Capital Reviews

I THINK THEY WERE TRYING TO BE DEEP WITH AN OPEN ENDED ENDING BUT BASICALLY NOTHING HAPPENED. PS. ALSO EMILY BLUNT SMOKED SOME POT, 4/20 SMOKE BODY DISPOSAL MOVIES EVERYDAY

IF YOU LIKE THIS SHOW THEN KILL YOURSELF THEN KILL YOURSELF THEN KILL YOUR SELF THEN KILL YOURSELF. PS. TRANSLATING ASTEROID INTO A STEROID AND SAYING THE BISEXUAL GUY WOULD "TEST POORLY" WERE BOTH KINDA FUNNY BECAUSE I MEAN THIS HAS LIKE THE FUNNIEST WRITER EVER BUT JESUS CHRIST IT SUCKS SO BAD IT PHYSICALLY PAINED ME TO WATCH IT.

YOU SHOULD SEE THIS MOVIE SO I WON'T SPOIL ANYTHING EXCEPT LIKE IN THE BACK OF WHERE'S WALDO, WATCH THIS MOVIE AND LOOK FOR THESE THINGS: FIRE MOOSE SPARKLE WHEAT RABBIT FORESHADOWING THE CAST OF TWILIGHT/ORGANIZATING XIII THE EASIEST MIT CLASS EVER STUFF RIPPED OFF FROM CONTACT OR SIGNS PS. I SWEAR TO GOD I HAVE NEVER HEARD ANYONE TALK ABOUT PHYSICAL DETERMINISM AS THE 'GOOD ONE' WHEN TALKING ABOUT THE NATURE OF THE UNIVERSE.

I MEAN THE MOVIE STOPPED BEING FUNNY AS SOON AS I TURNED 13 BUT I MEAN THIS MIGHT LITERALLY BE THE WORST SHOW I'VE EVER WATCHING. PS. IT WAS KINDA FUNNY THAT THEY DREW RICK MORANIS' CHARACTER AS A WEIRD LITTLE BABY MAN. TAKE THAT RICK MORANIS.

ONE TIME IN THE WEB 2.0 A BUNCH OF GIRLS MADE A GUILD IN SOME WORLD OF WARCRAFT THEN GOT HIRED TO KILL MEXICAN GIRLS THAT WERE MAKING IN GAME TEE-SHIRTS THEN THEY GOT REALLY FAT AND GOT DIABETES AND ORGANIZED THE MEXICAN GIRLS IN A UNION. PS. ALSO THEIR NECK FAT RUBBED TOGETHER AND TURNED BROWN.

ONE TIME IN THE WEB 2.0 FUTURE THERE WAS A BIG DISASTER AND IT KILLED EVERYONE ON EARTH EXCEPT SOME PEOPLE IN A DATA CENTER BECAUSE IT HAD POSITIVE AIR PRESSURE AND WOULDN'T LET A VIRUS IN AND SO EVERYONE READ WIKIPEDIA AND LOOKED ON FLICKER AND MADE A NEW SOCIETY AND CHANGED THE OS IN GOOGLE TO EARTHS WITH MUSHROOM CLOUDS COMING OUT. PS. ALSO THE GUY'S WIFE AND CHILD DIED AND THEN HE MET A PHARMACIST THAT WAS ALSO A WEB DESIGNER LIKE A WEEK LATER BECAUSE CORY DOCTOROW IS UNABLE TO WRITE CHARACTERS THAT AREN'T POINTLESSLY WEB 2.0 AND EVEN THE DEAD BABY WAS NAMED 2.0.

THE BEST PART WAS THAT IT NEVER RESOLVED ANYTHING WITH THE MOM OR THE DAUGHTER HATING THE MOM AND I GUESS THAT WAS JUST OKAY. NO THE BEST PART WAS THE HOCKEY CHOP THING AND HOW THEY ALL LEAP AROUND LIKE NINJAS. PS: THE CLEAR BEST PART WAS THE CARD AND THE LIST OF COMEBACKS.

IF YOU THINK ABOUT IT THIS WAS A SUPER CHEESEY MOVIE AND WOULD HAVE BEEN AWFUL IF IT WAS THE SAME STORY STARING KATE WINSLET AND HUE JACKMAN IN LA BUT IT WAS ABOUT POOR PEOPLE AND SO WAS GOOD AND MADE ME WANT CHAI. PS. I WAS PRETTY SURE D'TANNIAN WAS THE RIGHT ANSWER, BOY AM I DUMB

WHAT? PS: WHAT?

COR BLIMEY, I PLAYED THIS GAME AND IT TOOK 50 HOURS AND NOW I UNDERSTAND WHY JAPANESE PEOPLE LOVE THIS SERIES SO DAMN MUCH. PS. IT'S REALLY MORE A KIRK GAME.

THE BEST PART IS THAT THE DRAIN TUNNEL WAS LIKE 20 FEET LONG SO THERE WAS REALLY ABSOLUTELY NO DANGER IN IT FLOODING AND THEY BASICALLY KILLED THAT GUY FOR NO REASON. PS. THE BEST PART WAS WHEN THEY STARTED TO EXPLAIN SIC SEMPER TYRANNIS THEN THE GUY GOT REALLY MAD BECAUSE OF COURSE HE KNEW WHAT IT MEANS.