Capital Reviews

THIS IS ONE OF THE MOST UPSETTING THINGS I'VE EVER WATCHED IN MY ENTIRE LIFE. I KNOW I'M LATE TO THIS PARTY, BUT I DON'T EVEN FEEL LIKE I'M BEING DRAMATIC BY SAYING THAT. I LITERALLY CAN NOT IMAGINE WATCHING THE PUMPKIN EPISODE AS A CHILD AND NOT JUST STARTING TO CRY AND NEVER STOPPING. I'M 34 AND I WATCHED THIS WHOLE THING ALL ALONE AT NIGHT AND IT'S PAST MIDNIGHT AND I KEEP AVOIDING GOING TO BED BECAUSE AT SOME LEVEL THIS WHOLE NIGHTMARE OF A SHOW HAS ME FREAKED OUT OR SOMETHING.   PS. IT'S LIKE CAT SOUP CAME OUT IN AMERICA IN THE 1930S.

I REALLY LIKED THIS BOOK BUT IT FELT REALLY WEIRD. LIKE MARY ROACH LOVES TANGENTS BUT THIS WHOLE BOOK WAS REALLY SHORT AND FEELS LIKE IT JUST WENT TOTALLY OFF THE RAILS OF EVEN PRETENDING TO BE ON TOPIC. LIKE IT'S SUPER INTERESTING AND FUNNY THAT POLAR BEARS WANT TO EAT USED TAMPONS MORE THAN OTHER BLOODSOAKED PAPER DUE TO FISHY CHEMICALS BUT LIKE THE LAST THIRD OF THE BOOK SEEMED REALLY ODD AT HOW MORE AND MORE IT PULLED AWAY FROM THE ORIGINAL TOPIC AND NEVER RETURNED. THEN THE LAST CHAPTER ON MILITARY AUTOPSIES SEEMED LIKE IT WAS BACK ON SUBJECT BUT KINDA FELT LIKE IT MAYBE DIDN'T GO ANYWHERE, LIKE IT WAS AT THE END BECAUSE IT WAS LESS SUCCESSFUL AS A RESEARCH TOPIC. IT WAS STILL GOOD THOUGH. I GUESS I DON'T REALLY CARE IF EACH CHAPTER IS A COHESIVE WHOLE OR NOT IF EACH ESSAY IS ITSELF INTERESTING?       PS. THE BEST PART OF THE WHOLE BOOK WAS THE FIRST CHAPTER WHERE THE FOOTNOTE WRITES 'COME IN THEIR FOXHOLES" TWICE. MARY ROACH!

HOOOOOLY FUCK. HOW DID I NOT KNOW THIS EXISTED!?!? JUNJI ITO, AKA, "THAT GUY THAT DREW EVERY SCARY JAPANESE THING YOU EVER SAW" GOT A CAT IN REAL LIFE THEN MADE SOME BOOK THAT WAS AN AUTOBIOGRAPHICAL MANGA OF HIM OWNING A CAT. BUT DRAWN IN THE STYLE OF HIS HORROR ART. LIKE A BUNCH OF REALLY SUPER MUNDANE AND DULL STORIES BUT DRAWN LIKE IT'S A HORROR COMIC. PS. MOSTLY THIS IS JUST GOOD WHEN IT'S DRAWING CATS WITH HUMAN FACIAL EXPRESSIONS.

THIS IS A GARBAGE MOVIE FOR SHITTY TRASH PEOPLE.    PS. THE TWO WAYS THE RAIN MADE ME GO TO THIS: 1) MAKING ME NEED SOMEWHERE TO WAIT AFTER WALKING TO THE MALL. 2) MAKING IT SO I WAS WEARING A HOODIE SO I COULD WALK IN THE DOORS AND TO THE TICKET COUNTER WEARING A HOOD LIKE I WAS BUYING A TICKET TO A PORNO OR SOMETHING SINCE EVEN GOING TO THIS FELT EMBARRASSING.

THE ONLY ANIME I CAN STAND TO WATCH ANYMORE IS STUFF MADE BY TRIGGER. BUT A LOT OF THE STUFF TRIGGER MAKES IS SUPER DUMB. BUT THIS WAS KINDA GREAT BECAUSE IT WAS THE DUMBEST THING THEY EVER MADE AND THE WHOLE PREMISE WAS REQUIRING YOU HAD WATCHED EVERY OTHER SHOW TRIGGER HAD EVER MADE TO EVEN KNOW WHAT WAS GOING ON, INCLUDING CRAP LIKE AXE COP AND THAT WEIRD ANIME EXPO SHORT.   PS: ALPHA OMEGA NOVA IS A REALLY GOOD SPACE NAME.

THIS MOVIE WASN'T BAD ENOUGH TO BE AWFUL BUT IT WASN'T REALLY GOOD EITHER. ALSO I WAS GOING TO WRITE THAT IT SEEMED LIKE IT WAS BUILT OF THE SAME SENSIBILITIES AS SUCKER PUNCH AND WHILE I WAS WALKING HOME I REALIZED THIS WAS LITERALLY ZACK SNYDER AND THAT IS WHO THAT IS AND I FEEL LIKE I NEED CREDIT FOR MAKING THAT OBSERVATION INDEPENDENTLY WHILE NOT REMEMBERING THAT THESE MOVIES LITERALLY ARE DIRECTED BY THE SAME PERSON.   PS. DID THIS MOVIE GET A BULK DISCOUNT ON HELICOPTERS? EVERY OTHER SCENE IS SOMEONE BEING IN A HELICOPTER THAT CRASHES AND IT LITERALLY NEVER ACTUALLY HAS ANY EFFECT ON THE PLOT. LIKE 3 OR 4 HELICOPTERS CRASH WITH PEOPLE IN THEM AT DIFFERENT POINTS IN THE MOVIE AND IT NEVER MATTERS ONE BIT.

REMEMBER THIS MOVIE WAS GOING TO BE IN THEATERS BUT THEN WASN'T NEARLY GOOD ENOUGH SO THEY SOLD IT TO NETFLIX INSTEAD? WELL IT'S A WEIRD MOVIE, THE ACTUAL LITTLE PRINCE PARTS ARE BEAUTIFUL AND AMAZING AND THE FRAME STORY IS ADEQUATE AND NOT THE WORST, BUT THE LAST HALF JUST GOES TOTALLY OFF THE RAILS AND IS LITERALLY "HEY WOULDN'T IT BE GREAT IF SOMEONE GOT BRAIN DAMAGE AND WROTE FAN FICTION ABOUT THE LITTLE PRINCE GROWING UP TO BE THE BUSINESSMAN'S JANITOR???"     PS. IT WAS WEIRD ALSO BECAUSE IT WAS EDITED SO WEIRD, EVERY LITTLE PRINCE SCENE SEEMS LIKE IT ENDED TOO EARLY. AND THEY CUT STUFF THAT WAS REFERENCED LATER. LIKE AS A JANITOR HE'S SWEEPING SMOKEY CHIMNEYS AND I GUESS THEY PICKED THAT POINT TO BE SOME BOOK ONLY REFERENCE? I DON'T THINK THEY EVEN REALLY MENTIONED THE ROSE WANTING A GLASS JAR TILL THEY REFERENCED THE STARS BEING IN ONE THEN SHOWING HER JUST RANDOMLY IN ONE IN THE END. ON THE OTHER HAND THEY SHOWED THE PRESENT DAY TIPPLER PLA...