Capital Reviews

 The Society [movie]      THIS MOVIE RULES BECAUSE EVERYTHING ABOUT IT IS FILMED LIKE IT'S TEENWOLF OR SOME OTHER REALLY LIGHT HEARTED TEEN SEX COMEDY HORROR MOVIE. BUT THEN THE ACTUAL CONTENT IS LIKE, 'THEY LIVE' BY WAY OF HELLRAISER.  PS. NO I DIDN'T WATCH THIS BECAUSE SOMEONE TOLD ME IT HAD A LOT OF FISTING. I WATCHED THIS BECAUSE SOMEONE WAS SHOCKED I HAD NOT SEEN OR HEARD OF SUCH A WEIRD 80S FISTING BASED HORROR. 

 The Magic Faraway Tree [movie] THIS IS EXTREMELY GOOBY. IT FEELS LIKE IT'S TRYING SO HARD TO BE A CLASSIC MOVIE BY JUST VAUGELY JAMMING RANDOM THINGS FROM CLASSIC FAMILY MOVIES INTO A NOTHING FILM. I DON'T KNOW, THIS FELT LIKE OOGIELOVE LEVEL WRITING BUT I GOTTA BE HONEST, THEY HIRED GOOD ENOUGH ACTORS SOMETIMES I LAUGHED, MAYBE IT WAS WRITTEN THIS WAY ON PURPOSE BUT IT FELT LIKE A LOT OF THE ACTORS WERE ADLIBBING AND KINDA MAKING FUN OF THE SCENES.  PS. I FEEL LIKE AN ELDERLY SKELETON! SPIDERMAN PLAYING THE ROLE OF A DAD OF A TEEN!?? (WAIT, ACTUALLY HE'S BASICALLY THE SAME AGE AS ME?!! AND JUST PLAYS HIGHSCHOOLERS AT 30?)

 Operation Bounce House [book, audiobook] EVER READ "THE TALISMAN' BY STEPHEN KING? WHERE IT'S SO CLEARLY JUST DARK TOWER EVEN THOUGH ANY SPECIFIC DETAIL YOU CAN MENTION IS TOTALLY DIFFERENT. THIS IS THAT FOR DUNGEON CRAWLER CARL. IT'S SO CLEARLY SOME MAJORA'S MASK REWRITE ABOUT USING A COMPANY HARVESTING AI FROM SEEDED PLANETS USING A GAME SHOW THAT IS A VIDEO GAME. (ALSO I HATE THIS IS A SERIES, IT WAS SO CLEARLY MEANT TO BE A STAND ALONE AND END WITH THE ACTUAL CONCERT PLAN, THE WHOLE END PART GETS SO MUDDLED. I DON'T WANT TO READ THIS AS A SERIES) PS. I KNOW THE PEOPLE ARE PAINTED AS THE WORST GUYS IMAGINABLE AND LIKE, LATER REVELATIONS JUSTIFY IT EVEN MORE BUT LIKE, I DON'T KNOW, I DON'T REALLY WANT TO READ ABOUT USING AN AI TO CYBER BULLY CHILDREN TO DEATH. 

 Toy Story 5 [movie] THIS FELT VERY MUDDLED, LIKE IT KEPT HAVING DIFFERENT PARTS AND EVERYONE KEPT HAVING TO SWITCH LOCATIONS. I FEEL LIKE THERE WAS MASSIVE INTERNAL STRUGGLE ON MESSAGING ON ELECTRONICS SINCE DISNEY WANTS TO SELL ELECTRONICS. BUT ALSO THE WEIRD BOOMER SHIFT FROM TOYSTORY ONE BEING ALL "NEW FANGLED THINGS ARE SCARY AND THAT'S OKAY" TO LIKE CHOBITS PS. I HAVE ALWAYS HAD A THEORY THAT EVERY PIXAR MOVIE IS JUST BUILT AROUND THE NEWEST THING THE RENDERING SOFTWARE CAN MAKE AND I CORRECTLY PREDICTED 'ELEMENTAL" AFTER FIRE GOT GOOD, I FEEL LIKE THIS ONE IS 'HORSES" 

 Disclosure day [movie] THIS FEELS LIKE A MOVIE MEANT TO TAP INTO A CULTURAL ZEITGEIST THAT JUST IS NOT ACTUALLY A THING AT ALL RIGHT NOW.  PS. REVERSE EVANGELION 

 Avatar: Fire and Ash [movie] GOD, THEY KEEP MAKING THESE AND THEY ARE ALL THE SAME. WAS THERE EVEN AN AVATAR IN THIS WHOLE MOVIE EVEN ONCE (YES, AT NORMAL TOWN FOR LIKE 3 SECONDS).  PS. BOTH JAKE SULLY AND WIFE ARE SUCH RANCID PEOPLE. TEACHING FACISM TO WHALES