Capital Reviews

 Big City Greens the Movie: Spacecation [movie] I WATCHED THIS WITH MY NIECE AND NEPHEW. I USUALLY FIND CARTOONS PRETTY EASY WATCHING, WHERE EVEN IF IT'S NOT GOOD IT'S NOT HARD TO WATCH. I FEEL LIKE I HATED A LOT OF THIS MOVIE. I HAVE NEVER REALLY WATCHED THE SHOW SO I'M NOT SURE IF IT WAS LIKE THE EPISODES BUT MAN, BOTH THE DAD AND THE KID WERE ANNOYING. LIKE THEY WEREN'T SO AWFUL I FEEL LIKE THE SHOW IS MORALLY BAD OR OUTRAGEOUS OR ANYTHING BUT BOTH SIDES WERE JUST AWFUL AND SUCKED BUT WITHOUT THE SHOW BEING WACKY ENOUGH TO MAKE IT JUST PURE SLAPSTICK.  PS. IS THE DAD MISSING A FINGER? 

 Ultraman: Rising [movie] I HATE EVERY ULTRAMAN THING ALWAYS I THINK BUT MAN I HATE THIS, OBVIOUSLY THE POINT IS HE BECAME BETTER BUT GOD THEY MADE HIM A HORRIBLE RANCID PERSON. ITS HARD TO WATCH LIKE 75% OF THE MOVIE JUST FOR HOW DUDE BRO SHITBAG THE MAIN CHARACTER IS. PS. I LIKE THAT THE ANIMATION IS REALLY BAD THEN LIKE FOUR SECONDS IN THE LAST FIGHT SUDDENLY LOOKED REALLY AMAZING. LIKET THE WHOLE MOVIE EXISTED TO JUST ANIMATE ONE PART OF ONE FIGHT. 

 Straight [audiobook, short story] THIS IS CHUCK TINGLE WRITING FICTION THAT ISN'T GIMMICK EROTICA. HE'S NOT A BAD WRITER. THE CONCEPT OF THIS IS A WORLD WHERE ONE DAY A YEAR A SPACE ANOMALY CAUSES EVERY STRAIGHT PERSON TO LOSE THEIR MIND AND BECOME CONFUSED AND VIOLENT THE STORY THEN FOLLOWS A GROUP OF LGBT PEOPLE I THE THIRD YEAR AFTER A VACCINE HAS BEEN RELEASED AND THE TRUST AND DISTRUST AND EVENTUALLY JUST BECOMING A ZOMBIE STORY. IT'S NOT BAD. YOU CAN TELL THE WEIRD THINGS CHUCK TINGLE FOCUSES ON.  PS. NO, I GET IT, I GET THE POINT OF THE STORY, NO, I GET IT. I KNOW I'M THE GUY THAT WOULD SAY THIS, I KNOW. BUT THE MORAL WAS SO WEIRD. LIKE, THE IDEA WAS ALLIES WILL ALWAYS ABANDON THINGS WHEN STUFF GETS ROUGH BUT LIKE.... THEY IMMEDIATELY LEFT JERMY FOR DEAD WHEN HE HURT HIS ANKLE, THEY DIDN'T EVEN CHECK IF HE WAS OKAY, THEY JUST RAN AWAY, THEN THE STRAIGHT GUY LIKE, CAME BACK AND FOUGHT TO THE DEATH WITH A BASEBALL BAT TRYING TO SAVE THEM AND ONLY LEFT WHEN HE

 WildFrost [game] WHEN I AM SICK WITH A FEVER, LIKE I AM NOW, I HAVE A THING WHERE I WILL OFTEN SLEEP RESTLESSLY WHILE HAVING LONG ENDLESS NIGHTMARES ON THE THEME OF NEEDING TO SORT THINGS OR SOLVE PUZZLES OR SEPARATE THINGS OR SOME SIMILAR TASK. I HAD HOURS LONG NIGHTMARES I NEEDED TO PLAY THIS GAME AND MAKE A GORILLA FARMER CARD THAT WOULD MAKE GREEN PLANT BALLS TO CANCEL OUT TAR BALLS. THIS IS NOT A MECHANIC IN THIS GAME BUT I WOKE UP AND DELETED THE ENTIRE GAME IN A DELERIUM AFRAID THE IPAD BEING IN MY BED WAS LEAKING INTO MY BRAIN AND KEEPING ME FROM SLEEP.  PS. THAT SEEMS FINE, I GOT THE NORMAL ENDING BUT NOT THE “TRUE” ENDING AND THEY ARE STILL ADDING THINGS TO THIS GAME SO I CAN REDOWNLOAD IT ANOTHER TIME

 Furiosa: A Mad Max Saga [movie] I KNOW THIS MOVIE WAS A HUGE FLOP BUT NOT BECAUSE IT WAS BAD (ALTHOUGH BOY THEY SHOULD NOT HAVE SHOW CLIPS FROM FURY ROAD AT THE END BECAUSE MAN THAT SHOWED OFF HOW MUCH BETTER THAT MOVIE LOOKED AND OOF AT THAT). SOMETHING WENT WRONG WITH THE ADVERTISING. IT CAME OUT WITHOUT ME HAVING EVER EVEN HEARD IT WAS COMING OUT AND IT'S BEEN OUT FOR A MONTH AND I STILL NEVER HAD SEEN A TRAILER OR A SCREEN SHOT OR ANYTHING. ALSO CHRIS HEMSWORTH WAS A LITTLE MARVELY AT TIMES. I FEEL LIKE THE SCRIPT HAD HIM AS HE ANTI-MAD MAX, SINCE HE HAD THE LEG BRACE AND HE WAS LIKE, THE END GAME OF TERMINAL CRAZY BUT THEN THEY GOT A BIG STAR SO THEY DIDN'T KNOW WHAT TO DO WITH HIM. PS. THE BEST PART IS HOW THEY WENT "FALLOUT STOLE EVERYTHING FROM US" THEN JUST DID THEIR OWN WAR NEVER CHANGES SPEECH TO ONE UP THEM.  (THE REAL BEST PART IS I DON'T REMEMEBER THERE BEING A SCENE WHERE HISTORY MAN EVEN CHANGES SIDES, HE'S JUST KINDA THERE. I LIKE THE IDEA EV

 The Wilds [book, audiobook] THIS IS A BUNCH OF SHORT STORIES BY ONE AUTHOR. THE STORIES ARE PRETTY GOOD BUT BY FAR THE MOST INTERESTING THING IS HOW THE STORIES REUSE A LOT OF CHARACTERS/IDEAS/THEMES BUT NEVER FEEL LIKE THEY ARE IN CONVERSATION WITH EACHOTHER. SOMETHING ABOUT IT MAKES IT FEEL LIKE THESE WERE NOT WRITTEN WITH A COLLECTION IN MIND AND YOU WEREN'T SUPPOSED TO NOTICE REPEATS. LIKE THERE IS TWO STORIES WHERE A WOMAN GOES TO A HEALTH SPA AND CHEATS ON HER BOYFRIEND, AND ONE IS SCI-FI THEMED AND ONE IS CAVEMAN THEMED AND THAT VERY MUCH FEELS LIKE THE TWO STORIES SHOULD GO TOGETHER. BUT THEY REALLY JUST SEEM LIKE THEY WERE WRITTEN SEPARATE AND READING BOTH IS NOT ALLOWED OR SOMETHING.  EVERY PRE-TEEN GIRL HAS ONE BREAST BIGGER THAN THE OTHER AND WATCHED ELEPHANT MAN.  PS. THE STORIES ARE ALL EXTREMEMLY PREMISE HEAVY AND SO A LOT SET UP A SITUATION AND JUST ABRUPTLY END, AND THAT FEELS GOOD ON ANY ONE STORY WHERE IT'S LIKE "WOW, ALL THESE POSSIBILITIES" AND Y