Capital Reviews

THIS MOVIE HAS SOME OF THE WORST DUBBING IVE EVER SEEN. "STOP EATING THAT BANANA WHILE YOUR CRYING!!!!" PS. THIS MOVIE WANTED TO 'THE THING' SO BAD.

I HELD THIS MOVIE AS SOME SORT OF SAFETY VALVE. LIKE IF DAYS GOT TO HOT THIS WAS AROUND SO I COULD GO SPEND LIKE 4 HOURS IN AN AIR CONDITIONED MOVIE BUT SEPTEMBER HAS COME AND I DIDN'T NEED IT SO I WATCHED IT AS SOME PIRATE THING WHILE READING. HONESTLY IT IS JUST A REGULAR NOT GREAT ACTION MOVIE LIKE THE FIRST ONE WAS, NOT A HORRIBLE TORTURE LIKE THE SECOND AND THIRD. I'D EVEN SAY I LIKED THE GALVATRON SUBPLOT BECAUSE IT WAS SOME GRADE A ANIME BULLSHIT. PS. WHAT IN GOD'S NAME WAS UP WITH THE IRISH PEDOPHILE THING? WHY DID IT NEED TO BE IN THE MOVIE? LIKE WHY NOT MAKE HER 18? WHY BRING IN SOME WEIRD TEXAS LAW EXPLANATION WHY AN ADULT IS SLEEPING WITH A CHILD? OR AT LEAST HAND WAVE THAT THEY ARE DATING BUT NOT FUCKING?

GOOD LORD THIS MOVIE SUCKED. I MEAN THE FIRST ONE WAS A BIT IFFY BUT THIS ONE WAS JUST A DISASTER. I MEAN I GET THAT INVOKING CLICHES IS A THING TO PULL UP A CERTAIN MOOD BUT GOOD LORD THERE IS A LINE. PS. THE BEST PART OF THE MOVIE WAS LAW AND ORDER BEING IN IT AND ALSO THE ALL STATE GUY?

I LOVE THIS AWFUL MOVIE. ITS A SLASHER MOVIE MUSICAL OPERA. THE SONGS ARE REAALY GOOD IN THEIR OWN DUMB WAY AND THE HORROR IS WICKED GORY AND MEATLOAF IS IN IT. AND I THINK THE END IS A REFERANCE TO PHANTASM. ALSO THE END CREDIT SONG IS HILARIOUS. PS. I LAUGHED EVERY TIME THEY SAID "OPERA GHOST"

REMEMBER HOW FINAL FANTASY 1 TRIED TO COPY DUNGEONS AND DRAGONS MAGIC BUT IT WAS A NES GAME SO IT COULDN'T QUITE. WELL LOOK WHO'S LAUGHING NOW! (IT'S PATHFINDER THAT IS LAUGHING BECAUSE THEY MADE IT WAY WAY MORE LIKE PATHFINDER, EXCEPT THE 'ADVANTAGE/DISADVANTAGE' THING WHICH TAKES SO MUCH MATH OUT OF D&D I FEEL SHOCKED THEY ALLOWED IT TO GET IN). ALSO I REALLY LIKE THAT THEY TOOK THE STANDARD "GENDER DOESN'T MATTER" PARAGRAPH THAT D&D BOOKS HAS HAD FOR A LONG TIME AND THEN JUST KINDA GOES "FUCK IT" AND GIVES A LITTLE SPEECH ABOUT HOW THEY DON'T CARE IF YOU WANT TO BE TRANSGENDERED OR AN INTERSEXED ELF OR SOMETHING. PS. I DON'T LIKE PLAYING D&D, IT'S NOT VERY FUN. YEARS AND YEARS AGO, DURING SOME OF THE BEST TIMES OF MY ENTIRE LIFE I WAS TOTALLY UNRELATEDLY READING SOME BIG PILE OF D&D BOOKS SOMEONE HAD AND MY BRAIN VERY CLEARLY TOOK THAT AS CAUSE AND EFFECT AND NOW I ALWAYS READ D&D RULE BOOKS TO TRY AND REC...

I LIKE TOADS, I REALLY LIKE TOADS, THEY ARE ONE OF THE TOP TEN BEST ANIMALS. IT REALLY SUCKS THAT THESE ARE POISON AND KILL ANIMALS BECAUSE DAMN I'D LOVE TO LIVE SOMEWHERE THAT WAS JUST FULL OF BIG DUMB TOADS. I LOVED THE FACT THERE IS DRUG ADDICT DOGS THOUGH. PS. THE PART WHERE IT WAS EXPLAINING BRINGING THEM TO AUSTRALIA TO KILL CANE BEETLES AND IT NOT WORKING THEN IT JUST BEING A CLOSEUP OF A TOAD FACE AND A CAPTION THAT SAID 'CANE TOADS WERE A FAILURE" MADE ME LAUGH EXTREMELY HARD OUT LOUD.

OKAY, SO THIS IS A MOVIE AND SHE KNOWS SHE IS MAKING A MOVIE SO I CAN WRITE IT OFF AS HER DOING A BIT BUT I DON'T KNOW, THIS IS THE MOST UNCOMFORTABLE TO WATCH MOVIE EVER. I JUST MADE WEIRD SPUTTERY F SOUNDS WITH MY MOUTH FOR A WHILE AFTER THE SCENE SHE TALKED ABOUT MONKEY AND ABORTION. FUCK, WHAT? VENTHAVEN ITSELF WAS SUPER CREEPY. THE PART SHE DROWNED GRANDMA IS SUPER CREEPY. THE FACT THAT I WROTE THIS WHOLE REVIEW THEN REALIZED NO ONE READING IT HAS ANY IDEA WHAT THIS IS A DOCUMENTARY ABOUT FROM MY DESCRIPTION IS CREEPY. PS. THE GUY BIFRICATING WAS A THING I NEVER HAVE SEEN BEFORE AND IT WAS SUPER CREEPY.