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Showing posts from November, 2016

Brotherhood: Final Fantasy XV [anime]

THIS WAS REALLY LEGITIMATELY GOOD. KINGSGLAVE WAS WEIRD POLITICAL CUT SCENES BUT ID WATCH THIS SHOW EVEN IF IT WASNT FINAL FANTASY, EVERTONE IS SO LIKEABLE!     PS. MOST LIKEABLE IS FAT GAY PROMPTO, HE HAD A CAMERA JUST FULL OF CATS HE SAW.

World of Final Fantasy [game]

OH GEEZ THIS GAME. THIS GAME WAS GREAT. I LOVE THE DEEP CUT REFERENCES LIKE FIGHTING EINHANDERS AND THE GAME SAYING TO LOOK AT WIKIPEDIA TO SEE WHY BISMARK ISN'T A WHALE IN THIS GAME. ALSO I PLAYED THIS GAME WITH NO VOICE ACTING AND I DON'T WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT. PS. ON THE OTHER HAND, WAS THE DEVELOPMENT TEAM OKAY?  THE SECOND HALF OF THIS GAME HAS SUCH A GRIM TONE. NOT EVEN SPECIFICALLY THE STORY, THE PLOT HAS ABOUT AS MUCH BAD STUFF AS YOU'D EXPECT FOR THE MIDDLE ACTS OF ANY RPG, BUT THERE IS JUST THIS WEIRD OPPRESSIVE GRIM TONE OVER EVERYTHING. IT'S HARD TO EXPLAIN BECAUSE IT'S NOT REALLY THE EVENTS THAT HAPPEN ARE EXTRA SAD COMPARED TO ANY OTHER GAME, IT'S THE FOCUS ON HOW MUCH EVERYTHING SUCKS FOREVER THAT STICKS OUT. FOR SUCH A CUTE AN CHIBI GAME IT FEELS LIKE A VERY HOPELESS TONE TO EVERYTHING.

Gun Women [movie]

THIS MOVIE WAS SO AWFUL IT WAS KINDA GREAT. I FEEL LIKE I COULD THINK OF 30 PLANS BETTER THAN THE GUN WOMAN PLAN.      PS. FRIGGIN EWW

Stranger Things [Television, Amazing]

THIS WAS GREAT, OF COURSE IT WAS GREAT. IT TOOK ME FOREVER TO ACTUALLY WATCH BECAUSE IT GOT BUILT UP SO BIG AND I HAVE A HARD TIME WITH THINGS PEOPLE TELL ME I HAVE TO WATCH THAT I'M NOT SURE ABOUT BUT MAN, IT DID REALLY LIVE UP TO THE HYPE, IT REALLY IS AS GOOD AS PEOPLE SAID.    PS. THE BEST PART WAS WHEN SOME BACKSTORY WAS JUST THE PART FROM FIRESTARTER AND THEN LIKE 30 SECONDS LATER THE LADY WAS LIKE "READ MUCH STEVEN KING?" THEN BRUSHED IT OFF. THIS SHOW WAS ACTUALLY INTERESTING IN THAT IT STOLE SO MUCH SO BLATANTLY FROM SO MANY THINGS THAT IT LOOPED AROUND TO JUST BE REALLY UNIQUE. I 100% CALLED THAT IT WAS PULLING HEAVY FROM ELFIN LIED AND THE CREATORS HAVE TOTALLY ADMITTED THEY DIDN'T THINK ANYONE HAD EVEN WATCHED ELFIN LIED.

London Has Fallen [movie]

I FEEL LIKE THERE IS SOME UNIVERSE WHERE THIS MOVIE IS SLIGHTLY DIFFERENT AND IT'S A HUGE CULT CLASSIC. IT FEELS LIKE IT'S SO ABSURD THAT THE EXACT SAME SCRIPT AND ACTION WOULD BE AMAZING IF EVERYONE WASN'T SO PERFECTLY BLAND AND DULL. LIKE THE BODY GUARD IS SO UNIRONICALLY ACTING OUT BROCK SAMPSON MOVES WHILE THE MOVIE TAKES IT SO SERIOUSLY, HE KILLS LIKE 400 PEOPLE AND STABS LIKE 8 TERRORISTS AND THE TERRORISTS HATE BEING STABBED SO GOD DAMN MUCH.   PS. LIKE HOW DID A MOVIE WITH A SCENE WITH THE ROYAL GUARD SHOOTING MACHINE GUNS END UP BEING SO DULL AND UNWATCHABLE? REMAKE THIS MOVIE BUT HAVE NICK CAGE PLAY EVERY ROLE.

Massive Chalice [game]

I DON'T KNOW, THERE WAS STUFF WRONG WITH THIS GAME. THE BALANCE WAS ALL SCREWY. EVERYTHING WAS TOO EASY OR TOO HARD, HALF THE RESEARCH SEEMED LIKE BAD INVESTMENTS, EVERYTHING WAS SUPER RANDOM IN A REALLY RANDOM FEELING WAY. BUT THIS GAME IS STILL SUPER GREAT. I ABSOLUTELY LOVE THAT THEY DIDN'T MAKE ANY 'NORMAL' ENEMIES, EVERYTHING HAS REALLY ABSTRACT GIMMICKS, I ACTUALLY LEGITIMATELY LOVE THAT EARLY ON ALL MY CABERJACKS DIED AND THEN CABERJACKS WERE JUST EXTICT FOR LIKE 150 YEARS. I GOT ONE AS A REWARD ONCE BUT HE WAS INFERTILE SO I JUST DIDN'T HAVE THEM FOR MOST OF THE GAME. THAT IS WEIRD GAME DESIGN BUT I SORT OF ENJOY THAT STUFF LIKE THAT COULD HAPPEN. PS. I FEEL VERY WEIRD THAT I MADE A BABY MARRY A 70 YEAR OLD MAN. THE FORCED MARRIAGE WAS A GOOD GAMEPLAY SYSTEM BUT IT WAS ALL SUPER FUCKED UP. ENJOY YOUR DRUNK MUSCLE WIFE IDIOT.

Infini [movie]

I DON'T KNOW, THIS MOVIE FEELS LIKE IT SETS UP A LOT OF STUFF AND NONE OF IT EVER GOES ANYWHERE. WAS IT SUPPOSED TO BE A DIFFERENT MOVIE? WAS IT SUPPOSED TO BE ABOUT THE TELEPORTERS OR SOMETHING? I FEEL LIKE THEY SET UP THE TELEPORTERS AS A STORY ELEMENT MORE THAN THE OOZE. THE TELEPORTERS NEVER DO ANYTHING PARTICULAR, THE TIME DILATION THING NEVER MATTERS TO THE STORY.   PS. THE COMPUTERS WERE PROGRAMMED IN "ASCII"

Lego DC Comics Super Heroes: Justice League vs. Bizarro League [movie]

OH YEAH, I WATCHED THIS ON AN AIRPLANE AND THEN FORGOT ABOUT IT UNTIL I SAW I WROTE MYSELF A NOTE SAYING I WATCHED IT. PS. THAT IS BASICALLY ALL I HAVE TO SAY ABOUT THIS! IT WASN'T VERY GOOD!

Oxenfree [game]

THIS GAME IS WEIRD, IT'S 100% ATMOSPHERE. LIKE YOU CAN'T REALLY DIE, THE PUZZLES ARE ALL TRIVIAL AND UNLESS YOU ACT LIKE A TOTAL CRAZY PERSON YOU WILL EASILY GET THE BEST ENDING THAT ISN'T WEIRD DLC PATCHED IN ADDITIONAL ENDING STUFF. IT'S NOT EVEN LIKE THE DIALOG IS ALWAYS GREAT OR THE STORY IS REALLY WELL TOLD, BUT IT'S ALL PUT TOGETHER IN A REALLY REALLY ENGAGING WAY. I PLAYED THIS GAME ONLY AT NIGHT BECAUSE I CAN'T EVEN IMAGING PLAYING THIS IN THE LIGHT. IT'S NOT EVEN SCARY OR ANYTHING. IT'S JUST A STORY ABOUT SCIENCE GHOSTS AND GUILT OVER A DEAD BROTHER. PS. THE BEST PART OF THE GAME IS HER SAYING 'COOL POOL' THEN REACTING TO HERSELF SAYING IT.

Arrival [movie, OMG]

OH MY GOD, IT'S THIS STORY. I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW. I JUST WENT TO A RANDOM MOVIE. THIS IS A STORY I HAVE THOUGHT OF LITERALLY HUNDREDS OF TIMES THAT I READ IN SOME RANDOM SHORT STORY BOOK THAT I NEVER KNEW THE NAME OF (THE NAME WASN'T ARRIVAL). I THINK ABOUT THIS STORY SO MUCH. ACTUALLY, MAN, I CAN'T THINK OF A STORY THAT IT'S MORE FUCKED UP THAN THIS ONE TO REALIZE IN THE MIDDLE THAT YOU HAVE KNOWN THE STORY ALL ALONG BUT CAN'T REMEMBER FROM WHERE. (ALTHOUGH, TO BE FAIR, THEY EDITED THE ACTUAL PART I THINK OF DOWN SO MUCH IT BASICALLY IS NONEXISTENT).   PS. I LOVE THAT THE ORIGINAL STORY WAS TWO ELEMENTS: A HUMAN STORY THAT IS TRAGIC AND SAD AND HAS A PROFOUND MORAL THAT WAS TOUCHING ENOUGH THAT I'VE THOUGHT ABOUT FOR OVER A DECADE, AND A SCIFI STORY ABOUT LINGUISTICS AND COGNITION. I ACTUALLY LEGITIMATELY LOVE THAT AT SOME POINT THIS WAS THE ONLY FILM PRODUCTION IN HISTORY THAT WOULD TAKE THAT AND GO "WELL FIRST LETS CUT THE TOUCHING EMOTIONAL SIDE O

Mahou Shoujo Nante Mouiidesukara: Season 1 [anime]

THIS IS A REPEATED CYCLE. BY CHANCE HISTORICALLY A FEW OF THE BETTER TIMES IN MY LIFE HAPPENED TO BE TIMES I WAS WATCHING A LOT OF ANIME. IN THAT WAY I WILL OFTEN CONFUSE CAUSE AND EFFECT AND WHEN TIMES ARE NOT AS GOOD TRY AND WATCH ANIME TO FEEL BETTER. HOWEVER I HAVE TOTALLY STOPPED FOLLOWING ANIME SO I DON'T KNOW WHAT ANYTHING IS AND ALWAYS TRY TO FIND A SHORT SERIES THAT HAS GOOD RATINGS ON CRUNCHYROLL OR SOMETHING. HOWEVER CRUNCHYROLL HAS FEW SHORT SERIES AND A WRETCHED USERBASE SO IT ALWAYS ENDS UP WITH ME WATCHING ABSOLUTE GARBAGE TRASH. PS. I HAVE REALLY NO IDEA IF THE YEARS HAS MADE ANIME GROSSER, IF NOT KNOWING WHAT IS GOOD AND WATCHING RANDOM SHOWS MAKES ME SEE MORE LOW QUALITY GROSS STUFF OR IF ANIME WAS ALWAYS THIS GROSS AND IT DIDN'T STICK OUT AS MUCH WHEN I WAS 17 AS IT DOES WHEN I AM 35.

Dragon Age: Inquisition [game]

THIS GAME IS REALLY FRUSTRATING. IT'S FINE, BUT IT SHOULD HAVE BEEN SO MUCH BETTER. LIKE THERE IS TONS OF ELEMENTS I LIKED A LOT BUT IT FEELS LIKE A FEW THINGS DRAGGED IT DOWN FROM A GREAT GAME TO AN OKAY GAME. LIKE FIRST OF ALL I FELT LIKE THE WHOLE GAME WAS DESIGNED SO EVERYONE I LIKED LEAST HAD THE BEST BUILDS SO EVERYTHING WAS A CHOICE BETWEEN HAVING PEOPLE I LIKED AROUND OR PEOPLE THAT WERE EFFECTIVE. SECOND THE WHOLE GAME HAD SO MANY LEVELS OF COOL CUSTOMIZABLE AND FREE FORM ORDER TO DO ANYTHING THAT IT FELT LIKE THE GAME NEVER KNEW HOW TO BALANCE ITSELF AND I PLAYED THE WHOLE GAME ON NIGHTMARE AND BY THE END I JUST WAS AVOIDING TRYING TO DO ANYTHING NOT NECESSARY TO THE PLOT BECAUSE I DIDN'T WANT TO GET ANY STRONGER. WHICH SEEMS SAD IN SUCH A BIG GAME.     PS. I DATED JOSEPHINE BECAUSE SHE SEEMED LIKE THE PERSON I'D WANT TO DATE IRL. ALSO I FEEL LIKE THE WHOLE GAME HAD A PLOT ARC OF ME DOING THINGS THAT MADE SOLAS INCREASINGLY SADDER AND SADDER WITHOUT EVEN TRYING

Doctor Strange [movie]

LETS SAY IT UPFRONT: I LIKED THIS MOVIE AND ENJOYED WATCHING IT. HOWEVER MAN, IT FEELS LIKE A MOVIE THAT WAS LESS THAN THE SUM OF IT'S PARTS. IT FEELS LIKE A MOVIE WHERE EACH INDIVIDUAL ASPECT WAS REALLY WELL DONE BUT SOMEHOW IN 5 YEARS THIS WILL BE THE MARVEL MOVIE THAT ALWAYS STUMPS EVERYONE WHEN THEY ARE TRYING TO LIST ALL THE MARVEL MOVIES. (WELL, THAT ISN'T TRUE BECAUSE EVERYONE ALREADY KNOWS HOW THE CLIMAX TO THIS WHOLE MARVEL STORY ENDS BECAUSE THEY ACCIDENTLY SPOILED IT BY PRINTING THE WHOLE ENDING IN 1972 SO WE KNOW STRANGE COMES BACK FOR THAT) PS. WAS THIS KINGDOM HEARTS 3?

Black Mirror: Season 3 [television]

PLAYTEST WAS THE WORST EPISODE OF THE SERIES BECAUSE IT WAS THE ONLY EPISODE THEY MADE THAT REQUIRED THE FANTASY TECHNOLOGY TO MALFUNCTION,  SHUT UP AND DANCE WAS THE BEST EPISODE BECAUSE IT WAS ACTUALLY HARD TO WATCH IT WAS SO BLEAK,  SAN JUNIPERO IS THE BEST EPISODE BECAUSE IT HAD A MESSAGE THAT WAS SOMETHING ELSE OTHER THAN 'EVERYTHING IS TERRIBLE FOREVER". PS. THERE WAS A WEBSITE THAT HAD A BUNCH OF FAKE EPISODE SUMMARIES AND ONE WAS "IT'S GOOGLE GLASS, BUT IT'S FOR YOUR WHOLE BODY, THE MAIN CHARACTER JUMPS OUT A WINDOW AT THE END" AND ONE WAS "WHAT IF CELL PHONES, BUT TOO MUCH" AND I ALMOST FEEL LIKE READING THE FAKE ONES POISONED MY ABILITY TO WATCH THE REAL ONES BECAUSE THEY WERE TOO DEAD ON THE FORMULA.