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Showing posts from October, 2011

Four Warriors of light [game]

THIS GAME SEEMED LIKE IT WAS GOING TO BE REALLY GOOD AND IT KINDA WAS BUT BASICALLY THE SECOND HALF OF THE GAME WAS JUST REDOING THE FIRST HALF OF THE GAME WITH STRONGER ENEMIES AND THE LEVEL SCALING MADE EVERYTHING WAY TOO EASY OR HARD SO IT WASN'T FUN AFTER ALL. PS. AND IT'S REALLY CLEAR HOW AT THE END OF THE DEVELOPMENT THEY WENT "OH CRAP WE DON'T KNOW HOW TO BALANCE THESE SKILLS" SO THEY JUST MADE LITERALLY EVERY SINGLE QUEST SOMEHOW DEPOWER YOU OR LOSE YOUR SKILLS OR SEPARATE THE PARTY.

Submarine [movie]

THIS IS THE MOVIE YOU'D GET IF YOU ASKED A WELSH MICHAL CERA TO REMAKE CLOCKWORK ORANGE. PS. ALSO INSTEAD OF ULTRA VIOLENCE HE GOT CONFUSED AND WATCHED NAPOLEON DYNAMITE AND ADDED A MYSTIC NINJA.

Wet Goddess [book]

THIS IS A BOOK WRITTEN BY A GUY THAT HAD SEX WITH DOLPHINS BECAUSE HE TAUGHT A DOLPHIN TO SPEAK ENGLISH THEN IT TRIED TO RAM HIM TO DEATH AND HE KNEW THAT WAS A SIGN IT WAS SEXUALLY FRUSTRATED AND ALSO HE HAD SEX WITH A DOG AND ALSO THIS IS THE WORST BOOK EVER. PS. MY RULE IS NORMALLY THAT I CAN'T POST ONE OF THESE TILL I FINISH A THING BUT I MEAN I READ A FEW OF THE WORDS ON MOST OF THE PAGES SO THAT IS CLOSE ENOUGH FOR THIS AWFUL BOOK.

Final Flesh [movie]

I MEAN I DON'T KNOW THIS IS A FILM AS MUCH AS IT IS A PRANK BUT THERE ARE COMPANIES THAT WILL FILM PORN SCRIPTS FOR MONEY AND SOME GUY MAILED FOUR OF THEM A NON-PORN SCRIPT AND PAID THEM TO FILM A NONSENSICAL PRETENTIOUS FILM AND THAT WAS THIS MOVIE. KINDA THE FIRST SEGMENT WAS THE ONLY GOOD PART AND IT WENT DOWN HILL AS IT WENT ALONG BUT SOME LADY BREAST FEEDING A RAW STEAK WAS SOME PRETTY QUALITY FILM MAKING. PS. THE BEST PART WAS THE FILM TROUP THAT JUST FILMED IT AS PORNOGRAPHY ANYWAY AND COULDN'T PRONOUNCE ANY OF THE WORDS.

The Binding of Issac [game]

I ONLY HAVE 4 WORDS: HOLY CRAP THIS GAME. IT'S A ROUGELIKE ZELDA WITH WALKING VAGINAS AND FLOATING ABORTIONS. PS. THE SECRET TO WINNING IS TO GET GOOD ENOUGH ITEMS SO YOU KEEP PROGRESSION, BUT NOT SO GREAT YOU FREAK OUT BECAUSE YOU HAVE A ONCE IN A LIFETIME SETUP AND YOUR TOO AFRAID TO RUIN IT.

Deadgirl [movie]

THE PLOT OF THIS MOVIE IS THAT SOME BROS FIND A GIRL TIED UP AND DECIDE TO MAKE HER A RAPE SLAVE THEN IT TURNS OUT SHE'S A ZOMBIE SO THEN THEY HAVE A ZOMBIE RAPE SLAVE INSTEAD. PS. THIS IS REALLY QUITE POSSIBLY THE MOST BRO MOVIE EVER MADE AND EVEN THE PROTAGONIST IS AT BEST ONLY EVER CONFLICTED AT THE CONCEPT OF KEEPING A WOMAN AS A RAPE SLAVE AND ONLY EVER IS ACTUALLY UPSET WHEN THE GIRL HE LIKES IS IN DANGER (A GIRL THAT HE EVENTUALLY RAPES ALSO).