Anaconda [movie]

 Anaconda [movie]

MEH? IT FEELS LIKE THEY MADE THIS MOVIE WRONG. LIKE THEY HAD THREE IDEAS AND INSTEAD OF PICKING ONE THEY JUST MADE THEM IN ORDER AND MADE THAT THE MOVIE. LIKE THE FIRST THIRD IS A REALLY META THING ABOUT JACK BLACK'S CHARACTER IN UNIVERSE AQUIRING THE RIGHTS TO MAKE AN ANACONDA MOVIE AND IT BEING SOME SORT OF BE KIND REWIND REMAKE ABOUT ANACONDA. THEN THE MIDDLE PART IS A REALLY BORING ACTUAL REBOOT OF ANACONDA WITH SOME GOLD THEIF PLOTLINE THAT SUCKED. THEN THE LAST THIRD SUDDENLY BECAME EXTREMELY WACKY OVER THE TOP COMEDY? IT WAS JUST SUCH A WEIRD PROGRESSION OF THREE ALMOST ENTIRELY SEPORATE SEGMENTS.

PS. THE ONLY REALLY GOOD PART IS SOMEONE GETTING BITTEN BY A SPIDER, THEN SAYING THEY NEEDED TO PEE ON IT AND SOMEONE POINTING OUT THAT IS JELLYFISH NOT SPIDERS, THEN THE ANSWER BEING "IT WORKS ON ALL ANIMALS" AND THAT BEING THE SOLUTION. 

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