Capital Reviews

HEY, WHAT? THIS MOVIE WAS ACTUALLY REALLY GOOD? I DON'T EVEN REMEMBER IT COMING OUT AND EVERYTHING ABOUT THE PREMISE MAKES IT SEEM LIKE A WACKY WILL FARRELL YELLS TOO MUCH GENERIC COMEDY BUT INSTEAD IT WAS A SUPER BLEAK WRISTCUTTERS A LOVE STORY STYLE EVERYONE SAYS ".......YEAH" A LOT MOVIE?     PS. IT DOES FEEL LIKE WILL FERRELL WATCHED THE TRUMAN SHOW AND SAID "I WANT THAT"

THE PART OF THE MOVIE THAT WAS THE WORST WAS THE PART HOW PACMAN ABSOLUTELY DOES NOT HAVE A "MOVE AT WARP SPEED" CODE YOU CAN ENTER, BUT BEYOND THAT AN ACTUAL CAR IN THE REAL WORLD WOULD NOT HAVE THAT CODE OR EVEN A WAY TO ENTER A CODE LIKE THAT. PS. I LEFT A WOMEN EQUALITY RALLY TO WATCH A MOVIE WHERE SOMEONE LITERALLY WINS A WOMEN AS A TROPHY.

THIS GAME WAS WEIRDLY GOOD. LIKE IT FEELS LIKE IT SOMEHOW FIGURED OUT HOW TO DO JRPG GAMEPLAY ON A PHONE WITHOUT FEELING AWFUL. IT'S A 2.99 GAME AND ONLY A COUPLE HOURS LONG BUT FELT TOTALLY FINE AND EVEN HAD SOME CHALLENGE AND A REALLY GOOD LEVEL UP SYSTEM THAT WAS HALF WAY BETWEEN LINEAR AND FREEFORM THAT REALLY FELT LIKE IT WORKED. (ALSO IT RIPPED A BUNCH OF STUFF OFF FROM PAPER MARIO BUT IT FELT OKAY TO DO THAT).     PS. I WAS GOING TO WRITE THAT IT FAILED BECAUSE IT WAS NEITHER SAD NOR GAY AT ANY POINT BUT RIGHT AT THE END IT MADE SURE TO MAKE THE STORY VERY SLIGHTLY SAD. I GUESS THE WHOLE GAME WAS LITERALLY FIGHTING A RAINBOW SO MAYBE THAT IS A LITTLE GAY. 4 STARS.

I DON'T KNOW, THIS GAME IS FINE, THIS IS SORT OF A NOTHING GAME. ALSO I BEAT THE LAST BOSS AND NOTHING SEEMED TO HAPPEN THEN I WANDERED AROUND FOR LIKE 15 MINUTES THEN I DIED AND I MEAN MAYBE THERE WAS SOME SPECIFIC THING I WAS SUPPOSED TO DO TO GET THE ACTUAL ENDING BUT I COUNT THAT AS BEATING THE GAME I GUESS? PS. THE WEIRDEST PART OF THIS GAME IS THAT YOU CAN REALLY CLEARLY TELL THAT AT SOME POINT IN DEVELOPMENT THIS WAS TOTALLY GOING TO BE SOME SORT OF 16 BIT DARK SOULS THING BUT THAT WAS ABANDONED SO THERE IS LIKE TINY REMNANTS OF DARK SOULS CONCEPTS THAT DON'T REALLY EFFECT THE GAMEPLAY EVER.

I REALLY LIKED MASTERS OF MAGIC AND ALWAYS WANT TO RECAPTURE THE NOSTALGIA BUT NOTHING IS EVER AS GOOD, SO IT'S WEIRD THIS GAME CAPTURED NOSTALGIA BUT THE TOTALLY WRONG NOSTALGIA. THE SINGLE PLAYER SCENARIO MODE IN THIS HAS THE WEIRD FEELING OF BEING A WARCRAFT III MOD MAP. LIKE THE FEELING THAT IT'S SO BUGGY NONE OF THE MAP TRIGGERS EVER WORK RIGHT BUT SO SO BROKEN YOU CAN ALMOST ALWAYS FIGURE A WAY TO MISPLAY THE GAME SO IT DOESN'T MATTER.       PS. I PLAYED THE ACTUAL CIV GAME TOO AND THAT FELT WEIRD AND UNBALANCED, LIKE EVERYTHING FELT COMICALLY WEAK OR COMICALLY STRONG.