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Showing posts from March, 2022

Death of Me [movie]

 Death of Me [movie] I WANTED TO LIKE THIS, IT HAD A TON OF ELEMENTS THAT WERE ALMOST THERE, BUT YOU CAN TELL IT'S ONE OF THOSE MOVIES THAT THEY THOUGHT OF LIKE 4 SCENES FIRST THEN THE REST OF THE MOVIE EXISTS TO STRING THOSE SCENES TOGETHER AS LAZILY AS POSSIBLE. THIS JUST WANTED TO BE MIDSOMMER SO BAD IT JUST FORGOT TO WRITE ANYTHING INTERESTING BETWEEN THE "YOU KNOW, LIKE IN MIDSOMMER" SCENES.  PS. I WAS GOING TO WRITE MY FACEBLINDNESS WAS RACIST BECAUSE I WAS HAVING A HARD TIME FOLLOWING WHO WAS WHO AMONG THE TWO ASIAN WOMEN BUT DON'T WORRY, BY THE END MY FACE BLINDNESS WAS ENTIRELY NON-RACIST BECAUSE I WAS STARTING TO STRUGGLE MORE AND MORE TO DETERMINE WHO WAS WHO BETWEEN AN ASIAN WOMAN AND A BLOND WHITE WOMAN. THERE WASN'T EVEN LIKE A TON OF CHARACTERS BUT SOMETHING ABOUT THIS MOVIE MADE THE PART OF MY BRAIN WHO COULD FOLLOW WHO WAS WHO TURN OFF. IT WAS NONLINEAR BUT IN AN INCREASINGLY DULL WAY THAT LEAD STRONGLY TO 'WAIT, WHICH LADY WAS THIS ONE?"

Bugsnax [game]

Bugsnax [game] THIS GAME IS REALLY WEIRD. I MEAN, CLEARLY IT IS. BUT LIKE TONE WISE. THIS ISN'T QUITE TO THE LEVEL OF DOKI DOKI LITERATURE CLUB BUT IT IS KINDA APPROCHING THAT. LIKE IT'S WEIRD CUTE MUPPET BODY HORROR BUT IT'S NOT EVEN REALLY THAT. IT'S LIKE, AS YOU DO EVERYONE'S QUESTS YOU LEARN EVERYONE IS VERY SAD, AND IF YOU MESS UP AT THE END THEY CAN ALL DIE IN FRONT OF YOU THEN CRY OVER EACHOTHER. ON THE OTHER HAND THIS GAME IS SUPER UNFUN TO PLAY. I LET SOME OF THE SADDEST DEATHS HAPPEN AND DIDN'T RETRY BECAUSE GOD, EVERY SINGLE THING IN THIS GAME FEELS LIKE 25% HARDER THAN IT SHOULD BE. LIKE EVERYTHING IS FIGURING OUT THE ANSWER OF THE PUZZLE THEN HAVING TO TRY 8 EXTRA TIMES TO DO IT BECAUSE THE PHYSICS FREAK OUT JUST ENOUGH TO MAKE EVERYTHING A CHORE. PS. I ABSOLUTELY GIVE THIS GAME CREDIT FOR SEEMING TO HAVE AN ENDLESS VOICE TRACK FOR EVERY BUGSNAK. I FEEL LIKE ANY OTHER GAME WOULD HAVE TAKEN THE EASY WAY OUT AND JUST RECORDED ONE OR TWO VOICE LINES AN

The Outsiders [book, audiobook]

 The Outsiders [book, audiobook] I MEAN, AS A BOOK I WISH I WOULD HAVE READ WHEN I WAS YOUNGER I DON'T REALLY MEAN I FEEL LIKE THIS WOULD SPEAK TO ME PARTICULARLY, BUT MORE LIKE, I SAW SOME REFERANCE TO A BOOK ABOUT PONYBOY AND HAD AN EXTREME "WHAT THE HECK ARE THESE KIDS READING?" BUT APPARENTLY EVERYONE ON EARTH BUT ME READ THIS IN 9TH GRADE.  I KNOW THE THING ABOUT THIS IS THAT IT WAS WRITTEN BY AN ACTUAL 15 YEAR OLD GIRL. IT'S NOT REALLY POORLY WRITTEN BUT I LOVE HOW YOU CAN FEEL THAT FACT. LIKE THE PACE OF THE BOOK IS SO FRANTIC, THERE IS NO PAUSE BETWEEN ANYTHING ANYTIME ANYONE WALKS LITERALLY ANYWHERE EVERYONE IS ALWAYS JUST THERE, THIS IS A WORLD WITH LIKE 10 PEOPLE THAT EXIST IN IT. ALSO EVERYONE ANNOUNCES THEIR ENTIRE PERSONALITY AND FUTURE WHEN YOU MEET THEM AND ALL THE DESCRIPTIONS OF ALL THE BOYS IS WAY MORE HORNY THAN SEEMS NECESSARY. ALSO I ABSOLUTELY LOVE THE CONCEPT THAT A HOUSE OF RUFFIAN TEENS BAKE AN ENTIRE CHOCOLATE CAKE TO EAT FOR BREAKFAST EVERY

Human Resources: season one [television]

 Human Resources: season one [television] THIS SUCKS. BIG MOUTH ALSO SUCKS. BIG MOUTH IS AT LEAST SO RELENTLESSLY NEGATIVE THAT SOMETIMES IT ACTUALLY CROSSES INTO HAVING SOMETHING INTERESTING TO SAY. THIS FEELS LIKE IT COULD HAVE GONE THAT WAY, WITH STORY LINES LIKE A MOTHER THAT CAN'T LOVE THEIR OWN BABY, BUT IT'S JUST TOO DUMB. IT'S SUCH A WEIRD THING TO PRAISE A SHOW FOR, BUT BIG MOUTH FEELS LIKE WHOEVER WROTE IT IS ACTUALLY VERY SAD ABOUT THINGS.  PS. BIG MOUTH IS ALSO NOT FUNNY AND THIS IS ALSO NOT FUNNY BUT THIS IS MORE NOT FUNNY. 

Windfall [movie]

 Windfall [movie] THIS FEELS EXTREMELY LIKE IT WAS MEANT TO BE A PLAY INSTEAD. IT ALSO FEELS LIKE IT SET UP EVERYONE AS AN EXTREME ARCHETYPE AND THEN THE MOVIE WENT "EH, YOU GET WHAT WE ARE GOING FOR" AND DIDN'T BOTHER TO ACTUALLY HAVE THE PLOT BEATS. LIKE IT'S NEVER CONFUSING BECAUSE YOU JUST CAN TELL 'EH, YOU GET IT" FOR STUFF THAT WOULD HAVE HAPPENED. PS. I FEEL LIKE IT'S EASY TO CONFUSE THIS MOVIE BEING A LITTLE GOOD FOR IT HAVING A LOT OF MUSIC TELLING YOU WHAT EACH SCENE IS. 

Skyrim VR [game]

 Skyrim VR [game] I ORIGINALLY PLAYED SKYRIM BEFORE IT CAME OUT USING A WEIRD PRE-RELEASE LEAKED PIRATED COPY. SO IT'S BEEN A WHILE SINCE I PLAYED. SKYRIM VR 'OUT OF THE BOX' IS A SHOCKINGLY BAD PRODUCT. AS OTHER PEOPLE HAVE POINTED OUT THE FAMOUS SKYRIM OPENING STARTS WITH NON-PLAYER CONTROLLED MOTION WHERE YOU ARE MOVING SIDEWAYS WHICH IS BARF TOWN CENTRAL FOR VR AND PAST THAT IT ADDS SO LITTLE TO THE BASE TO ACTUALLY SUPPORT VR. YOU DON'T EVEN HAVE ARMS IN BASE SKYRIM VR. BUT WITH *172* MODS I GOT SKYRIM TO BE REALLY GOOD IN VR. TURNS OUT I STILL KINDA DON'T LIKE SKYRIM, BUT WITH ENOUGH MODS IT REALLY IS THE BEST GAME TO SHOW OFF WHAT VR CAN BE. LIKE IT IS REALLY FUN TO HAVE A BUNCH OF SPELLS AND BE CASTING THEM ALL EVERY WHICH WAY AT ONCE. IT'S NEVER AN IMMERSIVE GAME THAT FEELS LIKE YOU ARE REALLY THERE BUT IT'S EXTREMELY FUN TO MOTION CONTROL THROWING SPELLS LIKE 8 DIFFERENT WAYS REALLY FAST PS. I BECAME AN ILLUSION MAGE BECAUSE ALL THE REALISTIC LIGHT

Maloka [game?]

 Maloka [game?] THIS IS LIKE, GUIDED MEDITATION VR FEATURING NEIL DEGRASS TYSON THAT ALSO HAS HEAVY VIRTUAL PET ELEMENTS? IT'S LIKE THIRTY THINGS THAT KINDA ADD UP TO NOTHING, IT REALLY JUST IS GUIDED BREATHING WHILE YOU LOOK AT VR EARTHBOUND BATTLE BACKGROUNDS BUT HONESTLY AS A FREE THING IT'S NEAT ENOUGH.  PS. THE STUNNING 4K RESOLUTION MEDIATION APP 

Turning Red [movie]

Turning Red [movie] THIS WAS GOOD.  I LOVE HOW EVEN SOMETHING LIKE GINGERSNAPS HAS TO DANCE AROUND THE "THIS IS A METAPHOR FOR PUBERTY" STUFF BUT THIS JUST GOES FOR IT AND DOESN'T HIDE WHAT THE METAPHOR IS. I ALSO LIKE HOW THIS MOVIE DECIDED TO NOT GO THE ROUTE OF HAVING A MILLION SCENES OF HER HAVING TO SNEAK AROUND HIDING. I ALSO REALLY LIKE THE REALLY WEIRD DETAIL OF HOW VIDEOGAMEY IT WAS THAT HER UPGRADED FORM FROM ACCEPTING HER PANDA WAS SO SPECIFICALLY THAT SHE GAINED A DOUBLE JUMP. ALSO THE BIG PANDA FIGHT HAD A BUNCH OF FLCL CAMERA ANGLES.  PS. DISNEY'S ONGOING ANTI-GRANDMA AGENDA. 

The Year of the Sex Olympics [movie,amazing]

The Year of the Sex Olympics [movie,amazing] OH MY GOD, THIS IS LIKE, A 1968 NEAR LOST MEDIA BRITISH TELEVISION MOVIE ABOUT SOME FAR FUTURE WHERE MOST OF THE POPULATION IS KEPT DOCILE AND STUPID BY WATCHING SENSATIONAL TV (LIKE SEX BASED SPORTS COMPETITIONS) THEN A SMALL FRACTION RUNS THINGS (BRAVE NEW WORLD STYLE) BUT ALSO EVERYONE ONLY TALKS IN ULTRA SIMPLIFIED FUTURE BRITISH SLANG, AND AFTER WATCHING A PROTESTOR DIE AND EVERYONE THINKING IT'S SUPER FUNNY THEY INVENT A TV SHOW WHERE A COUPLE LIVES ON AN ISLAND AND CAMERAS FILM THEM NONSTOP SO EVERYONE CAN WATCH AND LAUGH AT THEM AS THEY DIE ON A SURVIVAL ISLAND SITUATION. IT'S VERY 1968 BLACK MIRROR AND YOU CAN ABSOLUTELY CONNECT STUFF TO MODERN REALITY TV, BUT IT'S THE WEIRD WAY EVERYONE TALKS THAT JUST ABSOLUTELY SENDS THIS OFF THE CHARTS INTO AMAZING, EVERY SENTENCE ANYONE EVER SAYS IS JUST THE BEST. "AWW, GRANDMA'S EGGS", "CRAYBS", "TOO MANY PEOPLE IN CAVES!", "I'VE GOT TO LO

Raw [movie]

 Raw [movie] I REALLY DO LIKE FRENCH HORROR, I THINK IF I WATCHED A TON OF IT I'D FIGURE OUT IT WAS ALL THE SAME BUT I DON'T SO IT'S ALL SUPER FRESH FEELING. IT'S WEIRDLY DIFFERENT FEELING THAN AMERICAN OR EVEN ASIAN HORROR, I DON'T EVEN KNOW IT FEELS GOOD, IT FEELS LIKE THE ESCALATION IS ALL SCREWED UP, LIKE THE MOST SHOCKING SCENES ARE TOO EARLY THEN EVERYTHING AFTER SEEMS LIKE IT SHOULD BE EARLIER BUT ALSO IT FEELS LIKE SHE TOO INSTANTLY TURNED EVIL AFTER EATING LIKE ONE HAM SANDWICH. IT ALSO FELT LIKE THERE WAS MULTIPLE TIMES IT WAS BUILDING UP TO HER EATING A DOG? WHICH DID NOT HAPPEN AND ALSO WOULD BE LIKE 10 STEPS DOWN FROM THINGS SHE ATE ANYWAY.  PS. JUST HANGING OUT WITH YOUR SISTER, PLAYING PISSING GAMES. 

Tall Girl 2 [movie]

 Tall Girl 2 [movie] JUST UNBEARABLY BORING. THE ONLY GOOD PART WAS THE DYNAMIC WHERE THE VILLAIN FROM THE FIRST MOVIE WAS STILL THEIR FRIEND BUT EVERYONE JUST OPENLY HATED HIM, AND EVEN THAT GOT DROPPED PRETTY FAST.  PS. THE PLOT WAS TALL GIRL GETTING SOME ANXIETY DISORDER THING BUT IT WAS 100% MORE LIKE THAT VIDEO ABOUT SCHIZOPHRENIA THAT "IT'S THE WEATHER" IS FROM