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Showing posts from February, 2020

Neil Patrick Harris: Choose Your Own Autobiography [book,nonfiction]

Neil Patrick Harris: Choose Your Own Autobiography [book,nonfiction] I DON'T KNOW, DID I FINISH THIS BOOK OR NOT? IT'S A CHOOSE YOUR OWN ADVENTURE BOOK, SO LIKE I READ THROUGH IT THREE OR FOUR TIMES TO THE END AND STABBED AROUND RANDOM PAGES A BUNCH BUT KINDA ONLY PROBABLY SAW ABOUT A THIRD OF THE BOOK. LIKE SO MANY STORIES LOOP OR REPEAT. IT FELT LIKE EVEN WHEN I OPENED IT TO A RANDOM PAGE AND STARTED FROM THERE I WOULD RAPIDLY END UP BACK AT THE MAGIC TRICK OR THE DELI ENDING. I FEEL LIKE THERE ARE WEBSITES THAT DISSECT THE MATHEMATICAL COMPLEXITY OF HOW CLEVERLY OLD CYOA BOOKS WERE AND HOW MUCH SOMEONE THOUGHT OUT THEIR CONSTRUCTION, AND THIS ONE TRIED TO WING IT AND JUST MADE IT HARD TO READ. PS. I FEEL LIKE I ONLY REVIEWED THE CYOA PART OF THIS, BUT LIKE, EH? THE ACTUAL TEXT WAS FINE. I LIKE NEIL PATRICK HARRIS AND I LIKE THAT HE MADE A CHOOSE YOUR OWN ADVENTURE BOOK, BUT IT'S KINDA NOT GREAT AS ONE OF THOSE.

I Think You Should Leave [television]

I Think You Should Leave [television] I FEEL LIKE 90% OF THESE SKETCHES ARE LIKE, AN ANXIETY AN ALIEN HAD THEN MADE A SKETCH ABOUT. PS. I WATCHED THIS SOLELY BECAUSE NORTHERN LION DID A VIDEO RATING THE SKETCHES AND SAID "JUST WATCH THE SHOW, THERE IS ONLY SIX EPISODES AND THEY ARE LIKE 12 MINUTES LONG" AND THAT SOUNDED LIKE A GOOD IDEA.

The Car: Road to Revenge [movie]

The Car: Road to Revenge [movie] MAN, WHAT A LETDOWN. EVERY SINGLE ELEMENT OF THIS MOVIE SETS IT UP TO BE AMAZING. IT HAS A REAL DEATH RACE 2000 FEEL TO A LOT OF THE CONCEPTS. LIKE IT'S A CAR THAT DOWNLOADED A GHOST FIGHTING A BUNCH OF CYBERGOTHS THAT LOOK LIKE THE CROW BUT HAVE DRILLS FOR HANDS AND CYBER MOUTHS AND STUFF, BUT IT'S SO GOD DAMN BORING. I FOUND THIS MOVIE UTTERLY UNWATCHABLE. IT IS JUST DULL AS HECK, SOMEHOW EVEN WHEN IT'S A GHOST COMPUTER CAR CRUSHING A GOTH IN A TOP HAT. PS. I WATCHED THIS MOVIE LIKE A WEEK AGO BUT IT WAS TOO BORING TO EVEN REMEMBER WHAT IT WAS CALLED AND IT WAS TOO BORING TO LOOK UP WHAT IT WAS CALLED SO I COULDN'T WRITE A REVIEW FOR A LONG TIME.

Sal and Gabi Break the Universe [book]

Sal and Gabi Break the Universe [book] THIS BOOK IS REALLY WEIRD. IT IS VERY CLEARLY A WRINKLE IN TIME INSPIRED BOOK AND IT'S ACTUALLY STRANGE HOW LITTLE YA FICTION GOES FOR THAT. IT DID AN OKAY JOB, OTHER THAN THE FACT THIS IS CLEARLY A SERIES SO KINDA NOTHING MUCH RESOLVED BY THE END OF IT. I FEEL LIKE I MISSED SOMETHING WITH WHAT WAS GOING ON WITH GABI'S FAMILY. SHE HAD SOME SORT OF HOLLYHOCK MCQUACK THING GOING ON WHERE SHE HAD LIKE EIGHT DADS AND I CAN'T TELL IF THAT WAS JUST MEANT TO BE SOME FANTASTICAL NONSENSE SITUATION OR WHAT?  I DON'T FEEL LIKE I HAVE ANYTHING AGAINST SOMEONE HAVING LIKE EIGHT DADS, BUT IT WAS SUCH A WEIRD STORY ELEMENT. PS. I DON'T CONDONE BULLYING BUT GOOD LORD SAL IS THE WORST. I THINK HE WAS WRITTEN TO BE SOME SORT OF ENDER WIGGINS THAT IS SPECIAL AND GOOD AT EVERYTHING BUT HE SEEMS LIKE THE MOST MILHOUSE PERSON IMAGINABLE.  HE CALLED GIRLS "M'LADY", ONLY WORE CARGO PANTS AND KEPT MAGIC TRICKS IN HIS HAIR.

Sonic the Hedgehog [movie]

Sonic the Hedgehog [movie] THIS MOVIE DIDN'T HAVE A TON TO IT BUT HONESTLY IT WAS PRETTY GOOD. LIKE, SONIC WAS REALLY ANNOYING BUT IT HAD ENOUGH PARTS THAT WERE GOOD AND HAD LIKE, HIM SAYING "GOTTA GO FAST", EATING CHILI DOGS, KNUCKLES, EGGMAN, AND BAD FANART SO IT HAD PRETTY MUCH ALL IT NEEDED TO HAVE AND WASN'T REALLY THE DISASTER IT SEEMED LIKE IT WOULD BE. PS. WHY WAS SONIC'S MOM AN OWL AND WHY DID THEY SHOW SONIC'S GROSS FEET IN CLOSEUP SO MANY TIMES? ONLY ONE OF THOSE TWO THINGS IS SONIC CANON.

The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up [book, nonfiction]

The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up [book, nonfiction] THIS IS A BOOK TO LEARN A SKILL AND ALSO ANOTHER SHOT AT A BETTER BOOK BY A JAPANESE AUTHOR. THE WHOLE DEAL OF THIS WHOLE THING IS PRETTY WELL KNOWN BY NOW BUT THIS BOOK IS STILL ACTUALLY DECENT. I LIKE HOW WELL IT PREEMPTS THE OBVIOUS OBJECTIONS AND WORKAROUNDS EVERYONE WOULD THINK UP HEARING IT'S IDEAS. ALSO I VERY MUCH LIKE THAT I CAN USE READING THIS BOOK AS AN EXCUSE TO JUST THROW ALL THE BAGS OF CLOTHING, CHRISTMAS PRESENTS I GOT LIKE 14 YEARS AGO AND RANDOM BROKEN COMPUTER STUFF I MIGHT BE ABLE TO FIX DIRECTLY IN A DUMPSTER. LIKE THROWING OUT JUST SOME STUFF IS ABSOLUTELY NOT WHAT THIS BOOK SAYS BUT NO ONE CAN GIVE ME GUFF FOR THROWING A BUNCH OF RATTY OLD CLOTHES OUT THAT I'VE HAD SITTING WAITING FOR LIKE 3 YEARS PLANNING TO EVENTUALLY SORT AND DONATE IF I SAY I DID IT BECAUSE OF THE BOOK. PS. I LIKE HOW SOME OF THE MORE WACKY PARTS OF THIS ARE JUST SPIRITUAL IDEAS FROM ANOTHER CULTURE AND SOME OF THEM ARE MAR...

Harley Quinn: Birds of Prey [movie]

Harley Quinn: Birds of Prey [movie] HUH, THIS MOVIE REALLY IS WEIRD. IT FEELS LIKE A WELL MADE MOVIE THAT IS ENTIRELY NOT FOR ME. LIKE I SAY THIS VERY GENUINELY AND WITH NO MALICE, BUT THIS MOVIE SEEMS LIKE IT'S GOING TO BE BELOVED, BUT ONLY BY LIKE 6 PEOPLE AND THOSE SIX PEOPLE ARE GOING TO BE VERY GAY WOMEN WHO ARE ON A ROLLER DERBY TEAM AND ALSO READ TANK GIRL A LOT. PS. I MEAN LIKE 99.99% OF SUPERHERO MOVIES ARE TARGETED EXACTLY AT MY DEMOGRAPHIC SO IT'S NOT BAD OR ANYTHING FOR ONE TO NOT BE. IT'S JUST HILARIOUS HOW SPECIFIC THIS ONE IS TARGETED. LIKE IT DOESN'T EVEN SEEM LIKE A MOVIE TARGETED BROADLY AT WOMEN LIKE WONDER WOMAN OR SOMETHING, IT FEELS LIKE THERE IS ONE SPECIFIC WOMAN SOMEWHERE THAT IS GOING TO BE LIKE "YES, THIS IS MY MOVIE AND MY MOVIE ALONE"

#cats_the_mewvie [movie, nonfiction]

 #cats_the_mewvie [movie, nonfiction] THIS ISN'T ANYTHING I'D CALL 'HARD HITTING JOURNALISM' BUT I LIKE THEY ACTUALLY TRIED SOME ACTUAL ANALYSIS ON STUFF. THEY MADE A PRETTY GOOD POINT ABOUT THE TIMELINE OF PROGRESSION FROM RANDOM CAT RELATED STUFF BEING THE MEME LIKE LOLCATS, TO INCIDENTALLY FAMOUS CATS LIKE LONGCAT, TO INTENTIONALLY MARKETED BRANDS EVENTUALLY TAKING OVER. I ALSO LIKED THE OBSERVATION THAT DOGS ARE A SOCIAL ACTIVITY ALREADY, THAT DOG PEOPLE ALREADY WERE GOING ON AND HAVING THEIR DOGS MEET AND HANG OUT, AND THAT BEING THE THEORY WHY CATS (A SOLITARY HOBBY) GOT SO BIG ONLINE. PS. I LIKE THIS TOLD ME THE NAME OF ALL THE STUPID INSTAGRAM CATS I SEE RANDOMLY ENOUGH TO KNOW THEY ARE INSTAGRAM CATS BUT NOT ENOUGH TO KNOW WHERE FROM. LIKE THAT ONE BENGAL CAT THAT IS ON CANOES IS NAMED SUKI. THE WEIRD 'IS IT A CAT OR DOG' CAT IS A CAT AND ALSO I FORGET IT'S NAME ALREADY SO THERE GOES THAT.

The Good Place [television]

The Good Place [television] THIS IS A GOOD SHOW, I REALLY LIKE IT. I KNEW FROM WAY BACK I LIKED THIS SHOW BUT REFUSED TO REALLY START IT UNTIL IT WAS OVER TO MAKE SURE IT DIDN'T GO BAD. THIS IS SO IMMATURE SOUNDING, BUT IT'S SO WEIRD HOW FEW 'ADULT' SHOWS ARE LIKE THIS. LIKE IN SOME WEIRD WAY IN THE LAST 10 YEARS ANIMATION PULLED AHEAD OF ADULT TELEVISION IN STORY TELLING. LIKE YEAH, GAME OF THRONES OR WALKING DEAD OR WHATEVER HAS LIKE BOOBS AND BLOOD SO IT'S MORE 'MATURE' BUT IT'S WEIRD HOW FEW PRIME TIME SHOWS HAVE LIKE, THEMES AND ALLEGORY AND MESSAGES AND STUFF. COMPARED TO THERE BEING LIKE 30 ANIMATED SHOWS AT ANY TIME THAT MANAGE THAT, EVEN STUFF LIKE STAR AND THE FORCES OF EVIL WHERE YOU CAN TELL THEY STUMBLED ACCIDENTLY INTO IT. I THINK IT MUST BE BECAUSE KIDS SHOWS WERE EXPECTED TO HAVE MESSAGES. SO THAT DID A WEIRD MUTATION WHERE WHEN SHOWS ALL GOT MORE SERIALIZED IN THE LAST DECADE BECAUSE OF STREAMING THAT KIDS CARTOONS TURNED "A MESSA...

If Cats Disappeared from the World [book]

If Cats Disappeared from the World [book] I DON'T KNOW, THIS JUST WASN'T AS GOOD AS I HOPED. IT FELT LIKE IT HAD A HANDFUL OF PAGES THAT WERE SUPER WELL WRITTEN THEN A LOT OF FILLER. IT FEELS LIKE A BUNCH OF THE MAJOR PLOT STUFF JUST DIDN'T GO ANYWHERE. LIKE WHAT IF MOVIES DISAPPEARED? THIS WASN'T TRYING TO MAKE SCI-FI WORLD BUILDING BUT IT FEELS LIKE IT DIDN'T EVEN TRY TO WRITE ANYTHING THEMATICALLY. LIKE IF CLOCKS DISAPPEARED IT TALKED ABOUT HOW ANIMALS DON'T LIVE BY CLOCKS AND THAT FELT LIKE EFFORT, BUT MOVIES FELT LIKE NOTHING. AND A LOT OF THIS FELT LIKE THAT. LIKE MOST OF THE PAGES WERE JUST PADDING BETWEEN THE ACTUAL PAGES WITH THE EMOTIONAL WEIGHT. WHICH, TO BE FAIR, IT DID DO A GOOD JOB WRITING THE EMOTIONAL PARTS AS SAD AND EMOTIONAL. AMAZON SHOWS WHEN PEOPLE HIGHLIGHT TEXT A LOT AND THIS HAD A LOTS AND LOTS OF UNDERLINES FROM THAT. PS. I WAS SUPER EXCITED BY THE "JAPANESE AUTHOR" CATEGORY, MORE THAN ANY OTHER CATEGORY, I ALREADY READ A M...

Severance [book]

Severance [book] THIS IS THE AUTHOR'S FIRST NOVEL AND LIKE, I CAN NOT WAIT FOR THEIR LIKE, FOURTH NOVEL. MOST OF THIS BOOK IS LIKE, SUPER GOOD, WITH LIKE TIGHTLY KNIT THEMES THAT REFLECT OFF EVERY ONE OF THE DIFFERENT ASPECTS OF THE STORY. THEN LIKE, IT FEELS LIKE THE AUTHOR WATCHED EPISODES OF WALKING DEAD WHILE THEY WROTE THIS AND JUST JAMMED THAT IN. LIKE IT FEELS LIKE THE NY-GHOST BLOG WAS PRETTY CLEARLY SUPPOSED TO BE THE FRAMING STORY, BUT INSTEAD IT'S A REAL NOTHING POST APOCALYPSE THING. LIKE EVERYTHING TIES TOGETHER TO BE ABOUT ROUTINE: KEEPING A JOB AFTER EVERYONE IS GONE, A DISEASE THAT CAUSES REPEATING ACTION, A GRANDMA WITH ALZHEIMER'S THAT MAKES HER REPEAT LONG AGO STUFF, PARENTS THAT CHANGE OR DO NOT CHANGE AFTER LOSING THEIR OLD WAYS. THEN IT'S LIKE JUST THIS OTHER STORY ABOUT BOB THAT GOES NO WHERE AND BARELY RELATES AT ALL. PS. ALSO THE SURVIVORS CULT BEFORE EVERY RAID SINGS A PRAYER TO THE TUNE OF 'NEW SLANG' BY THE SHINS AND THAT IS THE W...

Hand of Fate 2 [game]

Hand of Fate 2 [game] MAN, THIS GAME IS NEAT. IT'S SUCH A GOOD IDEA FOR A GAME. IT'S LIKE A COLLECTABLE CARD GAME WHERE YOU PLAY A SERIES OF PRETTY DIFFERENT BOARD GAMES AND THE SQUARES ARE THE CARDS YOU PICK, AND THEN IT'S ALSO AN ACTION GAME WHERE YOU BATMAN COMBAT STUFF. IT'S SUCH A BIG IDEA FOR A GAME, IT'S SUCH A *GOOD* IDEA FOR A GAME. ACTUALLY PLAYING IT? IT'S FINE. IT'S OKAY. I LIKE IT WELL ENOUGH BUT A LOT OF IT IS TEDIOUS. LIKE EVERY TIME YOU FIGHT AN OGRE YOU CAN 100% PERFECT IT BY HITTING "STUN/ATTACK/STUN/ATTACK/STUN/ETC" UNTIL IT DIES BUT LITERALLY EVERY TIME I GOT BORED AND WOULD TRY TO ATTACK TWICE SOMETIMES AND GET HIT. PS. I REALLY LIKE ANY GAME WITH A NARRATOR BASICALLY AUTOMATICALLY.

Momix [amazing]

Momix [amazing] MAN THIS WAS GOOD. THIS WAS LIKE, A PROP BASED DANCE SHOW. LIKE EVERY SEGMENT WAS A DIFFERENT PROP OR LIGHTING TRICK OR COSTUME OR SOMETHING AND THEN BALLET DANCERS JUST, DID THESE EXTREMELY MESMERIZING DANCES. IF THE GUY IN FRONT OF US AND THE OLD LADIES BEHIND US COULD BE QUIET FOR A MINUTE SOME OF THESE WERE LIKE, DAZZLING TO LIKE NEAR RELIGIOUS EXPERIENCE LEVELS. LIKE ONE WOULD BE THEM USING A BUNCH OF ROLLS OF WRAPPING PAPER WHILE A PROJECTOR PROJECTED UNREADABLE VAGUE TEXT ONTO EVERYTHING,  OR LIKE ONE WHERE SOMEONE HAD A BODY COVERING VEIL MADE OF THIN CORDS THAT THEY THEN SPUN RAPIDLY TILL THE IT LIFTED UP, OR LIKE, ONE JUST THEIR ARMS HAD REFLECTIVE BLUE STUFF ON IT AND THEY WERE FLOATING BIRDS AND MOUTHS AND STUFF SUSPENDED IN THE AIR.  SERIOUSLY, THIS WAS REALLY REALLY GOOD. PS. THERE WAS ALSO ONE WHERE THE PEOPLE WERE COWBOYS AND THEY HAD ONE REGULAR LEG AND ONE BIG LEG, AND I LOVE THAT BECAUSE IT WASN'T EVEN A GOOD SEGMENT AND THE VERY CONCEPT ...

Remnant Population [book]

Remnant Population [book] I THINK IT'D BE EASY TO USE SCI-FI TO CHEAT THE "PROTAGONIST OVER 60' CATEGORY BY READING ABOUT A 1200 YEAR OLD VAMPIRE OR WHATEVER,  BUT THIS IS ABOUT JUST A VERY ELDERLY GRANDMA AND I LIKE THAT PART AND THINK IT'S WRITTEN WELL.  I THINK THIS HAS THE WALL-E PROBLEM WHERE THE BEST PART OF THE WHOLE BOOK IS FIRST PART WHERE SHE'S JUST WALKING AROUND GARDENING AND SLEEPING IN OTHER PEOPLE'S HOUSES AND STUFF, THE ALIENS SHOWING UP IS FINE, THEN THE PEOPLE SHOWING UP IS JUST A BUNCH OF NEW UNINTERESTING CHARACTERS. PS. I LIKE THAT IT'S LIKE A DAY AND A HALF ALONE AND SHE'S LIKE 'SCREW CLOTHES, I'M GONNA WEAR A WEIRD NET" AND ALSO WHY WAS THERE A SCENE THE ALIEN SHOWED HER IT'S BUTTHOLE? WHAT WAS THAT FOR?