The Marvels [movie]

 The Marvels [movie]

IT FEELS LIKE THEY TOOK A PIECE OF PAPER AND WROTE DOWN IDEAS THAT COULD BE IN A MOVIE THEN JUST FILMED THAT OUTLINE INSTEAD OF MAKING AN ACTUAL MOVIE. LIKE, THE POSITION FLIPPING STUFF WAS AN AWESOME IDEA AND I CAN IMAGINE HOW YOU'D MAKE AN AMAZING FIGHT SCENE OUT OF THAT, BUT THEY JUST KINDA NEVER DO? (ALSO THE WHOLE SETUP WITH THE BRACERS FEELS LIKE THE SWITCH SHOULD BE MARVEL, KAMALA THEN THE BAD GUY, IT FEELS SO SET UP FOR THAT AND THAT'D BE AN EVEN COOLER FIGHT) THEN THEY GO TO A PLANET WHERE EVERYONE CAN ONLY SING AND IMMEDIATELY GO "OH, THIS GUY DOESN'T SING" AND THEN NEVER SING AGAIN?   LIKE EVERYTHING THAT HAPPENS FEELS IMMEDIATELY DROPPED. ALSO THE BAD GUY FEELS LIKE THE GOOD GUY IN THE STORY AND IT FEELS LUCKY THIS MOVIE CAME OUT JUST LONG ENOUGH AGO AND FAILED ENOUGH TO GET OUT OF PUBLIC CONSCIOUSNESS TO NOT BE 6 MONTHS OF CONSTANT ARTICLES ON IF MARVEL OR HAMMER LADY REPRESENTED PALESTINE OR ISRAEL MORE. 

PS. CAT EGGS

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Magicats! [book]

 Magicats! [book] Space-Time for Springers : This is just "my cat is sad" but wacky. A kitten convinced it will grow up to be human.  The Game of Rat and Dragon : This is some real extreme nonsense 1970s sci-fi. Things from the dark eat you if you travel through warp space, but human brains are too slow to react to the millisecond attacks, so they have to make psychic entanglement with strong hunter cats. There is vague romantic undertones to this.  The Cat from Hell: Oh, it's that stephen king story.  It's that thing from the tales from the darkside movie. The one king doesn't know how cats or mouths work.  Out Of Place: I don't remember anything about this story and have just reskimmed it right now and still can't tell you anything about it.  Schrödinger's Cat: I absolutely love Ursula K Leguin, but oof, this book just didn't work. It has a strong feeling of a metaphor based on some not quite right 1970s pop understanding of physics. Maybe it'
Read more

Mighty Morphin Power Rangers: Once & Always [movie]

Mighty Morphin Power Rangers: Once & Always [movie] I DON'T KNOW. THIS MOVIE RULES. IT'S ONE OF THOSE MOVIES THAT IS DEFINITELY A PARODY BUT THE KIND OF PARODY WHERE THEY LITERALLY EVER MAKE A JOKE OR TRY TO BE FUNNY AND IT'S JUST LIKE THE MOST SPOT ON FULL HEARTED LEGITIMATE VERSION OF HOW STUPID POWER RANGERS ALWAYS WAS. LIKE ALL THE POWER RANGERS ARE 40 AND YOU THINK THEY WOULD MAKE JOKES ABOUT THAT, BUT THEY REALLY DON'T. SO YOU THINK THEY WOULD EXAGGERATE HOW BAD THE WRITING IS, BUT THEY DON'T DO THAT EITHER, OR YOU THINK THEY WOULD GO THE OTHER WAY AND TRY TO MAKE POWER RANGERS ACTUALLY COOL AS IT THOUGHT IT WAS AND THEY DON'T DO THAT THEY JUST WRITE EXACTLY WHAT EVERYONE WOULD HAVE SAID EXACTLY IN THE ORIGINAL AND JUST LET HOW STUPID IT IS STAND. IT RULES. LIKE HE JUST BREAK DANCE FIGHTS AND THE MOVIE NEITHER TRIES TO MAKE IT ANY LESS LAME THAN IT WAS NOR PLAYS UP HOW STUPID THAT IS. IT JUST DOES IT.  PS. JESUS CHRIST, YELLOW RANGER DIED IN REAL LIFE.
Read more

Mondo Cane [movie, nonfiction]

 Mondo Cane [movie, nonfiction] OH! I GET IT! I KNEW THIS MOVIE GENRE WAS CALLED "MONDO" AND I ABSTRACTLY KNEW MONDO WAS 'WORLD' IN ITALIAN AND THIS IS THE FIRST MONDO FILM AND IT'S THAT IT'S THAT IT'S STUFF FROM ALL AROUND THE WORLD, NOT JUST RANDOM STORIES. THIS IS PAINFULLY OBVIOUS BUT IT'S NOT LIKE I WAS WATCHING FACES OF DEATH WORKING OUT WHY IT'S A MONDO FILM. ALSO: MONDO FILMS SUCK, IT'S FUNNY THIS IS THE FIRST ONE AND IT'S BETTER THAN EVERY OTHER ONE AND SOMEHOW LESS RACIST DESPITE BEING 20 YEARS EARLIER THAN MOST OF THEM BUT ALL THESE SUCK AND AREN'T GOOD AND THEY FELT LIKE A HUGE BIG DEAL IN THE EARLY 2000S WHEN THE INTERNET MADE THESE CRAZY TABOO MOVIES SEMI-ACCESSABLE BUT THEY ARE JUST NOTHING.  PS. I LIKE THAT THIS IS ITALIAN SO AMERICA GETS TO BE IN THE LIST OF FOREIGN COUNTRIES AND IT'S LIKE, THE THING WHERE HAWAII GIVES YOU A LAI WHEN YOU VISIT, WOMEN WORK OUT AT GYMS, BIKINI LADIES DISTRACT SAILORS,  PET CEMETERIES
Read more