Capital Reviews

 This is How you Lose the Time War [book, audiobook] I AM COUNTING THIS FOR "RETELLING OF AN OLD STORY" BECAUSE IT'S JUST 'TWO SOLDIER/SPIES ON OPPOSITE SIDES OF A WAR FALL IN LOVE" AND NOT MUCH PAST THAT. HOWEVER, IT'S AN EXTREME GIMMICK BOOK,  WHERE THE BOOK HAS TWO AUTHORS, EACH WRITING ONE CHARACTER'S LETTERS AND RESPONDING TO EACH OTHER. SO THE LETTERS ARE JUST AMAZING, I HOPE THE TWO AUTHORS ARE ACTUALLY DATING, BUT THEN THE KINDA FRAMING STORY IS MUDDLED, WHERE IT FEELS LIKE THEY HAVE TROUBLE ESTABLISHING THE WORLD TOTALLY COHERENTLY AND THEN ENDING STUFF FEELS WEIRD AND HAPPENS TOO FAST. ALSO I AM NOT SURE WHAT THE VERY END IS SUPPOSED TO BE AND HOW IT PLAYS WITH THE TITLE. THE LETTERS ARE THE POINT OF THE BOOK THOUGH AND THEY ARE JUST SO WELL WRITTEN.  PS. YEAH I READ THIS BECAUSE THE BIGOLAS DICKOLAS TWEET. THATS WHY EVERYONE READ THIS BOOK

Barbie [movie]  HA, THIS MOVIE IS ACTUALLY LEGITIMATELY GOOD, NOT JUST IRONIC OR FUNNY OR SOMETHING. I LIKE THAT IT'S NOT EVEN AN AD FOR BARBIES AND KINDA COMES OUT TO "ACTUALLY KIDS DON'T EVEN LIKE BARBIE ANYMORE AND THE WHOLE THING KINDA SUCKS BUT IT WAS IMPORTANT ONCE" AS THE CLOSEST IT GETS TO ADVERTISING ACTUAL BARBIE THEN THE DEPROGRAMMING SPEECH AT THE END WAS LIKE, THE MOST ACTUAL MESSAGE A MOVIE HAS EVER HAD, ESPECIALLY FROM A JOKE TOY MOVIE.  PS. THE BEST REVIEW OF THIS MOVIE IS WHEN I SAW IT THE THEATER WAS FULL OF LITTLE KIDS AND JUST IN THE ROW I WAS IN ONE FAMILY LEFT IMMEDIATELY WHEN KEN SAID HE HAD 'ALL THE GENITALS" AND THEN ANOTHER FAMILY LEFT BECAUSE A KID KEPT LOUDLY SAYING THEY WERE BORED UNTIL THEY HAD TO LEAVE. 

 The Green Knight [movie] YEAH, THIS IS ONE OF THOSE MOVIES THAT I KNEW I WOULD LIKE SO MUCH I COULDN'T GET MYSELF TO WATCH IT BECAUSE OF THE PRESSURE. BUT YEAH, IT'S GOOD. I LOVE HOW CLEAR IT IS THEY JUST OWN ONE BIG SPOT LIGHT AND DECIDED TO MAKE EVERY SINGLE EFFECT IN THE ENTIRE MOVIE TURNING ON AND ON THAT LIGHT AND USING GELS. IT'S LIKE LEGITIMATELY GREAT.  I WOULD SAY LIKE 75% OF SCENES INVOLVE CAMERA LOOKING AT SOMETHING, SPOTLIGHT BEHIND A WALL DEAD CENTER TO THE CAMERA THEN SPOTLIGHT COMING ON AT SOME POINT TO SHOW THE MOOD SHIFTING AND IT LOOKS *SO GOOD* PS. I DO NOT THINK "MY SISTER QUEEFED YOU OUT" IS A REAL PHRASE FROM THAT TIME PERIOD OR THIS TIME PERIOD OR ANYTHING ANYONE HAS EVER SAID EVER. WHY DID HE SAY THAT?

 Dragon Ball Super: Super Heroes [anime, movie] I LOVE THEY MADE A PICCALO MOVIE FEATURING THE RED RIBBON ARMY. I LOVE IT JUST FLAT OUT STARTS ASKING IF YOU ARE OLD ENOUGH TO EVEN REMEMBER THE RED RIBBON ARMY AND HAS A LARGE FOCUS ON GOKU'S GRANDKID TO MAKE SURE YOU FEEL EXTREMELY OLD. HONESTLY I REALLY DO LIKE DRAGON BALL, NOTHING ELSE COULD BE AS STUPID AS IT IS AND ACTUALLY BE GOOD. IT'S JUST LIKE THE EASIEST, SIMPLEST THING TO WATCH. ALSO I FEEL LIKE THEY HAD A BUNCH OF SCENES WHERE THEY SHOWED A BUNCH OF CHARACTERS FOR LIKE ONE SECOND AND I MEAN EVERY DRAGON BALL MOVIE IS NOSTALGA AND THIS ONE CLEARLY WAS THAT, BUT I HAVE A CONSPIRACY THEORY THEY USED A BUNCH OF THE BUDGET TO MAKE MODELS IN THE NEW 3D ART STYLE SO THEY CAN USE THEM FOR OTHER THINGS.  PS. SUPER SAI-ANTS

 Nimora [movie] THIS IS GOOD AND WELL DONE, BUT IT'S A WEIRD DOUBLE REVERSE SUMMER WARS THING. LIKE, THERE WAS A CREATOR AND THEY HAD A STORY IN THEIR HEART AND TOLD IT VIA AN IP BRANDED CRAPPY WATERED DOWN VERSION DIGIMON MOVIE THEN MANY YEARS LATER GOT A BUDGET AND MADE THE MOVIE THEY WANTED WITH SUMMER WARS. IN THIS THE AUTHOR MADE A CHEAP TUMBLR WEBCOMIC THEN GOT A GIANT BUDGET AND GOT TO FLESH OUT THEIR WORLD AND THEMES VIA A HIGH BUDGET IP BASED SHE-RA SERIES, THEN YEARS AFTER THAT MADE THIS AND IT'S QUITE GOOD BUT FEELS LIKE WEIRD SHE-RA REMAKE FANFICTION NOW.  PS. SOMEONE GAVE ME THE BOOK OF THIS A LONG TIME AGO AND I READ THE START THEN PUT A BOX ON TOP OF IT THEN NEVER READ IT AGAIN, LIKE I KNEW IT WAS UNDER THE BOX AND MOVING THE BOX WOULD NOT HAVE BEEN DIFFICULT BUT ONCE IT WAS UNDER THERE IT WAS DONE FOR. 

 The Star Diaries [book, audiobook] I WAS GOING TO USE THIS AS BOOK IN THE FUTURE, BUT IT'S JUST SUCH A GOOD BOOK I AM GIVING IT 'COZY BOOK". IT'S JUST SO GOOD, I LOVED READING IT.  IT'S BASICALLY GULLIVER'S TRAVELS BY WAY OF FUTURAMA, WRITTEN IN THE 1950S IN THE USSR. THE FORMAT IS SPACE GUY IJON TICHY HEADS TO A PLANET FOR SOME TRIVIAL REASON, THE PLANET HAS SOME OUTLANDISH PREMISE, THEN IT'S SOME SOCIAL COMMENTARY ON SOCIETY OR SOME SCIENTIFIC THEORY OR A CRITICISM OF CHRISTIANITY AND THEY ARE ALL JUST REALLY SMART BUT EMBEDDED IN THE GOOFIEST NONSENSE POSSIBLE. LIKE, REPEATING THEMES ARE SOCIETIES WHERE EVERYONE ON THE PLANET HATES THEIR STUPID GIMMICK BUT NO ONE CAN SPEAK UP, ALIEN SCIENTIST PROVING HUMANS CAN'T EXIST,  TIME LOOP STUFF,  BAD KID IN SUNDAY SCHOOL QUESTIONS LIKE "SO IF YOU GET CRYOGENICALLY FROZEN WHEN DO YOU DECIDE IF YOU GO TO HEAVEN OR NOT" AND LIKE, A STORY WHERE THOUSANDS OF YEARS IN THE FUTURE PEOPLE TRY TO CLEAN UP T