Capital Reviews

I LIKE THESE AND FEEL LIKE I AM GETTING CAUGHT UP ON IMPORTANT COMIC BOOK HISTORY BY WATCHING THEM BUT GOD I JUST WANT TO HAVE WATCHED THEM ALL SO I DON'T HAVE TO WATCH THESE ANYMORE FFFFFFF. PS. I AM SURE IT'S CANNON BUT I HATE COMMISSIONER GORDEN BEING A FIGHTER TOO. I CAN LIVE WITH ALFRED BEING EX JAMES BOND OR WHATEVER DUMB THING HE IS BUT DOES LITERALLY EVERYONE NEED TO BE?

I HATE LAZARUS PITS, THEY ARE THE WORST STORY TELLING ELEMENT EVER, I KNOW THIS STORY WAFFLED ON IF IT TURNED HIM EVIL OR NOT BUT EVEN THE IMPLICATION THAT WAS IT IS TERRIBLE. ON THE UPSIDE, EVEN IF THIS WAS ANOTHER BATMAN MOVIE WITH A BAD VOICED JOKER THAT KILLS SOMEONE WITH A CUP I THINK I AM MAYBE A GIANT FAN OF SUICIDE JOKER, HIM PUNCHING BATMAN SO HE COULD GET BLOWN UP BY A BOMB IS GREAT. I'M NOT EVEN JOKING, THAT IS A REALLY GOOD JOKER CHARACTERIZATION. PS. ON THE OTHER HAND GOOD LORD BEATING ROBIN WAS UNCOMFORTABLE, NOT EVEN "UNCOMFORTABLE FOR A CARTOON", IT WAS JUST FLAT OUT UP THERE WITH 'IRREVERSIBLE' FOR SOMETHING BEING GRAPHICALLY HORRIFYING ON SCREEN. ROBIN IS A LITTLE KID!

THIS MOVIE IS REALLY WEIRD, THE GOOD ENDING STILL ENDS WITH THE GUY FUNCTIONALLY MEMORY WIPED AND IN THE SOURCE CODE PROGRAM EXACTLY LIKE THE BAD ENDING. ALSO SEAN IS DEAD AND CAPTAIN STOLE HIS GIRLFRIEND I GUESS. PS. IS THIS THE FIRST MOVIE I CAN THINK OF WHERE PEOPLE ADMIT THAT CELL PHONES HAVE INTERNET AND THAT THAT CAN SOLVE PROBLEMS CHARACTERS HAVE?

I FEEL LIKE IT'S REALLY RARE FOR A VIDEOGAME TO BE 'IT'S SO BAD IT'S GOOD BUT THIS GAME WAS KINDA THAT. IT'S LIKE SOMEONE PLAYED AN ELDER SCROLLS GAME AND SAID "I COULD DO BETTER' AND MADE THEIR OWN SORTA CRAPPY KNOCK OFF BUT PUT SO MUCH HEART INTO IT THAT IT WAS CHARMING. ALSO I BEAT VIRTUALLY EVERY SINGLE BATTLE BY EITHER EXPLOITING THE PHYSICS AND CAUSING THINGS TO WIG OUT OR EXPLOITING THE AI AND CAUSING THINGS TO WIG OUT BUT IT FELT LIKE THERE WAS ENOUGH WAYS TO BREAK THE GAME THAT OVER THE COURSE OF THE GAME I WAS CONSTANTLY SHIFTING ON TO NEW NONSENSE SO IT NEVER GOT OLD. PS. I ATE A FISH BRAIN THEN RAN THROUGH THE LAST THIRD OF THE GAME IN LIKE 15 MINUTES BECAUSE I THINK THEY DESIGNED THE MAP AS IF YOU COULD NOT CROSS WATER.

IT'S A KOREAN MOVIE WITH THREE SHORT SEGMENTS ABOUT THE END OF THE WORLD.  ALSO ALL OF THEM HAD AN ENDING THAT SEEMED LIKE IT MEANS SOMETHING WHERE I COULDN'T REALLY TELL YOU WHAT THEY MEAN. APPLE OF KNOWLEDGE? ROBOT ARM DOG? ALIEN CONFIRMATION? WHAT? PS. I FEEL LIKE 1999 WOULD LIKE TO WATCH A MOVIE ABOUT A ROBOT WHO BECOME BUDDHA SO DAMN MUCH.

I PRETTY MUCH ALWAYS HEARD THIS MOVIE IN THE CONTEXT OF IT BEING A TERRIBLE FAILURE OF A MOVIE BUT MORE RECENTLY PEOPLE SEEM LIKE RETROSPECTIVELY THEY LIKE IT SO I WATCHED IT. IT SEEMED PRETTY OKAY. THE PLOT WAS REALLY FRAGMENTED BUT IT WASN'T TERRIBLE AT ALL AND IT SHOWED STING LEVITATING WHICH IS HILARIOUS. (THE TIVO/HIVEO JOKE ALSO SEEMED FUNNY ENOUGH TO ME I AM STILL LAUGHING IT SEVERAL HOURS LATER, AS WELL AS BE-JESUS) PS. ON THE OTHER HAND THIS MOVIE WAS REALLY WEIRD WITH THE FACT THE BEES REALLY WERE IN LABOR CAMPS AND THE MOVIE ACTS LIKE BENSON WAS A BAD GUY AND MADE A MISTAKE FOR ENDING IT.

THIS WAS REALLY BAD, LIKE, REALLY REALLY BAD, LIKE SOMEONE TRIED TO MAKE A SATERDAY MORNING CARTOON BUT DIDN'T GET FUNDING SO THEY JUST MADE IT AN HOUR AND A HALF LONG AND SAID HELL AND CRAP A FEW TIMES TO MAKE IT A MOVIE. IT'S REALLY NOT GOOD AT ALL! PS. IT'S GOT RON PERLMAN IN IT AT LEAST.