Capital Reviews

 Sunrise on the Reaping [book, audiobook] I HAVE COMPLICATED OPTIONS ABOUT HUNGER GAMES STUFF, LIKE, THEY ARE GOOD AND THEY SUCK AND THEY ARE REALLY GOOD AT THE SAME TIME. LIKE, THE SECOND THEY GET IN THE HUNGER GAMES ARENA IN ANY OF THE BOOKS IT'S PURE YA GARBAGE, WITH STUPID FORCE FIELDS AND WEASELS THAT EAT YOU AND EXPLODING LADY BUGS AND GIGGLE GAS OR WHATEVER. THE YA STUFF IS BETTER THAN LIKE, HARRY POTTER, BUT IT'S STILL KINDA WHATEVER. BUT THEN IT'S ALSO A BOOK AND A BOOK SERIES ABOUT PROPOGANDA, IN A REALLY IN DEPTH AND NUANCED WAY. IN A WAY THAT I CAN'T REALLY FEEL LIKE ANY 'ADULT' MEDIA THAT REALLY DEALS WITH TO THE SAME LEVEL.  I FEEL LIKE THAT IS SOMETHING I'VE MENTIONED A LOT LATELY. KIDS MEDIA BY VIRTUE OF FEELING MORE REQUIRED TO HAVE THEMES AND A MORAL SEEM MORE AND MORE DEALING WITH COMPLEX TOPICS, WHILE MORE MATURE MEDIA DOESN'T DO THAT? LIKE THIS REALLY DID LIKE GO THROUGH THE WHOLE SPECTRUM OF LIKE, TALKING ABOUT THE DIRECT 'PROPA...

 A Minecraft Movie [movie] THIS WAS A STUPID, ANNOYING, UGLY MOVIE BUT NOT REALLY AS STUPID AND ANNOYING AS THE TRAILERS MADE IT LOOK. IT'S ACTUALLY KINDA SHOCKING HOW MUCH IT WAS LITERALLY "WHAT IF THE NAPOLEON DYNAMITE GUY MADE A VIDEOGAME MOVIE" WHICH IT LITERALLY IS THAT, BUT YOU DON'T EXPECT HOW MUCH IT WAS GOING TO BE SO MUCH THAT. ALSO JACK BLACK IS WEIRD BAD CASTING, BUT HE GETS A PASS BECAUSE HE WAS THE NARRATOR IN THE "HEY, DID YOU KNOW ONE OF THE MINECRAFT BOOKS IS KINDA GOOD FOR NO APPARENT REASON" MINE CRAFT BOOK. OVERALL:  KINDA, MEH? WHATEVER? PS. I WATCHED THIS BECAUSE MY NEPHEW SEEMED SO DISAPPOINTED I DIDN'T SEE THIS YET. THERE WAS A LONG TIME WHERE LIKE, PROFESSIONALLY I JUST KINDA HAD TO KNOW STUFF KIDS LIKED AND VAUGELY KEEP UP ON IT. (SO I COULD EXPLAIN TO STAFF THAT THE KID DRAWING SCARY PICTURES OF A MONSTER SAYING THEY WERE GOING TO KILL JON IN AN EMAIL WAS AN INTERNET GARFIELD THING, NOT A THREAT TO THE VICE PRINCIPAL.) NOW I DO...

 Fortress Sol [book, audiobook] EH, I DIDN'T HATE THIS. I USUALLY LIST STEPHEN BAXTER AS MY FAVORITE AUTHOR BUT THE SECRET IS HE DOESN'T WANT TO WRITE SCI-FI, HE WANTS TO WRITE LARGE SCALE SPECULATIVE SCIENCE ESSAYS SO ALL HIS BOOKS ARE JUST "HERE IS THE POINT OF VIEW CHARACTER, OH, NOW THEY TURNED INTO A CRYSTAL AND ARE NEXT TO A ROBOT THAT KNOWS EVERYTHING SO THEY CAN FLY AROUND FOR A TRILLION YEARS AND DESCRIBE HOW THINGS WORK". THIS BOOK CLEARLY TRIED TO BE SOME ROMEO AND JULIET LOVE STORY THING BUT IT JUST REALLY WAS WAY TOO MUDDLED AND KEPT COMING UP WITH DIFFERENT PLOTS AND THEN FIZZLING OUT AND JUST NEVER REALLY GOT ANYWHERE. LIKE, WITHOUT THE SPACE ROBOT ELEMENT THEY HAD TO KEEP LOOKING THINGS UP ON SPACE WIKIPEDIA AND THERE WAS AN INTERESTING PART FOR A WHILE WITH THAT WHERE THEY KEPT LOOKING UP EACHOTHER'S CULTURES ON WIKIPEDIA THEN THE OTHER ONE WOULD BE ALL MAD ABOUT HOW INSENSITIVE THAT WAS AND HOW YOU COULDN'T SAY THAT OUT LOUD. THEN IT STOPPED ...

 Heartbeeps [movie] ONE TIME SOMEONE DREW SOME VENN DIAGRAM CIRCLES THAT WERE LIKE "HUMAN EXPERIENCE" AND "ANDREW'S EXPERIENCE" AND THEY WERE FULLY DISCONNECTED. I WATCHED THIS MOVIE SO I COULD MAKE SOME COMMENT ABOUT HOW THIS MOVIE IS THE SAME AND OPPOSITE AS "BLIGHT OF HUMANITY" AND THAT IS *NOTHING*.  THESE ARE NOT MOVIES ANYONE HAS SEEN OR CARES ABOUT. NO ONE IS WONDERING MY OPINIONS ON THE SIMILARITY AND DIFFERENCES BETWEEN A 0% RATED AMERICAN COMEDY WITH ROBOTS AND JERRY GARCIA'S ONLY SPEAKING ROLE AND A GERMAN MOVIE ABOUT RAPE AND MURDER WHERE A DWARF POOPS IRL ON CAMERA. THERE IS NOT ONE SINGLE PERSON ON EARTH WAITING FOR SOMEONE TO WRITE SOME ESSAY CONNECTING THE TWO.  PS. THIS MOVIE IS JUST NOT GOOD. I FEEL ENTIRELY SURE THE ROBOT PROPS ALL BROKE AND THEY HAD TO TAKE OUT LIKE A THIRD OF THE MOVIE. IT ENDS SO ABRUPTLY. 

 Blight of Humanity  [movie] I DON'T KNOW, THIS IS VERY LIKELY THE MOVIE WITH THE MOST EXPLICIT/GRAPHIC SHOCK STUFF I'VE EVER SEEN. THE PREMISE IS PRETTY LITERALLY JUST FILM ON THE MOST NICE DAY OF SUMMER THEN HAVE HORRIBLE STUFF.  I KIND OF HATE HOW IT ENDED. FOR LIKE 95% IT WAS ACTUALLY EARNING IT'S HORRIBLE STUFF WITH A PRETTY STRONG ARTISTIC MESSAGE. AS LONG AS THE DAD/DOCTOR/GOD/PROFESSOR GUY WAS DOING EVERYTHING THROUGH A "LOOK AT HIM GO", "WHY ARE YOU BEING SO DISRUPTIFUL", "YOU KNOW YOU CAN'T ALWAYS HAVE IT YOUR WAY" LENS IT WAS REALLY WORKING AS MEANING *SOMETHING* EVEN IF THAT WAS STILL ABSTRACT. AS SOON AS HE WAS HELPING/REACTING IT MADE IT JUST WAY MORE A DIRECT GROSS OUT FILM THAT SUCKS. I GUESS YOU COULD SAY SOME JESUS ALLEGORY? EH, MEH. PS. THIS HAD A BUNCH OF REAL ANIMAL DEATH. THAT SUCKS. I HATED THAT MORE THAN THE STUFF WITH THE ACTORS. THEY HIT A SALIMANDER WITH A STICK AND HIT A CRICKET WITH A DIFFERENT CRICKET AND THAT ...

 Cyberpunk 2077 [game] I HAVE A BAD HABIT OF PLAYING GAMES TOO EARLY, IN THIS ONE THE GAME LAUNCHED BAD THEN THEY PATCHED IT UNTIL IT WAS A COMPLETELY DIFFERENT GAME THEN PATCHED IT MORE TO JUST GO "JUST LET THEM DO COOL CRAP" THEN I PLAYED IT AND YEAH, IT'S EASY AS HECK, EVEN ON "HARD" BUT THATS FINE. IT'S PRETTY GOOD. ALSO THE GAME CRASHED AT THE END CREDITS AND I AM GOING TO ACCEPT THAT AS THE TRUE ENDING.  PS. I AM OBSESSED WITH HOW THIS DID DATING. MOST GAMES DO THE 'PLAYER SEXUAL' THING WHERE YOU CAN DATE EVERYONE NO MATTER WHAT EVEN IF IT DOESN'T MAKE SENSE (STRAIGHT ASTARION). THIS GAME DIDN'T DO THAT AND GAVE EVERYONE VERY STRICT REQUIREMENTS. BUT THE GAME GAVE A LOT OF GENDER OPTIONS.  SO THE MORE YOU THINK ABOUT WHO SOMEONE WILL OR WILL NOT DATE THE MORE COMPLICATED IT GETS. I KINDA LIKE THE IDEA IT'S JUST A FUTURE CYBERPUNK THING.