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Showing posts from July, 2018

Blame! [anime, movie]

THIS IS A LEGITIMATELY GOOD PREMISE FOR A SCI-FI STORY THAT IS AN EXTREMELY BORING AND HARD TO WATCH MOVIE. 3D ANIMATION FROM JAPAN IS JUST UNIVERSALLY BAD FOR SOME REASON.   PS. LIKE A THIRD OF THIS MOVIES IS JUST SHOTS OF PEOPLE'S EYES DOING TARGETING COMPUTER STUFF.

Teen Titans Go! To the Movies [movies]

THE FUNNY JOKES IN THIS WERE REALLY REALLY FUNNY, ALL THE WEIRD META STUFF LIKE NICK CAGE BEING SUPERMAN AND ALL THE LIKE, DEADPOOL JOKES AND "THAT'S WHERE THE ANIMANIACS LIVE" AND 'ASK YOUR PARENTS WHERE BABIES COME FROM' STUFF WAS REALLY LEGITIMATELY FUNNY BUT MAN DID THIS MOVIE FEEL LIKE IT WAS DRAGGING, EVERY SCENE WAS LIKE 5 TIMES TOO LONG. LIKE THEY WROTE MAYBE 3 REGULAR SIZED EPISODES THEN MADE A MOVIE BY EXTENDING IT AND MAKING THE ANIMATION UGLIER. PS. STAN LEE SHOWING UP WAS HILARIOUS. "I JUST LOVE DOING CAMEOS"!

Darling in the Franxx [anime]

WHAT AN ABSOLUTE TRAINWRECK! THE FIRST SEASON WAS MIXED, THE MONSTERS LOOKED GOOD, THE ROBOTS LOOKED BAD, THE STORY WAS GENERIC, THE BATTLES WERE BLAND, THE FANSERVICE WAS YUCKY. THEN THE SECOND SEASON STARTED WITH A LORD OF THE FLIES BUT NICE TYPE THING THAT WAS GOOD, THEN ALL THE GANIAX PEOPLE LEFT SO IT COULDN'T BE A GIANT ROBOT ANIME ANYMORE AND HAD TO BE A SPACE ANIME AND LIKE FIFTY PLOT TWISTS HAPPENED IN THE LAST 4 EPISODES TO TRY TO JUSTIFY THAT AND IT WAS NONSENSE. PS.  GURREN LANGGEN AND KILL LA KILL ALSO RANDOMLY INTRODUCE ALIENS HALF WAY THROUGH THE STORY SO I GUESS TRIGGER DOES IT EVERY STORY BUT LIKE, THEY BOTH WERE BASED ON EVER ESCALATING THREATS AND WERE ALSO BOTH SILLY SHOWS THAT COULD ACCOMMODATE ABSURD PLOT TWISTS.

Dream Daddy: A Dad Dating Simulator [game]

THIS GAME IS WEIRD, BECAUSE IT'S CLEARLY HATOFUL BOYFRIEND BUT GAY DADS IN A VAGUE VERY POSITIVE WORLD WHERE IT IS JUST NORMAL THAT EVERYONE IN TOWN IS A GAY DAD. BUT IT ALSO IS NON-JOKEY ABOUT IT AND IS REALLY A DATING SIMULATOR, BUT IS ALSO LEANS INTO THE DAD JOKE PART AND EVERYONE IS DADS AND ALL THE LOADING TIPS ARE DAD ADVICE AND THE MINIGAMES ARE ALL PRETTY GOOD?      PS. I FEEL VAGUELY HOMOPHOBIC BECAUSE I CLEARLY PICKED THE MOST JOKEY DAD TO DATE INSTEAD OF DOING ONE OF THE MORE SERIOUS ROMANCES? 

Ant-Man and the Wasp [movie]

THIS MOVIE ISN'T BAD OR ANYTHING BUT IT FEELS LIKE IT CAME OUT OUT OF ORDER OR SOMETHING. LIKE IT SEEMS VERY CONCERNED WITH CAPTAIN AMERICA CIVIL WAR AND IT ALSO THE FIRST ONE WAS MIND BLOWING BECAUSE IT WAS A MILD COMEDY AGAINST A BUNCH OF SERIOUS SUPER HERO MOVIES AND NOW HALF THE MARVEL MOVIES ARE JUST ACTUALLY COMEDIES SO IT JUST SEEMS KINDA HALF HEARTED. ALSO GHOST WAS A COOL CONCEPT AND SPECIAL EFFECT FOR A VILLIAN AND THEY UNDERUSED IT A TON. ALSO THEY NEVER SAID "WASP' EVER IN THE MOVIE EVEN THOUGH THEY DO IN THE TRAILER???? DID THEY EDIT OUT SAYING WASP EVER FOR SOME REASON?   PS. I LIKE THE IDEA THAT TARDIGRADES ARE JUST LIKE AN INHERENT LAYER OF THE UNIVERSE. THE COMIC BOOK SCIENCE IN THIS FELT A LOT LESS COHERENT THAN MOST OF THESE MOVIES.

Divinity: Original Sin 2 [game]

THIS IS CLEARLY THE BEST ONE OF THESE SINCE THE INFINITY ENGINE DAYS. BUT AT THE SAME TIME IT'S SUPER SAD THAT THE FIRST ONE WAS SUCH A TOMFOOLERY SIMULATOR AND THIS ONE IS AN ACTUAL GAME. LIKE IT'S A GOOD ACTUAL GAME BUT I MISS THE 'NEVER FIGHT ANYTHING LEGITIMATELY' GAMEPLAY OF THE FIRST. ALSO I'M VERY SOUR BECAUSE I RAILROADED MYSELF INTO A TERRIBLY BAD ENDING AND NOW I DON'T WANT TO PLAY AGAIN TO GET A BETTER ONE BECAUSE THIS GAME IS ABSURDLY LONG TO THE POINT YOU CAN SEE WHAT PERCENT OF PEOPLE BEAT THE GAME AND IT'S 8% MEANING 92% OF PEOPLE THAT PLAYED THIS GAME NEVER FINISHED IT!   PS. THE STORY ISN'T THE BEST, EVEN THE DIALOG ISN'T ALWAYS THE BEST BUT THE VOICE ACTING IS AMAZING AND WE ALL KNOW I MEAN THE PET PAL VOICE ACTING AND RED PRINCE VOICE ACTING.

FLCL: Progressive [anime]

THIS IS GOOD, THIS IS VERY GOOD. THIS ISN'T A LET DOWN LIKE THE DIGIMON THING WAS, BUT IT'S JUST NOT SPECIAL THE WAY THE ORIGINAL WAS. IT FEELS LIKE IT IS JUST A GOOD ANIME WITHOUT HAVING ANY PARTICULAR SIGNIFICANCE, LIKE THE WRITERS JUST THREW EVERYTHING AGAINST THE WALL AND SOME STUCK AND SOME DIDN'T INSTEAD OF HAVING A TIGHT METAPHOR TO EVERYTHING. ON THE OTHER HAND THEY DID A SUPER GOOD JOB MAKING THIS IT'S OWN THING AND 'I'M GOING TO OVERFLOW' IS THE ONLY THING IT FELT LIKE THEY OVERDID FOR "IT WAS IN THE FIRST ONE" REASONS. ALSO VORE I GUESS.   PS. THE ROBOT AND MONSTER DESIGNS IN THIS WERE EXTREMELY BAD AND FORGETTABLE AND THAT WAS A SUPER LETDOWN. I FEEL LIKE I CAN'T REMEMBER WHAT A SINGLE THING LOOKED LIKE COMPARED TO THE SUPER ICONIC DESIGNS IN THE FIRST ONE. 

A Sound of Thunder [short story]

THIS IS THAT STORY EVERYONE KNOWS BUT I AM PRETTY SURE I NEVER ACTUALLY READ. BUT UNLIKE A LOT OF TIMES WHEN I DO THAT AND THE ORIGINAL STORY IS ACTUALLY RICHER THAN THE POP CULTURE DISTILLATION THIS TIME THE ORIGINAL WAS ACTUALLY WAY SIMPLER THAN I EXPECTED SO WELP.   PS. MAYBE I HAVE READ IT BEFORE, WHO CAN EVEN REMEMBER, IT'S LIKE 5 PAGES LONG. IT'S THAT "DON'T GO BACK AND TIME AND STEP ON A BUTTERFLY" STORY.

Factfulness: Ten Reasons We're Wrong About the World [book, nonfiction]

THIS BOOK IS BASICALLY ABOUT THAT THING WHERE MOST YEARS THE CRIME RATE GOES DOWN BUT MOST YEARS PEOPLE SAY THE CRIME RATE IS GOING UP. WHERE THERE IS A LOT OF THINGS GETTING BETTER IN THE WORLD BUT IF YOU POLL PEOPLE THEY WILL SAY THEY ARE GETTING OBJECTIVELY WORSE. IT'S A GOOD PREMISE FOR A BOOK BUT THE BOOK ITSELF WAS PRETTY WEAK ON SAYING ANYTHING ABOUT IT, HONESTLY. PS. READING IT MADE ME MAD AND ONE OF THE CHAPTERS IS ABOUT HOW IT MAKES YOU MAD AND IT'S HARD TO SEPARATE IF THAT MEANS IT'S A BETTER OR WORSE BOOK!

The Incredibles 2 [movie]

IT'S WEIRD THAT THEY START THIS MOVIE WITH ALL THE ACTORS COMING ON AND APOLOGIZING FOR HOW HARD IT WAS TO MAKE. MR MOM STORIES ARE ALWAYS PRETTY BAD BUT THIS WASN'T AS BAD AS IT COULD HAVE BEEN. I LOVE HOW MUCH LITERALLY NO ONE WANTED THAT BABY.       PS. IT WAS A THING FOR A WHILE FOR LIKE TUMBLR TO PUT A BUNCH OF EPILEPSY WARNING STUFF ABOUT THIS MOVIE AND IT CAME OFF AS DOING A LAME "YOUR FAVE IS PROBLEMATIC" SHOW BOATING BUT BOY DOES THIS MOVIE HAVE A BUNCH OF STROBING LIGHTS. 

The Third Policeman [book, amazing]

HOLY CRAP THIS BOOK IS WONDERFUL. IT'S THAT 1930S SURREAL BOOK THAT YOU MAY KNOW AS THE BOOK THAT 'LOST' REFERENCED A BUNCH AND MAN IS IT GOOD. ALSO MAN DO I WISH I READ IT WHILE LOST WAS STILL A THING BECAUSE IT SURE DOES CONNECT A TON. I HATE TO JUST RAVE ABOUT A BOOK BUT I LITERALLY JUST ENDED UP STAYING UP TO 2AM READING THIS AND CAN'T STOP THINKING ABOUT THIS STUPID BOOK.     PS. THE TWIST ENDING IS CLICHE AS HELL BUT HAVING BEEN WRITTEN IN 1939 I IMAGINE THIS IS THE BOOK THAT ACTUALLY INVENTED THIS STUPID TWIST. 

Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom [movie]

THIS MOVIE FEELS LIKE THEY HAD SOMEONE WRITE LIKE TEN DIFFERENT MOVIES THEN JUST RANDOMLY PICKED SCENES FROM THEM TO SHOW. THE MORE I THINK ABOUT THE EVIL PLAN THE LESS SENSE IT MAKES. WHO WERE THEY DOUBLE CROSSING? WHY? WHY DID THEY STEAL THE DINOSAURS THEY ALREADY OWNED? ON THE OTHER HAND AT LEAST THIS MOVIE SETS UP A COOL PREMISE FOR THE THIRD MOVIE. ALTHOUGH IT FELT SUPER WEIRD WHERE THEY DID THE THING WHERE SOMEONE IN A MOVIE SAYS THE TITLE OF THE MOVIE DRAMATICALLY BUT LIKE, NOT THE RIGHT TITLE? LIKE IT SHOULD HAVE BEEN IN THE LAST MOVIE INSTEAD OF THIS ONE? PS. THE BEST PART OF THE MOVIE WAS THE NEWS CEVRON SAYING "UNITED STATES PRESIDENT EXPRESSES DOUBT ABOUT EXISTENCE OF DINOSAURS"  THAT WAS ON SCREEN FOR LIKE TEN SECONDS.

Ex Libris [book, nonfiction]

THIS IS A COLLECTION OF ESSAYS ABOUT BOOKS BY AN AUTHOR. THEY RANGE FROM REALLY GOOD TO REALLY PRETENTIOUS.  THE BEST OF THEM CONTAINS THE STORY OF AN OLDE TIMEY GUY THAT NEEDS TO WRITE A NOTE AND SO KILLS A CROW AND USES IT'S FEATHERS AND BLOOD TO WRITE HIMSELF A REMINDER AND SOMETHING ABOUT THAT SEEMS HILARIOUS TO ME.    PS. THE BEST PART OF THE BOOK IS THE PART WHERE IT TALKS ABOUT HOW IF YOU LOVE BOOKS YOU SHOULD DESTROY THEM WITH YOUR LOVE AND YOUR FAVORITE BOOKS SHOULD BE FALLING APART AND FULL OF NOTES AFTER DECADES OF USE AND THEN THE PREVIOUS OWNER OF THIS BOOK FOLDED THE NEXT PAGE IN HALF. FUCK YEAH, ANARCHY.

Tau [movie]

THIS IS ONE OF THOSE MOVIES THAT SEEMED LIKE IT WAS ALMOST SOMETHING THEN JUST KINDA WAS NOTHING. THE WHOLE PLOT WAS JUST NONSENSE BASICALLY AND SEEMED LIKE SOMEONE COULD REWRITE IT TO BE SOMETHING BETTER BUT OH WELL!   PS. THE BEST PART OF THE MOVIE IS HER OUTFIT FROM THE START WHERE YOU CAN'T TELL IF SHE IS SUPPOSED TO BE WEARING FUTURE SPACE CLOTHES OR MODERN DAY HOOKER CLOTHES.