Capital Reviews

EVERY PART OF THE KINGDOM HEARTS SERIES IS A BAD IDEA THAT SOMEHOW COMES TOGETHER TO BE A WONDERFUL THING AND THE ONLY VIDEOGAME SERIES THAT HAS THE SORT OF POWER TO CONNECT WITH MY EMOTIONS AS STRONGLY AS IT DOES. I MEAN THEY EVEN MAKE PLAYING MONOPOLY FUN. PS. I TOTALLY PLAYED ON HP CRITICAL MODE BECAUSE I'M BADASS LIKE THAT.

THIS WAS A REALLY GOOD BOOK EXCEPT I GUESS THE FACT IT SORT OF MEANDERED IN THE SECOND HALF AND EVENTUALLY BECAME 'DUMB KID DOES DUMB MUNDANE CRAP LITTLE KIDS DO' AND THE GIMMICK OF THE WRITING TO WRITE EVERYTHING AS A LITTLE KID COULD HAVE BEEN REALLY ANNOYING BUT THE ONLY TIME IT MADE ME ANNOYED WAS WHEN IT DID THAT THING STEPHEN KING ALWAYS DOES WHERE THEY USE A PHRASE ONCE THEN USE IT AGAIN A BUNCH OF TIMES IN A DIFFERENT CONTEXT. PS. LETS PRETEND THE MOVIE THE ROOM IS BASED ON THIS. DENNY IS JACK.

I LIKED THIS MOVIE A LOT EXCEPT FOR THE FACT THE MAIN CHARACTER'S VOICE MADE HIM SEEM LIKE 30 AND THE FACT THE JUSTIFICATION THAT THE DRAGONS WERE OKAY IS THEY WERE DOING WHAT THEY DID FOR THEIR OWN SURVIVAL BUT I GUESS THE EVEN BIGGER DRAGON DOESN'T GET THAT CONSIDERATION? PS: ALSO THE FACT THEY MASCULINIZED ASTRA WHEN SHE WAS A BAD GUY AND FEMINIZED HER WHEN SHE WAS A GOOD GUY. I MEAN JUST LOOK AT HER WEAPON SELECTION.

THIS WAS A WICKED GOOD MOVIE EXCEPT THAT THE THEME SONG THEY PLAYED RIGHT AT THE START AND RIGHT AT THE END SOUNDED WAY TOO MUCH LIKE 'WITH A GIRL LIKE YOU' BY THE TROGGS AND IT MADE ME WICKED CRAZY EVERY TIME THEY PLAYED IT. PS. SHOUT OUTS TO SCOTT PILGRIM AND TO RUNAWAYS.

I LEARNED THAT THE RAINBOW THIEF WAS TOTALLY DISOWNED AND *THIS* IS REALLY WHAT A JORDOROWSKY MOVIE WITH A REAL COHERENT NARRATIVE IS REALLY LIKE. PS. I LIKE I HAVE WATCHED ENOUGH OF THESE TO SEE THAT CASTRATION FOLLOWED BY SUICIDE IS A RUNNING TREND ALONG WITH MIDGETS AND PEOPLE USING OTHER PEOPLE AS ARMS.

I LIKE IT BECAUSE UNLIKE THE OTHERS THIS MOVIE PRETENDS TO HAVE A TRADITIONAL NARRATIVE BUT STILL CAN'T ESCAPE HAVING A BUNCH OF WEIRD CRAP AND MIDGETS AND TAROT CARDS AND STUFF. PS. IT'S FUNNY BECAUSE THE OTHER FILMS SUPERFICIALLY MAKE LESS SENSE BUT THIS HAS BEEN THE FIRST ONE I SORT OF FEEL LIKE I DID NOT GET.

DOTA-LIKES HAVE THE WORST PEOPLE EVER PLAYING, IT IS ME, I AM THE WORST PEOPLE. PS. THE ONLY HERO I AM REALLY GOOD AT IS MORGANA AND IN GAME PEOPLE CALL ME MORGAN AND THATS P. WEIRD.

THE INTERNET SAID THIS WAS THE WORST MOVIE AND IT PRETTY MUCH WAS. IT'S FUNNY BECAUSE IT WASN'T EVEN THE SHOCK IMAGERY THAT MADE IT SO BAD IT WAS JUST INCOMPREHENSIBLE AND SILLY. PS. THIS MOVIE APPARENTLY DOESN'T KNOW HOW BEING GAY OR ASLEEP WORKS I GUESS?

THIS WAS KINDA THE EXACT SAME MOVIE AS HOLY MOUNTAIN BUT THAT IS ALL I EVER HOPED OR WANTED IT TO BE. SOMETIMES I NEED TO WATCH JESUS ANALOGIES BE COVERED WITH BEES AND FLIES AND I AM GLAD JODOROWSKY CAN CONSISTENTLY PROVIDE THAT. PS. I HONESTLY CAN'T THINK OF A MOVIE THAT TIED A DUDE WITH NO LEGS TO A DUDE WITH NO ARMS THAT ISN'T BY THIS GUY.