Capital Reviews

I LIKED THIS MOVIE QUITE A BIT BUT MAN DID THIS MOVIE HAVE A SHORT ATTENTION SPAN. LIKE FIRST IT WAS LIKE A SCIFI THAT WAS LIKE 'WHAT IF ENGLAND HAD SOCIAL CLASSES BASED ON LUCK' THEN IT WAS ABOUT HAVING A CRUSH ON A GIRL WITH AUTISM, THEN IT WAS LIKE CELL PHONE BASED SCIENCE DRAMA, THEN IT WAS ABOUT WHAT THE GOVERNMENT WOULD DO IF MIND CONTROL WAS INVENTED, THEN IT WAS ABOUT FREE WILL WITH AN OMNICENTIENCE. LIKE EVERY TIME THE WRITER THOUGHT OF A NEW ASPECT TO THEIR STORY THEY TOTALLY SWITCHED GEARS AND IT WAS REALLY WEIRD.     PS. I DIDN'T REALLY GET WHY EVERYONE HAD WEIRD INVENTOR NAMES.

I FEEL LIKE I HAVE ZERO SYMPATHY FOR NEWSPAPER COMICS DYING, THEY ARE BASICALLY ALL GARBAGE. I LIKE THAT THIS HAD LIKE ONE LINE SORTA GETTING CLOSE TO SAYING IT AND MENTIONING 'SOME PEOPLE' SAY IT'S TOO HARD FOR NEW ARTISTS TO GET IN BECAUSE THE LIMITED PAPER SPACE IS ALL CHOKED WITH BEATLE BAILY AND SALLY FORTH BUT YOU KNOW THEY DIDN'T WANT TO GO TOO INTO THAT BECAUSE THIS DOCUMENTARY HAD A TON OF ACCESS TO A TON OF CELEBRITY CARTOONISTS. PS. ALSO THIS MOVIE USED SUPER MARIO SOUND EFFECTS A FEW TIME AND THAT IS REAL WEIRD.

I DON'T EVEN UNDERSTAND WHY ANYONE WOULD MAKE THIS MOVIE. WHO WOULD EVEN THINK OF THIS PREMISE TO EVEN MAKE A MOVIE? IT'S NOT EVEN LIKE THEY MAKE IT INTO A METAPHOR OR ANYTHING. EVERYTHING IS JUST THIS WEIRD BIZARRE PREMISE THAT THEY SET UP AND NEVER REALLY EXPLORE. PS. SO LIKE, WHAT WAS THE GRANDMA'S ARC? HE USED HER AS AN EXAMPLE OF SOMEONE THAT HAD A DULL ORDINARY LIFE HE WOULDN'T WANT THEN SHE HAS A SPECIAL POWER BUT THEN IT SEEMS TO COME DOWN THAT SHE HAS FAILED TO LIVE UP TO HER ANCESTORS AND DID HAVE A FAILED UNREMARKABLE LIFE. IS EATING FROZEN CARROTS SUPPOSED TO BE SOMETHING WE UNDERSTAND WILL REVOLUTIONIZE THE WORLD?

I PLAYED THIS GAME FOR 23 HOURS, 3 OF THEM TO GET TO THE LAST LEVEL AND 20 OF THEM TRYING TO GET THROUGH THE LAST LEVEL AND KILL THE LAST 2 BOSSES, AT THE END I BEAT THE BOSS BUT DIED AFTER HE DID SO I PUT IT IN EASY MODE AND BEAT IT THAT WAY IN LIKE 15 MINUTES. SO WELP. PS. THIS GAME WAS REALLY FUN BUT I JUST HAVE NO RHYTHM. 

THE BEST PART OF THIS BOOK IS THAT THERE IS AT LEAST 3 SEPARATE CONVERSATIONS IN THE BOOK ABOUT HOW STUPID THE NAME PINHEAD IS AND HOW YOU SHOULDN'T SAY IT THEN THEY SPEND THE REST OF THE BOOK CALLING HIM LIKE NAILHEAD AND PINFUCK AND STUFF THAT AREN'T PINHEAD. ALSO DAMN THIS BOOK IS THE MOST FAN SERVICE BOOK EVER WRITTEN EVER BUT IT DOESN'T EVEN MATTER BECAUSE IT'S SO FRIGGIN GOOD. PS. THE WHOLE LAST THIRD OF THIS IS LIKE CLIVE JUST PLAYED A BUNCH OF HOURS OF DIABLO II WHILE WATCHING ANIME OR SOMETHING.

I LIKE THAT NIX'S EVIL PLAN IS THE STANDARD MONSTER PLAN OF DESTROYING THE EARTH BUT THE ACTUAL EVENTS OF THE ENTIRE MOVIE ARE BECAUSE HIS PLAN ALSO INCLUDES HIM HAVING A WEIRD CRUSH ON SOME PUDGY PONYTAIL GUY. I ALSO LIKE THAT HIS SPECIAL SECRET WEAKNESS IS "SHOOTING HIM IN THE HEAD". PS. I AM HOPING SOMEONE KNOWS WHAT REASON IT IS I DECIDED I NEEDED TO REWATCH THIS RIGHT NOW BUT I BET NOT.

I MEAN COME ON NEBULA AWARDS, THIS ISN'T REALLY A SCI-FI STORY, THIS IS KINDA MORE LIKE A POEM OR SOMETHING. NO ONE IS ACTUALLY A DINOSAUR, IT'S LIKE A LOVE SONG THAT SAYS SOMEONE IS LIKE A ROSE DOESN'T ACTUALLY MEAN THE STORY IS SOME LOVE FANTASY STORY ABOUT SOMEONE WHO IS A ROSE. PS. I MEAN THE TWIST WAS KINDA UNEXPECTED I GUESS? THIS STORY IS UNCOMFORTABLE IN THAT THE FIRST PART WAS SO DUMB I DIDN'T SEE THE END COMING?

I WATCHED THIS IN HOPES IT WOULD BE FUNNY BAD BUT IT WAS REALLY JUST REGULAR BAD. PS. THERE WAS A BUNCH OF PARTS YOU COULD TELL THE DIRECTOR HAD ANIME SENSIBILITIES BUT NOT THE BUDGET TO PULL HIS EFFECTS OFF

THIS MOVIE WAS REAL SHORT AND NOT MUCH HAPPENED IT WAS MORE A SETUP THAN AN EXECUTION OF A MOVIE. IT WAS A NEAT IDEA THOUGH, LIKE RADIATION IS SUPER FATAL BUT STANDING IN FATAL LEVELS DOESN'T HAVE IMMEDIATE EFFECTS SO YOU COULD TOTALLY HAVE A FINAL PARTY IN A RADIATION FIELD I GUESS. PS. IT'S WEIRD THEY HAD ALL THE MICROWAVE YOUR HEAD TO GET HIGH SCENES BECAUSE THIS MOVIE SEEMS LIKE IT HAD NO BUDGET AND THE EFFECTS FOR THAT SEEMED LIKE THE ONLY THING IN THE WHOLE FILM THAT COST MONEY WHILE BEING A DUMB PART OF THE MOVIE.

HOLY CRAP, WHEN PEOPLE SAID THIS MOVIE WAS ALL CAR CHASE I ASSUMED THAT MEANT "THIS MOVIE HAS MANY CAR CHASES' BUT NO, THIS MOVIE IS LITERALLY ALL CAR CHASE, MAYBE 15 MINUTES OF THE ENTIRE FILM ISN'T JUST THE NOT GONNA GET US TATU VIDEO. I THINK THAT IF IT WAS JUST LOTS OF CHASES IT WOULD HAVE GOTTEN OLD BUT THE FACT IT WAS MADE SO TOTAL MADE THE MOVIE INTO SOMETHING REALLY UNIQUE THAT NO OTHER MOVIE HAS EVER BEEN. THIS MOVIE DOES AN AMAZING JOB OF CAPTURING THE MAD MAX FEELING WITHOUT JUST REDOING EVERYTHING FROM THE OTHER ONES. PS. I LOVE THAT FURIOSA IS CLEARLY THE MAIN CHARACTER AND THEN NOZ THE WARBOY IS A DISTANT SECOND WITH HIS OWN STORY ARC THEN MAX BARELY DOES OR SAYS ANYTHING AND BASICALLY HAS NO ACTUAL RELEVANCE TO THE PLOT.

OF COURSE I'VE SEEN THIS BEFORE BUT IT'S BEEN A LONG TIME. LET US JUST FOCUS ON ONE POINT THOUGH: NONE OF THE PLOT IN ANY WAY RESOLVES THE ISSUE OF TOTO'S EXECUTION. HE RAN AWAY AND CAME BACK HOME BUT THE SHERIFF HAS STILL REQUESTED TO HAVE HIM TO DESTROY HIM AND NOTHING THAT HAPPENS IN ANY WAY FIXED THAT. PS. I FORGOT THE LION SAYS "I'M A DANDY LION" AND I THOUGHT THAT WAS A FUNNY JOKE.

OH GOD, THIS MOVIE CAME OUT IN 1934 WHEN A CONSTRUCTION WORKER FOUND A CAMERA IN A BARN OR SOMETHING AND THEY MADE AN INCOHERENT HORROR SCI-FI BOOBIE MOVIE. ALSO EVERY SINGLE PLOT POINT SOMEHOW INVOLVES CATS. LIKE DIFFERENT CATS IN DIFFERENT CAPACITIES (CATPACITIES). LIKE SOME FIGHTING CATS SCARE HIM AND MAKE HIM FAIL THE CORPSE THEFT THAT STARTS THE PLOTS, THE CAT EATS THE HUMAN HEART THEY NEEDED, THE CAT GIVES HIM AWAY IN THE END, THE NEIGHBOR MAKES MONEY WITH A BIZARRE THERMODYNAMICS DEFYING BUSINESS INVOLVING FEEDING RATS TO CATS AND THEN SKINNING THE CATS AND FEEDING THE CORPSES TO RATS TO GET FREE CAT SKIN. PS. THE MAIN CHARACTER BEATS UP A CAT AND IT'S EYES POP OUT THEN HE EATS THE EYE. FOR NO FRIGGIN REASON!

AFTER IRL YEARS OF TRYING TO FIND THIS MOVIE I FINALLY GOT TO WATCH IT. HOLY MOUNTAIN IS LITERALLY MY FAVORITE MOVIE AND THIS IS A REMAKE OF THAT MADE WITH FOUND FOOTAGE OF DOGS. THIS MOVIE IS SO AMAZING IT MADE MY PHYSICALLY FEEL ILL TO WATCH IT. IT'S GREAT HOW MANY CHRISTIAN THEMED, DOG BASED MOVIES THERE ARE AND HOW THAT TOTALLY SUPPORTED THE CONCEPT TO MAKE THIS FILM.   PS. IT'S REALLY WEIRD THERE WAS NO FROG/LIZARD SPANISH/AZTECS SCENE, THAT IS ONE OF THE MOST ICONIC SCENES FROM HOLY MOUNTAIN AND IT COULDN'T BE IMPOSSIBLE TO FIND VIDEO OF A DOG AND A FROG, OR A DOG DRESSED AS A FROG OR SOMETHING LIKE THAT, RIGHT?

MARVEL JUST DECIDED TO MAKE DIABLO II. IT'S NOT NEARLY AS GOOD AS DIABLO II BUT IS MAYBE BETTER THAN DIABLO III? IT'S ALSO FREE TO PLAY AND ONE OF THE LEAST OFFENSIVE FREE TO PLAY MODELS I'VE SEEN. THE ONLY BIG COMPLAINT I HAVE IS THAT THEY MAKE A BILLION ONE HIT ENEMIES BETWEEN THE REAL ENEMIES AND I'M SURE IT'S TO PORTRAY HOW STRONG A HERO IS BUT IT MAKES WALKING SOMETIMES TEDIOUS IF YOU CAN'T FLY. BUT IT'S A GOOD GAME AND YOU SHOULD PROBABLY PLAY IT. PS. IT'S MARVEL HEROES 2015 EVEN THOUGH IT CAME OUT IN 2013 BECAUSE APPARENTLY IT WAS TERRIBLE AT LAUNCH AND THEY WANTED TO RENAME IT SO IT COULD GET A NEW METACRITIC SCORE.

THIS WAS A HIP HOP SCI FI MUSICAL CONCEPT ALBUM MUSIC VIDEO THING ABOUT A DENTIST FIGHTING AN EMPIRE OF WORMY BABIES AND I ENDED UP LIKING IT A REASONABLE AMOUNT. PS. IT WAS GREAT BECAUSE THIS WAS 15 YEARS OLD BUT THEN ALSO RETRO THEMED AND IT MADE IT IMPOSSIBLE TO PICK WHAT WAS INTENTIONALLY RETRO AND WHAT WAS CONTEMPORARY BUT OUTDATED.

I LIKED THE QUESTION ABOUT THE ELEVATOR, I LIKED EGGSHELL-SIOR, I LIKED THE CAPTAIN AMERICA LANGUAGE JOKE RUNNING SO LONG. I DID NOT LIKE MAGNITO'S KIDS BEING IN THIS AND DO NOT WANT TO WATCH AN X-MEN V AVENGERS MOVIE IN A COUPLE OF YEARS EVEN IF WOLVERINE FIGHTING THE HULK IS SOME DUMB ICONIC THING. PS. I LIKE THAT ULTRON'S VOICE SEEMED LIKE AN IMPERSONATION OF SPACE GHOST DOING AN IMPERSONATION OF TOM WAITS.