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Showing posts from January, 2018

The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild [game,amazing]

OH GEEZ, THIS GAME IS NEAR PERFECT. THEY JUST KEPT ADDING SYSTEMS. EVERYTHING THAT EXISTS REACTS TO EVERY OTHER THING THAT EXISTS. I ABSOLUTELY LEGITIMATELY LOVE WALKING INTO A SHRINE AND THE FEELING OF UNDERSTANDING THAT THEY HAD A SOLUTION IN MIND BUT THAT HEART OF THE GAME IS LINK IN THE CORNER TOTALLY FUCKING UP THE PUZZLE. ON THE OTHER HAND I LOVED THIS GAME SO MUCH IT FILLED ME WITH GUILT. I BEAT 80 SHRINES (60 REAL ONES AND 20 DLC ONES) AND GOT THE MOTORCYCLE AND ALL THE DIVINE BEAST POWERS AND ALL THE POWER UPGRADES AND THE FULLY POWERED MASTER SWORD (FINAL TRIAL IS THE HARDEST THING IN A GAME IN FOREVER!) AND PLAYED OVER 80 HOURS OF THIS GAME BUT ALL I FEEL IS GUILT FOR NOT DOING MORE! THIS GAME HAS SO MUCH CONTENT IT JUST MADE ME FEEL BAD ABOUT HOW MUCH I WASN'T DOING! I ONLY GOT 40 OF THE 900 KOROK SEEDS! I GOT BARELY ANY OF THE MEMORIES!   PS. I HEARD THE JOKES BUT JESUS CHRIST PEOPLE ARE RIGHT THAT THE DEFAULT INTERACTION WITH EVERY PERSON IN THE WHOLE WORLD IS EVE

The Open House [movie]

THIS IS ONE OF THE MOST AGGRESSIVELY BOEING MOVIES I'VE EVER WATCHED. IT FEELS LIKE IT COULD HAVE BEEN REGULAR DULL BUT OVERUSED HAVING CREEPY MUSIC OVER MUNDANE SCENES TO THE POINT NO ONE COULD CARE ONCE CREEPY SCENES HAPPENED. PS. THE WIKIPEDIA PAGE WAS VANDALIZED TO SAY "AT THE END OF THE MOVIE A MYSTERIOUS FIGURE IS SEEN EXITING LEAVING THE VIEWER BAFFLED WHY THEY SAY THROUGH THIS MOVIE" AND IT'S CHANGED NOW BUT IT WAS UP FOR AN ENTIRE NIGHT AND THAT IS GREAT.

Circle [movie]

THIS WASN'T REALLY GREAT BUT IT WAS WAY BETTER THAN I WAS EXPECTING. LIKE IT KEPT EDGING TOWARDS HAVING EVERYONE BE TOO MUCH OF A STEREOTYPE OR HAVING SHITTY POLITICS BUT IT ALWAYS MADE IT CLEAR IT WAS THE CHARACTERS IN THE MOVIE REALLY BEING LIKE THAT, WHICH FELT PRETTY AUTHENTIC. KINDA THE ONLY THING THAT REALLY SUNK THIS WAS THAT IT DIDN'T PARTICULARLY GO ANYWHERE. THEY KINDA SET THE SIDES UP EARLY AND IT JUST PLAYED IT OUT PRETTY STRAIGHT. PS. I HAD TO LOOK UP IF THIS WAS BASED ON A MANGA OR SOMETHING (IT'S NOT). JAPAN IS DOING STORIES SO MUCH LIKE THIS SO MANY TIMES NOW AND THEN THIS MOVIE HAD A SET THAT LOOKED LIKE SOME SORT OF VIRTUE'S LAST REWARD/DONGAN ROPA/GANTZ ROOM. BUT NOTHING IN THE WRITING FELT LIKE IT WAS CALLING OUT THAT SORT OF THING.

Twilight Of the Cockroaches [movie, anime]

THIS MOVIE SEEMS LIKE THE MESSAGE IS SOMETHING LIKE "THINGS SURE WERE BETTER WHEN WE WORKED WITH THE NAZIS AND MEN WEREN'T SO FRUITY". LIKE, OLD PEOPLE COMPLAINING ABOUT YOUNG PEOPLE BEING TOO SOFT IS SUCH A STANDARD THING BUT IT FEELS SO WEIRD TO SEE IT FROM AN AXIS POWER COUNTRY INSTEAD OF A ALLY POWER COUNTRY. LIKE YOU WOULD THINK THAT BY MAKING IT ABSTRACT BUGS THEY COULD SEPARATE IT OUT AND MAKE IT VAGUE #MJGA STUFF, BUT NOPE, IT WAS GERMAN BUGS WITH HITLER FACES. ALSO A TALKING POOP WAS IN THIS MOVIE AND DIDN'T REALLY DO ANYTHING.   PS. WAY WAY BACK WHEN BATMAN THE ANIMATED SERIES WAS BRAND NEW I BOUGHT A MAGAZINE ABOUT ANIMATION SINCE BATMAN WAS THE TOP STORY AND IT'S WEIRD BLACK BACKGROUND ANIMATION AND IN THAT MAGAZINE WAS A LONG STORY THAT WAS LIKE "WHAT IS THIS ANIME STUFF ANYWAY?????" THAT I READ A MILLION TIMES AND YOU'D THINK THAT WAS A GOOD ORIGIN STORY OF GETTING INTO ANIME BUT FOR HOW MUCH ANIME I'VE WATCHED I BASICALLY NEVER

Gandahar [movie, amazing]

HOW IN THE WORLD DID I NOT KNOW THIS MOVIE EXISTED? WITHIN FIVE SECONDS I WAS ASKING IF THIS WAS A SEQUEL TO FANTASTIC PLANET AND IT'S TOTALLY NOT BUT IT ALSO TOTALLY IS AND IS THE SAME ANIMATOR AND THAT IS SO OBVIOUS, ALSO IT HAS LIKE GLENN CLOSE AND PENN JILLETTE IN IT SO IT'S NOT LIKE IT WAS SOME TOTAL NOTHING RELEASE OR SOMETHING. WHAT THE HECK. THIS ISN'T EVEN GOOD AT ALL BUT IT'S AMAZING THIS EVEN EXISTS.   PS. IT'S HILARIOUS HOW MUCH THIS GUY WANTS TO DRAW TITTY NIPPLES, IT'S NOT EVEN LIKE HE JUST WANTS TO DRAW BREASTS, IT'S LIKE SPECIFICALLY SUPER DETAILED NIPPLES. EVEN THE TOWN THEY LIVE IN HAS NIPPLES.

The Garden of Words [anime]

THIS FELT WAY TOO JAPANESE FOR ME TO WATCH. HALF BECAUSE IT FELT LIKE THERE WAS A BUNCH OF JAPANESE WORD SYMBOLISM I WAS MISSING AND RAIN AND SHOE SYMBOLISM I WASN'T GETTING BUT ALSO BECAUSE JAPAN HAS GROSS OPINIONS ON HOW YOU SHOULD FEEL ABOUT A 15 YEAR OLD IN LOVE WITH A 27 YEAR OLD THAT I CAN NEVER SHARE. AT LEAST THE WHOLE THING WAS ANIMATED VERY VERY NICE.   PS. I WATCHED A DUBBED ANIME ON YOUTUBE ONCE AND NOW YOUTUBE CONSTANTLY WANTS TO SHOW ME DUBBED ANIME AND I AM DEFINITELY GOING TO FALL FOR THAT A FEW MORE TIMES BEFORE I PROMPTLY GET EXTREMELY SICK OF ANIME LIKE HAPPENS EVERY SINGLE TIME I WATCH ANIME.

Before I Wake [movie]

THIS WAS A VERY VERY GOOD IDEA FOR A MOVIE THAT MADE A VERY VERY BORING MOVIE IN PRACTICE.   PS. EVERYONE THEY HIRED WERE THE MUMBLYEST PEOPLE IMAGINABLE.

Blood-C [anime, television]

HEY, REMEMBER 'BLOOD, THE LAST VAMPIRE" FROM LIKE 2000? APPARENTLY THEY MADE A SHOW ABOUT IT THEN MADE ANOTHER DIFFERENT SHOW OUT OF IT THAT WAS BARELY CONNECTED TO IT TO THE POINT THEY TREATED THE GIRL BEING A VAMPIRE LIKE IT WAS AN UNEXPECTED TWIST, LIKE YOU WEREN'T EVEN SUPPOSED TO KNOW THE TITLE OF THE ORIGINAL THING. ALSO, THIS SHOW WAS SUPER GORY BUT I LIKE THE STYLE OF IT. LIKE ALMOST EVERYTHING IS A ONE HIT KILL AND ABSURDLY OVER THE TOP AND THAT DOESN'T SOUND VERY ORIGINAL IN ANY WAY BUT IT'S HARD TO THINK OF MUCH THAT DOES IT THAT WAY.   PS. THIS IS A SHOW THAT HAD A BUNCH OF STUPID STUFF I WAS CLEARLY GOING TO WRITE ABOUT BUT THEN THE ANIME DOES "LOL IT WAS BAD ON PURPOSE!" AND I NEVER KNOW HOW TO FEEL ABOUT THAT.  LIKE YOU GOT ME, THE UNIFORMS WERE REALLY DUMB.

Children Who Chase Lost Voices [anime, movie]

I WAS GOING TO SAY THAT THIS WAS VERY BEAUTIFUL BUT SEEMED LIKE IT WAS RIPPING OFF A BUNCH OF STUFF BUT THE MORE I THINK ABOUT IT I IMAGINE THE REPEATED TROPES PROBABLY DIDN'T COME FROM ANIME AT ALL AND I'M JUST PICKING UP ON JAPAN'S IDEAS ABOUT DEATH. ALSO I WATCHED THIS BECAUSE THE WHOLE THING WAS ON YOUTUBE AND MAN I'M GLAD I DID, THIS SERIOUSLY WAS GORGEOUS. PS. THE CAT WAS HILARIOUSLY TOO TINY BUT EVEN THAT IS GREAT. SUPER TINY CAT.

Mario Kart 8 Deluxe [game]

THIS GAME IS REALLY GOOD, I LOVE MARIO KART, DELUXE IS CLEARLY THE BEST VERSION OF MARIO KART 8 AS IT CONTAINS ALL THE CONTENT FROM REGULAR 8 PLUS ALL THE DLC PLUS A LITTLE BIT OF NEW STUFF. BUT JESUS CHRIST IS IT OVERWELMING. LIKE YOU TURN IT ON AND THERE IS 41 CHARACTERS EACH WITH SLIGHTLY DIFFERENT STATS THAT YOU CAN PUT IN HUNDREDS OF KART VARIATIONS TO RACE 48 TRACKS ON 60 CUPS SPLIT ACROSS 5 DIVISIONS. PS. I STARTED RUN EVERY TRACK WITH CAT PEACH ON THE HYRULE BIKE, THEN SWITCHED TO DRY BOWER (THE CREEPIEST CONCEPT IN ALL OF MARIO) ON PIPE KARTS THEN EVENTUALLY SETTLED ON BABY PAULA ON A SPORTS BIKE AND I HAVE LITERALLY NO CLUE HOW MUCH HARDER OR EASIER I MADE THE GAME BY PICKING THESE BUT I GOT GOLD ON EVERY SINGLE TRACK AND UNLOCKED GOLD MARIO.