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Showing posts from August, 2017

Death Note [movie]

OH GEEZ THIS WAS BAD. NOT JEM AND THE HOLOGRAMS BAD BUT UP THERE. PRETTY MUCH ONLY THE END SEQUENCE WAS ANYTHING LIKE WHAT MADE THE ORIGINAL INTERESTING AND EVEN THAT HAD TO HAVE AN AIRSUPPLY SONG PLAYING TO MAKE SURE YOU KNEW HOW AMERICAN THE MOVIE WAS.   PS. I FEEL LIKE SOMEONE LITERALLY HAD THE CONVERSATION "IF WE MAKE L BLACK WE CAN'T GET ACCUSED OF WHITEWASHING!". BUT AT LEAST L WAS THE BEST ACTED CHARACTER IN THIS MESS AND I LOVE THEY TRIED TO MAKE HIM DO THE ASIAN SQUAT IN A BUNCH OF SCENES BUT HE ALWAYS HAD TO LEAN HIS BACK AGAINST STUFF.

Doom [game]

OH GEEZ, I WANTED TO PLAY THIS GAME AS LIKE, A MORE DEMANDING GAME TO PLAY WITH MY NEW COMPUTER. I AM SO CONFLICTED. IT FEELS LIKE GOING TO A FINE RESTAURANT AND ORDERING A BUNCH OF FOOD I HATE. EVERY ASPECT OF THIS GAME IS SO SO SO GOOD. I CAN APPRECIATE HOW WELL MADE THIS AMAZING GAME IS, BUT AN FPS GAME IS SO NOT MY CUP OF TEA. SO I KINDA HATED PLAYING IT? BUT EVERYTHING ABOUT IT IS SO EXTREMELY WELL DONE? SO IT TOOK A MONTH TO BEAT A 10 HOUR GAME BUT EVERY SINGLE DETAIL IS SOMETHING I COULD APPRECIATE WITHOUT ACTUALLY HAVING FUN WITH?   PS. I LOVE THE CHARACTERIZATION THEY GAVE TO THE DOOM GUY.

The Bomb [movie, nonfiction]

THIS ISNT *REALLY* A DOCUMENTARY, ITS REALLY JUST A BUNCH OF MUSIC VIDEOS FOR THE BAND THE ACID. ITS PRETTY GOOD THOUGH ANYWAY.     PS. THE LAST ONE IS ABOUT THE SUN, THEY DIDNT EVEN BOTGER TO KEEP TGE WHOLE THING ON TOPIC.

Batman and Harley Quinn [movie]

THIS MOVIE WAS WEIRD BECAUSE IT WAS ACTUALLY A SUPER WACKY COMEDY THAT WAS ACTUALLY PRETTY FUNNY BUT IT DIDNT MENTION THAT FACT VERY OFTEN SO IT WAS ALMOST POSSIBLE TO NOT NOTICE IT WAS WACKY. ALSO QUINN RAPED NIGHTWING AND FARTED A BUNCH.       PS. I LIKE THAT IVY DID HER ENVIRONMENTAL RANT AND MENTIONED TAKERS AND HOW THAT IS TOTALLY A CALL ME ISHMAEL THING BECAUSE SHE TOTALLY WOULD HAVE READ THAT.

Teen Titans: The Judas Contract [movie]

THIS FELT ALL OVER THE PLACE. LIKE DAMEON IS ROBIN BUT STARFIRE IS A GROSS SEX LADY BUT BLUE BEETLE IS THERE BUT BEAST BOY IS LIKE 10 AND CLEARLY CAN'T BE CALLED BEAST BOY FOR SOME LICENCING REASON. ALSO THERE IS A MILLION SIDE PLOTS THAT AREN'T FROM THE ORIGINAL STORY BUT ALSO DON'T REALLY TIE INTO ANYTHING ELSE SO IT SEEMS LIKE THIS IS A MOVIE FROM AN ONGOING SERIES BUT IT ISN'T.   PS. OTHER THINGS TRIED TO REMAKE THE CREEPINESS OF THIS WHOLE STORY BY MAKING TERRA SEEM OLDER, BUT THIS ONE MAKES HER SEEM LIKE 8 AND MAKING SLADE NOT INTO IT BUT MAKING HER THE AGGRESSOR? IT'S REALLY GROSS. I CAN'T REALLY TELL IF THAT MAKES IT BETTER OR WORSE.

Steven Universe: Soundtrack Attack [game]

ITS WEIRD BECAUSE THEY MADE IT REAL HARD BUT THEN MADE THE SCORING SO LOOSE YOU ALWAYS GOT TOP SCORE ANYWAY. WHICH IS THE MOST FRUSTRATING WAY TO BALENCE.   PS. SOMEONE DIDNT UNDERSTAND LEVEL PROGRESSION, THEY ALWAYS MADE THE SECOND TO LAST SONG TGE REAL ONE THEN JUST HAVE ONE MORE NOTHING ONE.

Emoji Movie [movie]

I WATCHED A CAM RIP COOY OF THIS MOVIE HOPING ITD BE FUNNY BAD BUT IT WAS JUST REGULAR BAD. IT KINDA JUST LISTED VARIOUS APPS THAT EXIST AND THAT WAS IT.   PS. IS "JUST DANCE" EVEN A APP?

The intern [movie]

WHAT IF INSTEAD OF MILLENNIAL WOMEN RUNNING COMPANIES THEY GOT SEVENTY YEAR OLD BUSINESS MEN. WOULDN'T THAT BE A WACKY FLIP, FISH OUT OF WATER? NO? NOT AT ALL? PS. ALSO WEIRD MIXED MESSAGES ABOUT CHEATING ON YOUR WIFE

The Dark Tower [movie]

THIS WAS A REAL THREE OUT OF FIVE STAR MOVIE. IT WAS KINDA JUST NOTHING. I WOULD FEEL BETTER IF IT WAS ACTUALLY BAD. IT WAS LIKE A PERCY JACKSON MOVIE I WONT REMEMBER IN FIVE YEARS. ITS NOT EVEN BAD, ITS NOT EVEN GOOD. IT WAS NOTHING AT ALL.     PS. THE BEST PART IS THAT THEY REPLACED OY WITH A COMMERCIAL FOR CAR INSURANCE.