Capital Reviews

 Backrooms [movie] AS A MOVIE THIS IS LIKE C/C+. IT'S GOOD ENOUGH. BUT LIKE, AS A CONCEPT THE BACKROOMS ARE THE WORST THING THE INTERNET EVER DID, EVEN THE GUY THAT MADE THIS IS THE SOURCE OF A LOT OF THE WORST CONCEPTS. BUT LIKE, THIS MOVIE DOES SUCH A GOOD JOB THINKING UP A CONCEPTUAL THEME FOR A HORROR ABOUT LIMINAL SPACES I WANT TO LIKE, BITE THIS MOVIE, LIKE IT MAKES ME ANGRY HOW GOOD IT DOES. LIKE ACTING, STORY, PACING, WHATEVER, IT'S MEH, CONCEPT THAT THE SCARY PART OF THE BACKROOMS IS IT'S A MEMORY OF A MEMORY OF A MEMORY AND THAT THE MONSTER WOULD BE A SILENT HILL MONSTER BUT FOR A GUY WHO JUST WANTS TO RELITIGATE AN ARGUMENT AND BE TOLD HE WAS RIGHT ALL ALONG AND DOESN'T NEED TO CHANGE ANYTHING IS SO GOOD.  PS. I DON'T KNOW WHY IT SUPRISED ME SO MUCH, I IMAGINE THE RIGHTS TO A SONG THAT JUST SOME GUY MADE ON THE INTERNET IS LIKE 5 DOLLARS, BUT HAVING "THE CARETAKER" AS THE BACKGROUND MUSIC AT ONE POINT EXTREMELY GOT ME

 Hoppers [movie] I DON'T KNOW. THIS SEEMED FINE. I THINK IT HAD A LOT OF JOKES THAT WERE FUNNY, BUT THE CONCEPT OF 'WE CAN KILL THINGS CHEAPLY AND SUDDENLY FOR A GAG BECAUSE IT'S ANIMALS" WAS DONE BETTER IN WILD ROBOT, SO IT DIDN'T COME OFF AS SHOCKING. I DO LIKE HOW MUCH HORROR MOVIE IMAGERY THEY DID FOR INSECT KING. ALSO I HAVE SOME SORT OF PRIDE THAT I WATCHED THE FIRST HALF OF THIS AND THOUGHT "WHY IS THIS TRYING TO BE POM POKO" EVEN THOUGH NOTHING HAPPENING WAS ANYTHING LIKE POM POKO THEN I LOOKED UP EXACTLY ONE INTERVEIW ABOUT THIS AND IT WAS "HEY, WE TRIED TO MAKE POM POKO" PS. POTATO HOSPITAL MYSTERY SOLVED

 Vanishing World [book, audiobook] I LIKE THIS BOOK A LOT. IT STARTS OFF AS A KIND OF GENERIC "YOUNG PEOPLE IN JAPAN ARE DATING AND HAVING LESS SEX WHAT IF IN THE FUTURE THEY DIDN'T DATE OR HAVE SEX AT ALL, HUH!?" AND FELT LIKE IT WAS GOING TOWARDS BEING A WEIRD CONSERVATIVE GRIPE BOOK. IT THEN WENT THROUGH A SERIES OF DYSTOPIAN NEAR FUTURE ALTERNATE FAMILY STRUCTURES.  THE MAIN ONE BEING A WORLD EVERYONE GETS MARRIED AND YOUR WIFE IS FAMILY, AND HAVING SEX WITH FAMILY IS INCEST SO YOU HAVE TO DATE SOMEONE ELSE. AND I LIKE IT BECAUSE IT WAS A BLATANTLY STUPID IDEA BUT THE BOOK DID SUCH A GOOD JOB JUSTIFYING IT MAKING SENSE AS A THING PEOPLE WOULD DO. ALSO IT HAD GAY MARRIAGE BE ILLEGAL BECAUSE WITHOUT SEX MEN WOULD ONLY MARRY MEN BECAUSE MEN HATE WOMEN. THE GENERAL CONCLUSION ALSO WAS GOOD BECAUSE IT WAS LIKE 'HEY, THESE FUTURES SEEM REALLY BAD AND DYSTOPIAN AND I THINK THEY ARE, BUT LIKE, IF I GREW UP AND IT'D ALWAYS BEEN THIS WAY I'D THINK THE CURRENT WAY WE...

 Bumpy [movie] I DON'T EVEN HAVE A STEREOTYPE ABOUT WHAT AN ESTONIAN MOVIE IS BUT THIS IS CLEARLY THE MOST ESTONIAN MOVIE POSSIBLE. HONESTLY IT'S VERY WACKY BUT A LITTLE LESS WACKY THAN IT APPEARS BECAUSE IT IS VERY FAIRY TALE AND STICKS PRETTY WELL TO FAIRY TALE TYPE STUFF HAPPENING. I WILL SAY I REALLY LIKE HOW ANTI-SPANKING THIS MOVIE IS. IT HAS A WEIRD FAMILY GUY CUT AWAY TYPE SONG ABOUT NOT HITTING YOUR KIDS AND HOW LOVE IS BETTER THAN FEAR AND THEY CUT TO IT LIKE, 5 TIMES IN 10 MINUTES.  PS. I FEEL LIKE I COULD JUST SUBSCRIBE TO ETERNAL FAMILY, BUT I DON'T WANT THAT. I THINK IT WOULD FEEL REALLY BAD TO JUST SEE ALL OBSCURE WEIRDO MOVIES ALL AT ONCE LIKE THAT. I LIKE WHAT THEY ARE DOING VERY MUCH, BUT IT SEEMS LIKE TOO MUCH FOR ME. 

 Obsession [movie] THIS IS A GOOD HORROR MOVIE. I KINDA HOPE IT DOESN'T GET POPULAR BECAUSE I CAN JUST IMAGINE THE ONLINE DISCOURSE THIS MOVIE WOULD MAKE. LIKE IT'S A MOVIE WITH THE CORE 'WOULDN'T IT BE SCARY TO HAVE AN ABUSIVE GIRLFRIEND' AND I JUST KNOW HOW THE MANOSPHERE AND INCEL IDIOTS WILL GO WITH THAT BUT IT'S ALSO A MOVIE THAT IS EXTREMELY ON THE ABSOLUTE BODY HORROR BEING THE PERSON STRIPPED OF WILL AND FORCED TO BE A PRISONER IN YOUR OWN BODY AND I CAN JUST IMAGINE THE "WELL, IF YOU THINK ABOUT IT NIKKI IS THE REAL VICTIMS" POSTS, LIKE NO SHIT, THAT WAS WHAT THE MOVIE ALSO WAS. I DON'T KNOW. I HAVEN'T EVEN SEEN THIS CONVERSATION ANYWHERE. I CAN JUST SEE IT IN MY MIND SO CLEARLY I'M PRE-ANNOYED BY THIS THING I MADE UP.  PS. I LIKE THE WAY THE IT MADE FUN OF THE NEEDFUL THINGS TYPE STORE. I LIKE THE CONCEPT THAT WISHING WAS JUST STRAIGHTFORWARDLY REAL IN THIS WORLD BUT WAS LIKE, A FAD FROM THE 80S. LIKE WHEN THEY SHOWED THE SEARCH O...

 Buffet Infinity [movie, amazing] I *REALLY* LIKE THIS. CONCEPTUALLY IT'S JUST THE SAME SORT OF THING AS "TOO MANY COOKS" OR "THIS HOUSE HAS PEOPLE IN IT" (OR EVEN NIGHTVALE KELLOGG'S) BUT THAT IS A NEW ENOUGH GENRE THERE IS A LOT OF ROOM FOR NEW STUFF.  I LIKE HOW MOST OF THE COMMERCIALS GO ELDITCH INSANE BUT YOU CAN TELL LAWYER GUY IS JUST REGULAR WRONG AND AMMED IS JUST GOING MUNDANE CRAZY.  I DON'T KNOW, I REALLY LIKE THIS GENRE A LOT. (I THINK THE ACTUAL BUFFET INFINITY COMMERICALS WERE A LITTLE TOO SILLY AND I WISH THEY HAD KEPT THE SAME SILLY LEVEL AS THE OTHER STUFF BECAUSE THAT FELT LIKE IT WORKED, BUT THIS MOVIE RULED ANYWAY) PS. I LIKE HOW YOU CAN TELL ALL OF NORTH AMERICA SPAWNED THE EXACT SAME LOCAL COMMERICALS AT EXACTLY THE SAME TIME. WINTERPORT BOOT ALIEN.