Capital Reviews

I REALLY NEVER GET TIRED OF THESE JAPANESE BODY HORROR MOVIES AND LOVE HOW THEY AREN'T EVEN LOCKED TO A SINGLE GENRE ANYMORE SO IT'S PERFECTLY SENSIBLE TO MAKE A LOVE STORY INSTEAD OF AN ACTION MOVIE. ALTHOUGH IT WAS A LITTLE BORING. PS. I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT A MEATBALL MACHINE IS.

I LIKE THIS BOOK BECAUSE NOTHING HAPPENS. I'M NOT EVEN BEING SARCASTIC, THEY SET UP A BIG FANTASY MAGIC THING AND NOTHING HAPPENS, AND THEY SET UP TEEN HIGHSCHOOL DRAMA AND NOTHING HAPPENS, IT'S JUST KINDA, 'HEY SOME WELSH GIRL HAS NO ADVENTURES'. FOR SOME REASON I REALLY LIKE THAT. PS. THIS BOOK IS JUST A BUNCH OF CLASSIC SCI-FI REVIEWS THE NOVEL/THIS BOOK IS JUST LEE RIKER THE NOVEL.

THE TWIST KINDA MAKES THIS MOVIE MEH, LIKE I MEAN APRIL SEEMS TO BE SOME SORT OF MENTALLY RETARDED BALKI BARTOKOMOUS AND THE LOVE MOSTLY DOESN'T SEEM LIKE IT'S SET UP ON ANYTHING BUT HER BEING HOT. IF A DEMON SACRIFICED FOR ANOTHER IT WOULD SET UP A DYNAMIC THAT DEMONS COULD FEEL, BUT IF THEY JUST GET PUNISHED THEN WELP! PS. MAY AND JUNE WAS THE WORST PART OF THE MOVIE AND DIDN'T FIT THE TONE EVEN A LITTLE.

I MEAN I GUESS MY RULE IS THAT WHEN I BEAT THE LAST BOSS I HAVE TO WRITE ONE OF THESE BUT I MEAN THE LAST BOSS BEING THE END OF THE GAME REALLY MISSES THE POINT OF A DIABLO GAME (ALTHOUGH I AM SURE THERE ARE PEOPLE THAT BEAT NORMAL AND CALL THAT THE END OF THE GAME AND THAT IS WACKY). PS. THE ITEMIZATION FEELS REALLY WONKY RIGHT NOW LIKE ALL THE NON "PRIMARY STAT+ VIT" ITEMS HAVE NUMBERS THAT ARE TOO SMALL TO BE FUN AND THAT REALLY BREAKS THE LONG TERM PROSPECTS FOR A LOOT GAME. BUT I MEAN BLIZZARD PATCHES LIKE CRAZY SO I KINDA IMAGINE THAT WILL GET BETTER?

I SERIOUSLY LOVE HELLRAISER MOVIES AND SERIOUSLY LOVE THE CONCEPT OF ASHCAN FILMS. AN ASHCAN FILM IS A FILM PRODUCED DISINGENUOUSLY SOLELY TO HOLD THE RIGHTS TO SOMETHING AND NOT INTENDED TO BE SHOWN, THIS MOVIE WAS PRODUCED IN 3 WEEKS AND SHOWN IN ONE THEATER ONLY TO THE CREW WITH NO TICKETS SOLD. IT'S GREAT BECAUSE YOU CAN TELL IT WAS A REASONABLE SCRIPT THAT IS BEING ACTED WITH NO BUDGET AND SUB HIGHSCHOOL PLAY QUALITY TALENT AND A WRONG ACTOR PINHEAD WITH LADY EYES.  PS. CLIVE BARKER WAS MAD THAT THEY LABELED THIS "FROM THE MIND OF CLIVE BARKER' AND WROTE ON TWITTER THAT IT WAS NOT, AND WAS NOT EVEN FROM HIS BUTTHOLE AND THAT SEEMS LIKE THE BEST MOVIE REVIEW EVER.

TOWER DEFENSE IS THE BARE MINIMUM GENRE OF BEING FUN ENOUGH TO PLAY AND THIS WAS THE BARE MINIMUM OF GAME IN THAT GENRE THAT WAS FUN ENOUGH TO PLAY. ALSO IT WAS KINDA BROKEN BECAUSE 8 LASER TOWERS IN A SQUARE BEAT EVERY SINGLE LEVEL AND PLAYING MORE FUN WAS SORT OF VOLUNTARY AND I DIDN'T EVEN FIGURE OUT YOU COULD CHANGE COMMANDERS TILL LIKE THE SECOND TO LAST LEVEL BECAUSE IT MATTERED SO LITTLE WHAT GUNS YOU HAD OTHER THAN LASERS. PS. ON THE OTHER HAND I GOT THIS GAME FOR FREE BY GRABBING SOME 'HEY FREE STEAM CODES' OFF SOME REDDIT POST REAL QUICK.

THIS IMPORTANT AND EDUCATIONAL MOVIE TEACHES US THAT THE CONSEQUENCES OF SEXTING ARE DEATH WHILE THE CONSEQUENCES OF TEXTING IS ONLY PERMANENT PARALYSIS OF THE LEGS. PS. THE FUNCTIONS OF THESE MOVIES IS TO SCARE OLD OUT OF TOUCH MOTHERS, BUT I DON'T THINK I HAVE EVER FIGURED OUT HOW THE CONVOLUTED CHAINS OF FAKE OUT GUILT DO THAT OR WHAT FUNCTION THAT SERVE IN EVERY LIFETIME MOVIE.

OH GOD WHY DID I INSTALL THIS!? I WANTED TO REPLAY DIABLO II BEFORE MAY 15TH THEN I WAS ALL TOUGH GUY LIKE 'OH HEY I'M SO OVER THIS, THIS ISN'T EVEN FUN ANYMORE' THEN INSTALLED THE EASTERN SUN FAN PATCH AND PLAYED THIS NEARLY EVERY WAKING HOUR. PS. NOT EVEN KIDDING THE LACK OF IMPULSE CONTROL I HAVE AROUND THIS GAME ACTUALLY KINDA FREAKS ME OUT. I MEAN IN THE END IT BOILS DOWN TO 'I PLAY IT SO MUCH BECAUSE IT'S FUN' BUT IT'S CLEARLY THE MOST BARE COAT OF PAINT ON JUST BEING A PURE SKINNER BOX.

I WATCHED THIS TOO SO I COULD COMPARE AND CONTRAST. CLEARLY THIS IS THE SUPERIOR MOVIE BECAUSE IT HAS ANT MAN AND DOES NOT SHY AWAY FROM MENTIONING THE ENTIRE SUPER DUMB ANT MAN SET OF POWERS. PS. I THINK THERE IS LIKE 4 MORE MOVIES BUT THIS IS ENOUGH

I DON'T REALLY KNOW WHY I SAW THIS MOVIE, IT SEEMED NEITHER EXCEPTIONALLY GOOD OR EXCEPTIONALLY BAD, THE AVENGERS ARE ABOUT THE MOST Z STRING HERO TEAM AND IRON MAN WAS THE ONLY FEEDER MOVIE THAT I REALLY LIKED. PS. I STILL LIKE IRON MAN, I'LL FORGET WHAT THIS MOVIE WAS ABOUT IN 6 MONTHS.

THE BEST PART OF THIS MOVIE WAS SEEING THAT ELMO WAS ORIGINALLY SOME SORT OF BROOKLYN CAVEMAN VOICE AND THAT IS WHY HE SAYS 'ELMO'. THE OTHER BEST PART WAS IT POINTING OUT THAT ELMO WOULD NEVER SAY 'TICKLE ME'. PS. LETS ALL ADMIT THAT NONE OF US KNEW THE VOICE OF ELMO WAS BLACK.