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Showing posts from June, 2017

Flesh Gordon Meets The Cosmic Cheerleaders [movie]

THIS MOVIE IS WAY TOO LONG AND BORING AND NOT EVEN A LITTLE BIT FUNNY. BUT IT DID HAVE A CERTAIN CHARM, LIKE IF BARBARELLA WAS IN THE FORBIDDEN ZONE BUT NOT GOOD. LIKE THERE IS A FEELING THAT SOMEONE TRIED SO HARD ON THE SPECIAL EFFECTS BUT ALSO WAS SO BAD AT IT. LIKE CLEARLY IT'S ALL SUPER LOW BUDGET BUT ALL THE SPECIAL EFFECTS ARE TYPES THAT CLEARLY TOOK SO SO SO MUCH WORK TO DO, BUT ARE STILL EXTREMELY BAD. LIKE SOMEONE TRIED TO REPLACE MONEY AND TALENT WITH JUST TRYING VERY VERY HARD AND THAT FEELS SWEET.   PS. "YOUR A COMMIE AND A NAZI AND FASCIST AND A REPUBLICAN" "I'M NOT A REPUBLICAN!"

RiffTrax: R.O.T.O.R. [movie]

THE ABSOLUTE BEST PART OF THIS WAS THE GAS STATION CRATE MAN AND HIS TRAP DOOR. WHAT THE HECK EVEN WAS THAT? (THE BEST PART WAS THE STOP MOTION ROBOT AND THE MOVIE GOING OUT OF IT'S WAY AN AWFUL LOT TO EXPLAIN WHY IT COULD MOVE, LIKE SOMEONE ON SET REALLY MADE FUN OF THEM FOR IT AND THEY REALLY WANTED TO SHOW THEY THOUGHT OF AN ANSWER).   PS. THE BEST PART WAS THE EXTREMELY WACKY ENDING. ALSO DOCTOR STEELE ONLY WAS EVER IN TWO MOVIES AND I THINK I NEED TO WATCH THE OTHER ONE BECAUSE HER CHARACTER IN THAT IS "MARY TURD"

Romeo and/or Juliet: A Chooseable-Path Adventure [book, game]

THIS BOOK IS GREAT. AN EBOOK IS THE BEST WAY TO READ A CHOOSE YOUR OWN ADVENTURE BOOK. LIKE IS THIS EVEN READABLE AS A PHYSICAL BOOK? DOING THE MATH MACHINE AS THE NURSE? SPEAKING OF THE NURSE BY FAR THE BEST PART OF THIS BOOK IS READING ALL THE WEIRD OR GROSS THINGS THE NURSE SAYS THEN HAVING TO LOOK UP IF THE BOOK IS JUST MAKING GAGS OR IF THEY REALLY SAID THAT. ALMOST ALWAYS THEY REALLY SAID THAT. ROMEO AND JULIET IS WEIRD.     PS. I READ THIS LARGELY BECAUSE SOMETHING SAID "LORD KISSINGTON" AND KISSINGTON WAS A FAKE NAME I MADE UP AND I ALWAYS JOKE THAT RYAN NORTH IS JUST THE BETTER VERSION OF ME, BUT DID I JUST STEAL THAT NAME FROM HIM AND HE USED IT EARLIER AND I FORGOT OR DO I JUST FLAT OUT MAKE UP THE SAME STUPID JOKES AS HIM?

Kubo and the Two Strings [movie, amazing]

THIS IS ONE OF THOSE REVIEWS WHERE I WATCH SOMETHING WAY LATE THAT EVERYONE UNIVERSALLY SAID WAS SUPER GOOD THEN I JUST SAY IT'S SUPER GOOD AND HAVE NOTHING TO ADD.   PS. ACTUALLY I FEEL LIKE A MONSTER FOR SAYING THIS BUT THE ANIMATION ALMOST FEELS LIKE IT'S *TOO* GOOD. LIKE THIS IS THE BEST STOP MOTION ANIMATION THE HUMAN RACE HAS EVER MADE AND BEING SO GOOD KINDA FLIPS MY BRAIN INTO SAYING 'OH, THIS IS CGI' AND THAT KINDA SUCKS. LIKE IT THE ANIMATION WAS SO AMAZING IT WAS HARD TO REMEMBER TO BE AMAZED?

Chroma Squad [game]

THIS GAME WAS FINE BUT IT WAS WEIRD HOW MUCH KICKSTARTER RUINED IT. LIKE IN STORY TELLING "CONSERVATION OF DETAIL' IS A CONCEPT FOR A REASON AND IT JUST FELT WEIRD OVER AND OVER WHEN SOMEONE WOULD SHOW UP SUDDENLY AND TELL THEIR FIRST AND LAST NAME THEN EXIT THE STORY FOREVER IMMEDIATELY.   PS/ ALSO THIS GAME REALLY WAS FINE SO I HATE BEING SO NEGATIVE ABOUT IT BUT LADY GAGA PARODY BASED VILLAIN? I GUESS THEY HAD NO INTENTION OF ANYONE EVER PLAYING IS GAME AFTER 2015 WHEN IT CAME OUT. YEESH.

Nekopara Vol. 0 [game, anime, comic,garbage]

HATOFUL BOYFRIEND WAS FUNNY BECAUSE IT WAS A PARODY, THIS IS JUST THE THING IT WAS PARODYING. IT'S THE BONUS EPISODE THING OF THE GAME ABOUT A GUY THAT JUST FUCKS A BUNCH OF CATS? AND ALSO FUCKS HIS SISTER I THINK? ALSO IT'S A LINEAR VISUAL NOVEL SO IT'S NOT EVEN A GAME LIKE HATOFUL WAS, ALSO HATOFUL WAS ALL FROG FRACTIONS AND THIS ISN'T. PS. I BOUGHT THE VISUAL NOVEL HUMBLE BUNDLE AND BOY AM I NOT EXPECTING MUCH OUT THIS HORRIBLE COLLECTION OF ANIME GARBAGE FOR BAD PEOPLE.

Yojo Senki: Season 1 [anime]

THIS IS AN ANIME ABOUT A MAN WHO IS MURDERED AND THEN IS REINCARNATED AS A 9 YEAR OLD GIRL WHO IS A NAZI AND A WIZARD AND HAS TO SAY CHRISTIAN PRAYERS TO POWER UP HER NAZI COMPUTER GEM. ACTUALLY EXCUSE ME, IT'S AN ALTERNATE HISTORY EUROPE WHERE WORLD WAR I STARTED LATER SO IT'S WORLD WAR I WITH WORLD WAR II TECHNOLOGY SO SHE'S NOT *TECHNICALLY* A NAZI. THE WHOLE THING IS JUST AN EXCUSE TO DRAW A LOT OF CLOSEUPS OF CRAZY EYES.   PS. I WATCHED THIS WHOLE SERIES IN LIKE TWO DAYS BECAUSE SOME FAKE TWEET SAID THIS WOULD BE BANNON TRUMP'S FAVORITE ANIME AND I FELT ANGRY I THAT I WAS OUT OF THE ANIME SCENE ENOUGH I DIDN'T GET THE JOKE WITHOUT LOOKING IT UP.

Wonder Woman [movie]

AT THE LEAST THIS WAS INFINITY TIMES BETTER THAN ALL THE OTHER JUSTICE LEAGUE STUFF THEY'VE DONE SO FAR. ON THE OTHER HAND THE BAD GUY LOOKED LIKE NIGEL THORNBERRY.   PS. THERE WAS ABOUT TEN MINUTES I SAT SQUIRMING IN MY SEAT BECAUSE THEY KEPT SAYING 'NO MAN'S LAND' LIKE IN THE CONTEXT OF A WORLD WAR I TRENCH AND HOW IT'S CALLED NO MAN'S LAND BECAUSE NO MAN COULD CROSS IT AND I KEPT FLINCHING EVERY TIME IT SEEMED LIKE THEY WERE GOING TO HAVE HER SAY "I'M NO MAN". THEY NEVER DID SAY IT BUT I KNOW THEY WERE STILL THINKING IT.