Capital Reviews

 Dear Leader [book, audiobook, nonfiction] THIS IS A BOOK BY A MAN WHO ESCAPED NORTH KOREA. HE HAD THE VERY FUNNY JOB OF PRETENDING TO BE SOUTH KOREAN AND WRITING 'SOUTH KOREAN' POEMS ABOUT HOW GREAT NORTH KOREA IS TO 'LEAK' TO NORTH KOREANS. HE GOT NAMED THE POET LAUREATE OF NORTH KOREA WHEN EVERY COUNTRY SUBMITTED A POEM FOR THE OLYMPICS AND HE GOT TO BE NORTH KOREA'S POET.  THE BOOK IS REALLY GOOD. HE'S A GOOD WRITER. PARTS FELT VAGUELY MADE UP. BUT THAT FEELS UNDERSTANDABLE. PS. OKAY, SO I SPUN ALL YEAR ON THE 'POET LAUREATE' CATEGORY STARTING AND DROPPING LIKE 4 DIFFERENT BOOKS AND I HAVE THE MOST PRETENTIOUS CLAIM I'VE EVER MADE IN MY ENTIRE LIFE: A POET LAUREATE INHERENTLY CAN NOT BE A GOOD POET.  AN ARTS PROGRAM THAT BROADLY FUNDS POETS CAN CREATE GOOD POETRY BUT I THINK A DIRECTLY HIRED BY THE GOVERNMENT POET JUST CAN NOT BE A GOOD POET.   LIKE, IN MY EXTREMELY BAD TAKE HIPSTER MIND THE USE OF A POEM IS EITHER AS A THING FOR SOMEONE SO MARGI

 Doctor Who: The Star Beast [television] I DO THINK DONNA NOBLE GOT POSSIBLY THE ABSOLUTE WORST ENDING OF ANY CHARACTER EVER IN ANYTHING EVER, I DON'T KNOW IF RESOLVING IT IS THE GRAVITY WORTH TO BE THE 60 YEAR ANNIVERSARY BUT IT'S GOOD ENOUGH. I ABSOLUTELY LOVE HOW MUCH THE MEEP SUCKED AND THE EXTREME OLD SCHOOL DOCTOR WHO BACKSTORY OF A PSYCHEDELIC SUN.  PS. OH GOD, THE "NONBINARY" THING IS HILARIOUS. NOT THE CHARACTER BEING TRANSGENDER, THAT PART IS GOOD. THE PART WHERE HER MIND GETTING ERASED WAS HER JUST SAYING THE WORD "BINARY" A BUNCH OF TIMES THEN 13 YEARS LATER THEY ARE LIKE 'AH, NONBINARY" LIKE THAT WAS INVOLVED IN THE THE CURE SOMEHOW. IT DOESN'T EVEN MAKE SENSE IN UNIVERSE IN A SCI-FI WAY AND IT DOESN'T MAKE SENSE TO CALL A DEFINITELY TRANSGENDER CHARACTER NONBINARY!  I JUST WONDER WHAT POINT IN THE WRITING THEY THOUGHT OF THAT TWIST. IT FEELS LIKE A LINE SOMEONE THOUGHT THEY WERE SUPER CLEVER ABOUT. 

 Hunt For The Skinwalker [book, audiobook, nonfiction(?)] AS A LITTLE KID CONSPIRACY, CRYPTID, ALIEN, AND JUST GENERAL FAKE WOO SCIENCE STUFF WAS SOMETHING I WAS OBSESSED WITH. I WOULD JUST READ ANYTHING AND EVERYTHING ABOUT A RUSSIAN GUY MAKING BUGS OUT OF ROCKS OR A PREDICTION OF THE WORLD GETTING SWOOPERED IN 1996.  I THINK THE FIRST THING THAT HAPPENED TO STOP THAT WAS JUST GETTING OLDER AND BEING LESS DUMB SO WHEN A BOOK SAID "THEN AN ALIEN TALKED TO ME TELEPATHICALLY" I COULD JUST SAY "NO IT DIDN'T" AND THAT WAS THE END. BUT THE LARGER THING I FEEL LIKE HAPPENED IS THAT CONSPIRACY STUFF JUST ISN'T FUN ANYMORE. IN THE LAST 20 YEARS IT FEELS LIKE EVERYTHING CONSPIRACY STOPPED BEING COOL OR FUN AND IS NOW JUST FAR RIGHT ULTRA CONSERVATIVE STUFF. I KNOW AS A KID PART IS I SIMPLY MISSED ANY POLITICAL UNDERTONE TO SAYING ROTHCHILD IS A SPACE LIZARD, AND THINGS LIKE DISTRUST OF THE GOVERNMENT ARE KINDA INHERENT TO CONSPIRACY AND IS ALWAYS A LITTLE RIGHT LEANI

 Scott Pilgrim Takes Off [anime] THIS IS REALLY VERY GOOD. SHOCKINGLY GOOD. I FEEL LIKE I HAVE THE SAME REVIEW OF EVERY SCOTT PILGRIM THING THOUGH, THAT IT FEELS MADE IN A LAB TO RESONATE WITH ME SPECIFICALLY (I THINK CLASH AT DEMONHEAD SOLD LIKE, LESS THAN 50,000 COPIES OR SOMETHING) AND IT DOES, BUT NEVER AS MUCH AS I WANT. I FEEL LIKE EVERY TIME I LIKE EVERY SINGLE INDIVIDUAL ELEMENT THEN NEVER REALLY LIKE THE CORE STORY. THEY DID ADD A BUNCH OF EVANGELION STUFF TO THE END OF THIS AT LEAST.  PS. SORRY KNIVES. 

 Five Nights at Freddy's [movie] THIS MOVIE ISN'T GOOD, BUT LIKE, IT'S KINDA GOOD? IT'S MORE GOOD THAN IT NEEDED TO BE? ALSO THE PACING IS HILARIOUS, IT'S VERY SLOW AND SERIOUS FOR LIKE 75% OF IT THEN LIKE TEN TRILLION THINGS HAPPEN IN THE LAST 20 MINUTES AND BARELY MAKE SENSE.  PS. ALSO WE WATCHED THIS IN THE THEATER, WE DIDN'T TORRENT OR STREAM THIS, BUT SOMEHOW IT BUFFERED A BUNCH? I DON'T THINK THAT IS EVEN HOW MOVIE THEATERS WORK. 

 We're All Going to the World's Fair [movie] THIS MOVIE IS LIKE, REALLY REALLY REALLY BORING, BUT GOOD? IT SET UP LIKE IT WOULD BE FOUND FOOTAGE SUPERNATURAL GARBAGE, BUT IT ENDED UP BEING LIKE.... GUMMO BUT FOR A SAD GIRL LOOKING AT A LOW QUALITY CREEPYPASTA AND IT DID THAT EXTREMELY WELL. THERE IS JUST SOMETHING REALLY WELL DONE ABOUT HOW LOW QUALITY AND LOW EFFORT EVERYTHING IS AND HOW EASILY SHE DIDN'T KILL HERSELF. LIKE THIS SPECIFIC THING WAS OVERALL NOT A VERY IMPORTANT PART OF THE CRAPPY LIFE SHE WAS HAVING.  PS. I WATCHED THIS BECAUSE I LOOKED UP WHERE THE WILD THINGS ARE AND GOOGLE RECOMMENDED THIS AS A "COMING OF AGE HORROR MOVIE" AND THAT IS A GREAT GENRE NAME. 

 FLCL: Shoegaze [anime] I DO FEEL LIKE IF THEY KEEP MAKING THESE ONE WILL BE GOOD EVENTUALLY. IT FEELS LIKE THEY REALLY ARE TRYING. EVERY ONE IS PRETTY DIFFERENT AND THE FACT THEY DIDN'T MAKE HARUMI JUST BE HARU REALLY IS THEM NOT GOING FOR EASY CASH GRABS. THIS ONE FELT LIKE IT HAD ALL THE RIGHT EMOTIONAL HOOKS FOR WHAT IT WAS GOING FOR: A KID WHO FELT THE WORLD WAS WRONG, WEIRD AUTISM BAD GIRL, GIFTED KID WHO GREW UP AND NEVER DID ANYTHING, OLD MAN WHO WOULD DO ANYTHING TO MAKE THE WORLD GO BACK TO HOW IT USED TO BE. IT JUST DIDN'T GO MUCH OF ANYWHERE WITH IT. ALTHOUGH IT FEELS MORE LIKE IT' A DIRECT CONTINUATION OF THE PAST ONES AND WILL LEAD MORE DIRECTLY INTO THE FUTURE ONES SO MAYBE IT WILL PAY OFF EVENTUALLY.  PS. A BUNCH OF POLICE CARS AND FIRE TRUCKS WENT BY WHEN THE THING WAS ACTIVATING AND THAT GAVE ME CHILLS, AND I MEAN, YOU CAN'T REALLY CREDIT THE SHOW FOR THAT AND THIS WAS STILL JUST OKAY, BUT I KEEP FEELING LIKE THEY ALMOST GET THERE. 

 Puppet Master [movie] IT'S SO FUNNY, EVERY HELLRAISER VHS HAD TRAILERS FOR THESE, BUT GILLINS MOVIES NEVER HAD ANY OF THESE IN SO I WAS ALWAYS OBSESSED WITH SOMEDAY WATCHING THESE MOVIES, BUT THEY AREN'T GOOD AT ALL.WAY WORSE THAN HELLRAISER. I THINK I WATCHED MAYBE 3 EVER THEN DIDN'T EVEN TRY AGAIN TO WATCH MORE, I DON'T EVEN KNOW IF I EVER WATCHED THIS FIRST ONE BEFORE.  PS. I LIKE THAT LIKE HELLRAISER THIS IS A WEIRD TOTALLY DIFFERENT MOVIE WITH A HUMAN ANTAGONIST AND THE PUPPETS ARE THIS MINOR ELEMENT OF THE PLOT BUT IN THIS YOU CAN TELL THAT WASN'T INTENTIONAL, IT WAS JUST "THIS STOP ANIMATION COSTS TOO MUCH" SO THEY HAD A SUPER LORE HEAVY PLOT ABOUT A TEAM OF PSYCHICS WITH LINKED HEARTS INSTEAD. ALSO ONLY SHOWING LEFT BOOBS. 

 Saw X [movie] IT BUGS ME SO UNREASONABLY MUCH THIS WAS A FLASHBACK MOVIE TO MR SAW BEING ALIVE BUT TOOK PLACE BETWEEN THE FIRST AND SECOND MOVIE. LIKE EVERYTHING ABOUT IT SET IT UP AS AN ORIGIN MOVIE. HIS FIRST SAW WHERE HE GOT TO SEE HOW TO SAW. BUT NOPE, HE WAS ALREADY A SAW WHEN HE GOT THERE.  PS. IT ALSO MADE ME MAD THE FINGER BREAKING MACHINE WAS NOT BENDING HIS FINGER BACK THAT MUCH. LIKE MAYBE THEY WANTED A PRACTICAL EFFECT BUT I CAN EASILY BEND MY FINGERS 90 DEGREES BACK, THAT ISN'T EVEN SPECIAL FLEXIBILITY. 

 FLCL: Grunge [anime] I DON'T KNOW IF IT SAYS MORE ABOUT HOW FAR FLCL HAS FALLEN OR HOW LITTLE I FOLLOW ANIME ANYMORE THIS WAS RELEASED AND FINISHED A MONTH AGO AND I JUST HEARD OF IT TODAY. I HAVE SUCH MIXED OPINIONS ON MODERN FLCL, IT'D BE SO EASY FOR IT TO BE A CASH IN CASH GRAB, BUT EVERY NEW ONE DOES SOMETHING REALLY DIFFERENT, IT'S NOT REALLY LIKE THIS WAS BAD AT ALL. MAYBE IT'S JUST THAT ORIGINAL FLCL WAS ONE OF THE BEST PEICES OF MEDIA EVER MADE AND THEY SHOULD JUST MAKE ANOTHER SHOW AND NOT MAKE THESE FLCL. BUT IT DOES FEEL LIKE IT'S NOT JUST THAT. IT FEELS LIKE THEY PUT THOUGHT AND CARE INTO THESE, LIKE YOU CAN TELL THE IMMIGRATION STORYLINE HAD SOME EMOTION TO IT, NOTHING EVER STICKS THE LANDING. PS. JUST BECAUSE I WATCHED IT FRESHMAN YEAR OF COLLEGE I FEEL LIKE EVERY FLCL SHOULD EITHER BE FOR ME A 40 YEAR OLD WHO WATCHED THIS 20 YEARS AGO *OR* SHOULD BE FOR SOMEONE WHO IS A FRESHMAN IN COLLEGE NOW. IT'S SUPPOSED TO BE A SHOW ABOUT THE ENDING OF CHILD

 Made in Abyss: Dawn of the Deep Soul [anime, movie] MAN THE PACING IN THIS IS SO BAD. SO MANY MAJOR ELEMENTS HAPPEN IN LIKE TEN SECONDS AND THEN MOVE ON. IT'S NOT HARD TO FOLLOW OR ANYTHING, BUT I'M ACTUALLY MAD HOW GOOD THE IDEAS ARE AND HOW SORT OF GLOSSED OVER THEY ARE. LIKE THE BODY HORROR PART OF THE CLIMAX IS CLEARLY REALLY FUCKING AWFUL, BUT SOMETHING LIKE THAT WOULD BE A DRAWING ON 4CHAN, THE WHOLE THING CONCEPTUALLY IS SUCH A GOOD IDEA FOR THE WORST ANTAGONIST IMAGINABLE'S PLAN.   PS. IT'S SO WEIRDLY SIMPLE BUT SOME OF THE BEST PART IS WHEN THEY ARE JUST FREELY STAYING AT THE BASE BEFORE ANYTHING HAPPENS. IT'S SUCH A NOTHING CONCEPT, BUT I FEEL LIKE I CAN'T THINK OF A SINGLE PEICE OF MEDIA THAT HAS THAT SORT OF SETTING. HAVING A PURE EVIL MONSTER OF A PERSON, AND JUST HAVING ALL THE CHARACTERS OPENLY WANDERING AROUND THEIR HOUSE, AND JUST COMING AND GOING AND HAVING CONVERSATIONS WITH THEM CASUALLY.