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Showing posts from June, 2018

A Wrinkle in Time [movie]

MAN, THIS REALLY WASN'T VERY GOOD HUH? THE SAD THING IS THAT THIS WAS ALWAYS THE LAMEST OF THE 4 BOOKS AND I FEEL LIKE THIS MOVIE REALLY LANDED ON THE CORRECT SET OF THEMES FOR WHAT THE CLIMAX SHOULD HAVE BEEN BUT THE WHOLE MOVIE WASN'T EVEN REMOTELY GOOD ENOUGH TO ACTUALLY SUPPORT IT. PS. CASTING MOST CHARACTERS AS BLACK HONESTLY SEEMED LIKE A GOOD CONCEPT FOR CASTING. CASTING CALVIN AS WHITE BUT NOT IRISH JUST SEEMS LIKE THEY MISSED THE POINT?

The Void [movie]

THIS MOVIE WAS ABSURDLY STYLISH. I THINK THEY MADE THIS MOVIE FOR LIKE 50,000 DOLLARS OR SOMETHING. THIS HAD SERIOUSLY GOOD PRACTICAL EFFECTS. ON THE OTHER HAND I FEEL LIKE I LITERALLY NEVER KNEW WHO OR WHERE ANYONE WAS AND I DON'T KNOW WHY. LIKE IT WASN'T CONFUSING LIKE A MYSTERY PLOT, IT WAS CONFUSING LIKE NEVER REMEMBERING WHICH PEOPLE WERE IN THE SAME ROOM.   PS. ALSO THE SOUND MIXING WAS ABSURD AND SOME SCENES PEOPLE WERE QUIETLY MUMBLING THEN THE NEXT SCENE WOULD BE SO LOUD I HAD TO TURN THE VOLUME DOWN.

XX [movie]

THIS WAS A WOMAN LED HORROR ANTHOLOGY. THE FIRST AND LAST ONE WERE PRETTY GOOD. THE FIRST STORY WAS BY FAR THE BEST ONE. ALTHOUGH I CAN'T DECIDE IF IT BEING SO VAGUE MADE IT BETTER OR WAS A COP OUT. WHAT WAS IN THE BOX??? PS. THE THRILLING PREQUEL TO XXX

Emperor All [short story]

I REALLY REALLY LIKE THE CONCEPT OF THIS. I ABSOLUTELY LOVE HOW THE POWERS ARE PORTRAYED. THIS IS A COOL STORY.   PS. I LIKE HOW OFF HAND IT MENTIONS LIKE, WIZARDS EXIST. LIKE IT'S NOT RELEVANT TO THE PLOT BUT JUST RANDOM FLAVOR WITH "OH YEAH, THERE IS LOVECRAFT MONSTERS AND WIZARDS TOO"

Florence [game, comic]

I DON'T KNOW, THIS WAS QUITE PRETTY BUT IT NEVER REALLY GRABBED ME LIKE I FIGURED IT WOULD. I ONLY LIKE HIPSTER ROMANCE COMICS LIKE CLUMSY, NOT STUFF LIKE THIS. IT'S VERY OBVIOUS I NEVER HAVE HEALTHY RELATIONSHIPS AND DON'T RELATE TO THIS AT ALL.   PS. THE FIRST DATE PUZZLE PIECE MINIGAME WAS EXCEPTIONALLY GOOD. LIKE NOT A GOOD MINIGAME, THIS WHOLE THING IS BARELY A GAME. BUT LIKE, AN EXTREMELY GOOD AND CUTE VISUAL METAPHOR.

Singularity [movie]

THERE IS A POINT AT THE START WHERE THE WRITING ALMOST SEEMS LIKE IT'S GOING TO BE LESS FUNNY NEIL BREEN STYLE BUT AFTER THAT THIS MOVIE IS NOTHING BUT ABSOLUTELY BORING.   PS. THE ONLY ENJOYMENT THIS FILM PROVIDES IS GETTING ME TO JUST IMAGINE EVERYTHING AS EVERYONE FROM NIER AND HAVING JOHN CUSACK BE ADAM AND/OR EVE.

Wizard of Legend [game]

IT'S WEIRD, THIS GAME ISN'T HALF BAKED, IT'S LIKE 95% BAKED. LIKE THEY MADE SO CLOSE TO A SUPER AMAZING GAME BUT GAVE UP TOO EARLY OR SOMETHING. LIKE MAKING DOZENS OF SPELLS AND LIKE A HUNDRED TOTALLY UNIQUE RELICS AND A SUPER GOOD COMBAT SYSTEM THEN LIKE... DIDN'T FINISH MAKING ALL THE BOSSES OR SOMETHING? LIKE THERE BEING 5 ELEMENTS IS A BIG DEAL AND THEN YOU FIGHT 3 BOSSES AND THATS IT. NO MIXING IT UP. PS. ALSO THE HELLSING GLASSES AND THE YELLOW CAPE ARE SO MUCH BETTER THAN ANY OTHER STARTING EQUIPMENT IT KINDA SUCKS

Transformers: The Last Knight [movie]

THIS ISN'T NEWS TO ANYONE BUT GOOD LORD THIS MOVIE IS BAD AND BORING. IT COMES UP WITH SO MANY HUGE PLOT POINTS THEN DOESN'T MENTION THEM AGAIN FOR HOURS. LIKE IT'S GOT MERLIN'S GRAND DAUGHTER AND EXCALIBUR AND THEY KILL GOD AND OPTIMUS PRIME IS EVIL AND CYBERTRON IS STEALING THE EARTH'S GEOTHERMAL HEAT AND HARIOT TUBMAN HAD A TRANSFORMER AND LIKE 50 THINGS ARE HAPPENING AND NONE OF IT MATTERS.   PS. THE ONLY GOOD PART IS WHEN THEY FIRST CAPTURED THE MERLIN GIRL THEN THEY CUT TO A SHOT OF HER ROLLING SO FAR DOWN A HILL. I DON'T LAUGH OUT LOUD AT MOVIES MUCH BUT THAT GOT ME. I DON'T EVEN KNOW IF IT WAS A JOKE OR WHAT, BUT IT WAS SO FAR!

Digimon Adventure Tri [anime]

I HAVE REALLY MIXED FEELINGS ABOUT THIS. THEY MADE A DIRECT SEQUEL TO "HEY REMEMBER HOW ONE SEASON OF DIGIMON WAS LIKE A THOUSAND TIMES BETTER THAN ALL THE OTHER SEASONS?" AND SHOWED THE KIDS GROWN UP, BUT THEY RELEASED IT AS 26 EPISODES MADE INTO A SERIES OF MOVIES SO THE PLOT IS KINDA ALL OVER THE PLACE WITH A BUNCH OF REALLY GOOD PLOT IDEAS GETTING SUPER MUDDLED AND WEIRD TONAL STUFF WHERE THE FIRST EPISODES ARE TRYING TO BE LIKE BLACK STAR BUT TOTALLY BLOODLESS SO THEY SHOW A PIECE OF PAVEMENT GETTING HURT OVER AND OVER THEN BY THE END IT'S MORE LIKE THE KID'S SHOW BUT PEOPLE ARE COVERED IN BLOOD. AND LIKE WHOLE PLOTLINES APPEAR AND DISAPPEAR AND LIKE I CAN'T EVEN REMEMBER WHAT HAPPENED TO TAPIERMON. AND THE TRUE FLAW IN THIS WAS THAT THE ORIGINAL HAD A FORMAT THAT MADE ENDLESS BERSERKER RAGE "NOT EVEN MY FINAL FORM" SCENES AND THIS COULDN'T DO THAT. AT LEAST ORDINEMON LOOKED EXTREMELY COOL?   PS. THEY REMADE THIS AND THEY ARE REMAKING FLCL NO...

Castle of the Dragon [comic]

THE REALLY WEIRD THING ABOUT THIS IS THAT IT WAS LIKE 90% FAMILY FRIENDLY THEN JUST RANDOM SCENES WOULD BE SO OVER THE TOP DARK AND SINCE THIS IS BASED ON A FABLE I ASSUMED THE DARK PARTS WERE FROM THE ORIGINAL BUT NOPE. ALSO IT'S ALWAYS GREAT TO LEARN JAPANESE FABLES I DIDN'T KNOW BEFORE BECAUSE WHENEVER I DO I REALIZE I HAVE SEEN IT A MILLION TIMES BEFORE IN EVERY VIDEOGAME OR WHATEVER EVER. PS. I LOVE THAT WHEN THIS TOOK A SCI-FI TWIST THE CHARACTERS IN THE STORY MENTIONED THAT IT'S LIKE THE WOODCUTTER'S DAUGHTER. LIKE IN UNIVERSE THEY ACCEPTED IT'S A CLICHE THAT EVERY RETELLING OF THAT STORY IS SCI-FI NOW.