Capital Reviews

WELL THAT MOVIE CERTAINLY ENDED ABRUPTLY. ALSO WHY DID ASLHEY HAVE SUCH AN AWFUL VOICE ACTOR AND WHY DID THE MONK GUY LOOK SO MUCH LIKE THEY WERE TRYING TO DRAW GEORGE CARLIN? WHY DID THEY DRAW A BLACK GUY WITH LIPS THE SIZE OF HIS ENTIRE HEAD? DID BLACK PEOPLE EVEN LIVE IN IRELAND IN 900 AD? ALSO HOLY CRAP THIS WAS THE BEST ANIMATION I'VE SEEN IN BASICALLY FOREVER SO WHO CARES. PS. I LOVE HOW A LIFE TIME OF MOVIES HAD ME EXPECTING HIS WALL TO WORK BUT THEN HAVE SOME SMALL FLAW OR BETRAYAL BUT NOPE, WALL JUST WAS FLAT USELESS.

I LOVE HOW MUCH IS EXPLAINED BY THIS MOVIE, THE FACT THE DIRECTOR DOESN'T SPEAK ENGLISH, THE FACT THE MOM IS SO CLEARLY MENTALLY ILL, AND THE FACT THE STORE GUY WAS LITERALLY CAST OUT OF A MENTAL HOSPITAL. THAT RULES SO MUCH. PS. ON THE OTHER HAND IT'S A LITTLE LIKE KING OF KONG WHERE YOU FEEL A LITTLE SAD ABOUT EVERYTHING LIKE HOW HE KEPT SAYING HE HAD A GOOD RELATIONSHIP WITH HIS DAUGHTER BUT SHE CLEARLY WANTED NOTHING TO DO WITH HIM.

THIS BOOK WAS EXCELLENT AND STEPHEN BAXTER IS ONE OF MY FAVORITE AUTHORS BUT I LOVE HOW OBVIOUS IT IS HOW MUCH HE JUST HAS A CHART OF 5 OR 6 TOPICS AND HE JUST WRITES MIX AND MATCH BOOKS OUT OF THEM. SO YOU GET A BOOK ABOUT TIME TRAVEL, TIME TRAVEL AND SPACE THEN TIME TRAVEL AND CAVE MEN. NOW HE WROTE ABOUT FLOODS SO YOU GET A BOOK ABOUT FLOODS A BOOK ABOUT FLOODS AND SPACE NOW A BOOK ABOUT FLOODS AND CAVE MEN. PS. I LOVE THAT HE LIKES FERAL CHILDREN AND THREW THE LEAFY BOYS IN EVEN THOUGH THEY ARE TOTALLY MADE UP AND I LOVE HE GAVE THE MAIN ONE A HAPPY ENDING BY GIVING HIM A GROSS GIRLFRIEND AND A DEAD DOG CORPSE.

OKAY SO THEY TOOK THE LINES AND STAGE DIRECTION OF HAMLET THEN RANDOMLY DRESSED SOME (BUT NOT ALL) CHARACTERS IN 70S GLAM ROCK CLOTHS THEN PLAYED DAVID BOWIE OVER THE SOUND SYSTEM BRIEFLY DURING A FEW SECTIONS BUT PRETTY MUCH LITERALLY DIDN'T CHANGE ANYTHING ABOUT THE PLAY EXCEPT I GUESS HAMLET DID HEROIN DURING THE SOLILOQUY AND HAD THE ACTRESS(?) THAT PLAYED HAMLET WHO WAS PRETTY BAD AND MESSED UP THE 'LAY MY HEAD IN YOUR LAP' PART WHICH IS THE BEST PART OF HAMLET. PS. ON THE OTHER HAND DAVID BOWIE HAMLET IS A REALLY GOOD IDEA AND THE PLAY WAS OKAY AS A PRODUCTION OF HAMLET IT WAS JUST REALLY REALLY HALF HEARTED ABOUT IF IT WAS GONNA TIE IT TO GLAM ROCK OR NOT.

MY NORMAL RULE IS TO NEVER BUY MOVIE LICENSED GAMES BUT I MEAN COME ON THEY REALLY ACTUALLY MADE A PAUL ROBERTSON SIDE SCROLLING BEAT-EM-UP? HOW CAN ANYONE NOT THINK THAT IS WORTH 10 DOLLARS. PS. PLUS THE CHARACTER SELECT SCREEN IS FROM MARIO TWO, YOU WARP IN AND OUT LIKE MEGAMAN AND IF YOU PUNCH FAT PEOPLE IT MAKES DONKEY KONG SOUNDS SO GOOD GAME.

IT TOOK ME LIKE 3 DAYS TO WATCH THIS MOVIE BECAUSE IT'S SO DAMN WEIRD THAT IT MAKES ME EXHAUSTED TO EVEN WATCH IT FOR MORE THAN A FEW MINUTES AT A TIME. PS: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4bb4y8HEYq8

I REALLY LIKE DISGAEA GAMES BECAUSE THE STORY IS ALWAYS SO STUPID IT'S AWESOME BUT I ALWAYS PLAY THEM AND JUST GET BOGGED DOWN MORE AND MORE BY HOW MANY THINGS CAN BE LEVELED UP AND MY VIDEOGAME OCD JUST MAKES ME NEVER PROGRESS IN THE STORY. PS. MAO IS PRETTY CLEARLY TRYING TO TALK IN AN INVADER ZIM VOICE AND THATS OKAY BECAUSE THIS WOULD BE A PRETTY GOOD PLOT FOR AN INVADER ZIM GAME ANYWAY.

I THOUGHT I HAD FINALLY FOUND A CORY DOCTOROW BOOK I ACTUALLY LIKED AND COULD READ WITHOUT ROLLING MY EYES AROUND IN MY HEAD AT ALL THE WIKIPEDIA REFERENCES BUT I GUESS HE FORGOT TO KEEP WRITING THE STORY AND SKIPPED OUT ON THE BUILT UP SYMBOLISM OR ACTUALLY ANYTHING HAPPENING IN THE END AT ALL. PS. ACTUALLY THERE WAS A WHOLE TOWN BASED ON WIKIEPEDIA AND THEY MADE SOMEONES GARDEN INTO A MOTORCYCLE TRACK HUUURRRRR