN ON "HARD" BUT THATS FINE. IT'S PRETTY GOOD. ALSO THE GAME CRASHED AT THE END CREDITS AND I AM GOING TO ACCEPT THAT AS THE TRUE ENDING.  PS. I AM OBSESSED WITH HOW THIS DID DATING. MOST GAMES DO THE 'PLAYER SEXUAL' THING WHERE YOU CAN DATE EVERYONE NO MATTER WHAT EVEN IF IT DOESN'T MAKE SENSE (STRAIGHT ASTARION). THIS GAME DIDN'T DO THAT AND GAVE EVERYONE VERY STRICT REQUIREMENTS. BUT THE GAME GAVE A LOT OF GENDER OPTIONS.  SO THE MORE YOU THINK ABOUT WHO SOMEONE WILL OR WILL NOT DATE THE MORE COMPLICATED IT GETS. I KINDA LIKE THE IDEA IT'S JUST A FUTURE CYBERPUNK THING.  

 The Electric State [movie] I DON'T KNOW. THIS MOVIE IS PERFECTLY FINE BUT I THINK I HATE IT. THEY GOT AN INTERNET ARTIST THAT DOES AMAZING ARTWORK AND THEY ACTUALLY ACTUALLY DID A REALLY GOOD JOB TRANSLATING HIS IMAGES TO FILM. LIKE THEY DID THAT ALL RIGHT! THEN THEY MADE A GENERIC QUIPPY "ERM, THAT JUST HAPPENED" MOVIE OUT OF IT AND I THINK I HATE THAT SO MUCH. LIKE IT WOULD HAVE BEEN A TOTALLY FINE B+ OF A MOVIE IF THEY JUST HIRED THE GUY AND SAID "DESIGN US SOME ROBOTS AND STUFF" BUT THE FACT IT WAS A DIRECT ADAPTATION OF LIKE A SOMBER AND WEIGHTY SET OF MELANCHOLIC PICTURES AND TURNS IT INTO A "UHH, DID YOU SAY YOU LOVED ME? LAME" DEATH SCENE MOVIE JUST SUCKS. I HATE IT.  PS. YOU WOULD THINK I WOULD HATE THE WEIRD EXTREME PRODUCT PLACEMENT IN THIS AS A BIG SELL OUT MOVIE THAT SUCKS, BUT NOPE. I FEEL LIKE THAT ACTUALLY FIT WITH THE ORIGINAL MORE THAN MOST OF THE STUFF IN THIS. MR PEANUT *SHOULD* BE THE LEADER OF ROBOT CIVILIZATION AND SIGN A TREATY...

 Baby Invasion [movie] MEH? THIS WAS KINDA JUST NOTHING. IT WAS BASICALLY A MUSIC VIDEO BUT THE MUSIC WAS ALL VERY BORING SO IT BASICALLY WASN'T THAT EITHER. IT WAS BASICALLY "THE GUY WHO MADE THIS LEARNED HOW TO 3D TRACK A GOPRO" AND HAD THE RELATIVELY OKAY IDEA OF "WHAT IF A BUNCH OF CRIMINALS BUT THEY HAD VR BABY HEADS. " BUT THEN JUST RENTED AN AIRBNB MANSION AS A SET AND WERE SO CLEARLY NOT ALLOWED TO TOUCH OR BREAK ANYTHING. SO IT'S JUST AN HOUR AND A HALF OF THEM VAUGELY WALKING AROUND AND ALL THE KILLING HAPPENING OFF SCREEN SO ANY FAKE BLOOD ON THE 'CORPSES' COULD MAKE SURE EVERYONE WAS LAYING ON A LARGE TOWEL AND NOT DIRECTLY ON THE EXPENSIVE FLOOR. MEH! PS. THE ONLY GOOD PART, AND MAYBE WHAT THE ACTUAL MOVIE ACTUALLY WAS WAS THE "TWITCH CHAT". THERE WAS A BUNCH THAT WAS CLEARLY JUST CYCLING RANDOMLY GENERATED MAD LIBS OF THE SAME FEW PHRASES BUT THERE WAS DEFINITELY SOME POINT THEY LET SOME GROUP OF PEOPLE WATCH THIS MOVIE AND JU...