Computer RPGs [List of Games]

THIS LIST IS 99% LESS SCIENTIFICALLY CONSTRUCTED THAN THE CONSOLE ONE AND WAY MORE LIKELY TO SKIP STUFF LIKE HARD NOVA AND WIZARDRY AND DUNGEON SIEGE AND TITAN QUEST THAT IS TOO BORING TO TALK ABOUT OR STUFF LIKE MASTER OF MAGIC THATS NOT REALLY AN RPG. PLUS THERE IS LOTS OF GAMES I PIRATED AND PLAYED FOR 45 MINUTES THAT DON'T COUNT.

Bard's Tale II







TO BE HONEST I DIDN'T PLAY THIS GAME MUCH BUT I SAT ON THE FLOOR AND WATCHED MY BIG BROTHER PLAY IT FOR HOURS AND IT'S THE FIRST RPG I EVER SAW. ALSO THE PRINCESS HAD A TROLL GRAPHIC AND ALL THE ROOMS LOOKED THE SAME AND YOU'D GET SPUN AROUND UNLESS YOU WORE THE NO-SPIN RING BUT WE ALWAYS THOUGHT IT WAS THE 'NOSE-PIN' RING.

PS. ALSO WE SOLVED ONE OF THE PUZZLES BY LOOKING AT THE ANSWER IN A HEX EDITIOR. AND ALL I EVER DID WHEN I PLAYED WAS START A NEW GAME THEN GET A FRED FROM THE GUILD AND MAKE IT SUMMON A BUNCH OF FREDS THEN DO THE FIRST LEVEL OVER AND OVER.

Nethack







IT IS MORE FUN TO TALK ABOUT PLAYING NETHACK THAN IT IS TO PLAY NETHACK.

PS. IT IS REALLY FUN TO TALK ABOUT NETHACK.

Fallout [B]







LISTEN, THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH PLAYING A VIDEOGAME WHERE YOU CAN CATTLE PROD CHILDREN'S GENITALS UNTIL THEIR HEAD EXPLODES.

LISTEN, IT MAKES PERFECT SENSE TO SAY THIS IS THE MOST REALISTIC POST APOCALYPTIC SETTING IN ANYTHING EVER IF YOU IGNORE ALL THE ZOMBIES AND ALIENS AND TIME TRAVEL AND ZAP GUNS AND BASICALLY EVERYTHING AND ANYONE THAT PLAYED IT WILL AGREE.

PS. THE MASTER WAS REALLY SCARY AT THE TIME!

Fallout 2 [B]







THE GAMEPLAY WAS WAY BETTER AND THE STORY WAS WAY WORSE THE END. ALSO THE MANUAL HAD LIKE RECIPES FOR MUSHROOM STEW AND WEIRD TABLES ABOUT RADIATION IN REAL LIFE AND THAT WAS REALLY P. COOL.

PS. AND ALL TALKING ANIMALS DIED AT THE EXACT INSTANT FALLOUT 2 WAS OVER. THIS IS CANON.

Planescape: Torment







THIS WAS A REALLY COOL STORY PUT IN A VIDEOGAME BUT BASICALLY THEY FORGOT TO PUT A GAME IN THIS GAME SO YOU BASICALLY JUST READ A BOOK FOR 12 HOURS AND SOMETIMES VERY AWKWARDLY PLAY A CRAPPY D&D GAME IN BETWEEN BUT YOUR DEAD ALREADY SO YOU CAN'T DIE. WATCH THAT VIDEO, THATS ACTUALLY GAMEPLAY. BUT THEN AGAIN THE STORY ACTUALLY *IS* REALLY GOOD.

PS WHAT CAN CHANGE THE NATURE OF A MAN? SERIOUSLY SOMEONE TELL ME BECAUSE I DON'T KNOW. IS IT REGRET? I THINK IT'S REGRET.

Baldur's Gate II: Shadows of Amn







YOU MUST GATHER YOUR PARTY TO VENTURE FORTH
YOU MUST GATHER YOUR PARTY TO VENTURE FORTH
YOU MUST GATHER YOUR PARTY TO VENTURE FORTH

PS. YOU MUST GATHER YOUR PARTY TO VENTURE FORTH

Deus Ex







YES THIS CAME OUT BEFORE THE MATRIX.

PS. IT'S AN RPG YOU CAN LEVEL UP AND STUFF. COMPUTER GAMES SUCK.

Diablo II [B]







HEY REMEMBER THAT TIME CONVICTION STACKED WITH BLESSED HAMMER?

HEY REMEMBER THAT TIME PIERCING ARROW STACKED WITH HOMING ARROW?

HEY REMEMBER THAT TIME THEY FORGOT YOU COULD LEVEL UP STATIC FIELD

HEY REMEMBER THAT TIME THEY FORGOT YOU COULD LEVEL UP CORPSE EXPLOSION

HEY REMEMBER THAT TIME BONE WALLS DROPPED ITEMS

HEY REMEMBER THAT TIME WHEN BOSSES WERE ABLE TO HIT YOU SERVER SIDE BEFORE THE ROOM LOADED.

HEY REMEMBER THAT TIME YOU COULD GAMBLE ON SOJS BY HAVEING THE OTHER RINGS?

PS. HARADRUM HARADRUM HARADRIC HARADROM STAY A WHILE AND LISTEN.

Morrowind [B]







OH HEY INT DETERMINES HOW WELL THE POTIONS YOU MAKE WORK. OH HEY THIS INCLUDES INT POTIONS :JUMPS 25 MILES AT A TIME AND PUNCHES GOD TO DEATH:

OH HEY LETS HAVE SPELLS WITH 1 SECOND DURATIONS WORK JUST AS GOOD AS SPELLS WITH 60 SECOND DURATIONS AS LONG AS YOU DO SOMETHING THAT PAUSES THE GAME LIKE TALKING TO SOMEONE.

OH HEY LETS MAKE IT SO YOU CAN ENCHANT YOUR PANTS SO THAT YOUR 100% INVISIBLE AND NO ENEMY CAN INTERACT WITH YOU

PS THIS GAME WAS ACTUALLY PRETTY FUN BECAUSE IT WAS SO BROKEN THAT IT WAS ACTUALLY FUN TO NOT PLAY RIGHT AND JUST BE GOD AND JUMP SO HIGH YOU COULD SEE PAST THE EDGE OF WHERE THE GAME BOTHERED TO DRAW LAND. I MEAN THAT VIDEO IS THE WHOLE GAME IN 6 MINUTES.

Neverwinter Nights







I GOTTA ADMIT I PLAYED THIS GAME A LOT AND IT WAS MY FAVORITE ONLINE GAME EVER UNTIL I REALIZED THAT MANY OF THE FUNCTIONS I THOUGHT THE COMPUTER WAS DOING WERE DONE BY AN AUTISTIC MAN IN ENGLAND THEN I WAS TOO WEIRDED OUT TOO KEEP PLAYING.

PS. ORIGIN OF KESSA JOHNSON.

Oblivion [B]







LETS HIRE CAPTAIN PICARD TO BE A VOICE ACTOR THEN MAKE HIM DIE IN THE FIRST 5 MINUTES THEN HIRE TWO GUYS TO VOICE ACT THE ENTIRE REST OF THE GAME.

PS. THIS GAME IS HORRIBLE IT'S ONLY FUN TO PUSH BEARS DOWN HILLS.

Titan Quest [B]







I PIRATED THE GAME AND SOMEHOW STILL FEEL I OVERPAYED.

PS. DIABLO IN ROME.

MMORPGS

Ragnarok Online







WHO NEEDS STORY OR QUESTS OR ANYTHING JUST KILL STUFF THEN LEVEL UP THEN KILL MORE STUFF THEN NEVER LEVEL UP AGAIN FOR THE NEXT 700 HOURS.

PS. RATING: BASICALLY TERRIBLE

Maple Story







I GOT INTO THE BETA BEFORE IT CAME OUT. SO I PLAYED IT AND IT WAS BASICALLY TERRIBLE. ALSO FOX NEWS 11 LOVES DOING STORIES ABOUT INTERNET THINGS. MAPLE STORY: INTERNET HATE MACHINE.

PS. RATING: BASICALLY TERRIBLE

Guild Wars







THIS HAD A REALLY GOOD IDEA, AN MMORPG WHERE YOU CAN'T RAID OR LEVEL UP OR ANYTHING. IT WAS BASICALLY REAL TIME MAGIC THE GATHERING WITH HUNDREDS OF SKILLS AND A SMALL HAND OF SKILLS AT ONCE, AND THAT WAS REALLY COOL BUT THEN IN LIKE A WEEK PEOPLE FOUND THINGS LIKE 32 HP MONKS THAT WERE UNBEATABLE AND THE GAME STOPPED BEING FUN AT ALL

PS. RATING: BASICALLY TERRIBLE

World Of Warcraft







DO YOU REMEMBER THAT TIME BLIZZARD TOOK OUT MAINE COON CATS AND THEN MADE AN ANNOUNCEMENT THAT WAS LIKE 'MAINE DOES NOT EXIST IN THE WORLD OF WARCRAFT'; THE FEELING IS MUTUAL AS FAR AS I'M CONCERNED.

PS. I FEEL LIKE A RACIST OLD GRANDMA THAT IS AT PROGRESSIVE ENOUGH TO KNOW NOT TO SAY ANYTHING ABOUT NEGROS WHEN BLACKS OR THE GRANDCHILD THATS DATING A BLACK IS AROUND.

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