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Showing posts from September, 2013

Kingdom Hearts: Dream Drop Distance [game]

MOST EVERYTHING I LIKE JOKINGLY OR IRONICALLY OR IN SOME WAY DISINGENUOUSLY. FOR WHATEVER REASON KINGDOM HEARTS IS ONE OF THE ONE THINGS ON EARTH THAT I JUST FLAT OUT LIKE. IT'S DUMB, I CAN ADMIT HOW INSANE EVERY PART OF IT IS, BUT I GET WAY INTO IT WITH NOT EVEN A TINY BIT OF IRONY TO LIKING IT. THE GAMES ARE FUN, THE STORY IS OVER THE TOP, THE CAMEOS CRAZY GO NUTS, EVERYTHING ABOUT IT IS WONDERFUL. PS. MICKEY MOUSE CASTING STOPZA IS THE BEST THING THAT EVER HAPPENED AND I LITERALLY DROPPED MY DS AND STARTED WAVING MY ARMS AROUND LIKE A MUPPET THAT PART WAS SO FUCKING GREAT AND I DIDN'T KNOW ANY OTHER WAY TO HANDLE WHAT I WAS SEEING. STOPZA IS NOT A REAL THING!

Mavis Beacon Teaches Typing 21 [game, nonfiction]

SO WE GOT A NEW VERSION OF THIS AT SCHOOL. FOR THE KIDS TO GRIND THROUGH FOR 80 MINUTES A WEEK FOR TWO YEARS, I FINISHED THE WHOLE THING IN 34 MINUTES SO HAVE A GREAT TIME WITH THAT KIDS. (WHY DON'T PARENTS COMPLAIN? WHY DON'T PARENTS CALL UP ANGRY ABOUT HOW MUCH A WASTE OF TIME MAKING KIDS PLAY THIS STUPID GAME SO MUCH IS? THEY DON'T EVEN GRIND KIDS THROUGH MULTIPLICATION FOR THAT MANY HOURS). PS. THE ONLY TIME IN HISTORY I WILL GET TO USE THE GAME/NONFICTION TAG.

John Dies at the End [movie]

THIS MOVIE HAD A BUNCH OF FANTASTIC IDEAS BUT JUST NEVER MANAGED TO USE ANY OF THEM VERY WELL. IT REALLY SET UP SOME POWERFUL STUFF THEN JUST DID NOTHING WITH IT. PS. IT JUST SET UP EVERY PHILIP K DICK BOOK, THAT IS WHAT IT DID.

Breasts: A Natural and Unnatural History [book, nonfiction]

I LEARNED TWO THINGS FROM THIS BOOK: 1) ALWAYS BREASTFEED YOUR KIDS NO MATTER WHAT. 2) NEVER BREAST FEED YOUR KIDS NO MATTER WHAT. (MAYBE BREAST FEED ONE KID THEN THROW HIM AWAY AND THEN BREASTFEED THE NEXT ONE FOR KEEPS? I LIKE THAT THE BOOK SUGGESTED THIS BUT LIKE AS A JOKE BUT SORT OF KINDA YOU COULD TELL THEY THOUGHT IT WAS MAYBE A GOOD IDEA?) PS. THINGS BREAST IMPLANTS HAVE BEEN MADE OF HISTORICALLY: GLASS BALLS, IVORY, WOOD CHIPS, PEANUT OIL, HONEY, GOAT'S MILK, OX CARTILAGE, WAX AND A TUMOR OFF SOME WOMAN'S BUTT.

Phil the alien [movie]

THIS MOVIE COULDN'T DECIDE IF IT WAS A SILLY JOKE OR IF IT WAS BAD BOY BUBBY AND IT SEEMED LIKE IT COULD HAVE DONE EITHER WELL BUT COULDN'T CHOOSE SO DID NEITHER WELL. PS THE GUNS WERE ALL NES LIGHT GUNS PAINTED GREY AND THAT DIDN'T SEEM LIKE A JOKE, IT JUST SEEMED LIKE THIS MOVIE WAS WICKED CANADIAN AND THEY COULDN'T GET HAND GUNS.

Monsters university [movie]

THIS MOVIE HAD NO ARISTIC REASON TO EXIST AND WAS A CLEAR CASH IN BUT IT HAS A UNIQUE MORAL: IF YOU HAVE A DREAM AND TRY HARD ENOUGH TO MAKE IT HAPPEN WHILE EVERYONE TELLS YOU YOU DON'T BELONG AND WILL NEVER MAKE IT MAYBE THEY ARE RIGHT AND YOU NEVER DID BELONG AND WON'T MAKE IT. PS. THE MOM LISTENING TO HER TUNES IS THE BEST JOKE.