Capital Reviews

 The Gate of the Feral Gods [book, audiobook] THE THING ABOUT THIS SERIES IS EVERYONE HAS SO MUCH PLOT ARMOR AND DEUS EX MACHINA STUFF, BUT LIKE, IT'S DIEGETIC SO YOU CAN'T BE MAD?  I AM A LITTLE MAD AT HOW DUMB THE ICE AGENT AND WIFE PLOT ENDED UP BEING. LIKE, I AM SURE THE PVP RING WILL BE THE PLOT OF THE WHOLE NEXT BOOK, BUT FOR ALL THE BUILD UP IT TOTALLY SUCKED. LIKE IT FEELS LIKE IT HAD SO MANY LEVELS OF GIVING UP ON WRITING THE PLOTLINES.  PS. THESE ARE 'AUDIO BOOK +" ON AUDIBLE WHERE THEY ARE LIKE, SUPER PRODUCED WITH MULTIPLE ACTORS AND VOICE EFFECTS AND SOUND EFFECT AND STUFF TO THE POINT I FEEL BAD EVEN LISTING IT AS A "BOOK" ON CAPITAL REVIEWS. AT THE END OF EVERY ONE THEY DO A LITTLE IN CHARACTER AD FOR THE SITE THAT DOES IT. WHATS THE ORDER THESE CAME OUT VS THE BOOK RELEASES? THE SECOND BOOK SPOILED/FORSHADOWED STUFF FROM THIS BOOK. WAS THAT INTENTIONAL, OR WAS IT JUST THE CONCEPT OF THERE BEING DONUT MERCH AND IT BEING CHEAP AND BAD IS JUST SU...

 The Dungeon Anarchist's Cookbook [book, audiobook] THE D&D VIDEOGAME BOOK SERIES HAD A TRAIN EPISODE? WHAT A SURPRISE PS. IT NEVER REALLY MATTERED BUT THE WAS NO POINT IN THIS BOOK I UNDERSTOOD THE LEVEL LAYOUT. 

 Elio [movie] I FEEL LIKE I CAN MAKE UP A BUNCH OF EXTREME READINGS OF THE MESSAGE HERE BUT LIKE, WHAT IS THE GOOD FAITH READING? IT REALLY SEEMS IT'S "IF YOU ARE DIFFERENT YOU MIGHT LITERALLY RUIN YOUR FAMILY AND THEY MIGHT BE DISGUSTED OR HATE YOU BUT THEY WOULDN'T WANT TO LOSE YOU" PS. I LIKE THE CLONE PARTS BEING ACTUAL HORROR

 Aztec Batman: Clash of Empires [movie] THIS IS A SPANISH LANGUAGE DC BATMAN FILM THAT ONLY CAME OUT IN MEXICO? IT'S KINDA GOOD? IT FELT VAGUELY RACIST BUT I THINK I DON'T KNOW THE NUANCE OF HOW MEXICO FEELS ABOUT AZTECS? PS WHY SO SERIOUS YOKA? (THAT WAS BOTH THE BEST AND THE STUPIDEST PART OF THE MOVIE)

 Carl's Doomsday Scenario [book, audiobook] IT'S WEIRD, THESE DO THE BAD WRITING THING OF EVERY SINGLE THING BEING TELEOLOGICAL. WHERE LIKE, IF THEY FIND A RANDOM ITEM, IT'S PAINFULLY OBVIOUS HOW THAT WILL PAY OFF LATER. BUT LIKE, THE NATURE OF THE STORY GIVES ENDLESS DIAGETIC EXPLANATIONS OF WHY IT WOULD BE THAT WAY.  ACTUALLY THIS LOVES DOUBLING UP ON THINGS. LIKE THE LAST BOOK ENDS WITH THEM GETTING A MANAGER AND THIS ONE STARTS WITH THEM GETTING A DIFFERENT DOUBLE MANAGER. PS. FOR SOME REASON I REALLY LIKE THE EXTREMELY MINOR DETAIL THAT THEY MENTION 3RD FLOOR ALWAYS HAS SOME VINE PLOT BECAUSE THE FICTIONAL ORIGINAL STORY HAD THAT. LIKE THAT IS EXACTLY HOW VIDEOGAME WRITING WORKS. IT ALSO PULLED IN 'FREAKS' TO LIKE, BE THE SAME THING

 28 Years Later: The Bone Temple [movie] THIS MOVIE IS QUITE GOOD, I LIKED IT A LOT. BUT I'M GONNA BE HONEST, IT DID NOT IN ANY WAY PAY OFF THE MOST WACKY ENDING TO ANY MOVIE EVER MADE CLIFFHANGER. I DON'T THINK YOU COULD MAKE ANY OF THE MOVIES THE ORIGINAL WAS SETTING UP SO I GET IT, BUT HOW SAD.  PS. I LOVE HOW READY HE WAS TO HAVE A HEAVY METAL CONCERT. IT SEEMED STUPID, BUT LIKE, HE MADE A BONE TEMPLE, IT ACTUALLY MAKES WAY MORE SENSE THE AMOUNT HE WAS GOOD AT MAKING A HEAVY METAL CONCERT ON THE FLY IN A SINGLE DAY. 

 Dungeon Crawler Carl [book, audiobook] THIS BOOK HAD A LOT OF RISK OF BEING A READY PLAYER TWO BAZINGA BOOK, AND IT DOES HAVE SHADES OF THAT, BUT REALLY IT'S A LOT MORE LIKE THAT ONE MINECRAFT BOOK BY THE WORLD WAR Z GUY WHO IS LIKE OBSESSED WITH THE MECHANISMS OF A VIDEOGAME WORLD OVER A TRADITIONAL STORY AND THATS FUN.  IT'S ALSO A WELL DONE AUDIO BOOK, SO I GUESS I'LL KEEP GOING WITH THIS SERIES.  PS. FORM OF THE ULTIMATE EVIL: AN ICE AGENT.

 Greenland II: Migration [movie] THIS MOVIE IS WEIRD, IT FEELS LIKE THERE WAS ALMOST SOMETHING TO IT. LIKE IT HAD SUCH A WEIRD TONAL DISCORD, LIKE IT WAS A FUN ADVENTURE DISASTER MOVIE BUT WAS SO RELENTLESS THAT THE DISASTER WAS ABSURDLY HOPELESS. LIKE INDEPENDENCE DAY SET IN "THE ROAD" OR SOMETHING. ALSO THEIR GOAL WAS SO WEIRD AND SO OVER THE TOP CLEARLY FAKE NONSENSE IT FELT SO CLEAR THERE WAS GOING TO BE A TWIST (BUT THERE WAS NOT, WHICH MAKES EVEN LESS SENSE! IT'S SUCH AN UNHAPPY ENDING BUT IT DOESN'T SEEM TO KNOW THAT?). ALSO IT'S KILLING ME, I READ A SHORT STORY AS A KID, ABOUT PEOPLE IN A VAULT IN GREENLAND AFTER THE END OF THE WORLD AND IT'S THIS BIG SPRAWLING HYPOTHETICAL ABOUT HOW IT'LL BE THE SPARK THAT GETS HUMANITY TOGETHER AND AFTER A HARD PERIOD THEY WILL RISE AGAIN AND GET TO THE STARS THEN THE BOOK ENDS WITH LIKE "THEY RAN OUT OF FOOD AFTER TEN YEARS" AND I CAN NOT FIND THAT STORY AND MY BRAIN WANTS IT TO BE "THE HUDDLING P...

 Goodnight Punpun Vol. 1 [book, comic] I'VE BEEN MEANING TO READ THIS FOR DECADES, IT'S A MID 2000S COMING OF AGE/DEALING WITH NOT FITTING IN/ALIENATION MANGA SERIES. WITH THE GIMMICK THAT IT'S DRAWN VERY DETAILED EXCEPT THE MAIN CHARACTER WHO IS A LITTLE DOODLE OF A BIRD GHOST THING.  PS. I DON'T REALLY KNOW HOW TO PROPERLY DO CAPITAL REVIEWS.  IT'S 145 CHAPTERS, ACROSS SEVEN VOLUMES THAT ARE EACH AROUND 500 PAGES. BUT THE VOLUMES ARE PRETTY ARBITARY AND JUST START AND STOP WHEREVER. SO I GUESS I DO 7 REVIEWS?

 Timestalker [movie] I REALLY LIKE THIS MOVIE, I LIKE THAT IT'S A WEIRD COMEDY IN A WEIRD HIGH CONCEPT SORT OF MOVIE THAT WOULDN'T NORMALLY BE A COMEDY AND I LIKE HOW MUCH IT'S NOT A ROMANCE.  PS. LEGEND OF ZELDA MOVIE (BLACKADDER MOVIE)