The Starlight Barking [book, amazing]

The Starlight Barking [book, amazing]

I AM LOSING MY FRIGGIN MIND. I CAN NOT HANDLE THIS BOOK EXISTING.  I FEEL LIKE I HAVE HAD A STROKE. I CAN'T EVEN FIND A CATEGORY TO PUT THIS IN, SO I'M PUTTING IT IN A "CALMING BOOK" FOR REASONS OF IRONY BECAUSE I FEEL LIKE BRAIN IS BOILING OUT OF MY SKULL WITH EVERY SINGLE PAGE OF THIS. 

 SO YOU KNOW THE MOVIE "101 DALMATIANS"?  I FEEL LIKE IT'S NOT TOO SHOCKING TO FIND OUT THAT WAS BASED ON A CHILDREN'S BOOK. I DIDN'T KNOW THAT BUT IT'S NOT SURPRISING. WHAT *IS* SURPRISING IS THE AUTHOR WROTE A SEQUEL TO 101 DALMATIANS AND THAT THE PREMISE OF IT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU COULD GUESS EVEN IF I GAVE YOU A TRILLION YEARS TO DO SO. 

IT IS A BOOK ABOUT THE 101 DALMATIONS WAKING UP TO FIND THAT ALL LIFE ON EARTH HAS GONE INTO A COMA EXCEPT DOGS AND THAT DOGS NOW SHARE A TELEPATHIC HIVE MIND, CAN LEVITATE AND FLY, AND HAVE THE ABILITY TO ORDER TECHNOLOGY TO DO THEIR BIDDING AND THE STORY IS ABOUT THEM FORMING A DOG GOVERNMENT IN LONDON. ALSO THEY JUST RANDOMLY DECIDE AT ONE POINT THEY NEED TO GO MURDER THE SLEEPING CURELLA DE VIL BUT DISCOVER SHE NOW ONLY MAKES CLOTHING OUT OF METAL INSTEAD OF FUR, SO THEY DON'T MURDER HER BECAUSE MURDERING A SLEEPING WOMAN WOULD BE WRONG, BUT ALSO MAYBE BECAUSE SHE WAS ENCASED IN METAL? EVERYTHING IN THIS BOOK WAS SO CONFUSING.  

PS. I FEEL LIKE PEOPLE DO THE 'HEH HEH, THE AUTHOR MUST BE ON DRUGS' THING ABOUT ANY BOOK THAT IS SLIGHTLY OFF BEAT, BUT THIS BOOK FEELS LIKE SOMETHING WAS *WRONG* WITH IT, NOT JUST THAT THE STORY WAS SO WEIRD, BUT IT ACTUALLY FELT REALLY HARD TO PARSE A LOT OF IT. LIKE SENTENCES WERE COMPREHENSIBLE IF YOU TRIED BUT THEY ALL FELT TRANSLATED OR SOMETHING, LIKE THE WORDS WEREN'T IN A NORMAL ORDER.  LIKE THE STORY IS KINDA JUST "CHILDHOOD'S END" BUT WITH DOGS AND I DON'T FEEL LIKE I'M ALL THAT STUPID, BUT IT FEELS LIKE I HAVE ONLY A VAUGE IDEA WHAT ACTUALLY WAS HAPPENING AT ANY POINT, LIKE NONE OF THE SENTENCES QUITE MADE PERFECT SENSE AND I HAD TO REREAD A LOT OF PAGES TO FIGURE OUT WHO WAS SAYING WHAT OR WHAT THEY WERE REFERRING TO. THIS BOOK IS REALLY MESSED UP. 

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