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Showing posts from May, 2009

Terminator Salvation [movie]

A TERMINATOR HAD TERMINATORS FOR KNEES: MOVIE OF THE DECADE. PS. USB USB HEARTS USB USB SONY VIAO USB USB USB GNR HEARTS HEARTS USB

The Dark Tower: The Long Road Home [book]

UMM ACTUALLY THIS WAS A GRAPHIC NOVEL AND IT HAD SOME PRETTY PICTURES BUT I AM PRETTY SURE NONE OF THIS STUFF REALLY HAPPENED BECAUSE IT WAS PRETTY DUMB AND DOESN'T FIT WITH THE MOOD OF THE DARK TOWER STORY. PS. THE WASTELAND > THE DRAWING OF THE THREE > THE GUNSLINGER > THE WIZARD AND THE GLASS > THIS BOOK > HAVING ANAL CANCER > SONG OF SUSANAH > WOLVES OF CALLA > THE DARK TOWER

Mathematicians in love [book]

THIS BOOK IS SERIOUSLY AWFUL AND THE WORST PART IS THAT IT'S SET IN SOME ALTERNATE UNIVERSE AND IT CAN'T GO 4 PAGES WITHOUT THE AUTHOR BEING SO PROUD HE THOUGHT OF THAT BY MENTIONING THAT IN THAT UNIVERSE THEY EAT RABBIT INSTEAD OF CHICKEN AND TERRORISTS ATTACKED CHICAGO INSTEAD OF NEW YORK AND THEY WEAR 70S CLOTHS AND INSTEAD OF PRESIDENT BUSH THEY HAVE PRESIDENT OAKES. ALSO THE MATH IS CRAP AND THE SCIENCE IS CRAP AND THE STORY IS CRAP AND THE BOOK COVER IS CRAP. PS. I REALLY LIKE THE FACT I'M THE SORT OF PERSON THAT WILL READ A 364 PAGE BOOK THAT I DON'T EVEN LIKE OVER LIKE TWO AFTERNOONS.

We Are the Strange [Movie]

OH HEY THIS MOVIE IS AWFUL. WHO WOULD HAVE GUESSED? ALSO THEY ACT LIKE IT'S INTENTIONAL BUT THE CGI LOOKS LIKE IT WAS MADE IN 1989 AND MAKES REBOOT LOOK LIKE WALL-E. PS. THE MUSIC IS ALL COOL THOUGH

A nuclear family vacation [Book]

THIS BOOK RULES, SOME DUDE JUST TOOK HIS FAMILY ON VACATIONS TO ALL THE NUCLEAR WEAPON SITES HE COULD AND JUST WROTE SOME BOOK ABOUT IT AND IT RULES BECAUSE NUCLEAR CRAP IS ALWAYS SO INSANE. LIKE HOW THE NUCLEAR WEAPON DESIGN LAB NOW MAKES GOLFBALLS AND HOW LIKE THERE WAS TOO MANY DEER ON ONE OF THE TEST SITES SO THEY LET HUNTERS COME IN EVERY YEAR AND SHOOT THEM THEN ON 9/11 THEY WERE ALL 'MAYBE WE SHOULD INVITE A TON OF RANDOM DUDES WITH GUNS TO HANG AROUND THE NUCLEAR BOMBS EVERY YEAR' AND HOW THE PEOPLE THAT TURN THE KEYS ARE IN ISOLATED PODS THAT IN A NUCLEAR ATTACK WOULD HAVE EVERYTHING COLLAPSE AROUND THEN BUT STAY ACTIVE AND THEY DON'T BOTHER TO GIVE THEM ANY FOOD OR ANYTHING SO THEY WERE JUST SUPPOSED TO END THE WORLD THEN DIE. PS. ALSO RAVEN ROCK IS A REAL PLACE? I THOUGHT VIDEO GAMES MADE IT UP, WHAT AN UNNECESSARILY MENACING NAME!

Fanboys [movie]

I GOTTA ADMIT THIS MOVIE WAS A REALLY BIG LETDOWN AND IT WAS WAY MORE A STUPID RANDOM ROAD TRIP MOVIE THAN I HAD HOPED BUT THE FACT IT HAD THX REFERENCES AND ALSO A REALLY AWESOME CAMEO KINDA MADE IT BETTER. LIKE BASICALLY IT GRATED ON MY NERVES THAT EVERY SINGLE PROBLEM WAS JUST CAUSED BY HUTCH BEING A DOUCHE FOR NO REASON AND IT WAS ALL LIKE "LETS HELP OUR DIEING FRIEND HAVE THEIR DIEING WISH" AND HUTCH IS ALL 'NO WAIT LETS BEAT UP STAR TREK FANS AND START FIGHTS AND RUN FROM THE POLICE AND FLIRT WITH HOOKERS FOR NO REASON". PS. SETH ROGAN IS IN LITERALLY EVERY SINGLE MOVIE NOW.

Glasshouse [book]

THIS WASN'T REALLY A BAD BOOK BUT I AM RESENTFUL THAT STROSS WROTE A PLOT THIS BAD BECAUSE I GENERALLY LIKE HIM. IT'S ALL 'OH WE LIVE A BILLION YEARS IN THE FUTURE, AND NOW WE ARE TRAPPED IN A SIMULATION OF THE 1990S WITH 1950S MORALS ENFORCED IN A REALLY CONTRIVED WAY". ALSO THE WHOLE CENTRAL THEME WAS THE DANGER OF GETTING TRAPPED BY GETTING PREGNANT AND AN ALLEGORY WITH THE CATHOLIC CHURCH. ON THE OTHER HAND IT CALLED A BIRD A 'FIST SIZED DINOSAUR' AND THAT RULED. PS ALSO THE MAIN CHARACTER WAS A GUY BUT WAS A GIRL IN THE SIMULATION AND THERE WAS LIKE A MILLION REALLY AWKWARDLY WRITTEN SEX SCENES AND THEY ALL CAME OFF AS CREEPY AND GROSS. AND THEY SAID SOME GUY WAS A GUY THAT 'SHE' COULDN'T BE IN THE SAME ROOM WITH WITHOUT A CHANGE OF UNDERWEAR AND THAT IS THE GROSSEST WAY TO CALL SOME GUY HOT I HAVE EVER READ.

Star Trek [Movie]

THIS IS A GOOD MOVIE AND A GOOD STAR TREK MOVIE AND OLD SPOCK TOTALLY IMPLIED THAT HE WOULD GO HAVE SEX WITH ALL THE VULCAN LADIES. PS. FIREFOX RECOGNIZES SPOCK AS A VALID WORD.

Crank 2 [movie]

THIS MOVIE IS AWFUL BUT ANYONE THAT DOESN'T APPRECIATE WHAT IT IS CAN'T POSSIBLY BE MY FRIEND OKAY? ALSO HOW COME EVERYONE COULD UNDERSTAND CHINESE? ALSO THIS MOVIE FAILS ALL OF SCIENCE FOREVER. PS: THE GIRL SITTING BEHIND ME WAS LITERALLY RETARDED.

Beef: The untold story of how milk,meat and muscle shaped the world [book]

THIS WAS A PRETTY GOOD BOOK, IT DIDN'T HAVE ANY GEE WIZZ FACTS BUT HAD A LOT OF HISTORY ABOUT COWS. AND HOW COWS EFFECTED DIFFERENT CULTURES AND I REALLY ENJOYED LEARNING ABOUT COWS AND ALSO IT HAD A BUNCH OF RECIPES AND THE AUTHOR SORT OF SOUNDED LIKE HE WANTED TO HAVE SEX WITH THE BEEF. "TO EXPERIENCE THE SUBTLE TANGS AND GELATINOUS,PUDDINGLIKE TEXTURE, IT SHOULD BE EATEN WHEN IT'S QUIVERING, VELVETY, AND PURPLE". ALSO IT HAD A WEIRD TAKE ON THE GOLDEN CALF STORY THAT LINKED GOD WITH THE BULL AND THEN THE REJECTED IDEA BECOMING BAAL AND THAT WAS INTERESTING TOO, BECAUSE I NEVER REALLY GOT THAT STORY OTHERWISE. PS: WHY YES I AM A DUDE THAT IN HIS FREE TIME GOES TO THE LIBRARY AND GETS BOOKS ABOUT THE HISTORY OF BEEF FOR HIS OWN ENTERTAINMENT, I WONDER WHY I DON'T HAVE A GIRLFRIEND??????