Posts

Showing posts from June, 2022

The Mouse on the Moon [movie]

The Mouse on the Moon [movie] I THINK THIS MOVIE IS JUST ACTUALLY GOOD. I REALLY LIKE AMAZON PRIME IS THE ONLY MOVIE SERVICE WHERE IT FEELS LIKE YOU CAN CRAWL INTO THE BACK AND FIND THE JUNK OLD MOVIES BUT THIS MOVIE IS JUST ACTUALLY KINDA GOOD.  PS. THE JOKE ABOUT THE USSR AND AMERICANS BOTH ACCIDENTLY HEILING HITLER AND THE JOKE ABOUT THE BRITISH NEWS LIKING THE WATCH ARE BOTH REALLY GOOD JOKES. A LOT OF THE OTHER JOKES WERE DUMB AND FUNNY BUT THOSE TWO JUST WERE ACTUALLY GOOD JOKES. 

Dr. Goldfoot And The Bikini Machine [movie]

 Dr. Goldfoot And The Bikini Machine [movie] THIS IS A VERY BORING MOVIE INTERSPACED WITH VINCANT PRICE IN THE MOST LOONY TOONS POSSIBLE SITUATIONS THAT ARE VERY VERY FUNNY.  PS. I FEEL LIKE THE MYSTERY SCIENCE INVENTION EXCHANGE MIGHT BE LITERALLY BASED ON THE SCENES FROM THIS. 

Guess What We Learned in School Today? [movie]

 Guess What We Learned in School Today? [movie] THIS IS A 1971 MOVIE ABOUT A SMALL TOWN TRYING TO BAN SEX EDUCATION IN THEIR LOCAL SCHOOL. ALTHOUGH IT'S MOSTLY A BUNCH OF SEMI CONNECTED SEGMENTS THAT MOSTLY DEVOLVE INTO SHOWING SOMEONE'S BREASTS. IT'S NOT GENERALLY A VERY MODERN MOVIE, BUT IT'S DEPRESSING HOW UNCHANGED THE CENTRAL CORE OF THE MOVIE IS. LIKE JUST THE SCENE OF A SCHOOL BOARD MEETING AND PEOPLE YELLING ABOUT THE TEACHERS INDOCTRINATING THE STUDENTS WITH HOMOSEXUALITY.   PS. NONE OF THE GAY PANIC PLOTLINE IS REMOTELY ACCEPTABLE BY ANY MODERN STANDARD, BUT I HAVE TO ADMIT LAUGHING AT HOW EXTREMELY OVER THE TOP THE MUSIC AND CAMERAWORK WAS FOR THAT STUFF. IT'S NOT FUNNY THE WAY IT WAS SUPPOSED TO BE FUNNY BUT IT WAS VERY FUNNY FOR LIKE, FLASHING THE CAMERA BETWEEN THEIR FACES WITH HORROR MOVIE MUSIC PLAYING 

Doctor Strange in the Multiverse of Madness [movie]

 Doctor Strange in the Multiverse of Madness [movie] THIS WAS SO MUCH BETTER THAN SO MUCH RECENT MARVEL STUFF, I FEEL LIKE THIS WAS GENERALLY REALLY GOOD. BUT MAN, I THINK MARVEL IS FALLING INTO WHERE STAR WARS IS WITH ME, WHERE SO MUCH FILLER JUNK COMES OUT THAT EVEN IF SOMETHING GOOD COMES OUT I JUST REALLY CAN'T CARE THAT MUCH. ON THE OTHER HAND, NOT CARING ABOUT THIS MADE ME TOTALLY NOT KNOW THE VERY DUMB CAMEOS THIS HAS SO BEING BLINDSIDED BY THAT WAS FUN. ALSO THE MUSIC FIGHT MUST HAVE BEEN FROM A FAMOUS COMIC OR SOMETHING BECAUSE IT WAS SO UNFATHOMABLY STUPID I'M JUST GOING TO ASSUME IT WAS A BELOVED COMIC PUT TO SCREEN OR SOMETHING. IT WAS SO BAD! ALSO ZOMBIE STRANGE WINKING AND MAKING A WINK NOISE. .  PS. ALSO PIZZA PAPA WAS FUN.  

Sweetheart [movie]

 Sweetheart [movie] EH, I WANTED TO LIKE THIS. I FEEL LIKE I LIKED IT WHEN IT WAS LIKE ISLAND OF THE BLUE DOLPHINS PLUS HORROR MOVIE. I FEEL LIKE I ALSO TOTALLY WOULD HAVE LIKED  IT IF IT WAS “THE REAL HORROR IS HOW MEN TREAT THEIR GIRLFRIEND” BUT IT IS LIKE 90 MINUTES LONG SO THEME SHIFTS JUST DIDNT WORK WELL. PS. I LOVE HOW SHE WENT RIGHT TO PRIMITIVE TOOLS. SHE HAD STUFF. I FEEL LIKE YOU COULD SCRAPE THE SCALES OFF A FISH WITH THE BATTERY COVER OF A GAMEBOY EASIER THAN WITH A ROCK. 

Spiderhead [movie]

Spiderhead [movie] THIS JUST ISN'T VERY GOOD OR INTERESTING.  PS. I LIKE THE OUTRAGE THE DRUGS ARE NAMED AFTER BINGO SQUARES, LIKE, THEY ARE JUST A LETTER AND A NUMBER, NONE OF IT MEANT ANYTHING ANYWAY, THAT SEEMS LIKE A TOTALLY FINE SOURCE OF CODE NAMES. 

Diablo Immortal [game]

Diablo Immortal [game] THIS IS LIKE, AN ACTUALLY BAD GAME. IT'S SAD TOO, BECAUSE I REALLY LIKE DIABLO GAMES AND I REALLY KINDA DO LIKE THE MOMENT TO MOMENT GAMEPLAY, EVEN THE STORY AND VOICE ACTING IS AT LEAST AS GOOD AS DIABLO III, IT'S JUST THE MOST ROTTEN GAME I'VE EVER PLAYED WITH MICROTRANSACTIONS. LIKE THE TRUTH IS DIABLO IS 100% GAMBLING ADDICTION PSYCHOLOGY. DIABLO II IS 100% DOPAMINE LOOT DROP SLOT MACHINE AND THAT IS OKAY BECAUSE IT'S VIDEOGAME ITEMS FOR VIDEOGAME MONEY. THIS FEELS SO DIALED IN TO MAKE THAT INTO REAL MONEY GAMBLING FOR NOTHING. LIKE YOU CAN PAY 3 DOLLARS FOR ORBS TO BUY CRESTS TO BUY A RIFT RUN TO GET A LEGENDARY GEM WITH A .045% CHANCE TO BE FIVE STAR FIVE STAR (WHICH IS DIFFERENT THAN A FOUR STAR FIVE STAR) AND YOU NEED TO GET LIKE 3 OF THE SAME ONE TO LEVEL IT TO MAX LEVEL. LIKE THERE ARE VIDEO STREAMS OF PEOPLE PUTTING IN LIKE 4500 DOLLARS AND NOT GETTING ANYTHING SIGNIFICANT. IT FEELS LIKE THERE IS NOT A SINGLE INCH OF THIS GAME THAT IS N

Revita [game]

 Revita [game] THIS GAME HAS LIKE 50 THINGS GOING ON WITHOUT BEING VERY FOCUSED ABOUT IT, BUT IT'S STILL PRETTY GOOD. I PLAYED ROUGE LEGACY AND REALLY DIDN'T LIKE IT AND THIS GAME WAS SO MUCH MORE WHAT I WAS LOOKING FOR. WHEN I WAS A LITTLE KID WITH AN NES SO OFTEN I'D DO SOMETHING LIKE TURN IT ON AND PLAY LIKE THE FIRST LEVEL OF MARIO 2 AND THEN THAT WAS IT, JUST FOR FUN. I PUT LIKE 50 HOURS INTO THIS AND IT'S HILARIOUS HOW MUCH OF THAT WASN'T REALLY TRYING TO DO SOMETHING, JUST HAVING A GAME ON TO MESS AROUND WITH IN FOR A BIT WHILE WATCHING TV OR SOMETHING. I THINK THAT IS THE SECRET REASON I LIKE ROUGELIKES PS. SOME ROUGELIKE BINGO TYPE THING I SAW A LONG TIME AGO HAD ONE BE "LAST BOSS IS YOUR MOM" AND LOL, THIS GAME HAS A WHOLE STAGES OF GRIEF THEME, SO LIKE THE FIRST BOSS IS DENIAL AND THE LAST BOSS IS ACCEPTANCE. THEN SPOILER: IF YOU BEAT THE GAME A BUNCH OF TIMES AND PLAY THROUGH A SECRET ROUTE YOU UNLOCK A SECRET FINAL LEVEL TO FACE THE REAL LAST

Pym [book, audiobook]

 Pym [book, audiobook] YOU KNOW HOW POE WROTE ONE NOVEL AND IT WAS WEIRD AND BAD AND NO ONE LIKED IT? THIS IS A MODERN SEMI-SEQUEL. THIS BOOK IS WILD. I LOVE HOW MUCH YOU CAN TELL THE FIRST SECTION IS IN SOME WAY AUTOBIOGRAPHICAL TO THE AUTHOR, WHERE THE STORY IS IT'S A BLACK PROFESSOR BEING FIRED FROM A COLLEGE FOR ONLY STUDYING CLASSICAL LITERATURE WHEN HE WAS CLEARLY HIRED TO GIVE THE SCHOOL AN 'ETHNIC' CLASS. YOU CAN TELL THIS IS AUTOBIOGRAPHICAL BECAUSE THE WRITING OF THIS BOOK IS MOSTLY JUST OKAY, BUT YOU ABSOLUTELY POSITIVELY CAN TELL THE PARTS WHERE HE TALKS ABOUT THE BOOK ARE SO EXTREMELY WELL THOUGHT OUT AND ANALYTICAL YOU CAN ABSOLUTELY TELL THIS IS THE AUTHOR'S THESIS STUCK INTO A NOVEL. IT'S GREAT.  IT THEN TRANSITIONS INTO LIKE AN ENTIRELY DIFFERENT TONE OF AN ALL BLACK TEAM GOING TO ANTARCTICA AND BECOMING SUPER ENSLAVED BY SUPER WHITE PEOPLE (SNOW YETIS) AND THEN SHIFTS TO THEM ESCAPING AND LIVING IN A DOME. I DON'T KNOW, IT DOESN'T 100% WORK

Teen Titans Go! & DC Super Hero Girls: Mayhem in the Multiverse [movie]

 Teen Titans Go! & DC Super Hero Girls: Mayhem in the Multiverse [movie] THIS WAS NOT GOOD AT ALL, THIS WAS JUST REAL BAD. THE ONLY GOOD JOKE WAS THE PART WHERE THEY MADE FUN OF DC SUPER HEROS FOR HAVING LOW RATINGS AND NOT BEING POPULAR. I GUESS THE JUSTICE LEAGUE HAVING SILLY VOICES WAS FUNNY TOO, LIKE 10 YEARS AGO IN A COLLEGE HUMOR VIDEO.  PS. IT FEELS LIKE THEY WROTE THIS SO AWKWARDLY. THE WHOLE PREMISE OF THE WRAP AROUND SEGMENTS WAS MOCKING THAT THERE WAS NO REAL CROSS OVER WITH THE PUNCH LINE BEING THE ULTRA TRIVIAL CROSSOVER BEING THEIR TV STAND. BUT LIKE, THERE WAS A CROSSOVER PART,  AND THE END HAD TO WRITE AROUND THAT IN A REALLY WEIRD WAY, LIKE TEEN TITANS WROTE IT ONE WAY AND DC SUPER HERO GIRLS WROTE IT THE OTHER WAY AND THEY COULDN'T RERECORD ANYTHING.