Posts

Showing posts from May, 2017

The Dying Earth [book]

I HAVE KNOWN ABOUT THIS BOOK FOR LITERALLY DECADES AND ALL OF A SUDDEN TODAY I ASKED MYSELF WHY I HAVEN'T ACTUALLY EVER READ IT AND THEN BEING UNABLE TO GIVE AN ANSWER JUST READ THE WHOLE THING IN ON SETTING. IT IS A 1950S SCI-FI FANTASY BOOK THAT IS THE OTHER THING THAT DUNGEONS AND DRAGONS IS BASED ON THAT ISN'T THE HOBBIT. AND BOY IS IT THAT. NOT JUST THE MAGIC SYSTEM BUT THE WAY EVERYONE GIVES EVERYONE QUESTS NONSTOP AND JUST ALL THE ITEMS AND THE WEIRD FAITH BASED GOD STUFF, THE SCI-FI ELEMENT IS INTERESTING THOUGH SINCE THAT IS REALLY THE ONE THING THAT JUST DIDN'T MAKE IT TO D&D. OR MAYBE IT DID, I KNOW EARLY GAMES HAD LIKE SPACESHIPS AND STUFF THAT ONLY WENT AWAY LATER.   PS. "WHY DO PEOPLE DIE WHEN THEY ARE KILLED?"

Alien: Covenant [movie]

I THINK THE OPENING SCENE OF THIS IS QUITE POSSIBLY THE DUMBEST SCENE EVER IN THE HISTORY OF SCI-FI. I EXPECTED IT TO PULL OUT AND BE SOME PLAY SOMEONE WAS WATCHING OR SOMETHING. IT WAS THE MOST RAPID FIRE PROGRESSION SUMMARY OF A "ROBOT TURNS EVIL" PLOT EVER DONE. IT WAS SO COMICALLY *EFFICIENT*! ACTUALLY A LOT OF THE MOVIE WAS SUPER BAD AND THEY RAN THROUGH A TON OF PLOTS VERY RAPIDLY WITH ALMOST ZERO WEIGHT. LIKE NOTHING MATTERED AND EVERYTHING YOU THOUGHT MIGHT BE A PLOT POINT ENDED UP ABSOLUTELY NOT MATTERING AT ALL.   PS. AT THE SAME TIME I KINDA LIKED THIS MOVIE? IT WAS SUPER BAD BUT IT WAS WATCHABLE AND NOT EVEN IN A SO BAD IT'S GOOD WAY, IT WAS JUST PRETTY AND INTERESTING? EVEN IF EVERY INDIVIDUAL PART WAS VERY DUMB?

Emily is Away Too [game]

I CAN NOT GET OVER THE YOUTOOB STUFF. I FEEL LIKE I NEED TO CALL THE POLICE AND REPORT THIS GAME. CAN YOU JUST DO THAT? LIKE INSTEAD OF HAVING A SOUND TRACK THIS GAME WAS JUST LIKE "HERE IS A LINK TO A YOUTUBE VIDEO OF AN ARCADE FIRE SONG" AND A LINK TO AN ENTIRE SIGUR ROS ALBUM. I DON'T THINK IT WAS EVEN MUSIC DEALS, THEY HAVE A LINK TO LIKE THE "SHOES" SONG AND THE YOUR THE MAN NOW DOG COOKING BY THE BOOK GIFS AND STUFF. I CAN NOT GET OVER HOW HILARIOUS THIS WAS TO ME.    PS. THE FIRST GAME BARELY HAD A STORY AND FELT LIKE IT SUFFERED BY HAVING A WEIRD HALF STORY SO THIS GAME HAD LIKE 90% LESS STORY AND WAS ACTUALLY A BETTER GAME FOR IT.

Stardew Valley [game, amazing]

OH GEEZ, THIS IS A REALLY GOOD GAME. IT'S LITERALLY JUST THE SNES VERSION OF HARVEST MOON REMADE AS AN INDIE GAME BUT 50X BETTER. MARU IS THE CLEAR CORRECT WIFE. LIKE I MADE IT TO THE GRANDPA EVALUATION AND GOT A 4 CANDLE PERFECT RATING AND I'M GONNA COUNT THAT AS THE END OF THE GAME BECAUSE I'M SORT OF OUT OF LATE GAME GOALS, BUT I WILL 100% BUY THIS GAME ON THE SWITCH NEXT YEAR DURING THE FIRST SNOW DAY OF THE YEAR.     PS. THE THING WHERE IF YOU HAVE YOUR HORSE STAND IN THE ICECREAM STAND YOU CAN BUY ICECREAM IS THE CUTEST GLITCH EVER IN A VIDEOGAME EVER.

Mr. Burns, a Post-Electric Play [play, amazing]

THIS IS LITERALLY SO GOOD THAT WHEN I TRY TO THINK ABOUT IT I FEEL LIKE I CAN'T BECAUSE MY BRAIN FILLS UP TOO MUCH. LIKE JUST THE PART OF THE PICTURE FRAME TROY MCLURE SAYING 'YOU MIGHT KNOW ME' IS JUST LITERALLY GENIUS WRITING. I LOVE THIS PLAY SO MUCH. I TALKED ABOUT SEEING THIS FOR SO LONG MY FAMILY GOT ACTUALLY ANNOYED WITH ME ABOUT IT AND IT TOOK LIKE 3 TRIES AND TWO TRIPS TO ACTUALLY GET TO IT BUT IT LIVED UP TO MY EXPECTATIONS ONE THOUSAND PERCENT.    PS. ON THE OTHER HAND I FEEL ACTUALLY ANGRY AT HOW WRONG THE ACT STRUCTURE WAS. IT SEEMS 100% SELF EVIDENT THAT IT NEEDED 4 ACTS INSTEAD OF THREE. THE CAMP FIRE A FEW WEEKS AFTER, THE THEATER TROUPE A DECADE AFTER, THE MANGLED STORY AS HISTORICAL MORALITY PLAY A HUNDRED YEARS AFTER *THEN* SIMPSONS AS A DEGENERATE AND NEAR INCOMPREHENSIBLE RITUAL LIKE A THOUSAND YEARS AFTER.   

At the Earth's Core [movie, mst3k]

THE MAIN DRAW OF THIS MOVIE IS WATCHING GRAND MOFF TARKIN SPEAK IN A VOICE THAT IS SO SILLY I HAD TO LOOK ON THREE DIFFERENT WEBSITES WHILE SAYING "THAT CAN'T BE HIM, IS IT?" AND ASSUMING IT MUST NOT BE.   PS. I 100% GIVE MY SEAL OF APPROVAL TO THIS NEW SEASON OF MST3K BUT I NEVER LIKED KIGA ONE BIT AND ONLY DIDN'T MIND BECAUSE THE SEGMENTS WERE ALWAYS REALLY SHORT AND THIS SEASON FINALE BEING LIKE 1/5TH POINTLESS KIGA PLOTLINE SURE MADE ME NOT LIKE THIS EPISODE VERY MUCH.

The Christmas That Almost Wasn't [movie, mst3k]

JESUS, THIS MOVIE AND THE RIFF ARE BOTH HILARIOUS. LIKE ILL WATCH THIS AGAIN NEXT CHRISTMAS. I LIKE EVERYTHING ABOUT THIS. GOO, IM A BABY.   PS. I LIKE THAT THIS MOVIES GOAL IS TO BE AN ORIGIN STORY FOR MALK SANTAS.

Carnival Magic [movie, mst3k]

THIS ONE WAS LIKE, THE WEIRD AND WACKY PARTS WERE PRETTY FUNNY AND STRANGE BUT IT WAS A MOVIE WITH SO SO SO MUCH FILLER THAT IT JUST WASN'T VERY WATCHABLE.   PS. LIKE HOW OLD WAS BUD SUPPOSED TO BE? I LOOKED IT UP AND THE ACTRESS WAS LIKE 20 BUT THE CHARACTER SEEMED TO BE LIKE EIGHT? BUT SHE BECAME A WOMAN AND MAYBE FUCKED THAT GUY? WHAT?

Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2 [movie]

AT SOME LEVEL ALREADY YOU KINDA CAN SEE THE FORMULA THEY USE TO WRITE THE JOKES BUT AT THE SAME TIME 'OW MY NIPPLES' IS STILL FUNNY AND IT SHOULD BE FINE AS LONG AS THEY DON'T MAKE LIKE 4 MORE OF THESE BECAUSE THIS WAS STILL REALLY FUN AND FUNNY EVEN IF IT WASN'T TOTALLY OUT OF LEFT FIELD THE WAY THE FIRST ONE WAS.   PS. JESUS CHRIST THEY TOOK THE DUMBEST FAN THEORY FROM LIKE A MILLION MOVIES AGO AND MADE IT CANNON AND I WANTED TO LIKE YELL OUT IN THE THEATER ABOUT IT.

Wizards of the Lost Kingdom II [movie, mst3k]

HOLY CRAP, I LIKE THIS MOVIE SO MUCH AND THE RIFF HAD ZELDA JOKES. THIS IS LIKE TOP FIVE PERCENT MST3K   PS. I LOVE EVERYTHING FROM THE FIRST MOVIE WAS JUST DEAD NOW.

Wizards of the Lost Kingdom [movie, mst3k]

THIS MOVIE WAS WAY WAY TOO BORING BUT ALL THE CHARACTER/MONSTER DESIGN WAS WICKED FUNNY SO I SEE WHY THEY DID THIS ANYWAY.   PS. I FEEL LIKE STUFF DOESN'T MAKE ME LAUGH OUT LOUD MUCH BUT "THEN HE'LL BE EATING DIRT" GOT ME.

Yongary [movie,mst3k]

THIS WAS A SUPER CHARMING MOVIE AND I LIKE THE RIFF WAS MAKING THE CAST MEMBERS LAUGH AT THEIR OWN JOKES. PS. I FEEL NOT OKAY ABOUT THE ENDING!