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Showing posts from December, 2013

Blackfish [movie, nonfiction]

THIS MOVIE WAS WAY LESS ABOUT 'PEOPLE ARE MEAN TO KILLER WHALES' THAN I THOUGHT IT WOULD BE AND WAY MORE ABOUT THE FACT THAT SPECIFICALLY TILIKUM WILL KILL YOU. PS. THE 80S AND 90S COMMERCIALS, OH GOD.

Persona 4: The Golden [game]

THIS IS ABSOLUTELY NO QUESTION ONE OF THE BEST GAMES I'VE EVER PLAYED. THE BEST WRITING, THE BEST STORY, THE BEST CHARACTERS, THE BEST MUSIC, THE BEST EVERYTHING. I PLAYED 80 HOURS OF THIS IN JUST A FEW WEEKS AND I WOULDN'T EVER CALL A VIDEO GAME 'LIFE CHANGING' BECAUSE THAT IS FAR TOO DRAMATIC EVEN FOR A REALLY GOOD GAME, BUT GOD DID THIS GAME GET INTO MY HEAD AND MAKE ME THINK ABOUT MY LIFE. WHO'S TO SAY ANY ACTUAL EFFECT WILL COME OUT OF THAT LONG TERM. BUT WHATEVER. PS. ON THE OTHER HAND THIS GAME TAUGHT THE LESSON THAT THE BEST THING TO DO AFTER GETTING A GIRLFRIEND IS TO LITERALLY NEVER SPEAK TO HER AGAIN. (I DATED CHIE, I WOULD DATE CHIE IN REAL LIFE). PPS. LIKE A THIRD OF THE CAST WAS LGBT, BUT IF YOU FOLLOWED THOSE STORIES YOU MAY OR MAY NOT HAVE CURED THEM OF THAT? SO THERE GOES ANY PROGRESSIVE CREDIT THE GAME COULDA HAD. PPPS. JOO-NESS, RE-SAY

Get Him to the Greek [movie]

I ALWAYS FEEL LIKE JONAH HILL IS SOME WEIRD HALF FORMED SETH ROGAN EMBRYO. I FEEL LIKE SETH ROGAN WOULD BE IN THIS MOVIE. IT WAS A PRETTY FUNNY MOVIE THOUGH. PS. ON THE OTHER HAND EVEN WITHOUT TUMBLR JUSTICE I ALWAYS FEEL WEIRD WHEN THEY HAVE A "THAT GUY GOT RAPED' SEQUENCE IN A MOVIES LIKE THIS OR WEDDING CRASHERS. IT SEEMS WEIRD PEOPLE STILL WRITE SCENES LIKE THAT.

The True Story of Puss'N Boots [movie]

I WATCHED THIS MOVIE BECAUSE MINING DOGECOINS AT HIGH PRIORITY MAKES MOVIES PLAY CHOPPY SO I WANTED TO PLAY PERSONA WITH SOME BACKGROUND NOISE AND I WAS HAVING A CONVERSATION ABOUT STAR TREK ON FACEBOOK SO I SEARCHED NETFLIX FOR WILLIAM SHATNER. WHAT THE HELL IS EVEN GOING ON IN MY LIFE? PS. THIS ISN'T THE SHREK THING.

The Hobbit: Desolation of Smaug [movie]

I'M SOMEONE THAT IS TOTALLY OKAY WITH ADAPTIONS OF BOOKS TO FILM AND THE FACT THAT MEANS CHANGES, I'M EVEN OKAY WITH CAMEOS BY BELOVED CHARACTERS BUT JEA-SUS CHRIST WAS LEGOLAS BEING AROUND THE MOST FAN FICTIONY THING EVER PUT ON FILM.  HE EVEN SURFED ON LIKE 8 DIFFERENT THINGS BECAUSE I GUESS THAT IS FAN SERVICE? PS. ALSO KATE FROM LOST CAME ALONG AND PLAYED THE PART OF NOT ARWEN AND STOLE SOMEONE'S WEEDS AND THEN JUST DID EXACTLY THE THING THEY WERE ALREADY DOING.

Zombie Ass: Toilet of the Dead [movie]

I LOVE EVERY NORBORU IGUCHI MOVIE. THEY DON'T EVEN HAVE TO BE GOOD. THIS MOVIE CERTAINLY WASN'T! PS. EVERY NORBORU MOVIE SEEMS LIKE SOMEONE ASKED A TEAM OF 11 YEAR OLDS TO MAKE PORNOGRAPHY BUT THE KIDS WERE TOO YOUNG TO KNOW WHAT SEX WAS.

Frozen [movie]

I WAS PRETTY OKAY WITH THIS MOVIE, THE PACING WAS BAD AND THE SONGS WERE BAD AND IT FELT LIKE IT WAS HELLA WEIRD THEY MADE A BIG DEAL ABOUT HOW BAD IT WAS SHE FELL IN LOVE IN A FEW HOURS BUT THEN SHE JUST FELL IN LOVE AGAIN IN A FEW MORE HOURS BUT IT WAS AN OKAY MOVIE. PS. THE MICKEY MOUSE SHORT BEFORE THE MOVIE WAS KINDA COOL.

Earthling [movie]

THIS SURE WAS A MOVIE THAT STARTED WITH A STRONG OPENING AND AN INTERESTING PREMISE AND MANAGED TO GET MORE AND MORE BORING TILL I DIDN'T CARE ABOUT ANYTHING OR ANYONE IN THIS MOVIE. PS. WHY WOULDN'T THEY NOTICE SHE HAD HORNS WHEN THEY DID A BRAIN SCAN ON HER? WAIT, WHY DID SHE HAVE HORNS?