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Showing posts from September, 2019

Between Two Ferns: The Movie [movie]

Between Two Ferns: The Movie [movie] MEH? I DON'T KNOW, THIS JUST FELT LIKE NOTHING. IT FELT LIKE THAT TIM AND ERIC MOVIE, OR THE KIDS IN THE HALL MOVIE, WHERE SHORT FORM STUFF CAN'T TURN INTO A FULL MOVIE. IT WASN'T TERRIBLE BUT LIKE, MEH? PS. THE REAL SHOW INTERVIEWS ARE PLANNED TOO AND NOT ENTIRELY REAL, BUT THE INTERVIEWS HERE FELT EXTREMELY SCRIPTED AS PART OF THE MOVIE IN THIS AND THAT MADE THEM NOT NEARLY AS FUNNY.

Fire Emblem: Three Houses [game]

Fire Emblem: Three Houses [game] THIS GAME IS SO FRIGGIN GOOD. IT'S GOT SO MUCH FRIGGIN CONTENT THOUGH, LIKE, WHO EVEN MADE A GAME HAVE THIS MUCH STUFF IN IT? THERE ARE THREE SEPARATE ENTIRE STORIES, AND THEN A FOURTH VAGUELY SECRET STORY. EVERY SINGLE CHARACTER HAS LIKE AT LEAST 4 LITTLE CUT SCENES WITH EVERY OTHER CHARACTER, I LOVE THAT I ONLY LIKED THE ACTUAL COMBAT LIKE OKAY, BUT WAS EXTREMELY INTO ALL THE LEVELING UP STUFF AND THE MILLION PERSONAL STORYLINES. THE END GAME IS KINDA WAY WORSE THOUGH, MOST OF THE GAME EVERYONE HAS A BUNCH OF CLASSES THEY COULD BE THAT FIT THEM, ALL THE MASTER CLASSES ARE SPECIALIZED IN WAYS THAT DON'T FIT ANYONE'S PERSONALITY AND EVERYONE BEING A CLASS I THOUGHT THEY WOULD LIKE WAS SO IMPORTANT TO ME THAT I HAD TO BEAT THE LAST MISSIONS WITH 'ADVANCED' CLASSES WHICH IS EXTREMELY SILLY. PS. I PLAYED THE GOLDEN DEER PATH THEN THE SECRET BLACK EAGLE PATH. I'M 80 HOURS IN, I JUST CAN'T DO THE OTHER TWO PATHS. I CAN'T.

Hustlers [movie]

Hustlers [movie] THIS MOVIE DID NOT HAVE THE SAME INSANITY ENERGY THAT SPRING BREAKERS DOES SO IT'S NOT AS GOOD, BUT EVERYTHING ABOUT THIS HAD A LITTLE BIT OF SPRING BREAKERS FEELING TO IT SO IT WAS STILL GOOD. PS. THE BEST PART IS ME GETTING ANNOYED AT HOW MUCH KETOMINE THEY ARE EATING THEN THE NEXT SCENE BEING THEM ALL COLLAPSED IN A PILE.

Toy Story 4 [movie]

Toy Story 4 [movie] THIS MOVIE FELT WEIRDLY WEIGHTLESS, LIKE NOTHING MATTERED. NOTHING FELT LIKE IT HAD ANY CONSEQUENCES LIKE A TV SPECIAL FOR A MOVIE OR SOMETHING. LIKE YOU'D THINK GABBY GABBY STEALING WOODY'S ORGANS WOULD HAVE MATTERED BUT I GUESS NOT? PS. PEOPLE WERE JOKING ABOUT THIS BEING A WEIRD TOY SINGULARITY MOVIE BUT IT REALLY KINDA FELT LIKE IT WAS. LIKE EVERY MOVIE THEY OPERATE MORE OPENLY AND FREELY, AND IN THIS MOVIE THEY HAVE LIKE, THEIR OWN CIVILIZATION RATS OF RIHM STYLE.

Tall Girl [movie]

Tall Girl [movie] THIS IS BRIEFLY SO BAD IT'S GOOD BUT IS MOSTLY JUST SO BAD IT GETS BORING PRETTY FAST. PS. LIKE ALL THE LOGIC OF THE MOVIE WAS REALLY WEIRD AND THE WRITING WAS BAD BUT IT JUST WASN'T QUITE THERE TO BE GOOD/BAD ENOUGH TO WATCH IRONICALLY.

unfuck your brain [book]

unfuck your brain [book] I AM WRITING A REVIEW SO THIS CAN COME UP IN MY YEAR END BOOK COUNT BUT I'M NOT GONNA POST IT TO FACEBOOK BECAUSE IT'S BORING. SO IF YOU SEE THIS HERE I GUESS YOU ARE JUST IN ON OUR LITTLE SECRET THAT I READ A BUNCH OF SELF HELP BOOKS? PS. I BOUGHT THAT HUMBLE BUNDLE OF SELF HELP BOOKS BUT IT'S TOO WEIRD TO KEEP POSTING ABOUT THEM

IT Chapter Two [movie]

IT Chapter Two [movie] NO ONE IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD HAS EVER LIKED 'IT PART TWO' PAST THE FIRST PART WHERE IT SAYS WHAT EVERYONE GREW UP TO BE AND THIS MOVIE ISN'T AS GOOD AS THE FIRST PART, BUT MAN, THIS ISN'T BAD AT ALL AND IS PROBABLY THE BEST YOU COULD DO WITH THE STORY. ALSO I AM DYING AT THE WEIRD "STEVEN KING IS BAD AT ENDINGS" THING THEY KEPT DOING, IT WAS SO MERCILESS, IT'S ABSOLUTELY TRUE BUT AT SOME POINT IT FELT LIKE THEY WERE BULLYING STEVEN KING WITH A MOVIE. (SPEAKING OF BULLYING, DID ANYONE ELSE FEEL BAD WHEN THEY DEFEATED 'IT' WITH THE POWER OF BULLYING? LIKE I MEAN, NOT MORALLY BOTHER YOU, JUST LIKE, PERSONALLY FEEL BAD FOR AWFUL SPACE SPIDER BEING CYBERBULLIED IRL) PS. I KNOW IT'S NOT HOW IT WENT IN THE BOOK BUT I WANTED SO MUCH FOR BILL HADER TO SAY "I'M GAY' AND PUNCH 'IT' IN THE FACE. IT REALLY FELT LIKE THEY WERE SETTING THAT UP. LIKE THEY BUILD UP TO IT LIKE IT'S A MOMENT THEN JUST KIND

Steven Universe: The Movie [movie]

Steven Universe: The Movie [movie] I ABSOLUTELY ABSOLUTELY LOVE HOW GOOD THE SUBVERSION OF A FORMULA THIS IS. AFTER SO MANY EPISODES THEY HAVE DONE THE 'STEVEN TURNS THE ENEMY GOOD' THING SO MANY TIMES THAT OF COURSE THE ABSOLUTE PERFECT IDEA FOR A MOVIE IS THAT HAPPENING INSTANTLY 2 MINUTES INTO THE STORY AND THEN GOING THROUGH AND HAVING TO UNDO IT,  (WITH THE LARGER IDEA THAT JUST REMOVING SOMEONE'S TRAUMA TAKES AWAY WHO THEY ARE, AND YOU HAVE TO HAVE THAT TOO, TO CHANGE) PS. I LOVE EVEN MORE THAT THEY GOT A BIGGER ANIMATION BUDGET SO THE ANTAGONIST IS JUST.... 'ANIMATION'.

Coping Skills [book, nonfiction]

Coping Skills [book, nonfiction] THE TONE OF THE AUTHOR WITH COOL ADULT TALKING TO HIP 22 YEAR OLD TEEN GIRLS IS ABSOLUTELY UNBEARABLE, BUT I KINDA REALLY REALLY LIKE THIS BOOK.  PS. I THINK I LIKE SELF HELP BOOKS THAT ARE BAD GARBAGE ADVICE AND START WITH THE ASSUMPTION THAT IF YOU COULD DO THINGS RIGHT DIRECTLY YOU WOULDN'T OWN A SELF HELP BOOK.

Artemis [book]

Artemis [book] THIS BOOK IS SO WEIRD, IT'S THE "THE MARTIAN" GUY SO IT WANTS TO BE HARD REALISTIC SCIENCE BUT THE SCALE OF EVERY SINGLE THING SEEMS OFF. LIKE JAZZ IS SUCH A DANGEROUS TERRORIST AND IS DOING THINGS THAT ARE SO ABSURDLY AWFUL BUT EVERYONE JUST LAUGHS IT OFF BECAUSE SHE'S THE PROTAGONIST, AND LIKE, I GUESS FIBER OPTIC GLASS IS A GOOD SCIFI MCGUFFIN FOR A PLOT BUT IT FEELS SO "SMALL", LIKE WHO CARES? AND LIKE I INHERENTLY DON'T WANT BRAZILIAN GANGSTERS TO TAKE OVER THE MOON BUT ARTEMIS SEEMS TO FLAT OUT SUCK AND BE A POVERTY FILLED NIGHTMARE SO I DON'T REALLY CARE TO ROOT ONE WAY OR ANOTHER WHO WILL OWN THE ALUMINUM INDUSTRY. LIKE THE BOOK ISN'T BAD BUT THE STAKES OF EVERYTHING IS EITHER "WHO CARES?" OR "WHY ISN'T ANYONE CARING ABOUT THIS!" PS. AN AUTHOR WITH MY INITIALS, I GUESS.