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Showing posts from July, 2022

Apollo 10 1/2: A Space Age Adventure [movie]

 Apollo 10 1/2: A Space Age Adventure [movie] THIS WAS PRETTY GOOD AND WELL DONE BUT AT POINTS THE ROTOSCOPING FELT VERY VERY THIN AND HALF HEARTED AND A LOT OF IT WAS REALLY JUST NOSTALGIA VIA LONG LISTS OF THINGS. PS. WHY WAS THE RED ROVER SCENE SO GRAPHIC!? NOTHING ELSE IN THE WHOLE MOVIE WAS THAT WAY

The Long Utopia [book, audiobook]

The Long Utopia [book, audiobook] OH MAN, WHO WOULD HAVE GUESSED THIS WOULD BE A BOOK LARGELY SET IN MAINE? LIKE IT'S A SERIES ABOUT HUMANS SPREADING OUT OVER MILLIONS OF ENDLESS EARTHS AND LIKE TWO THIRDS OF THIS TOOK PLACE IN SOME ALTERNATE MAINE WOODS.  FIRST AS A PLACE CHILDREN ARE BEGINNING TO UNDO THE AGRICULTURAL REVOLUTION, THEN AS A SECRET SPECIAL PLACE THAT TOUCHES AN ALIEN PLANET GALAXIES AWAY. EVEN WHEN THE WORLD IS DESTROYED THEY FIRST TALK ABOUT IT IN TERMS OF TREE FILLED PORTLAND BEING LEVELED BY TSUNAMIS.    PS. ON THE OTHER HAND, THE WHOLE CONCEPT OF THE FLASHBACK STUFF SEEMED TERRIBLE. THEY HAD ALWAYS ESTABLISHED STEPPERS PREDATE THE BOOK BUT HAVING A WHOLE SECRET GOVERNMENT SUPERHERO TEAM OF THEM SEEMS REALLY DUMB. LIKE SPECIFICALLY HAVING THEM HELP THE UNDERGROUND RAILROAD WAS THE WORST. LIKE IT MAKES SENSE ON THE SURFACE, BUT LIKE.... WHY ESCAPE TO CANADA THEN? WHY NOT ESCAPE TO AN..... ENTIRE OTHER PLANET THAT HAS NO SLAVERY? WHY ONLY RESCUE LIKE 10 PEOPLE? TH

Green Lantern: Beware My Power [movie]

 Green Lantern: Beware My Power [movie] I FEEL LIKE NO ONE REALLY LIKED PARALAX WHEN IT HAPPENED SO THERE IS A LOT OF THINGS LIKE THIS WHERE THEY TRY TO MAKE IT DIFFERENT BUT DON'T REALLY MAKE IT ANY BETTER. SOMETHING ABOUT THIS MOVIE FELT LIKE A TELLTALE ADVENTURE GAME. LIKE THEY KEPT GOING TO A NEW LOCATION AND BEING ALONE WITH EXACTLY ONE PERSON TO TALK TO AND EVERY PUZZLE SEEMED TO BE SOLVED VERY EASILY AND QUICKLY BY USING THE ONLY ITEM THEY HAD AT ANY TIME ALSO EVERYONE WAS VERY 'SNAPPY' DIALOG.  PS. WHY DID SYNESTRO NOT SEEM TO EVER FIGURE OUT RINGS COULD COME BACK? IT HAPPENED LIKE 3 TIMES THAT THAT SOMEHOW TRICKED HIM? 

Top Gun: Maverick [movie]

Top Gun: Maverick [movie] I DON'T EVEN REALLY LIKE TOP GUN AND THIS MOVIE IS KINDA AMAZING. IT'S THE MOST PERFECT 80S MOVIE WRITTEN IN MODERN TIMES. NOT A SINGLE BIT OF IT FEELS LIKE IT WAS WRITTEN NOW BUT NOT A SINGLE BIT FEELS SOAKED IN STRANGER THINGS 'REMEMBER THE 80S?" FILMMAKING.  IT'S JUST GOT SO MUCH SAVE THE REC CENTER ENERGY.  PS. I LOVE HOW REPEATEDLY SCREENS WORK A DUMB WAY. I LOVE HOW GOING MACH 10 ABSOLUTELY WOULD NOT SAVE THE PROGRAM AT ALL. I LOVE THEY HYPE UP DRONES AS THE SCARY THING THEN THEIR DEADLY MISSION IS 100% SCRIPTED AND REQURIES NO HUMAN INTERVENTION. I LOVE THAT THEY DON'T TRY TO ONE UP THE HOMOEROTIC VOLLEYBALL SCENE AND INSTEAD PLAY SHIRTLESS DOUBLE FOOTBALL. I LOVE THE NONSPECIFIC COUNTRY THEY FIGHT IS CLEARLY IRAN UNTIL THEY SHOW IT WHEN IT'S IN THE ALOS. I LOVE TOM CRUISE SHOWING UP IN A PRE-MOVIE ANNOUNCMENT THEY USED REAL PLANES. THIS MOVIE IS SO DUMB BUT NOT THE WAY NEW MOVIES ARE DUMB. THE EXACT WAY MOVIES USED TO BE ST

The Long Mars [book, audiobook]

 The Long Mars [book, audiobook] IT'S GETTING HARD TO JAM THESE INTO LIBRARY CATAGORIES BUT UHH, SPECULATIVE FICTION. I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT WHAT I'LL DO FOR THE REMAINING TWO.  I LIKE HOW THIS BOOK IS A LITTLE DUMB. LIKE EVERY BAXTER BOOK HAS A MILLION SHADOWY FIGURES THAT EXIST IN THE BACKGROUND SO THEY CAN COME OUT MID STORY AND EXPLAIN WHATEVER THE NEW THING IS AND I LIKE HOW EVERYONE'S PLAN IN THIS WAS ALL KINDA DUMB. LIKE MAJOR CHARACTERS THAT HAD LOOMED OVER THE STORY SINCE THE VERY FIRST CHAPTER OF THE FIRST BOOK AND NEITHER OF THEM HAD PARTICULARLY IMPORTANT PLANS AND THAT IS A GOOD TWIST. ALSO IT'S WEIRD THAT THEY INTRODUCED THE WAY LONG MARS WORKS AND IT'S KINDA DUMB BUT IT FEELS LIKE THEY HAVE BEEN BUILDING THAT THERE IS SOME BIG SECRET TO STEPPING AND I'M SURE THE CAT WILL LIVE TILL A TRILLION BILLION YEARS IN THE FUTURE THEN START A NEW UNIVERSE OR SOMETHING THAT EXPLAINS ALL THE NON-HARD SCIENCE PARTS. ALTHOUGH BAXTER ONE HUNDRED PERCENT DISPOSED OF

The Long War [book, audiobook]

 The Long War [book, audiobook] THIS IS THE SECOND LONG EARTH BOOK. I FEEL LIKE THE SERIES WAS ALWAYS SUPPOSED TO BE A SERIES BUT THE FIRST BOOK FELT VERY STAND ALONE AND THIS BOOK HAD A LOT OF "AW GEEZ, WE HAVE TO WRITE FIVE OF THESE" WHERE THIS WAS GOOD, BUT THE SCALE OF THE PLOT WAS SCALED DOWN A TON AND YOU COULD TELL THEY INTENTIONALLY SANDED DOWN A LOT OF THE MORE UNIQUE ELEMENTS OF THE SETTING THAT WOULD HAVE MADE WRITING IT TOO HARD. BUT YOU CAN ALSO THE BAXTER THING OF LIKE, INTRODUCING THINGS LIKE ROBOTS AND PEOPLE BECOMING IMMORTAL BECAUSE I'M SURE BY THE LAST BOOK IT'LL BE THE YEAR TEN QUAJILLION BECAUSE NO GOOD BAXTER SERIES EVER JUST ENDS AFTER A NORMAL AMOUNT OF TIME, HE HAS TO WRITE EXACTLY HOW THINGS WORK OUT TILL THE END OF TIME.  PS. PRACHETTE WROTE THE SCIENCE OF DISKWORLD BOOKS, HE CAN WRITE THIS SORT OF HARD SCI-FI BUT NOT AS HARD AS BAXTER AND IT WAS FUNNY WHEN YOU COULD NOTICE THEM FIGHTING. LIKE THERE IS A SPECIFIC SCENE SOMEONE IS TRYING TO W

The Bob's Burgers Movie [movie]

 The Bob's Burgers Movie [movie] DON'T GET ME WRONG, THIS WAS QUITE GOOD, IT JUST HAD HEAVY 'JUST A LONG EPISODE' ENERGY. LIKE THIS SHOW HAS ALREADY HAD A TWO PART EPISODE WITH A MURDER PLOT UNDER THE PIER, AND 'THEY ARE IN DANGER OF LOSING THE RESTURANT" OR "THEY HAVE TO HAVE A FOOD CART" ARE LIKE 10 EPISODES. I DON'T KNOW, THIS WAS GOOD AND I LIKED IT, BUT LIKE, IT INTRODUCED A CHARACTER MOTIVATION FOR EACH CHARACTER THEN NEVER REALLY DID MUCH WITH IT. LOUISE GOT THE MOST CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT BUT WORRYING ABOUT BEING A BABY FEELS LIKE "SPECIAL EPISODE WHERE A CHARACTER HAS A GAMBLING PROBLEM THAT WAS NEVER MENTIONED BEFORE OR AFTER"  PS. I HATE THING THING WHERE AN ANIMATED SHOW GETS A MOVIE SO THEY HAVE TO KEEP HAVING TO HAVE NEW CAMERA ANGLES ON EVERYTHING. I DON'T *WANT* THEM TO STAND AT A 45 DEGREE ANGLE TO THE STORE INSTEAD OF PERFECTLY STRAIGHT ON IN THE SAME POSITION EVERY TIME!

The Long Earth [book, audiobook]

The Long Earth [book, audiobook] I LOVE STEPHEN BAXTER, I USUALLY LIST HIM AS MY FAVORITE AUTHOR, I ABSOLUTELY UNIRONICALLY LOVE HOW MUCH HE REFUSES TO WRITE ANYTHING WITHIN THE HUMAN DEFINITION OF 'A STORY' AND EVERY BOOK IS JUST SOME GUY HAS SOME PREMISE TO GO LOOK AT SOME SCI-FI THING AND WALK AROUND IT WHILE SOMEONE EXPLAINS IT TO HIM. LIKE EVERY BOOK IS JUST "I HAD A COOL SCIFI IDEA, LET ME EXPLAIN IT" AND EVERY SINGLE CHARACTER AND EVENT IS A HOLLOW SHELL TO HAVE SOMEONE STAND NEXT TO IT WHILE SOMEONE ELSE SAYS HOW IT WORKS. I REALLY LEGITIMATELY LIKE HIM FOR THAT. I ABSOLUTELY LOVE THIS BOOK JUST HAD A RANDOM CHAPTER ON HOW THE THINGS GAVE BIRTH. IT CONNECTED TO NOTHING ELSE IN THE STORY AND DIDN'T MATTER AT ALL BUT WAS VERY "OH YEAH, THATS REALLY SMART!" AND I LOVE IT. HE HAS WRITTEN WITH PARTNERS A BUNCH OF TIMES AND THOSE BOOKS TEND TOWARDS HAVING THE GUEST AUTHOR FILL IN STUFF LIKE 'HAVING ACTUAL CHARACTERS" AND THIS WAS WRITTEN WITH

Mad God [movie]

Mad God [movie] THE GUY WHO MADE ALL THE STOP MOTION AND PUPPET EFFECTS IN EVERY MOVIE YOU HAVE EVER SEEN IN YOUR LIFE (THE ORIGINAL STAR WARS, JURASSIC PARK, ROBOCOP, TWILIGHT(?), ETC) THAT ISN'T JIM HENSON WANTED TO MAKE HIS OWN MOVIE, SO HE WORKED ON IT FOR 30 YEARS AND THEN HAD TO BE PUT IN A MENTAL HOSPITAL BECAUSE IT MADE HIM CRAZY THEN IT CAME OUT DURING THE PANDEMIC AND ONLY MADE LIKE A THOUSAND DOLLARS. ALSO LIKE, THE INDIVIDUAL PARTS WERE EXTREMELY AMAZING BUT ALL THE AUDIO SEEMED TO BE FROM SOME SORT OF STOCK AUDIO CLIP CD AND THE MOVIE WAS EDITED REALLY ANNOYING AND I KINDA DIDN'T REALLY LIKE WATCHING IT? MAN, I WANT TO LOVE THIS SO MUCH. LIKE, IT'S GOOD, I LIKE IT, BUT I WILL FORGET THIS EVEN EXISTED IN A MONTH, IT'S NO RED STRING EVEN.  PS. READING PLOT SUMMERIES RULE, THE PLOT IS SO ABSTRACT AND LOOKING AT PEOPLE TRYING TO PUT WHAT THE HECK IS HAPPENING INTO HUMAN WORDS IS THE BEST, LIKE PLOT SUMMERY OF EVEN JUST ONE SCENE AS TOLD BY WIKIPEDIA: "IN T

Zombie 2 [movie]

Zombie 2 [movie] THE FIRST MOVIE HAD INSANE RACE POLITICS, LIKE THE MOST BONKERS IN ANY MOVIE EVER. THIS ONE TECHNICALLY IS EVEN MORE INSANE BUT KINDA JUST GOES SOFAR INTO BEING TWILIGHT IT FELT LESS OVERT AT HOW CRAZY IT IS. PS. I KNOW IT HAD A TWIST AT THE VERY END BUT HER HAIR JUST BEING BLOND FOR NO REASON WOULD HAVE BEEN AN EXTREMELY FUNNY ENDING.