Capital Reviews

Kingdom Hearts 3 [game, amazing] YEAH YEAH, I KNOW, EVERYONE HAS HAD THE SAME COMPLAINTS ABOUT KINGDOM HEARTS FOR THE LAST 17 YEARS, I KNOW THE STORY IS CONFUSING AND DONALD SAYS INGREDIENTS WEIRD. BUT I LOVE THESE GAMES SO MUCH, THEY ARE EVERYTHING I WANT IN A VIDEO GAME.  I ABSOLUTELY LOVE THE DUMB CONVOLUTED STORY, THERE IS A BILLION CHARACTERS AND LIKE HALF OF THEM ARE THE SAME PERSON AND I AM VERY INVESTED IN EVERY SINGLE ONE. I BEAT THIS GAME ON PROUD AND BEAT EINHANDER BOSS AND GOT ENOUGH LUCKY EMBLEMS TO WATCH THE SECRET ENDING, I WAS THINKING OF PLATINUMING IT BOY YOWZERS WHAT A ROUGH PLATINUM SO I GUESS NOT? PS. I CAN'T STOP THINKING ABOUT HOW IN MONSTERS INC THE PLAN IS THAT BOTH FEAR AND LAUGHTER ARE TEMPORARY TRANSIENT EMOTIONS BUT IF THEY COULD MAKE THE POWER RUN ON SADNESS THAT IF YOU MAKE SOMEONE SAD ENOUGH THEY CAN JUST BE SAD FOREVER. BECAUSE YIKES THAT IS DARK.

Alita: Battle Angel [movie] HA, WHAT THE HECK, THIS MOVIE WAS PRETTY BAD BUT I REALLY LIKE IT. THEY KEPT SO MUCH OF THE STUPID ANIME STUFF SO YOU HAVE LIKE, THE DOCTOR'S STUPID GIANT HAMMER, AND HER PUTTING DOG BLOOD ON HER FACE AND THE CHOCOLATE BEING TOO BIG AND ALL THE WEIRD SCENES. ON THE OTHER HAND THEY CUT OUT HER BEING NAMED AFTER A CAT AND HER REAL NAME BEING GARY. I FEEL LIKE ANIME REMAKE MOVIES ARE LIKE COMIC MOVIES 15 YEARS AGO WHERE THEY WERE ALL SO BAD, SOMEONE EVENTUALLY IS GOING TO FIGURE THIS OUT AND THEY SEEM LIKE THEY ARE GETTING CLOSER, BUT THEY STILL AREN'T THERE AND EVERYONE IS GOING TO FORGET THIS MOVIE EXISTED THEN IN 20 YEARS IT'LL BE ON SUNDAY MORNING ON TV AND EVERYONE WILL SEE IT AND SAY 'WHAT THE HECK WAS THAT???" PS. ALSO I LOVE HOW FINAL FANTASY 7 STOLE A BUNCH OF SUPER SPECIFIC THINGS FROM THIS SO NOW IT SEEMS LIKE THIS JUST STOLE A BUNCH FROM FINAL FANTASY.

Minecraft [game] HEY, DID YOU KNOW MINECRAFT HAS A LAST BOSS NOW? AND LIKE, CREDITS AND A REALLY REALLY WEIRD ENDING. I PLAYED MINECRAFT ORIGINALLY SUPER EARLY ON. IN LIKE 2010 OR SOMETHING, FOR WHATEVER REASON I DECIDED I SHOULD PLAY IT ON THE SWITCH EVEN THOUGH PLAYING IT OFFLINE ON A CONTROLLER IS LIKE, SCIENTIFICALLY THE WORST POSSIBLE WAY TO PLAY. JUST TO SEE ALL THE STUFF THEY HAD ADDED. FOR EXAMPLE, IT JUST NOW LIKE, JUST AUTOBUILDS THINGS? THAT SEEMS SO WEIRD, NO ONE ACTUALLY LIKED MAKING A PICK AXE BY PUTTING THREE STONE, TWO WOOD IN A PATTERN BUT THAT SEEMED LIKE WHAT THIS GAME IS AND IT FEELS SO WEIRD THAT YOU JUST CLICK PICKAXE AND IT BUILDS IT. PS. I DON'T REALLY LIKE MINECRAFT MUCH, I LIKE TERRARIA SO SO MUCH MORE. THEY ARE SO CONCEPTUALLY SIMILAR BUT TERRARIA JUST SEEMS SO MUCH MORE

LEGO Movie 2 [movie] THIS MOVIE WAS QUITE GOOD, THE VILLAIN SONG TWIST IS MY FAVORITE TWIST IN ANYTHING EVER IN A LONG TIME, AND IT WAS SUPER FUNNY. BUT MAN, THE THEME/MORAL OF THIS IS WEIRD,  LIKE IT SEEMS LIKE A REASONABLE "HATING FUN ISN'T GROWN UP" BUT IT ALSO SEEMS LIKE "CHANGE ITSELF IS INHERENTLY BAD" AND LIKE, "GROWING UP IS BAD" OR LIKE... A GRITTY TEEN STORYLINE MUST EXCISE ALL CHILDISH ELEMENTS FOR FEAR OF BEING DESTROYED BY CHILDREN, BUT SHOULD INSTEAD BE DESTROYED BY CHILDREN? LIKE THE LAST ONE FEELS LIKE A CONFLICT MAYBE MILLER AND LORD WERE HAVING WITH THEMSELVES. PS. I UNDERSTAND RADIOHEAD NOW.

Flavors of Youth [anime, movie] NONE OF THIS WAS PARTICULARLY GREAT BUT THE PART ABOUT SOUP WAS THE MOST UNBEARABLE THING I'VE WATCHED IN AGES. I DON'T KNOW WHAT IT WAS ABOUT IT EXACTLY BUT HAVING TO LISTEN TO THE GUY TALK ON AND ON ABOUT SOUP FOR LIKE 15 MINUTES JUST GRATED ON ME BEYOND MY LIMIT TO HANDLE. PS. IT'S WEIRD HOW CASUAL THE PLOT ELEMENT THAT THE DAD BEAT HER UP SO BAD SHE WAS IN THE HOSPITAL FOR FAILING A TEST WAS.

Annihilation [Book] I THINK THIS IS WORSE THAN THE MOVIE. IT DID A SUPER GOOD JOB SETTING UP A ROADSIDE PICNIC SITUATION AND DOING A BUNCH OF REALLY GOOD JUNJI ITO CREEPY STUFF BUT THE ACTUAL STORY WAS KINDA DUMB, WITH A BUNCH OF HYPNOTISM BASED PLOT THAT WAS REAL DUMB, AND THE MOVIE WISELY REMOVED AND REPLACED WITH A REALLY GOOD STORY. ALSO THE WHOLE THING IS LIKE 130 PAGES OF ACTUAL BOOK WHICH IS ABSURDLY SHORT. PS. MAYBE I READ THIS BECAUSE THE GUMMI SHIP SECTION OF KINGDOM HEARTS USES THE WORD ANNIHILATION A LOT AND IT MADE ME THINK "MAN I'VE BEEN SAYING I'D READ ANNIHILATION FOR LIKE 2 YEARS", SO WHAT?