Capital Reviews

THIS MOVIE IS PETTY GOOD. SOME CHARACTERS SEEMED HALF HEARTED BUT IT WAS GENERALLY GOOD. THE ENDING WAS A LITTLE SAPPY AND COULD OFF DONE WITH JUST INDICATING WITHOUT SHOWING THEY WOULD GET TOGETHER BUT WHATEVER. PS. I LOVED EVERYBODY LOVES RAYMOND PLAYING A DIFFERENT CHARACTER BECAUSE HE WAS GREAT.

I REALLY LIKE THIS BOOK. ITS A BOOK ABOUT RELATIONSHIPS AND NOSTALGIA AND TIME ONLY GOING ONE WAY AND PEOPLE BEING HURT SO BAD THEY NEVER RECOVER AND I CONNECTED TO A BUNCH OF IT AN AWFUL LOT. AT THE SAME TIME GOD MURAKAMI ENDS EVERY BOOK BY DROPPING WHATEVER STORY HE WROTE AND THEN WAVING WEIRD METAPHYSICAL STUFF THAT DOESN'T REALLY MAKE SENSE. LIKE YOU CAN THEMATICALLY TIE IN LIKE MEMORY AND DEATH BUT LIKE THE FATHER IN LAW PLOT JUST FLAT DROPS OUT. I GUESS HIS WEIRD SCHEME DIDN'T MATTER.   PS. ALSO THE SEX SCENE WAS CLEARLY SUPPOSED TO DESCRIBE THE BEST AND MOST ROMANTIC SEX TO EVER HAPPEN BUT WAS 99% TAKING ABOUT HIS BALLS.

PEOPLE LOVED THIS MOVIE BUT I DIDN'T LIKE IT AT ALL. IT WAS JUST A BAD MUSICAL.  EVERYONE WAS UNLIKABLE. PS. THE JOKES WITH THE MANY SUNGLASSES WAS OKAY.

I LIKE THAT I SAID 'OH, THIS IS JUST LIKE THAT EPISODE OF DS9" THEN BY THE TIME I SAID THAT THEY JUST MADE IT EVEN MORE THAT EPISODE OF DS9. THIS WAS JUST THAT EPISODE OF DS9 BUT WORSE.   PS. ALSO I FEEL LIKE I REALLY LOST TRACK OF WHAT WAS EVEN HAPPENING BY THE END OF THIS MOVIE. THE WHOLE SECOND HALF OF THE PLOT JUST FELT LIKE NOTHING.

IT'S NOT TO SAY THIS IS BAD, BUT EVERYTHING ABOUT IT SEEMED TO SAY IT WOULD HAVE BEEN BETTER IF IT WAS RELEASED ON STEAM AS AN ADVENTURE GAME. JUST EVERYTHING ABOUT ROTOSCOPED PEOPLE WALKING AGAINST MUCH HIGHER QUALITY BACKGROUNDS AND EVERYTHING ABOUT THE "SOLVE A MYSTERY BY TALKING TO A SERIES OF PEOPLE INDIVIDUALLY EACH IN A  DIFFERENT SCENE WHILE THEY MONOLOG FOR A WHILE AND THEN REQUIRE YOU TALK TO SOMEONE ELSE BEFORE THEY WILL CONTINUE" SCREAMED LATE 90S FMV GAME, NOT MOVIE.   PS. THE DOCTOR GUY WAS GREAT THOUGH, HE CAN BE A MOVIE.

THIS WAS SO EXTREMELY BAD. BUT IT WAS SO EXTREMELY BAD IN SUCH A BIZZARE WAY. LIKE IT FELT LIKE IT MUST HAVE SOME SECRET BEHIND IT, LIKE IT WAS MADE BY MADLIBS OR SOMETHING. LIKE THE WHOLE GIANT TOBLERONE THING? WHAT EVEN WAS THAT. IT WASN'T JUST REGULAR STUPID AND IT DIDN'T FEEL LIKE MONKEY CHEESE RANDOM, IT FELT LIKE A COMPUTER WROTE THIS BY PICKING RANDOM WORDS OR SOMETHING. LIKE ONE EPISODE WAS VAUGELY RANMA 1/2 AND THAT MADE IT WORSE BECAUSE IT MADE ME FEEL LIKE MAYBE EVERYTHING WAS REFERENCED BUT I DON'T THINK IT WAS.   PS. ALSO IT WAS MADE BY VAMPIRE WEEKEND AND WILL SMITH'S SON WITH JUDE LAW AND SUSAN SARANDON . WHICH ITSELF FEELS LIKE A CLAIM MADE BY A RANDOM TEXT GENERATOR.

THIS SHOW WAS PRETTY FRUSTRATING. LIKE IT HAD SUCH A GOOD CAST AND SOME OF THE JOKES WERE LEGITIMATELY GOOD. BUT SO MUCH OF IT WAS OFF PUTTING OR ANNOYING. LIKE WHOLE CHARACTERS WERE A WASTE OF TIME.   PS. I LIKE THAT BASICALLY THE LAST SCENE OF THE SEASON WAS SAYING THE EXACT THING MY CAPITAL REVIEW WAS GOING TO SAY: "THIS NETFLIX SHOW HAS WAY TOO MANY LITTLE KID GENITALS"

A LOT ABOUT THIS MOVIE SCREAMS 'WE WROTE THIS AS A COMEDY BUT THEN DECIDED TO TONE THAT DOWN LATE IN PRODUCTION' SO IT ISN'T A TERRIBLE MOVIE BUT IT JUST KINDA FEELS LIKE NOTHING. LIKE THE GOOFYNESS LEVELS GO UP AND DOWN TOO MUCH AND IT FEELS WEIRD SHE CAN GET LIKE MILITARY NIGHT VISION GOGGLES BUT NOT JUST A GUN OR SOMETHING. AND WACKY SIGHT GAG STUFF FEELS MORE LIKE IT BELONGS IN THE MOVIE WITH "WE ALL MISS BREAKFAST BECKY" THAN WHAT 90% OF THE REST OF THE MOVIE WAS.   PS.THE TRAILER SHOWED LITERALLY EVERY SINGLE THING THAT HAPPENED BUT ALSO WAS A BETTER MOVIE THAN THE ACTUAL MOVIE BECAUSE IT USED A LESS STUPID SONG FOR THE "I GOT YOU BABY" MODERN UPDATE.

SO LIKE, I EXPECTED THIS TO BE A TRASH FIRE SEQUEL THAT DIDN'T NEED TO EXIST AND TO BE FAIR THE PLOT OUTLINE IS ABOUT AS STUPID AS I COULD HAVE EXPECTED, BUT MAN, THIS IS ACTUALLY SUPER GOOD? LIKE ACTUALLY GOOD? LIKE IT WAS SHOT WELL AND HAD GOOD FILMOGRAPHY AND GOOD CONCEPTUAL STUFF AND WAS JUST ACTUALLY GOOD.   PS. K'S WIFU: JERK OFF INSTRUCTIONS.

MAN, XCOM IS ONE OF MY FAVORITE GAMES EVER. ON THE OTHER HAND I PLAYED THIS SO MUCH AND IT'S SUCH A GAME BASED ON STRESS AND SETBACKS AND EVERYTHING BEING WORSE FOREVER I FEEL LIKE I COULD FEEL THAT LEAKING INTO MY EVERYDAY LIFE. LIKE IT MADE MORE MORE PESSIMISTIC AND TAKE SETBACKS HARDER? STILL THE BEST. I LOVE SOMETHING FINALLY USED THE NEMESIS SYSTEM AGAIN (IT'S A REALLY DUMB GIMMICK BUT IT'S SUPER CHARMING).   PS. WHAT EVEN IS WITH THE STAR TREK NEXT GENERATION STUFF? THEY HIRED FIVE FRIGGIN ACTORS FROM STAR TREK TO MAKE THIS DLC? THAT IS FUNNY AND COOL I GUESS, BUT LIKE WHY? IT'S HILARIOUS BUT IT FEELS SO DISCONNECTED FROM EVERYTHING. (IT'S A REALLY DUMB GIMMICK BUT IT'S SUPER CHARMING)

TO BE HONEST IVE WATCHED EVERY VERSION OF EVERY SCENE A MILLION TIMES OVER THE YEARS BUT ITS BEEN SINCE LIKE THE 90S THAT I ACTUALLY WATCHED THIS START TO END AS A MOVIE. I THONK I LIKE BLADE RUNNER AND APPRECIATE IT BUT NEVER FEEL IT CLUCK WIH ME AS A MOVIE THAT MUCH, SO I JUST WATCH PARTS OF IT. EVERYTHING EVER IS FROM BLADE RUNNER. PS. ITS A MOVIE THAT PLAYS UP HOW WEIRD OWLS LOOK WELL.