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Showing posts from April, 2019

Dragon Ball Super: Broly [anime, movie]

Dragon Ball Super: Broly [anime, movie] I WATCHED THIS BECAUSE I WATCHED ENDGAME AND THAT MADE ME THINK TO WATCH THIS BECAUSE IT'S THE DRAGON BALL VERSION OF THAT, WITH ONE MOVIE PULLING IN ALL THE STUPID FAN FAVORITE THINGS AND IT'S GREAT. LIKE IT RETELLING GOKU'S ORIGIN STORY BUT MAKING A BUNCH OF STUFF ABOUT SCOUTERS IMPORTANT AND HAVING HIM HAVE A MOM AND LIKE, MAKING SURE GOGETA IS ACTUALLY CANNON EVEN IF NO ONE ALIVE ACTUALLY REMEMBERED THAT IT WASN'T. PS. I AM FAR TOO OLD TO WATCH SHONEN SERIES SO I JUST WATCHED THE START OF DBS AND THIS TAKES PLACE AFTER AND I ABSOLUTELY LOVE THAT BERUS JUST LIVES AT THEIR HOUSE NOW, BECAUSE FRIGGIN OF COURSE HE DOES.

Avengers: Endgame [movie]

Avengers: Endgame [movie] EVERYONE EXPECTED THIS TO BE THE MOST PREDICTABLE MOVIE EVER AND I LIKE THEY WENT ALL OUT ON A REALLY REALLY WEIRD PLOT THAT WAS NOT ONE BIT WHAT ANYONE WAS EXPECTING. LIKE WHO KNOWS IF IT WORKED OR NOT BUT IT WASN'T THE GUESSES ANYONE HAD MADE. ALSO: THESE MOVIES ARE DUMB STUPID MOVIES BUT EVERYONE WAS CHEERING WHEN THE GUYS WERE COMING OUT OF THE THINGS AT THE END AND UNLIKE MOST TIMES WHERE PEOPLE CHEER AT A MOVIE WHERE IT'S REALLY LAME IT ACTUALLY FELT EARNED AND YOU CAN'T REALLY DO THAT LIKE THAT FOR MOVIES THAT DON'T HAVE 16 MOVIES LEADING UP TO THEM. PS. SPOILERS CONTAINED IN THIS REVIEW: GUYS COME OUT OF THINGS AT SOME POINT.

The Particular Sadness of Lemon Cake [book]

The Particular Sadness of Lemon Cake [book] THIS BOOK SEEMS PRETTY GOOD, BUT I THINK I'M TOO DUMB FOR IT. LIKE I CAN SEE THE PLACES STUFF IS THEMATICALLY LINKED BUT IF YOU ASK ME WHAT ANY OF IT MEANS I CAN JUST BARELY TELL YOU. LIKE I LIKED READING IT, BUT I'D DO A REAL BAD JOB IF I NEEDED TO WRITE A BOOK REPORT ON IT. PS. NO ONE REALLY HAS A CHARACTER ARC? NOTHING REALLY RESOLVES AT ALL.

The Alchemist [audiobook]

The Alchemist [audiobook] OKAY, OKAY, THIS BOOK IS PRETTY GOOD AND I SEE WHY PEOPLE RECOMMEND IT SO MUCH. ANY OF THE PLOT ABOUT FATAMA IS EMBARRASSINGLY BAD AND LIKE, THE TRANSLATION PICKING THE DOOFY PHRASE OF "PERSONAL LEGEND" MAKES THE WHOLE BOOK WORSE AND I AM SURE I HATE A BUNCH OF PEOPLE THAT ARE WAY TOO MUCH INTO THE SPECIFICS OF THE PHILOSOPHY AND TRY TO TURN IT INTO 'THE SECRET' OR WHATEVER, BUT NO, THIS BOOK IS GOOD AND LIVED UP TO THE HYPE. I ADMIT IT. PS. THAT MEME WHERE YOU POST SOMETHING WITH THE FACEBOOK REPORT MENU UNDER IT WITH 'THIS PICTURE IS ME AND I DON'T LIKE IT' SELECTED BUT WITH A PHOTO OF CRYSTAL SELLER. YIKES, JEEEEEEZ.

Mortal Engines [movie]

Mortal Engines [movie] THIS MOVIE WAS FINE BUT FELT WAY MORE LIKE IT WANTED TO COME UP WITH TWENTY CONCEPTS INSTEAD OF RUNNING WITH THE COOL ONES. LIKE IMMORTAL ZOMBIE ROBOTS AND QUANTUM LASER BOMBS ARE COOL BUT FELT LIKE IT WAS STRAYING A LOT FROM THE COOL TRAILER. PS. THE MINIONS JOKE

Ralph Breaks the Internet [movie]

Ralph Breaks the Internet [movie] LIKE ALL RECENT PIXAR SEQUEL STUFF THIS IS FINE BUT NOT GREAT. AT THE SAME TIME "THE INTERNET ISN'T AT ALL LIKE SONIC THE HEDGEHOG SAID IT'D BE" IS THE FUNNIEST JOKE IN ANY MOVIE EVER. PS. NOT SINCE TIGHTEN

Girl Flu [movie]

Girl Flu [movie] THE MOM IN THIS IS SET UP LIKE SITCOM BUMBLING MOM WITH HER HEART IN THE RIGHT PLACE BUT LIKE NO, SHE'S JUST REALLY REALLY AWFUL. WHAT A REMARKABLY BAD MOM. SHE SHOULD BE IN JAIL. HER BIG TRANSFORMATIONAL ENDING IS LITERALLY LETTING HER 12 YEAR OLD CHILD BUY FOOD. PS. GAY CARLA

Leave no Trace [movie]

Leave no Trace [movie] THE BEST PART OF THIS MOVIE IS HOW GOOD THEY DID MAKING THE GIRL TALK LIKE A WEIRD HOME SCHOOLED WOODS WOMAN "I MET A KID DOWN THE ROAD BY TALKING ABOUT RABBITS. THERE WAS NO TIME TO TELL YOU, IT WAS JUST HAPPENING". PS. THIS MOVIE WAS GOOD ENOUGH BUT MAN IT'S WEIRD THE FLAWS IN THE METACRITIC ALGORITHM HAD DECIDED THIS IS THE SECOND GREATEST MOVIE EVER PRODUCED.

Baba is You [game]

Baba is You [game] I REALLY LIKE THIS GAME. I LOVE THAT IT DARES TO BE EXTREMELY NON-PRECIOUS ABOUT OBJECTS HAVING INHERENT PROPERTIES. LIKE THERE IS SOME LEVELS THAT DO HAVE YOU ARE BABA OPENING A DOOR WITH A KEY BUT THIS IS A TON OF LEVELS THAT LIKE YOU ARE MELTING A MUSHROOM WITH A HOT BUSH AND YOU ARE SEVERAL WALLS. IT'S JUST A GAME THAT JUST GIVES NO FUCKS ABOUT ANYTHING BUT INTERNAL LOGIC. PS. ON THE OTHER HAND I BEAT IT AT LIKE 78 LEVELS COMPLETED, WHICH IS REALLY LOW AND IS BEFORE THE "TWIST" I KNOW EVERYONE ONLINE IMMEDIATELY SPOILED. IT'S A HARD GAME AND I KNOW 100% I WILL LOSE ALL MY SENSE FOR IT IF I STOP PLAYING FOR A WEEK SO I FIGURED I'D BEAT IT BEFORE I GO. IN THEORY I WILL PICK IT UP AND PLAY MORE AFTER BUT LIKE, DO I EVER DO THAT WHEN I SAY I WILL?

Unico In the Island of Magic [anime, movie]

Unico In the Island of Magic [anime, movie] THIS IS ONE OF THOSE ANIME THINGS I'VE KNOWN EXISTED FOREVER AND NEVER WATCHED ANY OF. IT'S LIKE, NOT AT ALL GOOD BUT ALSO EXTREMELY GOOD? LIKE THE ANIMATION IS LIKE 4 FRAMES A SECOND OR SOMETHING AWFUL BUT IT ALSO IS LIKE 1 FRAME OF SOMEONE WALKING UPSIDE DOWN OR THEIR EYES BUGGING OUT WITH A BUNCH OF WEIRD SOUND EFFECTS AND IT'S THE KINDA STUFF YOU JUST NEVER EVER SEE ANYMORE. IT'S MARGE TURNING HER HEAD DOT GIF. IT'S REALLY REALLY GOOD. PS. THIS MOVIE IS HILARIOUSLY PRO DEMONS. NIGHTMARE ISLAND IS BAD BUT DEMON ISLAND IS FINE. EVEN THE PEOPLE ARE ALL 'OH NO, NOT DEMON ISLAND, I'M WORRIED ABOUT THE DEMONIC CHILDREN"

Shazam! [movie]

Shazam! [movie] THIS MOVIE WAS GOOD, IT'S SO WEIRD FOR DC TO MAKE A GOOD MOVIE! WONDER WOMAN WAS ALSO GOOD, BUT MOSTLY BECAUSE THEY FORGOT TO MAKE IT BAD AND JUST MADE A NORMAL QUALITY MOVIE FOR ONCE. THIS IS LIKE, THE FIRST DC MOVIE THAT ACTUALLY HAD A UNIQUE OR ORIGINAL IDENTITY. IT WAS WEIRD AND HAD WEIRD 90S MOVIE SENSIBILITIES BUT IT WAS BASICALLY GREAT. I KEPT NOT WANTING TO LIKE IT BUT IT KINDA JUST WAS A GOOD MOVIE. ALSO IT HAD A GOOD 'BIG' REFERANCE THAT I APPRECIATED. WEIRD. PS. WHY WAS THIS A CHRISTMAS MOVIE? IT WAS OVERTLY A CHRISTMAS MOVIE. DID THEY SAVE IT SPECIFICALLY TO COUNTER PROGRAM MS MARVEL? THEY NEVER CALLED HIM CAPTAIN MARVEL? WAS THIS CONFUSING COUNTER PROGRAMMING FOR WEIRD NERDS?

The Unicorn Store [movie]

The Unicorn Store [movie] THIS MOVIE IS WEIRD BECAUSE IT'S GOT REALLY GOOD ACTORS IN IT AND IT'S WELL ACTED SO IT SEEMED LIKE IT'D BE GOOD, BUT IT WAS KINDA NOT GOOD. IT FEELS LIKE A MOVIE YOU CAN IMAGINE WHAT THEY WERE GOING FOR, BUT EVERY PLOT ELEMENT JUST KINDA FIZZLES. PS. SOMEONE POINTED OUT THIS IS JUST A MANIC PIXIE DREAM GIRL FROM THE GIRL'S PERSPECTIVE, AND IT'S 100% THAT AND SHE EVEN FIXES THE GUY BUT THIS HAS NONE OF THE INTEREST PARTS OR IRONY THAT MOVIE WOULD HAVE.