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Showing posts from December, 2022

Thor: Love and Thunder [movie]

 Thor: Love and Thunder [movie] I DO FEEL LIKE THE REASON RAGNORAK WAS SO GOOD WAS IT WAS SILLY THINGS HAPPENING IN A FRAMEWORK THAT WAS GOING TO BE VERY VERY SERIOUS THEN WASN'T, THIS FELT LIKE SILLY THINGS HAPPENING IN A SILLY MOVIE AND THAT WAS FINE, BUT IT DIDN'T HIT THE SAME LEVEL AS THE OTHER ONE. LIKE IT ABSOLUTELY HAD MOMENTS BUT WAS A LOT OF THE SAME BEATS.  PS. I KNOW THE HOT TAKE OF "MARVEL VILLAN WAS RIGHT' IS KINDA A THING, BUT MAN GORR SEEMED RIGHT. THEY DID A WHOLE BIG THING OF GOING TO THE GOD CITY AND SHOWING HOW UNREDEAMABLE GODS ARE, AND FOUND THEM SO REPULSIVE THEY PERSONALLY KILLED THE LEADER OF THEM FAIRLY CASUALLY. I FEEL LIKE YOU COULD MAKE A FLIPPED PERSPECTIVE MOVIE WHERE GORR IS THE UNAMBIGIOUS HERO AND IT ENDS TRAGICALLY WITH THE SAME END SCENE OF HIS DAUGHTER NOW A CHILD SOLIDER EMPLOYED BY A GOD TO KILL MORTALS IN SOME MEANINGLESS WAR. 

Lyle Lyle crocodile [movie]

 Lyle Lyle crocodile [movie] I CAN NOT EXPRESS HOW MUCH THE CROCODILE WAS FUCKING THAT GUYS WIFE. I ABSOLUTELY LOVE HOW MUCH THAT WAS THE SUBTEXT WHILE THE TEXT WAS HE WAS MERELY STAYING UP SO NIGHT WITH HER EATING GARBAGE IN A DUMPSTER. THAT SOMEHOW MADE HER HIGH. PS. I FEEL LIKE SINGING ISN'T REALLY MORE IMPRESSIVE THAN WALKING AROUND WEARING CLOTHES

Yule Log [movie]

 Yule Log [movie] THIS IS BY THE TOO MANY COOKS GUY. IT WAS GOOD AND I LIKED IT. I HAVE SORT OF MIXED FEELINGS THOUGH. IT'S ALMOST LIKE THIS SHOULD HAVE BEEN JUST A REAL ACTUAL MOVIE. IT FEELS LIKE WHEN IT WAS TURNING SERIOUS IT REALLY WAS ACTUALLY BEING GOOD ENOUGH IT FELT BAD IT WAS IN A JOKE GAG MOVIE. LIKE, THE MAN IN THE FIREPLACE WAS A LEGITIMATELY GOOD CHARACTER AND IT ALMOST FEELS LIKE HE SHOULD HAVE GOTTEN A REAL ACTUAL MOVIE INSTEAD OF BEING A MINOR PART OF A JOKE MOVIE. I DON'T KNOW, LIKE AT SOME POINT THIS GUY WILL MAKE SOMETHING.  PS. ACTUALLY IT SHOULD HAVE GONE THE OTHER WAY, I'M ABSOLUTELY SHOCKED THIS MOVIE ISN'T LIKE 19 HOURS LONG WITH THE MOVIE ONLY HAPPENING LIKE 6.8 HOURS INTO THE YULE LOG. THAT ABSOLUTELY HAD TO BE THE ACTUAL PLAN FOR THIS, RIGHT? 

Cricket's Strangest Matches [book, nonfiction]

 Cricket's Strangest Matches [book, nonfiction] THE PROBLEM WITH THIS IS I HAVE NO IDEA HOW CRICKET WORKS. THIS BOOK WAS ACTUALLY NOT THAT BAD, BUT IT WAS ABOUT 1/3RD ACTUALLY STORIES ABOUT ACTUALLY INTERESTING CRICKET MATCHES, 1/3RD HEAVY "YOU HAD TO BE THERE" WHERE I'M SURE IT WAS FUNNY TO SEE BUT HAD NO REAL INTERESTING DESCRIPTION AND 1/3RD "THEN THE WICKET GOT A WICKET MADEN AND THEY SCORED 38!" WHERE IT WAS TOTALLY INCOMPREHENSIBLE WHAT IT WAS TALKING ABOUT PS. I HAD NO IDEA FOR THIS CATAGORY. I DON'T KNOW WHAT IDENTIY IS IMPORTANT TO ME SO I WENT WITH JUST READING A BOOK BY AN AUTHOR WITH THE EXACT SAME AS ME. THAT'S AN IDENTITY I IDENTIFY WITH: ANDREW WARDS. 

Avatar: Way of the Water [movie]

Avatar: Way of the Water [movie] I AM SO SCARED OF THE PLOW LADY THAT PLOWS MY APPARTMENT'S PARKINGLOT. I LITERALLY WATCHED THIS BECAUSE I WANTED TO MOVE MY CAR BEFORE SHE CAME AND YELLED AT ME. I WATCHED THE FIRST ONE DURING A DANGEROUS SNOW STORM TOO. THIS WAS A BETTER MOVIE THAN THE FIRST ONE, AND HAD A BUNCH OF BILLION DOLLAR ACTION SCENES SO IT WASN'T UNWATCHABLE BUT MAN WAS IT BLAND. THERE ARE SCENES WHERE THEY ARE GIVING NAVI AK-47S AND A PART WHALES LEARN OF MURDER AND A PART WHERE THE HUMAN CITY IS BEING BUILT BY MECHANICAL ANIMALS THAT ALL COULD HAVE ACTUALLY MADE A REAL STORY BUT THEY JUST HAD THE EXACT SAME MOVIE AS THE FIRST MOVIE BUT WITH GREEN NAVI INSTEAD OF BLUE NAVI AND LIKE 20 KID CHARACTERS   PS. THIS MOVIE IN FACT DID NOT CONTAIN ANY AVATARS. IT HAD CHARACTERS THAT CONCEPTUALLY COULD HAVE BEEN WRITTEN AS AVATARS AND WEREN'T AND I WONDER IF THERE WAS A MANDATE THAT THAT WAS THE MOST "COMPLICATED' PART IN THIS DEAD DUMB MOVIE AND THEY HAD TO REMO...

Pinocchio: A True Story [movie]

 Pinocchio: A True Story [movie] THIS COMES *SO* CLOSE TO BEING A PERFECT CULT CLASSIC MOVIE CANDIDATE.  IT'S LIKE, A RUSSIAN COMPUTER ANIMATED MOVIE AND IT'S VERY CLEARLY MACHINE TRANSLATED WITH EVERY ACTOR SAYING EVERY LINE WORD FOR WORD BUT THEY ALSO HIRED LIKE, NAMED ACTORS WITH EXTREMELY STRONG VOCAL STYLES (TOM KENNY, THE GUY FROM NAPOLEON DYNAMITE, PAULY SHORE) SO IT'S EVERYONE TRYING TO READ INCOMPREHENSIBLE LINES IN THESE EXTREMELY INSANE  LINE READS. IT'S OVERALL JUST TOO SLOW TO BE FULLY WORTH WATCHING BUT MAN, IT'S GOT SOME GREAT LINES. PS. ONE CHARACTER IS JUST A CAT WHO OWNS A GUN

Seconds [book, comic]

 Seconds [book, comic] I DON'T HATE THIS, BUT I THINK I MOSTLY DIDN'T LIKE IT AS MUCH AS I THOUGHT I WOULD. IT'S A GRAPHIC NOVEL BY THE SCOTT PILGRIM GUY (AND LISTED IN A SINGLE REVIEW AS 'FEEL GOOD') AND IT'S NOT REALLY OUTRIGHT TERRIBLE BUT IT JUST WASN'T GREAT. LIKE, I FEEL LIKE THE BASE PREMISE 'SOMEONE CAN GO BACK AND CHANGE THEIR PAST DECISIONS' IS A SET UP FOR AN INTERESTING ENOUGH STORY (CALLED "THE BUTTERFLY EFFECT").  BUT THIS FEELS LIKE IT JUST DIDN'T LEAN ENOUGH INTO THEMES AND METAPHOR FOR IT TO WORK ON THAT SIDE BUT ALSO DIDN'T LEAN ENOUGH INTO THE FANTASY/SCIFI STORY ELEMENTS TO MAKE IT WORK FROM THAT SIDE. IT FELT LIKE THE CHANGES RARELY MATTERED AND ALL THE PLOT POINTS WERE JUST FROM HER NOT KNOWING WHAT HAPPENED IN BETWEEN SO IT WAS MOSTLY AN AMNESIA STORY.  IT JUST FELT LIKE IT NEVER CAME TOGETHER. THE LAST PAGES TRIED FOR A 'ACCEPT THINGS YOU CAN'T CHANGE' ENDING BUT NONE OF THAT FIT WITH ANYTHING THE...

Pinocchio [movie]

 Pinocchio [movie]  OKAY, YEAH, I KINDA EXPECTED TO NOT LIKE THIS BUT ACTUALLY IT WAS REALLY FRIGGIN GOOD. I ABSOLUTELY LOVE LIFE AND DEATH (AND HAD TO WATCH THE MAKING OF DOCUMENTARY TO FULLY GET THAT WHAT THEY WERE, WHICH, DUH) I LOVED THE WEIRD CHOICE TO MAKE IT FACIST ITALY, I *LOVE* HORRIBLE ABOMBINATION NEWBORN PINOCCHIO. IT JUST REALLY DID A GOOD JOB WITH A NORMALLY FAIRLY BORING STORY.  PS. OKAY, I HAD TO LOOK UP IF PINE CARLO WAS THE REAL THING BECAUSE IT WAS SO STUPID AND IT 100% IS NOT AND THAT IS ALSO GREAT. ALSO I DON'T THINK THEY EVER EVEN SAY PINE CARLO BUT THAT IS SO WHAT THEY WERE GOING FOR AND YOU CAN IMAGINE DEL TORO SAYING IT IN HIS ACCENTED DOG VOICE THEN THEM HAVING IT IN THE MOVIE THEN NEVER SAYING IT BECAUSE IT DOESN'T WORK IN ANY OTHER ACCENT. 

True Names [book]

 True Names [book] "YOU KNOW THAT THING WHERE IF YOU CAN FIND A WIZARD'S TRUE NAME YOU CAN CONTROL OR DESTROY IT? WHAT IF SOME HACKERS WERE MEETING UP IN A FANTASY VIDEOGAME BEHIND SCREEN NAMES, IT'D BE KINDA LIKE THAT" IS THE BASIC SUMMARY OF THIS BOOK.  WHICH LIKE, SURE, THAT'S A FINE PREMISE. WHAT MAKES THIS ABSOLUTELY WILD IS THIS WAS PUBLISHED IN 1981 AND WRITTEN IN 1979. HOLY MOLY. THAT IS SO AHEAD OF IT'S TIME. WHO WAS EVEN THINKING ABOUT SCREEN NAMES OR ONLINE FANTASY RPGS IN 1979.  PS. I LOVE HOW MUCH THEY INSTANTLY ACCEPTED SOMETHING MIGHT BE AN ALIEN THEN WHEN THE IDEA A COMPUTER MIGHT HAVE DONE IT THEY WERE LIKE 'THAT'S IMPOSSIBLE!" THAT FEELS LIKE THE MOST 40 YEARS AGO PART. 

Novacene [book, nonfiction]

 Novacene [book, nonfiction] I REALLY LIKE THIS BOOK. I HAVE ALWAYS LIKED JAMES LOVELOCK, ALMOST CERTAINLY BECAUSE I LIKED SIM EARTH AND HE WAS HEAVILY TALKED ABOUT IN THAT. HE KINDA WENT THROUGH A PHASE OF LIKE, REALLY EXTREME ENVIROMENTALISM WHERE HE TALKED ABOUT NOT JUST GLOBAL WARMING BUT MORE LIKE, EARTH BECOMING VENUS AND THE OCEANS BOILING AWAY AND STRIPPING THE EARTH WITH ACID. NOW HE'S 100 YEARS OLD AND HE WROTE THIS REALLY WEIRDLY HOPEFUL BOOK WHERE THAT STILL WILL HAPPEN BUT HE HAS DECIDED THAT THERE IS ENOUGH TIME BEFORE THAT THAT ELECTRONIC LIFE WILL CERTAINLY EXIST BEFORE THEN AND HIS GAIA THEORY CAN CONTINUE ON WITH A NEW FORM OF SELF REGULATION AND IT'S NOT ANY MORE OF A CHANGE THAN ANY OF THE PAST CHANGES LIFE ON EARTH HAS SEEN. I LOVE THAT. PS. ALSO IT MENTIONS AND CONTAINS IN FULL THE POEM "ALL WATCHED OVER MACHINES OF LOVING GRACE" AND I CONSISTANTLY HAVE LOVED EVERYTHING THAT CALLS OUT TO THAT. 

Troll [movie]

 Troll [movie] NORWAY MADE A GOZILLA MOVIE BUT MADE IT EXTREMELY NORWEIGHAN, ALSO IT DOESN'T GO TOTALLY UNADDRESSED BUT THEY WERE SO MEAN TO THE TROLL THIS WHOLE MOVIE. I FEEL LIKE SOMETIMES I DON'T LIKE KAIJU MOVIES BECAUSE THEY ARE TOO MEAN TO THE MONSTER. ALSO I WANT TO KNOW WHAT THE TRANSLATION WITH THE 'I RESIGN' STUFF WAS. PS. WORSE THAN TROLL 2

Inscryption [game]

 Inscryption [game] GOD I LOVE THIS GAME. PONY ISLAND WAS LIKE, SPOOKY HAUNTED VIDEOGAME WHERE THE 'GAME' WAS A CRAPPY MADE IN FIVE SECOND FLASH GAME THEN THE REAL GAME WAS EVERYTHING AROUND IT. THIS IS THE SAME GUY AND IT'S THE SAME SORT OF GAME BUT LIKE "OKAY, BUT WHAT IF WE MADE THE FAKE GAME SUPER GOOD TOO". THIS IS JUST REALLY GOOD. THE CARD GAME WAS SUPER FUN AND THE WEIRD FROG FRACTIONS ESQ GAMEPLAY TWISTS ARE GREAT.  PS. I'M SAD. GETTING TO THE CREDITS AND THE WILD ENDING KNOWING HOW THE GAME IS I EXPECTED THAT NOT TO BE REMOTELY THE END. AND IT TOTALLY WASN'T BUT EVERYTHING ELSE WAS A LONG AGO ENDED ARG LIKE THE SECOND HALF OF FEZ. BUYING GAMES ON STEAM SALES SOMETIMES MISSES THE MOMENT.