Capital Reviews

OKAY, SO THERE IS SOME WORMS THAT LIVE IN FLOWERS AND IF YOU MAKE TEA OUT OF THEM YOU CAN PSYCHIC MIND CONTROL PEOPLE BUT IF YOU PUT THEM IN PILLS YOU CAN HYPNOTIST PEOPLE INTO GIVING YOU THEIR GOLD COINS. THEN ONCE YOU DO THAT A PIG RANCHER WILL TAKE A WORM OUT OF YOU AND PUT IT IN A PIG, THEN YOU WILL HAVE AN ET CONNECTION TO THE PIG AND IF YOUR PIG GETS MARRIED YOU GET MARRIED TOO AND GET CANCER PREGNANT, AND WHEN THEY DROWN YOUR PIG BABIES YOU WILL GO CRAZY BUT ALL THE WORM JUICE WILL COME BACK OUT OF THE PIGS AND GO LIVE IN THE FLOWERS. DID I GET THIS RIGHT? PS. ALSO SOMEHOW BEING A MAGIC PIG FARMER IS PART OF A PLOT TO GET RECORD DEALS BY ROLLING ROCKS IN DRAINAGE PIPES?

THE BEST PART OF THIS MOVIE IS THAT HER PRIMARY LIE WASN'T GOOD ENOUGH SO IT NEEDED A ROMANCE SUBPLOT WHERE HAWAIIAN WARRIORS MARRIED HER TO SOME GUY IN SECRET. PS. DID SHE CHANGE HER NAME TO TANIA HEAD BECAUSE SHE HAD A DISPROPORTIONATELY FAT AND GROSS HEAD?

I DONT KNOW MAN. I AM SURE SAYING THIS MAKES ME "THAT GUY" WHO JUST DOSENT GET IT, AND I FEEL THE HUMAN RACE IS DIVERSE ENOUGH PEOPLE EXIST THAT REALLY AND TRUELY HAVE NO SEXUALITY BUT BOY DOES IT ALWAYS JUST LOOK LIKE "ASK ME ABOUT MY CRIPPLING SOCIAL ANXIETY AND/OR DISCOMFORT WITH MY ACTUAL SEXUALITY" AND SHOWING THAT GIRLS ANIME FAN ART DIDNT REALLY CHANGE THAT MUCH. PS. THIS MOVIE SORT OF BOGGED DOWN INTO BEING ABOUT THAT ONE GUYS WEIRD RELATIONSHIP WEB.

THIS MOVIE IS JUST EXCEPTIONALLY WONDERFUL. HOLY CRAP WAS THIS MOVIE GOOD. IT DOSENT EVEN FEEL LIKE IT COULD BE A RWAL MOVIE WITH ALL THE WEIRD CAMEOS AND STUFF. I LIKE EVERYTHNG ABOUT THIS MOVIE. PS. I WATCHED A CAMRIP WITH ALL THE ONSCREEN TEXT IN SPANISH BECAUSE I WANTED TO WATCH THIS BUT FIGURED NO ONE WOULD GO SEE THIS WITH ME. 

GOD, MORE AND MORE AS I TRAVEL I HAVE DEVELOPED MORE AND MORE ABILITY TO BE INSUFFERABLE AND SAY "HEH, I'VE BEEN THERE" ABOUT MORE AND MORE STUFF. I LOVE THAT THIS GAME EXTENDS MY ABILITY TO SAY THAT TO A JRPG. PS. SINCE THIS WAS A REPLAY OF THIS GAME I PLAYED THE WHOLE GAME ON HARD AT LEVEL 1. BUT ACTUALLY THAT TURNED OUT TO BE NOT SUPER HARD BECAUSE YOU JUST GET TONS OF MONEY FOR BEATING ENEMIES THAT WAY AND CAN JUST BUY A BUNCH OF FOOD THEN SLOWLY EAT IT.

UGG, I DIDN'T LIKE THIS MOVIE AT ALL, EVERYONE WAS FAR FAR TOO AWFUL PEOPLE TO WANT TO WATCH ANY OF IT. ALSO IT HAD SOME WEIRD 'WHAT IS REAL!" PLOT THAT CAME IN AT THE END THAT I WAS TOO BUSY TO ACTUALLY LOOK AT SO MAYBE THE ENDING WAS GREAT AND WOULD HAVE CHANGED MY OPINION IF I COULD HAVE BOTHERED TO LOOK AT THE SCREEN ENOUGH? PS. WALKIN WAS THE DAD THOUGH AND HE WAS THE BEST PART.

ALRIGHT SO THE NEW ONE WASN'T REALLY TERRIBLE. IT WASN'T VERY SUBVERSIVE OR ANYTHING BUT IT WASN'T OFFENSIVELY BAD. ALSO I KNEW THIS WASN'T GOING TO BE THIS MOVIE BUT I REALLY FELT LIKE WHEN THEY HAD THAT SEEMINGLY AWKWARDLY WRITTEN SCENE THAT WAS LIKE "WE HAVE TO MAKE A RULE I NEVER GET TO LOOK INSIDE MYSELF AGAIN" FOLLOWED BY A "WE NEED TO DO THIS BY *ANY* MEANS NECESSARY" FOLLOWED BY BRAIN SURGERY I REALLY REALLY WANTED THERE TO BE A TWIST THAT THEY JUST TOOK HIS BRAIN OUT. I WISH IT HAD BEEN THAT MOVIE, HIM BEING ALL DRAMATIC AND OVERCOMING HIS PROGRAMMING AND ALL. PS. IT WAS WEIRD BECAUSE THIS BASICALLY DIDN'T HAVE THE 80S MAD MAGAZINE HUMOR EXCEPT IN THE NEWS TICKERS SO THE NEWS TICKERS HAD A BUNCH OF STORIES ABOUT HOOKERS IN SPACE AND ALIEN COMMUNICATION AND CRAP THAT DIDN'T FIT IN. ALSO IT'S WEIRD THEY DIDN'T DO ANYTHING ABOUT DETROIT SINCE DETROIT IS LIKE EVEN WORSE THAN IT WAS IN THE 80S AND THAT WAS THE WHOLE POINT OF IT ...