Capital Reviews

  Justice League: Crisis on Infinite Earths Part Two [movie] THIS WAS GOOD ENOUGH BUT WATCHING IT MADE ME FEEL CRAZY, LIKE IT WAS A MOVIE THAT MOSTLY LOOKED FINE BUT HAD WEIRD RANDOM ANIMATION ERRORS? I FEEL LIKE I DON'T USUALLY NOTICE/CARE ABOUT STUFF LIKE THAT BUT THIS HAD SO MUCH LIKE "GUY WALKS TOWARDS THE CAMERA AND SCALES WRONG" OR SOMEONE HAVING CRAZY LEGS IN A WALK CYCLE OR LIKE A COUPLE BACKGROUNDS LOOKING LIKE SOMEONE MADE THEM IN MS PAINT AND IT WAS MAKING IT FEEL IMPOSSIBLE TO WATCH. PS. I THINK BECAUSE 'ANIMAL MAN' IS LIKE THE ONLY FULL COMIC SERIES I EVER READ I AM SUPER EXCITED WHENEVER PSYCHO PIRATE DOES ANYTHING AND I LOVE THEY ADDED A PREMISE PSYCHO PIRATE MAKES UP STUPID CODE NAMES  AND THAT IS A CHARACTER TRAIT HE HAS AND THAT IS WHY THE ANTI-MONITOR'S NAME NEVER MADE ANY SENSE. 

 Mondo Cane [movie, nonfiction] OH! I GET IT! I KNEW THIS MOVIE GENRE WAS CALLED "MONDO" AND I ABSTRACTLY KNEW MONDO WAS 'WORLD' IN ITALIAN AND THIS IS THE FIRST MONDO FILM AND IT'S THAT IT'S THAT IT'S STUFF FROM ALL AROUND THE WORLD, NOT JUST RANDOM STORIES. THIS IS PAINFULLY OBVIOUS BUT IT'S NOT LIKE I WAS WATCHING FACES OF DEATH WORKING OUT WHY IT'S A MONDO FILM. ALSO: MONDO FILMS SUCK, IT'S FUNNY THIS IS THE FIRST ONE AND IT'S BETTER THAN EVERY OTHER ONE AND SOMEHOW LESS RACIST DESPITE BEING 20 YEARS EARLIER THAN MOST OF THEM BUT ALL THESE SUCK AND AREN'T GOOD AND THEY FELT LIKE A HUGE BIG DEAL IN THE EARLY 2000S WHEN THE INTERNET MADE THESE CRAZY TABOO MOVIES SEMI-ACCESSABLE BUT THEY ARE JUST NOTHING.  PS. I LIKE THAT THIS IS ITALIAN SO AMERICA GETS TO BE IN THE LIST OF FOREIGN COUNTRIES AND IT'S LIKE, THE THING WHERE HAWAII GIVES YOU A LAI WHEN YOU VISIT, WOMEN WORK OUT AT GYMS, BIKINI LADIES DISTRACT SAILORS,  PET CEMETERIES

 Bad Biology [movie] TOO BORING TO TALK ABOUT PS. SEVEN CLITORISES, ~THAT I KNOW OF~

 The Marvels [movie] IT FEELS LIKE THEY TOOK A PIECE OF PAPER AND WROTE DOWN IDEAS THAT COULD BE IN A MOVIE THEN JUST FILMED THAT OUTLINE INSTEAD OF MAKING AN ACTUAL MOVIE. LIKE, THE POSITION FLIPPING STUFF WAS AN AWESOME IDEA AND I CAN IMAGINE HOW YOU'D MAKE AN AMAZING FIGHT SCENE OUT OF THAT, BUT THEY JUST KINDA NEVER DO? (ALSO THE WHOLE SETUP WITH THE BRACERS FEELS LIKE THE SWITCH SHOULD BE MARVEL, KAMALA THEN THE BAD GUY, IT FEELS SO SET UP FOR THAT AND THAT'D BE AN EVEN COOLER FIGHT) THEN THEY GO TO A PLANET WHERE EVERYONE CAN ONLY SING AND IMMEDIATELY GO "OH, THIS GUY DOESN'T SING" AND THEN NEVER SING AGAIN?   LIKE EVERYTHING THAT HAPPENS FEELS IMMEDIATELY DROPPED. ALSO THE BAD GUY FEELS LIKE THE GOOD GUY IN THE STORY AND IT FEELS LUCKY THIS MOVIE CAME OUT JUST LONG ENOUGH AGO AND FAILED ENOUGH TO GET OUT OF PUBLIC CONSCIOUSNESS TO NOT BE 6 MONTHS OF CONSTANT ARTICLES ON IF MARVEL OR HAMMER LADY REPRESENTED PALESTINE OR ISRAEL MORE.  PS. CAT EGGS

 Prey [game] THIS IS A FIRST PERSON METROIDVANIA. THIS IS THE ONLY FIRST PERSON METROIDVANIA GAME I CAN THINK OF? EVEN THE FIRST PERSON METROID GAMES WEREN'T METROIDVANIA GAMES AS MUCH AS THIS WAS? WHY ISN'T THAT MORE OF A GENRE? THIS GAME WAS NEAT AND FUN.  PS. I NEVER PLAY 'CONTROLLER GAMES' ON THE PC, SO THE STEAMDECK IS MAKING ME PLAY ALL THE GAMES I GOT FOR FREE OVER THE YEARS FROM STUFF SO I'M GONNA RUN THROUGH THE HITS OF LIKE 6 YEARS AGO.

 Gory Details [book, audiobook] THIS BOOK IS AROUND 20 NATIONAL GEOGRAPHIC BLOG POSTS EXPANDED OUT INTO BOOK FORM. ON TOPICS THAT ARE GROSS/TABOO/DARK/ETC. IT'S A NEAT BOOK. IT'S THE SORT OF TOPICS YOU HAVE SEEN A MILLION TIMES BUT YOU CAN TELL THE CENTRAL THESIS IS THAT BOOKS LIKE THIS USUALLY GO THE ANGLE OF BEING EITHER REAL DUMB AND MAKING IT A TOTAL JOKE OR FOR KIDS. THIS WASN'T ANY SORT OF PUBLISHED JOURNAL LEVEL SERIOUS OR ANYTHING BUT IT WAS NEAT EVERY STORY FELT ONE CLICK MORE INTO TAKING IT AS SERIOUS SCIENCE THAN MOST THINGS DO AND TALKING ABOUT HOW REAL ACTUAL SCIENCE GETS NOT DONE BECAUSE IT'S COUNTED AS GROSS OR BAD.  PS. THIS ONE DOES FIT 'NATURAL HISTORY' OKAY, BUT IF I'M STREACHING CATAGORIES LITERALLY EVERY TIME SHOULD I EVEN KEEP DOING THE LIBRARY THING?