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Showing posts from June, 2013

Planet X [book]

HEY MAN, THIS IS AN EXISTS IN REAL LIFE ACTUALLY FOR REAL PUBLISHED OFFICIAL MERCHANDISE X-MEN/STAR TREK CROSSOVER NOVEL AND THAT IS PRETTY AWESOME. IT'S KINDA NOT EVEN THE WORST STAR TREK BOOK I'VE EVER READ. ALSO DATA IS BFFS WITH NIGHTCRAWLER. PS. THE BEST PART OF THE WHOLE BOOK IS WHEN THEY DESCRIBE PICARD PULLING HIS SHIRT DOWN.

Every girl is the end of the world for me [comic]

JULIA HAD ME READ MOST OF THE JEFFRY BROWN COMICS WHEN WE WERE DATING AND THEY KINDA AREN'T VERY GOOD BUT IT'S PRETTY FAIR TO SAY THE SEMI BORING STORIES OF HIM JUST HAVING A CRUSH ON A BUNCH OF GIRLS AND HAVING DUMB RELATIONSHIPS IS PRETTY ACCURATELY ME AND SHE WAS RIGHT I SHOULD READ THEM. AND SO NOW THAT I HAVE A THING TO READ COMICS ON I FIGURED I SHOULD READ THE ONE I HADN'T BEFORE. PS. I STILL HATE THE WAY HE HAS TO DRAW DARK SCENES WITH A BUNCH OF PEN SCRIBBLES ALL OVER IT.

Despicable Me [movie]

MINIONS SURE DO SEEM AN AWFUL LOT LIKE RABBIDS. WHATS UP WITH THAT? PS. I ALWAYS CONFUSED THIS MOVIE WITH MEGAMIND.

Debunking Ancient Aliens [movie, nonfiction]

I DON'T REALLY NEED THE IDEA OF ANCIENT ALIENS DEBUNKED, BUT IT IS THE SORT OF CRAP THAT THROWS OUT SO MANY FALSE THINGS IT'S NEAT TO SEE SOMETHING GO THROUGH THEM ONE BY ONE. WHICH IS ALSO WHY THIS MOVIE WAS OVER 3 HOURS LONG. PS. ON THE OTHER HAND THE HAMPDEN LIBRARY JUST HAD A 'NONFICTION' SHELF JUST FULL OF CRYPTOZOOLOGY AND ALIEN CRAP AND IT JACKED UP MY BRAIN AS A KID THINKING IT WAS REAL FOR YEARS.

My little Ponies: Equestria Girls [movie]

YEAH I WATCHED A CRAPPY CAMRIP, YEAH I WATCHED THE MY LITTLE PONY MOVIE. BUT I DIDN'T ACTUALLY PAY MONEY TO SEE IT. IT WASN'T AS TERRIBLE AS IT LOOKED LIKE IT WAS GOING TO BE, BUT IT DIDN'T REALLY HAVE ANY PARTICULARLY INTERESTING OR FUNNY PARTS EITHER, SO MY OPINION IS FAIRLY NEUTRAL. I THINK THE SHOW IS A UNIQUE SHOW BECAUSE IT'S A SHOW STARRING EXCLUSIVELY GIRLS THAT ISN'T JUST ABOUT BOYS AND PROM AND IT REALLY SUCKS THEY MADE A MOVIE AND LITERALLY MADE IT ABOUT BOYS AND PROM, BUT EVEN THAT IS PRETTY MILD AND DOESN'T TAKE UP AS MUCH SCREEN TIME AS IT SEEMED LIKE IT WAS GOING TO. I GUESS TWLIGHT HORSE DANCING WAS KINDA FUNNY? AND I FEEL SAD TARASHA ISN'T AROUND TO HAVE SEEN PINKIE HAVING TRANSDIMENSIONAL KNOWLEDGE.  PS. THIS IS A WICKED BRONY THING TO SAY BUT I REALLY HONESTLY THINK THEY INCLUDED THE SHY MATH NERD PONY AND THE BLUE HAIR JOCK PONY SOLELY TO GIVE THE FANS A GAY SHIP. THEY WERE GIVING EACHOTHER *MEANINGFUL LOOKS* AND THEY HAD TO KNOW WHAT

The Game Plan [movie]

HOW IS IT THAT 'THE ROCK IS EXASPERATED BY CHILDREN' HAS BECOME AN ENTIRE GENRE? THERE IS SERIOUSLY LIKE 5 OR 6 MOVIES WITH THIS PREMISE! PS. I LIKE HOW THIS MOVIE WAS SO SUPER G RATED THAT THEY MADE AN ODDLY CONVOLUTED BACKSTORY TO MAKE SURE THE ONE NIGHT STAND THAT MADE THE DAUGHTER WAS WITH HIS WIFE.

Silver Bullet [movie]

THIS MOVIE WAS GREAT BECAUSE OH MAN SINCE WHEN DOES A WEREWOLF HIT PEOPLE WITH BASEBALL BATS? ALSO THE TIME LINE ON THIS WAS SUPER WEIRD AND I THINK THE WRITERS KINDA HAD TWO SCRIPTS WHERE ONE SCRIPT HAD EVERY SCENE HAPPENING IN A ROW AND THE OTHER SCENE MADE EVERYTHING ONCE A MONTH. PS. I REALLY THOUGHT THE KID FELL OFF A CLIFF AT SOME POINT.

Man of Steel [movie]

THIS IS THE BEST LIVE ACTION SUPERMAN MOVIE THERE HAS BEEN AND MAYBE THE BEST THEY COULD EVER MAKE. I WANT TO TALK PHILOSOPHICALLY ABOUT SUPERMAN THOUGH, I THINK THE ONLY SUPERMAN STORIES I LIKE ARE "WORLD OF CARDBOARD"/'THE ELITE" STYLE SUPERMAN, WHERE THE POINT IS HE IS A HORRIFYING MONSTER WHO CAN FLY FASTER THAN LIGHT, TRAVEL THOUGH TIME AND PUNCH PLANETS IN HALF AND THAT THE STORY OF SUPERMAN IS THE STORY OF SOMEONE WHO HAS THE POWER TO DESTROY EVERYTHING AND SUPERMAN'S STRUGGLE ISN'T THE STRUGGLE TO DEFEAT THE BAD GUY, BUT A STRUGGLE TO NOT DESTROY EVERYTHING ELSE IN THE PROCESS. I LIKE THAT STORY BEST BECAUSE SUPERMAN IS SUPPOSED TO BE THE IDEAL OF THE IDEALS OF AMERICA AND THAT FITS AMERICA MORE THAN A SCRAPPY UNDERDOG. I THINK THAT MAKES THE END OF THIS MOVIE FEEL A LITTLE GROSS. ZOD ISN'T REALLY SOME PURE EVIL IF HE WAS CREATED TO PROTECT KRYPTON AT ALL COSTS AND SUPERMAN WAS THREATENING THAT. AMERICA DOESN'T NEED THE MORAL OF "YOU SHOU

Detropia [movie]

I CAN'T EVEN TELL WHAT IS REAL. I CAN'T TELL IF THAT CREEPY AD FOR ELECTRIC CARS ARE REAL AND I CAN'T TELL IF THE REALLY BATTY EUROPEANS ARE REAL AND I CAN'T TELL IF DETROIT IS REAL. PS. THE BEST PART WAS THE DETROIT OPERA SIGN JUST FLOPPING OVER.

The Purge [movie]

THIS FELT LIKE A SOLID IDEA FOR A MOVIE BUT LIKE, THE TIME LINE DIDN'T MAKE ANY SENSE, WHY DID THEY MAKE IT IN THE FUTURE INSTEAD OF JUST SKIPPING THAT AND GOING WITH AN ABSTRACT "WHAT IF" STORY? PEOPLE WERE WAY TOO INTO THE PURGE FOR IT BEING A THING THAT COULD AT MOST BE THE 9TH ANNUAL ONE. ALSO THE MOVIE MENTIONED THEY HAVE A HUGE HOUSE BUT JEEZ, IT WAS LIKE FOUR MILES ACROSS AND HALF THE MOVIE WAS A MILLION PEOPLE BEING IN THE HOUSE A 5 MINUTE WALK FROM EACHOTHER. ALSO EVERY PLOT POINT WAS SOMEONE HOLDING ABOUT TO KILL SOMEONE THEN SOME NEW PERSON WALKING IN THE ROOM AND SHOOTING THE KILLER. PS. ONE OF THE PURGE VIDEOS WAS BUXTON ME....WHY THERE?

Superman: Unbound [movie]

I WISH THIS MOVIE WAS AT ALL GOOD BECAUSE THE SCENE WHERE BRANIAC IS TALKING ABOUT HOW WORTHLESS HUMANS ARE AND LOIS LANE IS FLIPPING HIM OFF FROM THE BIG WINDOW IS KINDA THE BEST SCENE EVER AND IT DESERVED TO BE IN A BETTER MOVIE. PS. I FEEL LIKE 90% OF THIS MOVIE WAS TAKING DUMB 60S COMIC CONCEPTS AND TRYING TO MAKE THEM SEEM COOL AND FAILING TERRIBLY.

After Earth [movie]

I DON'T THINK I FEEL LIKE WILL SMITH HAS A GOOD GRASP ON WHAT POLLUTION IS OR DOES. DIDN'T THEY SAY THIS WAS ONLY SET 1000 YEARS AFTER LEAVING EARTH? WHY WOULD POLLUTION MAKE EARTH A GIANT JUNGLE THAT ALSO FREEZES SOLID INSTANTLY AT NIGHT AND HAS MOVING PLANTS AND WHALES WITH DOUBLE BLOW HOLES AND A POISON LEACH AND A MOUNTAIN THAT HAS A VISIBLE ION FORCE FIELD AND AN EAGLE THAT BUILDS YOU A LITTLE HOUSE BECAUSE OF POLLUTION? WHY DIDN'T THEY JUST MAKE IT SOME SPACE PLANET? PS. THE KID'S SUIT SHAPE SHIFTED FREQUENTLY SCENE BY SCENE AND AT VARIOUS PARTS IN THE SCENES THEY ONLY EXPLAINED ONE OF THE FORMS, I FEEL LIKE SOMEONE THOUGHT REAL HARD ABOUT WHAT THE COLORS AND SHAPES INDICATED AND SOMEONE WATCHING THE MOVIE REPEATEDLY COULD SUSS IT OUT, I ALSO FEEL LIKE THIS IS A MOVIE NO ONE WILL EVER DO THAT.

Little Inferno [game]

I PLAYED THIS BECAUSE I HEARD IT WAS A CUTE BUT BORING GAME WITH AN EXTREMELY WEIRD AND DISTURBING ENDING. IT IS IN FACT A BORING BUT CUTE GAME WITH AN EXTREMELY UNEXPECTED WEIRD AND DISTURBING ENDING. EVEN WITH "THE ENDING IS UNEXPECTED' BEING THE REASON I PLAYED IT IN THE FIRST PLACE THE ENDING IS UNEXPECTED. PS. MAYBE A GAME ABOUT HOW PLAYING VIDEOGAMES YOUR WHOLE LIFE IS TEMPORARY WARMTH AND COMFORT AGAINST A MUCH MORE SERIOUS PROBLEM AND HOW THE SOLUTION IS TO BURN YOUR HOUSE DOWN AND LEAVE FOREVER HAS A SPECIAL RESONANCE WITH THE AUDIENCE OF A GAME LIKE THIS!