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Showing posts from December, 2009

Torchwood: Children of Earth [television]

EVERYTHING RTD WRITES IS AWFUL AND I HATE HIM AND THE REASON ALIENS NEEDED CHILDREN WAS RETARDED AND THE ENDING WAS JUST A PARTICULARLY GRUESOME 'PRESS THE BUTTON AND REVERSE THE POLARITY TO SOLVE EVERYTHING' LIKE EVERY OTHER RTD STORY BUT I ACTUALLY DIDN'T MIND THIS AT ALL. IT WAS ACTUALLY WELL WRITTEN AND EXCITING. WAY BETTER THAN DOCTOR WHO. ALSO IT PLAYED A GAY RELATIONSHIP AS COMPLEX AND IT HAD SOMEONE DIE WITHOUT A HEROIC SACRIFICE AND GENERALLY PRESENTED THE 'BAD GUYS' OTHER THAN THE ALIEN AS DOING WHAT THEY THOUGHT WAS BEST WITH THEIR SITUATION AND NOT BEING CARTOON VILLAINS. PS. ALSO IT HAD A REALLY SYMPATHETIC PORTRAYAL OF A MURDER SUICIDE.

The End of Time (part 1) [Television]

OBAMA BASED DRAMA. PS. THIS WAS LAME, GO AWAY RTD, YOU ARE HORRIBLE AND THIS WAS HORRIBLE AND YOU NEED TO STOP.

Flood [Book]

I'M STEPHEN BAXTER, THE ONLY CHARACTERS I CAN WRITE ARE AN OLDER WOMAN WITH A CELLPHONE IN SITUATIONS SHE SHOULDN'T HAVE A CELL PHONE AND A MAVERIK BILLIONAIRE. LETS PUT BOTH IN THIS STORY. PS. THIS IS THE SORT OF STORY THAT WORKS THE SETTING INTO EVERY SINGLE SCENE SO WELL THAT WHEN YOU STOP READING YOU FORGET THAT IT WASN'T REAL.

Avatar [movie]

HEY INTERNET I KNOW YOU HAVE FOR SOME REASON DECIDED THIS IS A REALLY UNORIGINAL MOVIE BECAUSE IT IS JUST LIKE POCAHONTIS AND JUST LIKE FERN GULLY AND JUST LIKE FINAL FANTASY 9 AND SO ON AND SO ON BUT IF YOU HAVE TO NAME 10 THINGS THAT IT'S "JUST LIKE' ACROSS LIKE 5 MEDIUMS AND 10 GENRES THEN I MEAN YOU BASICALLY HAVE TO SAY IT'S ORIGINAL AT THAT POINT. IT'S A MOVIE THAT BOTHERED TO SHOW MONKEYS WITH FUSED FORELEGS JUST TO MAKE A CONSISTANT EVOLUTIONARY PROGRESSION OF THE NAVI, COME ON! PS. I AM UNCLEAR IF NA'VI HAVE NIPPLES. I AM ALSO SHOCKED NAVI SEX DOESN'T TWIST THEIR HAIR TOGETHER, I MEAN REALLY.

Final Fantasy Tactics: War of the Lions [Game]

I HAVE PLAYED THE ORIGINAL LIKE 5 TIMES AND IT WAS WEIRD TO ACTUALLY HAVE THE STORY BE IN ACTUAL WORDS. ALSO I HAVE PLAYED THIS LIKE 5 TIMES AND DESPITE BEING SUPER CUSTOMIZABLE I ALWAYS PLAY IT THE EXACT SAME WAY AND MAKE THE EXACT SAME PARTY AND DO THE EXACT SAME THING WHERE I RAISED RAMZA WRONG SO I AM SAVED BEFORE WEGRAF THEN HAVE TO DO TAILWIND A MILLION TIMES TILL I AM LEVEL A BAJILLION THEN ALL THE ENEMIES ARE TOO HARD THE SECOND HALF OF THE GAME. THEN AT THE END I'M SO STRONG I HAVE NEVER SEEN THE LAST BOSS ATTACK. PS. ALSO I MAKE A PARTY OF WHO MY FRIENDS WERE IN 1997 THEN HALF WAY THROUGH THE GAME HAVE THE BETTER CHARACTERS EAT THEM FOR KNOWLEDGE AND THAT'S CREEPY AS HECK.

The Box [movie]

I LOOKED IT UP, THE SHORT STORY THIS WAS BASED ON WAS DUMB, AND THE TWILIGHT ZONE EPISODE THIS STORY WAS MADE INTO WAS LESS DUMB AND THIS MOVIE WAS OKAY BUT HAD A TON OF WEIRD ASS SIDE STORY THAT NEVER REALLY MADE A DAMN BIT OF SENSE. PS. WHY WAS THIS MOVIE SET IN THE 1970s?