Capital Reviews

 The Quiet Place: Part II [movie] THIS WAS PRETTY GOOD BUT I FEEL LIKE JIM OFFICE JUST PLAYED LAST OF US THEN MADE THAT. EVERYTHING IS SO VIDEOGAMEY, EVERYTHING HAS COOLDOWNS AND USE COUNTS AND TIMERS AND PEOPLE'S OBJECTIVES ARE THINGS LIKE GETTING A RED CROSS HEALING KIT FROM A BATHROOM. ALSO I THINK JIM OFFICE JUST HATES FEET. HALF THIS MOVIE AND HALF THE FIRST ONE ARE JUST SHOTS OF PEOPLE'S BEAT UP GROSS FEET AND ALSO PEOPLE GETTING EXTREMELY SERIOUS FOOT INJURIES IN GRAPHIC DETAIL.  PS. I SAW THIS IN THE THEATER. I DON'T THINK PEOPLE SHOULD GO TO THEATERS NOW, I DON'T THINK IT'S A GOOD IDEA. NOT FOR AN OKAY MOVIE LIKE THIS FOR SURE. I ALSO THINK THAT I AM GETTING CLOSER TO BECOMING DANGEROUSLY AGORAPHOBIC AND NEED TO FORCE MYSELF TO DO THINGS REGULARLY. BASICALLY THAT TUMBLR STORY ABOUT THE FISH WITH TEETH DOT JPG.

 Woman in the Window [movie] THIS MOVIE SUCKS. FOR MOST OF IT I WAS GOING TO WRITE THAT IT FEELS LIKE IT SHOULD HAVE BEEN A PLAY AND HOW IF I SAW THIS AT MAD HORSE I'D THINK IT WAS OKAY, BUT NOPE, BY THE END THIS IS JUST STUPID. LIKE THEY THEMSELVES REALIZED THEIR MOVIE WASN'T WORKING SO WELL AND SO THEY THEMSELVES RUINED IT IN THE END.  PS. THE IMDB HAS 'THIS MOVIE ISN'T A REMAKE OF REAR WINDOW' AS TRIVIA 

Army of the Dead [movie] THIS MOVIE SEEMED FINE, THE PROBLEM OVERALL IS THAT IT KEEPS INTRODUCING EXTREMELY WACKY NONSENSE THEN JUST CONTINUING ON WITH THE MOST BASIC STORY IMAGINABLE. LIKE AT ONE POINT THEY SHOT A ZOMBIE AND IT WAS A ROBOT AND WHAT DOES THAT EVEN MEAN? THERE IS SO MANY HOOKS FOR A BETTER MOVIE AND THEN THEY JUST MAKE THE DOG EPISODE FROM EXCEL SAGA.  PS. LOL AT HELICOPTER PILOT TIG NOT BEING REALLY IN THIS MOVIE. SOMETHING ABOUT THAT IS UNBELIEVABLY FUNNY TO ME. THEY FILMED THE WHOLE MOVIE WITH CHRIS D'ELLA THEN HE GOT METOOED SO THEY JUST HAD TIG NARARO SAY A BUNCH OF SARCASTIC STUFF AND SHE NEVER EVEN WENT ON SET OR MET ANY OF THE CAST. 

Knowing Why [book, nonfiction] I'VE JOKED ABOUT IT FOREVER, BUT I PROBABLY AM ACTUALLY SOMEWHERE ON THE AUTISTIC SPECTRUM, RIGHT? I IMAGINE I'VE SAID IT SO MANY TIMES AND I'M SO BLATANTLY WEIRD ABOUT EVERYTHING NO ONE ACTUALLY FELT THAT WAS ANY SORT OF ACTUAL OPEN QUESTION AT ALL, RIGHT? PS. SAME AS THAT SOCIAL SKILLS BOOK AFTER DAWN, OR THE MAGIC SPELL BOOK IN THE CROSSROAD, I ALWAYS WANT THE NARRATIVE WHERE I HAVE A PERSONAL PROBLEM AND THEN IF I PHYSICALLY FIND A BOOK THEN I WANT THAT BOOK TO ANSWER ALL MY PROBLEMS. BUT THIS IS THE SAME AS ANYTHING I READ ABOUT AUTISM, IT CLEARLY DESCRIBES ME UP TO A POINT, BUT THEN WHEN IT GETS INTO THE MORE SEVERE SYMPTOMS IT RELATES LESS. SO THE SPECIFIC ADVICE ALWAYS MISSES BY A FEW DEGREES. 

 Panzer Dragoon [game] IVE PLAYED BITS OF THIS A TON OF TIMES BUT ITS NEAT TO FINALLY PLAY FOR REAL. ITS NOT AS GOOD AS RES OR EVEN THE GUMMY SHIP SECTIONS OF KINGDOM HEARTS, BUT IT ALSO CAME OUT 25 YEARS AGO SO ITS NEAT HISTORICALLY AND THE REMAKE MOSTLY LOOKED PRETTY COOL. PS. THE INDIGNITY OF PLAYING A GAME WITH AN ACTUAL LIVES SYSTEM IN 2021. I ONLY GAME OVERED ONE TIME BEFORE BEATING THE GAME BUT ITS FUNNY HOW FAST A STAPLE OF VIDEOGAMES BECAUSE JUST INTOLERABLE 

Understanding autism in adults and aging adults [book, nonfiction] LOL PS. OWNED

Adventure Time: Distant Lands [television] AH MAN, THIS WAS REALLY GOOD. I REALLY FEEL LIKE THEY HAD A PILE OF CONCEPT SCRIPTS FOR WHAT TO MAKE THIS AND JUST SAID 'THIS ONE' AND PULLED NO PUNCHES ON THE IDEA THIS WAS AN ONGOING SERIES ANYMORE. I REALLY LIKE HOW MUCH THIS SEEMED SO FOCUSED ON EARLY SEASON STUFF COMPARED TO THE OTHER DISTANT LAND STUFF, LIKE WE REALLY NEEDED TO WRAP UP THE TIFFANY STORY I GUESS. LIKE YOU COULD WATCH THE FIRST TWO SEASONS THEN THIS AND TOTALLY FOLLOW IT, COMPARED TO LIKE THE FINALE WHERE THE REACTION TO EVERY SINGLE PART WOULD BE "WHAT IS HAPPENING???".  I ALSO LOVE HOW EXTREMELY ANIME THIS WAS.  PS. I ALSO LOVE CHOOSE GOOSE BEING IN HELL  

 Oxygen [movie] I'M NOT SO TOUGH I'D NOT BE AFRAID IN A REAL SITUATION BUT I JUST DON'T FEEL LIKE I HAVE ENOUGH CLAUSTROPHOBIA TO BE THE AUDIENCE FOR THIS MOVIE. LIKE YEAH, IT'D ALL BE SCARY,  BUT THIS MOVIE FEELS LIKE ALMOST HORROR PORN FOR CLAUSTROPHOBICS, LIKE YOU CAN TELL THEY WERE GOING DOWN A LIST CHECKING BOXES. LIKE 'WHAT IF YOU WERE IN AN MRI MACHINE AND RATS CAME IN' IS A GENERALLY SCARY IDEA AND ANYONE WOULD FIND THAT BAD, BUT IT FEELS LIKE IT WAS ON SOMEONE WHO'S VERY CLAUSTROPHOBIC'S FEAR LIST VERY DIRECTLY. THE WHOLE MOVIE DOES.  PS. EVERYTHING ABOUT THIS MOVIE FEELS LIKE IT SHOULD BE A SHORT ADVENTURE GAME THAT YOU BUY ON ITCH IO. 

 Disco Elysium: The Final Cut [game, amazing] AH MAN, THIS GAME IS JUST AMAZING, THE SECOND EVER GAME IN WHATEVER THE HECK GENRE PLANESCAPE TORMENT WAS. I DID THE THING WHERE I STARTED IT, HEARD THERE WOULD BE AN EXPANDED FINAL CUT AND STOPPED UNTIL IT CAME AND I'M GLAD I DID BECAUSE THEY VOICED *EVERYTHING* AND THAT IS CRAZY. EVERYTHING ABOUT THIS GAME IS SO MUCH BETTER THAN IT SEEMS IS REASONABLE. THE ONLY POSSIBLE COMPLAINT I CAN EVEN IMAGINE IS THAT THE CLOTHING STUFF WAS STUPID.  PS. I LOVE HOW THE WHOLE GAME IS A POLITICAL PERSONALITY TEST AND THAT THE ANSWER FEELS LIKE A KNIFE IN THE HEART. THE GAME PEGGED ME AS A SORRY COP THAT MOSTLY THINKS LEFTIST/COMMUNIST IDEAS BUT THEN SLOTTED ME AS A CENTRIST/MORALIST BECAUSE OF INDECISION ABOUT EVERYTHING AND ATTEMPTS TO NOT SAY THINGS THAT ARE TOO EXTREME AND TO BE MORE NORMAL ABOUT IT. OUCH. 

Peepoodo & The Super Space Friends [television] I FEEL LIKE THEY MADE THIS JUST PURELY WORSE.   LIKE THE IDEA OF SUDDENLY BEING A SPACE OPERA ANIME PARODY IS FAIRLY FUNNY, BUT DROPPING THE QUASI-EDUCATIONAL FORMAT, MAKING THE ANIMATION BETTER AND MOVING FROM THE SHARP DIVIDE THAT ONLY THE GROTESQUE CHARACTERS WOULD BE NAKED OR DOING SEX STUFF TO HAVING THE 'ATTRACTIVE' CHARACTERS ALSO NAKED REALLY FEELS LIKE THIS MOVED THIS FROM A WEIRD INTERESTING FRENCH "THING" INTO JUST BEING MORE NOT VERY FUNNY HENTAI FOR WEIRDO FURRIES. LIKE IT'S NOT THE WORST THING EVER MADE, BUT IT FEELS WAY MORE LIKE JUST NOTHING. PS. IT DID HAVE AN EVANGELION BASED PROMOTIONAL IMAGE, SO THAT IS FUNNY I GUESS

 Tenet [movie] I THINK THIS MOVIE GOT A LOT OF WEIRD BACKLASH AND NO ONE LIKED IT MUCH. I THINK I LIKE THIS MOVIE A LOT. I THINK I GENERALLY LIKE MOVIES LIKE THIS A LOT, BUT I THINK THE MAIN REASON I LIKED IT SO MUCH WAS I EARLIER DECIDED TO SKIP IT AND JUST READ A DECRIPTION/EXPLAINER, SO I ALREADY KNEW EVERYTHING THAT WOULD HAPPEN AND IT WASN'T CONFUSING. I ABSOLUTELY POSITIVELY LIKE HOW THEMATICALLY THAT FITS. THAT IS THE BEST THING EVER. I FEEL LIKE I WATCHED THE MOVIE THE CORRECT ACTUAL WAY TO WATCH THIS MOVIE. MOVIE WATCHING TEMPORAL PINCER.  PS. THE COMPLAINTS THAT PEOPLE HAD THAT ARE VALID: THE SOUND MIX IS *AWFUL*, THEY CLEARLY COULDN'T FIGURE OUT HOW TO INCLUDE THE GREY ARMY IN THE WAR SCENES AND EVERYONE IS JUST SHOOTING VAUGELY OFFSCREEN IN AN EMPTY ROCK QUARY AND "THAT INCLUDES MY SON!" IS THE WORST DIALOG EVER IN A MOVIE. 

 New Gods: Nezha Reborn [movie] THIS WAS QUITE GOOD, BUT MAN DID IT JUST RIP THE STYLE DIRECTLY OUT OF FF7. ON THE OTHER HAND IT ACTUALLY GAVE A SPECIFIC REASON FOR WEARING WEIRD METAL PAULDRONS WITH WEIRD METAL BOLTS ON THEM SO ONE POINT TO THIS OVER THE ORIGINAL.  PS. AT SOME POINT I NEED TO JUST TAKE A CLASS IN LIKE, CHINESE AND HINDU MYTHOLOGY, NOW THAT EVERYTHING ISN'T JUST JAPANESE ANYMORE.  

 Arlo the Alligator Boy [movie] I ABSOLUTELY HATED THIS AND I DON'T KNOW WHY. IT FEELS LIKE I CAN NAME A COUPLE COMPLAINTS BUT IT SEEMED GENERALLY FINE. SOMETHING ABOUT IT JUST ABSOLUTELY RUBBED ME THE WRONG WAY. I JUST HATED IT. I CAN'T EVEN FIGURE OUT WHY. I'M SURE SOMEONE ELSE WATCHED THIS AND SAID 'I LIKED IT JUST FINE' BUT EVERYTHING THAT HAPPENED BOTHERED ME.  PS. I KNOW IT'S BECAUSE THIS IS A PILOT FOR A SHOW SO THEY JUST WANTED TO LEAVE A MYSTERY FOR A SHOW BUT I LIKED HIS MOM'S NAME BEING BLANK AND GRANNY BEING LIKE "HAHA, OH, UHH, YAH" AND PLAYING THE SONG AGAIN, LIKE THE IMPLICATION WAS HIS DAD JUST FUCKED AN ACTUAL ALLIGATOR. 

 Stowaway [movie] EH, THIS MOVIE IS GOOD ENOUGH BUT FEELS LIKE SOMEONE BOUGHT AN ETHICAL DILEMMA TEXT BOOK THEM SOMEHOW ACCIDENTALLY OPTIONED IT AS A MOVIE. ITS JUST SO STRAIGHTFORWARDLY “YEAH, BUT WHAT IF THIS HAPPENED, THAT WOULD BE SCREWED UP, RIGHT!?” AND THEN ADDED LIKE TWO MORE VARIATIONS THEN THAT WAS SORT OF THAT. PS. THE ENDING JUST IS NOTHING. IT DOES THE WHOLE DILEMMA THING THEN JUST SEEMS TO HAVE LITERALLY NOTHING TO SAY ABOUT IT.   

Homunculus [movie] I WANTED TO LIKE THIS MORE BECAUSE IT HAD STUFF GOING ON, BUT YOU COULD TELL IT WAS A MANGA COMPRESSED INTO A MOVIE BECAUSE IT HAD A BUNCH OF SUBPLOT STUFF THAT DIDN'T NEED TO BE THERE AT ALL AND WENT ON FOR LIKE 30 MINUTES AFTER IT CLEARLY SHOULD HAVE ENDED. PS. THE SAND VAGINA RAPE SCENE WAS GROSS AS HELL, I DIDN'T LIKE THAT BEING IN THE MOVIE AT ALL, BUT LIKE, ALSO WHAT EVEN WAS HAPPENING? I LITERALLY DON'T UNDERSTAND WHAT THE ANKLE THING WAS. THE BAD DUBBING OF HER SAYING "NO GIVE THAT BACK" MADE ME LAUGH THOUGH? WHICH MADE THE AWFUL SCENE EVEN WORSE TO WATCH. I'M SURE IT WASN'T MEANT TO BE FUNNY. WHATEVER IT WAS. 

 Ham On Rye [movie]   I DON'T KNOW, THIS MOVIE IS REALLY GOOD. IT'S A 'WE MADE IT BORING ON PURPOSE' TYPE MOVIE SO IT'S A LITTLE HARD TO WATCH, I REALLY DO LIKE IT THOUGH, I DON'T KNOW ANYONE WILL WATCH IT SO I DON'T KNOW HOW MUCH TO SAY OR HIDE SPOILERS, BUT I REALLY LIKE HOW OBVIOUSLY THE OPENING PART IS BUILDING UP TO A PARTICULAR TYPE OF TWIST AND IT FEELS SO OVER TELEGRAPHED, THEN IT'S ABSOLUTELY NOT THAT EVEN A LITTLE BIT.  PS. OH, BUT WHY WOULD ANDREW SPECIFICALLY RELATED TO THIS MOVIE. HMM, I WONDER. HMM.... I WONDER. HMMMMMMMMM, I WONDER

 The Great Influenza [book, audiobook, nonfiction] YEAH, THIS IS A GOOD BOOK, AND A NEAT BOOK TO READ RIGHT NOW. IT'S A HISTORY OF THE SPANISH FLU. IT DID HAVE A LOT OF THE EXPECTED PARALLELS TO NOW AND THAT WAS REALLY NEAT, BUT SPANISH FLU STILL DEFINITELY WAS AT A WHOLE OTHER LEVEL AS A DISEASE THAN WHAT WE HAVE NOW SO A LOT DIDN'T MATCH UP AS MUCH AS I THOUGHT IT WOULD. ALTHOUGH A MAJOR RECURRING THING WAS HOW MUCH THE WORST PARTS WERE COVERED UP, SO MAYBE PILES OF CHILDREN *ARE* BEING EATEN BY PACKS OF DOGS? AND WE WON'T HEAR THAT TILL LATER? WHO KNOWS.  THE BOOK JUMPS AROUND A LOT TO A LOT OF DIFFERENT FIGURES THAT WERE IMPORTANT TO A LOT OF DIFFERENT ASPECTS OF THE HISTORY AND I LOVE HOW STRONGLY CHARACTORIZED EVERYONE WAS, BECAUSE LIKE, DID THE AUTHOR REALLY HAVE THAT INFORMATION? OR DID HE JUST LIKE GO "I THINK THIS GUY IS A WEAK STUPID JERK, I THINK THESE TWO PEOPLE WERE DATING" JUST OUT OF NOTHING OR ONE OR TWO LETTERS. PS. FOR WHOM THE BELL BONGS. 

 Possum [movie] I DO THINK THIS MOVIE IS GOOD, BUT I ALSO THINK IT TRIED TO PUT ON THE VIBES OF A MUCH MORE SERIOUS AND SYMBOLIC ART HORROR MOVIE AND SEEMS MORE LIKE IT HAS THE TRAPPINGS OR VIBES OF HAVING A LOT OF METAPHORS BUT DOESN'T REALLY. LIKE IT REALLY DOES FEEL LIKE A FOX WAS THERE JUST BECAUSE ANTICHRIST HAD A FOX.  PS. THE PUPPET LOOKED SO STUPID I HAD TO TAKE A SECOND THE FIRST TIME THEY SHOWED IT TO FIGURE OUT IF THIS WAS A COMEDY PARODY MOVIE, IT'S NOT AND THEY REALLY REALLY REALLY SHOULD NEVER HAVE SHOWN THE PUPPET AT ALL.