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Showing posts from March, 2019

Us [movie, amazing]

Us [movie, amazing] THIS MOVIE IS JUST REALLY EXCEPTIONALLY GOOD. THE WHOLE THING IS JUST REALLY OUTSTANDING. IT KINDA GETS BOGGED DOWN INTO DOOFYNESS WHEN THEY START TO KINDA EXPLAIN THINGS NEAR THE END BUT THEY MAINTAIN A GOOD ATMOSPHERE EVEN THEN THAT MAKES IT ACCEPTABLE. I REALLY DO LIKE THAT THEY ARE PEOPLE IN A HORROR MOVIE THAT SEEM TO LARGELY ACT FAIRLY SMARTLY, THERE IS VERY FEW TIMES THEY ARE CAUSING THEIR OWN TROUBLE AND THOSE TIMES MAKE SENSE. ALSO YOU MAY HAVE HEARD THIS HAS AN ALL BLACK CAST, BUT THIS IS NOT THE CASE, IT ALSO HAS TIM HEIDECKER MAKING WEIRD DINOSAUR NOISES WITH HIS THROAT. PS. A GROUP OF TEENS IN THE THEATER I SAW THIS WITH SEEMED TO BE CRYING, WITH ONE GIRL ESPECIALLY UPSET AND AT A PARTICULARLY SCARY PART SHE SAID "I NEED TO GET OUT OF HERE, I NEED TO GO HOME" REALLY LOUD AND THEN THEY ALL LEFT AND THAT IS MY REVIEW OF THIS VERY SCARY MOVIE.

Life Sucks [play]

Life Sucks [play] OH YEAH, I NEVER ACTUALLY WROTE A REVIEW OF THIS. IT WAS A HIP ENGLISH REMAKE OF UNCLE VANYA BY CHEKHOV AND I LOVE THAT IT HAD SOMEONE PULL A GUN OUT OF NO WHERE. THIS WAS A VERY GOOD PLAY AND THE ONLY MAJOR FLAW WAS THAT A MAJOR PLOT POINT WAS ONE WOMAN BEING VERY ATTRACTIVE AND ONE BEING UGLY AND THEY HIRED ACTRESSES THAT WERE LITERALLY EXACTLY EQUALLY ATTRACTIVE SO YOU JUST HAD TO REMEMBER ONE WAS UGLY. PS. "THIS PLAY IS HARD"

Love, Death & Robots [television]

Love, Death & Robots [television] THIS IS AN ANTHOLOGY SO OF COURSE THE QUALITY IS VARIABLE AND SOME WERE FORGETTABLE, OR JUST EXACTLY LONG ENOUGH TO DO WHATEVER TWIST GIMMICK THEY WERE GOING FOR AND A TON OF THEM SEEMED TO BE UNREPENTANTLY STEALING FROM STUFF (GENESIS TUB IS JUST A REMAKE OF LITTLE PEOPLE, BUT ICE AGE IS REALLY REALLY A REMAKE OF GENESIS TUB) BUT OVERALL THESE WERE ALMOST SHOCKINGLY GOOD, I LIKED ALMOST EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THESE OVERALL AND A BUNCH OF THEM WERE SUPER GOOD. PS. I FEEL LIKE THERE WAS SOME WEIRD CONTRACT THING WITH MATURITY LEVEL, LIKE THIS IS M RATED AND IT FEELS LIKE SOME OF THEM HAD SOME CONTRACT THAT SAID THEY HAD TO HAVE RANDOM NUDITY TO UP THE ADULTNESS FACTOR, THEN OTHERS HAD THIS WEIRD LOOK WHERE YOU COULD TELL THEY PASTED IN OPAQUE PUBIC HAIR OVER THE LADIES. LIKE THEY WERE CALLING UP ALL THE CARTOONS AND TELLING THEM TO PUT MORE OR LESS NUDITY AND HAD AN EXACT MANDATED AMOUNT OF NUDITY FOR THIS EDGY ADULT BUT NOT TOO EDGY OR TOO ADULT A

Mario + Rabbids Kingdom Battle [game]

Mario + Rabbids Kingdom Battle [game] THIS GAME IS WEIRD BECAUSE IT SHOULD BE ABSOLUTELY TERRIBLE BUT IT'S LIKE, ALRIGHT? RABBIDS ARE THE WORST THING ON EARTH AND THE RABBIDS TEAM ISN'T WHO I WANT TO MAKE AN X-COM GAME. BUT LIKE, THIS GAME IS FINE? STUFF LIKE THE TOM PHAN FIGHT ESPECIALLY MAKE THIS FEEL LIKE SOMETHING WHERE SOMEONE PUT THEIR ENTIRE HEART INTO MAKING IT AND LIKE IT KINDA SUCKED BUT IT WAS CLEARLY SOMEONE TRYING REALLY REALLY HARD. MY FAVORITE THING IS THAT LUIGI IS LIKE TEN BILLION TIMES STRONGER THAN EVERY OTHER CHARACTER AND THE GAME DOESN'T DIRECTLY MENTION THAT BUT DOES PUT LUIGI LIMITERS ON PARTY COMPOSITION. PS. MARIO SHOULDN'T SAY ASS OR HELL AND SHOULDN'T GET SHOT BY TITTY GUNS.

Captain Marvel [movie]

Captain Marvel [movie] THIS ONE IS REAL WEIRD. THE FIRST HOUR AND 15 MINUTES IS JUST ABSOLUTELY UTTERLY CHARMLESS. IT'S LIKE THE DEFINITION OF TECHNICALLY PROFICIENT BUT HEARTLESS FILM MAKING. WITH LIKE ONE CUTE LINE (YOU ARE OBJECTIVELY PHYSICALLY ATTRACTIVE/THANK YOU) THEN THERE IS A SHIFT IN THE PLOTTING OF THE MOVIE AND AFTER THAT THE MOVIE IS GREAT. MARVEL IS A VERY THOR LIKE CHARACTER AND THE FIRST TWO THOR MOVIES WERE CHORES TO WATCH THEN EVERYONE LOVED THE LAST ONE AND IT ALMOST FEELS LIKE SOMEONE WAS TRYING TO INVOKE THAT IN FAST MOTION OR SOMETHING. PS. ON THE OTHER HAND, YIKES, THAT HAD SOME PRETTY DIRE QUEERBAITING FOR A MOVIE THAT CAME OUT IN 2019. IT DIDN'T EVEN FEEL LIKE ADVENTURE TIME STYLE 'HEY, WE KNOW, WE CAN'T SAY IT BUT COME ON" LIKE WHY WOULD YOU EVEN FILM THAT KISS SCENE!? (THEY DIDN'T FILM A KISS SCENE). JUST LET RAMBO KISS HER WIFE!