Capital Reviews

 Futurama (Hulu Series) [television] I LIKED ORIGINAL RUN FUTURAMA WELL ENOUGH. I KINDA ACTIVELY DISLIKED THE MOVIES AND THEN THE COMEBACK SERIES WAS KINDA ACTIVELY BAD (ALTHOUGH IT STILL MANAGED TO HAVE SOME GOOD EPISODES, LIKE LATE PHILIP J FRY AND THE TIME STOP FINALE WERE BOTH SOME OF THE BEST EPISODES OF THE WHOLE SERIES). THIS IS THE THIRD COMEBACK. IT'S AMAZING HOW PERFECTLY THIS REPLICATES THE ORIGINAL IN A WAY THE OTHERS NEVER DID. THE ORIGINAL IS JUST OKAY SO THAT DOESN'T MEAN IT'S AMAZING, BUT IT'S AMAZING HOW MUCH THIS FIGURED OUT THE CORE OF EVERY FUTURAMA JOKE IS SOMEONE SAYING A WORD THEN SOMEONE ELSE SAYING THE SAME WORD ("LETS GO TO THIS EXPENSIVE RESTAURANT".... "THAT SOUNDS EXPENSIVE"). LIKE YOU DON'T EVEN THINK ABOUT IT BUT THAT WAS LIKE 75% OF THE JOKES IN THE ORIGINAL THEN TOTALLY WENT AWAY. NOW IT'S BACK AND IT'S SO OBVIOUS HOW CORE THAT WAS TO THE FUTURAMA FEEL. PS. FOR SOME REASON I REALLY LIKE THE WHITE HOLE EPIS...

 Without a Hero [book] BIG GAME: IT JUST FEELS LIKE THERE NEEDED TO BE MORE TO THIS STORY. LIKE GUY GOES TO CRAPPY SAFARI PARK TO HUNT CAPTIVE ANIMALS THEN IS STOMPED BY AN ELEPHANT. I DON'T KNOW, I GUESS. IS THE NAME A JOKE? IT'S A SMART JOKE IF IT IS, BUT IT'S NOT OBVIOUS IF THE BOOK IS THAT CLEVER. HOPE RISES: I REALLY WANTED TO LIKE THIS, IT FELT LIKE IT WAS GOING TO SAY SOMETHING, LIKE PARALLELLING THE DECLINE OF OLD AGE AND THE DEATH OF FROGS IN THE ENVIROMENT, OR WEIGHING IN ON IF "HOPE RISING" FROM WORMS GROWING IN SLUDGE IS OR IS NOT ACTUALLY GOOD. BUT THE STORY JUST ENDS WITH HIM FUCKING HIS WIFE WITH A BUNCH OF TOADS AROUND. MEH!! FILTHY WITH THINGS: THIS GOES ON A LONG TIME AND NOTHING HAPPENS. I WAS GOING TO SAY THE TWIST AT THE END WOULD HAVE BEEN A BETTER STORY BUT THEN THAT WAS THAT MOVIE I HATED SOOOO WITHOUT A HERO: DESPITE BEING THE TITLE STORY I DON'T REMEMBER WHAT HAPPENED IN THIS EVEN A LITTLE BIT. …..EH, WHO CARES? THERE WAS LOTS MORE AN...

 Dragon Age: The Veilguard [game] EH, THIS ISN'T NEARLY AS BAD AS I THOUGHT IT WOULD BE, BUT IT'S ALSO NOT GREAT. IT'S EXACTLY A GAME SOMEONE WOULD BE PLAYING ON A TV IN THE BACKGROUND OF A TV SHOW. IT'S FUNNY HOW DRAGON AGE IS A SERIES I FEEL LIKE I LIKE BUT IF YOU ASK ME WHICH GAME IT'S KINDA NONE OF THEM. I KINDA LIKE HOW THEY DID THE MASS EFFECT FINAL MISSION THING IN THIS BUT I PLAYED THIS REALLY HALF HEARTEDLY SO ALMOST EVERYONE JUST FLAT OUT DIES.  OH WELL! PS. MAN, I FEEL SO BAD, THE TAASH NONBINARY PLOTLINE SEEMED WAY TOO SILLY. IT WAS LIKE, WELL ENOUGH WRITING, AND FIT IN CONCEPTUALLY,  BUT YOU JUST GOTTA MAKE UP A FANTASY WORD OR SOMETHING, "NONBINARY" IS JUST NOT A COOL WORD FOR A DRAGON PERSON TO CALL THEMSELVES.

 Coyote Vs Acme [movie] YEAH, THIS IS REALLY GOOD. IT WAS A MOVIE THAT WAS COMPLETED THEN ENTIRELY BURIED AND DIDN'T COME OUT TILL YEARS LATER. I KINDA BUY THE CONSPIRACY THEORY ON WHY IT WAS BURIED. LIKE THE CONCLUSION OF THERE BEING A BIG CONSPIRACY THAT A BIG COMPANY JUST HURTS PEOPLE AND TAKES SMALL FINES AND JUST KEEPS DOING IT AND GETTING TO THE BIG CLIMACTIC TRIAL AND THEN THE BAD GUYS BEING LIKE "YEAH, SURE, WE DO, SO WHAT" AND CONGRESS DISMISSING THE CASE. THAT'S LIKE, BIG COMMENTARY.  (ON THE OTHER HAND THERE WAS KIDS IN THE THEATER AND THEY SOUNDED BORED OUT OF THEIR MINDS AND THAT IS PROBABLY THE REAL REASON THIS GOT SHELVED)  PS. HAVING PETER LORRE BE A CHARACTER IS A VERY FUNNY CONCEPT.  

 These Lifeless Things [book, audiobook] THIS IS A GOOD BOOK. IT'S A HIGH CONCEPT INTERDIMENSIONAL ALIEN INVASION SCI-FI, BUT SET IN A SMALL UKRANIAN CITY SOMEWHERE BETWEEN RUSSIA AND KIEV . THERE IS A FEW POINTS THEY HAVE TO FIGHT A SCARY SPACE MONSTER ALIEN BUT IT'S LARGELY JUST A SAD BEATEN DOWN SEIGE. WHICH JUST ISN'T A THING YOU SEE IN FICTION MUCH.  ON THE OTHER HAND, THE ENDING, OOF. I HATE IT SO MUCH. THE WHOLE BOOK SET IT UP SO MUCH, IT ABSOLUTELY COULDN'T HAVE BEEN ANY OTHER ENDING SO IT'S A GOOD ENDING, BUT IT MADE ME SO MAD.  PS. I HAVE NEVER THOUGHT ABOUT IT, BUT I BET THAT THE GRANDMA STEREOTYPES EXPRESSED HERE ARE PROBABLY PRETTY TRUE EASTERN EUROPEAN GRANDMA STEREOTYPES. I WILL SAY THE ONE PART I DIDN'T LIKE ABOUT THE ENDING IS IT CUT OFF SAYING ANYTHING ABOUT THE OTHER THEME THIS HAD SO HEAVILY, THAT BAD THINGS CHANGE YOU FOREVER AND IT PASSES DOWN THROUGH GENERATIONS. 

 The Buffalo Hunter Hunter [book, audiobook] I REALLY LIKE THIS BOOK. IT'S A NEBULA AWARD WINNER BUT NOT LIKE A *NEBULA AWARD WINNER*. MY FAVORITE PART IS THAT I COULD TELL THE AUTHOR HAD A PHD BY HOW MUCH IT WAS ABOUT LIKE, READING OLD DOCUMENTS WHERE ONE GUY IS WRITING DOWN ANOTHER GUY'S STORY (I THINK IT'S LIKE FIVE DEEP FRAME STORIES AT ONE POINT) AND JUST THE WAY IT WILL RANDOMLY BRING UP SOMEONE CORRECTING THE HISTORICAL INACCURACY. ) MY OTHER FAVORITE PART IS THE VAMPIRE SYSTEM JUST SEEMED WAY TOO SYSTEM HEAVY AND I KEPT WONDERING IF THIS WAS LIKE SOMEHOW BASED ON A VIDEOGAME OR SOMETHING THEN THE AUTHOR HAS A LITTLE ESSAY AT THE END AND EXPLAINS HE THOUGHT UP VAMPIRE RULES FOR LIKE TEN YEARS BEFORE ACTUALLY WRITING THIS AND YEAH, THAT TRACKS SO MUCH. ALSO I FEEL LIKE THIS WAS HEAVILY JOJO AJACENT BUT THE AUTHOR ALSO LIKE, CITED FINIUS AND FERB AT ONE POINT IN THE INSPIRTATIONS SECTION SO IT'S NOT LIKE THEY WOULD BE TOO EMBARASSED TO MENTION JOJO  PS. THE WORLD...