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Showing posts from May, 2010

(movie)

THIS IS THE BEST MOVIE I HAVE SEEN IN LIKE A MILLION YEARS AND I'M NOT EVEN GOING TO SAY THE NAME OF IT BECAUSE I FEEL LIKE EVEN NAMING IT WILL DIMINISH THE SHOCK OF THIS BIZARRE WONDERFUL MOVIE WHEN I FORCE MANY MANY PEOPLE TO WATCH IT. PS. SORRY FOR A POINTLESS ENTRY!

The Children's Story [short story]

THIS IS A PRETTY GOOD STORY EXCEPT I AGREE WITH THE BAD GUYS ENOUGH IT TOOK ME A WHILE TO FIGURE OUT THEY WERE BAD GUYS WHEN I AM PRETTY SURE THE CONCEPT WAS THAT YOU'D BE INSTANTLY SHOCKED THAT CHILDREN CUT UP THE FLAG AND THREW OUT THE PLEDGE OF ALLEGIANCE. PS. I LITERALLY READ THIS BECAUSE IT WAS FEATURED HEAVILY IN A CHUCK NORRIS COMIC BOOK. I'M NOT EVEN KIDDING.

LOST Finale [television]

IT WAS PERFECT. AND IT'S OVER NOW. I FEEL PHYSICALLY ILL. PS, THE LIGHT ON THE ISLAND AND THE LIGHT ON THE DOOR ARE CLEARLY THE SAME LIGHT AND THE SHOW IS WAY DUMBER AND MORE POINTLESS IF YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND THAT.

robocop director's cut [movie]

FACT: ROBOCOP IS A GOOD MOVIE AND YOU SHOULD WATCH IT IF YOU HAVEN'T IN A FEW DECADES. PS. I AM PRETTY SURE SUVS THAT GET 8MPG EXIST NOW.

Pepino's [Restaurant]

WHATEVER YOU ORDER YOU CAN GET A SIDE AND THE CHOICES ARE LIKE NACHOS OR TACOS OR CHEESE CRISP OR SOMETHING ELSE AND NO MATTER WHAT YOU ORDER THEY GIVE YOU A BIG FLAT ROUND HARD TACO SHELL STYLE FLAT TORTILLA THAT HAS CHEESE AND ONE OTHER THING ON IT THAT TAKES HALF THE PLATE AND THEN GIVES YOU YOUR BURRITO OR WHATEVER WAY OFF TO THE SIDE OF YOUR PLATE UNDER A TON OF GROSS WHITE LETTUCE AND TOMATO CHUNKS WITH PARTS OF THE STEM SO IT LOOKS LIKE A GROSS SIDE SALAD. PS. WHY DON'T I DO RESTAURANTS ON HERE MORE? WHY DO I DO THESE AT ALL ANYMORE?

Hot Tub Time Machine [movie]

I DON'T REALLY GET WHY THE PLOT REQUIRED MACGUFFIN SODA TOP SECRET CHEMICALS WHEN THE HOT TUB WAS CLEARLY ALREADY A TIME MACHINE, IT'S LIKE 'WHITE CHICKS' WHERE THEY SET THE PLOT UP ONE WAY THEN HAD A TOTALLY DIFFERENT PLOT INSTEAD. PS. FAT MICHAL CERA

Crisis Core [Game]

BETWEEN THE FACT BATTLES SPIN THE CAMERA AROUND AND THE EASE OF STOPPING TO DO LIKE 50 MISSIONS IN THE MIDDLE OF A LEVEL IT'S SERIOUSLY EASY TO SPEND LIKE 90% OF THIS GAME HAVING FORGOTTEN WHERE YOUR GOING. PS: SO BASICALLY EVERY RANKING OFFICER IS A ONE WINGED ANGEL? OH

Big Finish Doctor who: Dead London

HOLY CRAP WHY DID THIS HAVE SUCH A DEPRESSING ENDING AND WHY DID NO ONE IN THE ACTUAL CAST ACTUALLY NOTICE HOW UNHAPPY THE ENDING WAS AND HOW TERRIBLE THE SOLUTION WAS!? EVERYONE IS JUST TRAPPED IN A DREAMWORLD, HE DIDN'T SAVE ANYONE AT ALL! HE JUST TRAPPED THEM ALL FOREVER WITH THE BAD GUY!!! PS: THE VOICE OF THE BAD GUY WAS CLEARLY THE SLITHEEN DAD AND I WAS GETTING REALLY NERVOUS THAT IT WAS GOING TO TURN OUT TO BE A SLITHEEN THING BUT NAH.

patapon 2 [game]

THIS IS THE BEST GAME BUT IT ACTUALLY TAKES ACTUAL SKILL SO WHEN I STOPPED PLAYING FOR A WEEK I REALIZED I COULD NEVER EVER PLAY IT EVER AGAIN. PS: ALSO WHILE I WAS PLAYING IT I WALKED AND TOOK ACTIONS IN REAL LIFE ALONG THE BEAT OF THIS GAME.

Community [television]

THIS SHOW IS BETTER THAN I COULD POSSIBLY IMAGINE A SHOW BEING.

Human Centipede: First Sequence [movie]

MANDRID CUT APART SIAMESE TWINS SO FOR SOME REASON HE WANTED TO SEW PEOPLE TOGETHER SO HE SEWED SOME GIRLS TO A JAPANESE DUDE AND THEN THE MOVIE WAS SERIOUSLY BORING BECAUSE NO ONE COULD TALK EXCEPT THE BAD GUY WHO DIDN'T REALLY SAY OR DO ANYTHING MOST OF THE MOVIE BUT THE GIRLS WERE SO BAD AT ACTING MAYBE THAT WAS INTENTIONAL. THEN THE WORST COPS EVER CAME AND THEN THEY DIED THEN THE MOVIE WAS OVER. PS. THREE DOG IS THE FUNNIEST PHRASE EVER.

Sukiyaki Western Django [movie]

I WILL GET ME THAT WASKLY WABBIT! PS. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pNiX_l-HEGM

Ponyo [movie]

I LIKED THIS MOVIE A LOT BUT I WOULD BE EMBARRASSED TO ADMIT HOW MANY PLOT POINTS I CAN'T ACTUALLY EXPLAIN AT THIS POINT. AND HOW MANY PLACES I CAN'T NAME PEOPLE'S GOALS OR MOTIVATIONS FOR THE VARIOUS ACTIONS THAT HAPPENED IN THIS MOVIE. PS. I LIKE WATCHING SUBTITLED CHILDREN'S MOVIES WITH PEOPLE BECAUSE I TOTALLY KNOW LIKE MAYBE 200 WORDS IN JAPANESE BUT THAT SEEMS A LOT WHEN IT'S A LITTLE KID MOVIE AND EVERYTHING IS SUPER SIMPLE AND I CAN NAME A FEW WORDS IN MOST SENTENCES.