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Showing posts from April, 2011

Portal 2 [game]

PORTAL WAS SUCH A GOOD GAME IT REALLY FELT LIKE THIS GAME COULD NEVER LIVE UP TO IT BUT OVERALL IT REALLY DID, THE SONG WAS LESS GOOD AND THERE WAS PARTS BETWEEN CHAMBERS WHERE THE PUZZLES HAD THAT VIDEOGAMY PROBLEM OF YOU BEING ABLE TO IDENTIFY THE PUZZLE ELEMENTS EASIER THAN THE GOAL OF THE PUZZLE. BUT THIS GAME STILL DELIVERED 'SHE HAS A MEDICAL DEGREE IN FASHION FROM FRANCE' AND A STORY THAT WAS INCREDIBLY ENGAGING. PS. I LIKE THAT GLADOS, CAVE, WHEATLY AND THE APOCALYPSE EMERGENCY SYSTEM ALL HAD ALMOST IDENTICAL FUNCTIONS AS CHARACTERS BUT ALL MANAGED TO BE UNIQUELY HILARIOUS EXCEPT MAYBE THE APOCALYPSE EMERGENCY SYSTEM, I DON'T THINK THAT HAD ANY MEMORABLE LINES BUT CAVE AND WHEATLY ONLY HAD MEMORABLE LINES.

Cutting Edge 2: Going for the Gold [movie]

THE BEST PART OF THIS MOVIE IS THE IMPLICATION HE WAS GOING TO SHAKE UP SKATING WITH HIS UNCONVENTIONAL STREET MOVES AND THEN NOTHING EVEN RESEMBLING THAT EVER HAPPENED IN ANY CAPACITY. THE WORST PART OF THIS MOVIE WAS EVERY PART OF THIS MOVIE. PS. WHY DID THE PARENTS WANT HIM SO MUCH? FORCING HIM TO LIVE IN THEIR HOUSE AND TIEING THEM TO THEIR DAUGHTER? AS FAR AS THEY KNEW HE WAS A GUY SHE SCREWED IN CALIFORNIA AND THEN HE STALKED HER.

Summer's Moon [movie]

I MEAN MAYBE I AM TOO USED TO MOVIE PEOPLE BEING SUPERHEROS AND THIS IS GONNA BE ALL BLAME THE VICTIM BUT THERE WAS ABOUT A MILLION TRILLION SCENES WHERE IT WASN'T REALLY CLEAR WHY SHE DIDN'T ESCAPE OR KILL THEM I MEAN THERE IS EVEN A PART WHERE THEY GAVE HER A KNIFE TO HOLD. I LOVED THE BAIT AND SWITCH ANTAGONISTS THOUGH SINCE THE FIRST ONE WAS SUPER DOUCHEY AND I WAS JUST GOING TO COMPLAIN ABOUT THAT IN THIS REVIEW UNTIL IT TURNED OUT HE ENDED UP PROTECTING HER AND THERE WAS AN EVEN MORE BAD BAD GUY. PS. I LOVED THE FLY MOTIF, I WONDER IF THEY BOUGHT FLIES.

Resonance of Fate [game]

I HONESTLY THINK THIS GAME GOT SUCH BLAH REVIEWS BECAUSE THE PEOPLE REVIEWING IT WERE TOO DUMB TO UNDERSTAND THE COMPLICATED COMPLICATED MECHANICS BECAUSE I LOVED EVERYTHING ABOUT THIS GAME, EXCEPT MAYBE I LOVED IT TOO MUCH AND GOT ALL WEIRDLY OVER LEVELED SO THE LAST TWO CHAPTERS WEREN'T FUN. OH ALSO "I'M GONNA FILL YOU WITH MORE HOLES THAN A BEEHIVE' WASN'T FUN TO HEAR SO MANY TIMES. ALSO I LOVE HOW IT WAS A RIFF ON THE SAME STORY AS FINAL FANTASY 13, WAS THAT INTENTIONAL? PS. YOU HAD TO FIGHT DOGS WEARING HATS AND THE HATS HAD THEIR OWN HP BARS.

Packing for Mars [book]

MARY ROACH BOOKS TEACH ME SO MANY AMAZING FACTS THAT I AM STARTING TO JUST THINK THEY ARE ALL MADE UP. ON THE OTHER HAND I WANT TO LIVE IN A WORLD WHERE SPACE TOILETS ARE AWFUL AND THEY JUST PRETEND THEY WORK RIGHT FOR PUBLIC IMAGE AND THAT JAPANESE ASTRONAUTS HAVE TO DO ORAGAMI TESTS AND DRAW COLOR PENCIL DRAWINGS OF THEIR CREW. PS. THIS BOOK HAD BARELY ANYTHING TO DO WITH PACKING FOR MARS OR MARS AT ALL. ALSO WHY DIDN'T IT FOLLOW THE NAMING CONVENTION OF OTHER MARY ROACH BOOKS? IT SHOULD BE "SPACE: THE CURIOUS SCIENCE OF LEAVING THE EARTH".

Bossypants [book]

THIS DID NOTHING FOR MY INABILITY TO SEPARATE LIZ LEMON FROM TINA FAY. IT ALSO MADE ME REALIZE THAT TINA FAY USES BETTER MADE UP WORDS THAN ME AND THAT I HOPE NO ONE ELSE READS THIS BOOK AND REALIZES THAT I JUST AM SLOWLY STEALING AND INTEGRATING TINA FAY MADE UP WORDS INTO MY VOCABULARY. PS. IT WAS WEIRD BECAUSE THE BABY TOENAIL THING WAS ON 30 ROCK LIKE LAST WEEK, AND I KEPT EXPECTING THE BOOK TO MENTION THAT AND NOW IT FEELS LIKE IT WAS TRYING TO PULL SOMETHING OVER ON ME.

Panty And Stocking with Garder Belt [anime]

I LOVED THE WAY THIS DID JOKES WITH ANIMATION STYLE AND CAMEOS BY STUFF LIKE REN AND STIMPY BUT MAN WAS THIS SHOW EMBARRASSING TO WATCH, FROM HOW SHE LOST HER POWER AT THE END TO THE TITLE OF THE SHOW, GOD DAMN I FEEL ASHAMED THIS WILL EVEN BE ON THIS BLOG AS A THING I WATCHED FROM THE NAME ALONE. PS. I LOVED THAT GIR WAS A MAIN CHARACTER DESPITE THE FACT I DON'T EVEN REMOTELY UNDERSTAND WHAT HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE OR WHAT WAS GOING ON IN THAT EPISODE THAT OBVIOUSLY WAS THERE TO EXPLAIN IT.

Boston [City]

I WENT TO BOSTON ONCE AS A JOKE, A RADIO AD SAID THERE WAS A YARN FESTIVAL SO WE DROVE ALL THE WAY TO BOSTON TO SEE THE YARN FESTIVAL BUT IT WAS LIKE 2AM WHEN WE GOT THERE SO WE DROVE RIGHT BACK WITHOUT STOPPING. PS. BUBBAJAM IS FROM BOSTON.

Chicago [City]

I WENT TO CHICAGO ONCE, I ATE SOME FOOD AND SAW A CAT. PS. I WENT SOME PLACES FARRIS BUELLER WENT

Afrikorps [book]

THIS IS A BOOK WHERE IT'S THE FUTURE WHERE SPANISH SPEAKING MUTANTS HAVE TAKEN OVER AMERICA AND AFRICANS, INCLUDING AFRICANS WHO HAVE BECOME MONKEYS THREATEN TO TAKE OVER EUROPE, AND THREATEN TO OVERTAKE THE WHITE PEOPLE'S CIVILIZED LANDS. ALSO IT IS WRITTEN LIKE A CHILDREN'S CHAPTER BOOK WITH SUPER LARGE FONT AND 3 PAGE LONG CHAPTERS ABOUT AN INVISIBLE TANK NAMED MIGHT MAX BUT ALSO CONTAINS LINES LIKE "SHE PULLED HIM INTO HER SOFT, MOIST TREASURE, THEN SHE BEGAN A SLOW ROTATION BENEATH HIS BODY" SO, WELP! PS. ME MY BROTHER AND SISTER WENT TO BULL MOOSE AND FOUND THE WORST 50 CENT BOOKS POSSIBLE BECAUSE WE ARE ALL HIPSTERS THAT LIKE THINGS IRONICALLY. MY SISTER GOT "WHORESON" AND MY BROTHER GOT 3 BOOKS FROM THE "RAT BASTARD" SERIES.

Undoing Gender [book]

THE CHAPTERS ABOUT GENDER AND SEXUALITY WERE REALLY WELL WRITTEN AND ENLIGHTENING BUT THE CHAPTERS ABOUT OTHER THINGS SEEMED TO BE WRITTEN REALLY BADLY AND GO OFF TOWARDS CRAZYTOWN, PARTICULARLY A WHOLE CHAPTER ABOUT HOW EVERY KID NEEDS A LITTLE INCEST THAT I AM PRETTY SURE MUST HAVE BEEN PART OF SOME SORT OF CRAZY FREUDIAN THEORY THAT I DON'T KNOW THAT MADE MORE SENSE IF IT WASN'T GOING OVER YOUR HEAD. ALSO THIS BOOK WAS WICKED DOWN ON GAY MARRIAGE FOR BEING HETERONORMATIVE. PS. I ASKED FOR PEOPLE TO SUGGEST BOOKS THEN SOMEONE DID AND I JUST READ SOME OTHER BOOK INSTEAD THEN COMPLAIN THE BOOK I RANDOMLY PICK TO READ IS OF VARYING QUALITY CHAPTER TO CHAPTER.

Rubber [movie]

THIS IS A MOVIE ABOUT A TIRE THAT COMES TO LIFE AND THEN KILLS PEOPLE WITH IT'S MIND, BUT IT ALSO HAS A SECOND PLOT ABOUT A GROUP OF PEOPLE WHO ARE WATCHING THE TIRE AS A FILM WHICH THEY HAPPEN TO BE IN AND THERE IS A WEIRD CRAZY METAPLOT ABOUT FOURTH WALL CONCEPTS LIKE SOME CHARACTERS BEING AWARE IT'S A MOVIE AND SOME NOT AND THEM TALKING TO EACH OTHER. PS. THIS MOVIE MADE ME REALLY SAD, BECAUSE I LIKED IT SO MUCH BUT DON'T KNOW WHO TO TELL ABOUT IT. I JUST DON'T KNOW THE KIND OF PEOPLE THAT WOULD WANT TO WATCH THIS ANYMORE.

My little pony: twinkle wish adventure [movie]

JESUS CHRIST THIS MOVIE IS IRREDEEMABLY AWFUL IN EVERY POSSIBLE WAY. I LIKE IT THOUGH BECAUSE THIS TERRIBLE MESS IS PROBABLY EXACTLY WHAT PEOPLE THINK THE SHOW YOU WATCH MUST BE LIKE IF YOU SAY YOU WATCH MY LITTLE PONY IN REFERENCE TO FRIENDSHIP IS MAGIC. PS: HERE IS HOW YOU CAN TELL HOW BAD THIS WAS: SCOOTALOO WAS A MAIN CHARACTER.